There’s nothing better than a cup of coffee in the early morning before heading off to work. It fends off the sleep demons and sets you right for the day. There are many coffee types you can enjoy, probably just as much as coffee quotes in this list. If you’re more of a tea person, not to worry! Have you ever wondered what to say to a coffee lover? Well, you can freely use these quotes to bond with your coffee-drinking friends over a cup.
You might wonder, how on Earth are there quotes about coffee? Well, when there are so many people who love a specific thing, sayings about it are just bound to appear. And that’s what happened here: a full list of funny coffee quotes by coffee drinkers from all over the world. Ranging from morning coffee quotes, newfound excitements for this universal drink, and a love for coffee so deep that there’s a new birthstone in town—a coffee bean.
So, no better time to make a cup of coffee than now! Sit back, relax, and enjoy our collection of coffee quotes along with your drink. Be careful, it’s hot!
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“Life is too short to drink bad coffee.”
Or as my former pastor said, life is too short for church basement coffee.
"What goes best with a cup of coffee? Another cup." - Henry Rollins
“People say money can’t buy happiness. They lie. Money buys coffee, coffee makes me happy!”
“I believe humans get a lot done, not because we’re smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee.” - Flash Rosenberg
“I gave up coffee. It’s almost worse than giving up a lover.” - Sandra Bullock
“No matter what historians claimed, BC really stood for ‘Before Coffee.’ ” - Cherise Sinclair
"Decaffeinated coffee is like a hairless cat: it exists, but that doesn’t make it right."
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short.”
“I’d have coffee, sometimes six cups, along with the shake, and I’d have sugar in my coffee. By then I would be pretty jazzed up, and I’d start writing down ideas.” - David Lynch
“Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all.” - David Lynch
I disagree. I would rather get a withdrawal headache from no coffee than drink instant coffee.
“I think the key to the start of any good relationship is to remember how the other person likes their coffee.” - J. Lynn
“Reading in bed can be heaven, assuming you can get just the right amount of light on the page and aren’t prone to spilling your coffee or cognac on the sheets.” - Stephen King
“Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?” - Jean Kerr
"I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon." - Ronald Reagan
"He was my cream, and I was his coffee - And when you poured us together, it was something." - Josephine Baker
"I have measured out my life with coffee spoons." - T.S. Eliot
“Without my morning coffee, I’m just like a dried-up piece of goat.” - Johann Sebastian Bach
“The powers of a man’s mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee he drinks.” - Sir James Mackintosh
“If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.” - Abraham Lincoln
“I’ll read my books and I’ll drink coffee and I’ll listen to music, and I’ll bolt the door.” - J.D. Salinger
“Kids are meeting in coffee shops and basements figuring out what’s unsustainable in their communities. That’s the future.” - Ian Somerhalder
"You can’t have a decent food culture without a decent coffee culture: the two things grow up together.” - Adam Gopnik
"Why, yes, I could start my day without coffee. But I like being able to remember things like how to say words and put on pants." - Nanea Hoffman
"I sometimes get excited at night thinking of the coffee I’ll get to drink in the morning. Coffee is reason to wake up. There are other reasons, of course. But coffee is the incentive, at the very least." - Annie Clark
“Coffee connects us in so many ways–to each other, to our senses, and to the earth that supports the coffee trees.” - Rohan Marley
“I’m not one of those people who wakes up and thinks, ‘Bring on the day!’ I have to have about seven pints of coffee before I’m even remotely awake.” - Stacey London
"Television is not real life. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs." - Charles J. Sykes
“What on earth could be more luxurious than a sofa, a book, and a cup of coffee?” - Anthony Trollope
“To do good work one must eat well, be well housed, have one’s fling from time to time, smoke one’s pipe, and drink one’s coffee in peace.” - Vincent Van Gogh
“I’ll quit coffee. It won’t be easy drinking my Baileys straight, but I’ll get used to it. It’ll still be the best part of waking up.” - Megan Mullally
"Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second." - Edward Abbey
"It’s when you look over the top of your coffee cup that you can smile at life." - Anthony T. Hincks
“I’m going to start measuring the complexity of coding tasks in coffee cups. ‘This was a five-espresso algorithm.'”
“Like most of the world’s population I’m into coffee, but in a properly big and important way. My perfect weekend would start with a pint of coffee.” - Jimmy Carr
"I like instant gratification. It's like instant coffee, only it won't keep you up at night." - Jarod Kintz
"I like instant gratification. It's like instant coffee, only it won't keep you up at night." - Jarod Kintz
“I can’t stop drinking the coffee. I stop drinking the coffee, I stop doing the standing, and the walking, and the words-putting-into-sentences doing.” - Lorelai Gilmore
“We want to do a lot of stuff. We’re not in great shape. We didn’t get a good night’s sleep. We’re a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.” - Jerry Seinfeld
“I’d never met coffee that wasn’t wonderful. It was just a matter of how wonderful it was.” - Laurell K. Hamilton
“No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee’s frothy goodness.” - Sheik Abd-al-Kadir
“Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.” - Terry Pratchett
“It doesn’t matter where you’re from – or how you feel… There’s always peace in a strong cup of coffee.” - Gabriel Bá
"It’s amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee." - Donna Favors
“When traveling with someone, take large does of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee.” - Helen Hayes
“I am a coffee fanatic. Once you go to proper coffee, you can’t go back. You cannot go back.” - Hugh Laurie
“Coffee which makes the politician wise, and see through all things with his half-shut eyes.” - Alexander Pope
“My dream is to have a house on the beach, even just a little shack somewhere so I can wake up, have coffee, look at dolphins, be quiet and breathe the air.” - Christina Applegate
“A cup of coffee–real coffee–home-browned, home ground, home made, that comes to you dark as a hazel-eye, but changes to a golden bronze as you temper it with cream that never cheated, but was real cream from its birth, thick, tenderly yellow, perfectly sweet, neither lumpy nor frothing on the Java: such a cup of coffee is a match for twenty blue devils and will exorcise them all.” - Henry Ward Beecher
“Coffee is a lot more than just a drink; it’s something happening. Not as in hip, but like an event, a place to be, but not like a location, but like somewhere within yourself. It gives you time, but not actual hours or minutes, but a chance to be, like be yourself, and have a second cup.” - Gertrude Stein
“If I could just find one person who I felt that way about—the way I feel about coffee—then I think I’d be in a content relationship.” - Taylor Swift
"Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break." - Earl Wilson
“It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.” - Dave Barry
“My couch is coffee-colored. I can thank Starbucks and clumsiness for that.” - Jarod Kintz
“This left me alone to solve the coffee problem—a sort of catch-22, as in order to think straight I need caffeine, and in order to make that happen I need to think straight.” - David Sedaris
“I was taken by the power that savoring a simple cup of coffee can have to connect people and create community.” - Howard Schultz
"Coffee, unless it is very good and made by somebody else, is pretty intolerable at any time." - Iris Murdoch
“We busy ladies need our coffee fix in the morning. My day doesn’t really start until I’ve had my Starbucks latte.” - Heidi Klum
