Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
“Close Friend Did Not Make Me A Bridesmaid But Expects Me To Help Because The Bridesmaids Will Not”
Walter Winchell, a famous American radio host and columnist of the mid-20th century, once said: “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” And indeed, true friendship is revealed precisely in difficult and challenging situations. By the way, ironically, only one person actually came to Winchell’s funeral – his own daughter…
But our story today, from the user u/Key_Classroom_22, is a classic example of when one friend is always ready to come to other people’s aid, but it turns out that these other people are in fact far from always ready to do the same for them. However, let’s take everything in order and simply read on.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
The author of the post has a friend who is getting married soon, and she expected to be invited to be her MOH or at least a bridesmaid
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
However, the bride-to-be skipped her over for a bridesmaid spot, claiming that was mostly because of the author’s upcoming surgery appointed to the same time
Image credits: Key_Classroom_22
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Meanwhile, the bride-to-be keeps asking the author to help her with various wedding prep instead of all the bridesmaids
Image credits: Key_Classroom_22
The author feels bitter and is actually in two minds over agreeing or not to help her further
So, the Original Poster (OP) says that she has a friend who is soon getting married, and our heroine, not without reason, expected that she would be made, if not the maid of honor, then at least a bridesmaid. She had been counting on and hoping for this joyful experience because, as she herself admits, she no longer has any close friends who are getting married.
But then the day came when the bride-to-be announced who her bridesmaids would be – and our heroine was not among them! The friend explained rather confusingly that the thing was that the OP was planning a surgery on about the same days, so she was afraid that this would prevent her from performing her duties at the ceremony in the courthouse.
Moreover, the original poster was not even given a +1 – she was just an ordinary guest! At the same time, the friend continued to ask her for various services in the process of preparing for the wedding, for example, to come to her dress fitting or buying her courthouse dress. At the same time, as the bride-to-be herself said, neither MOH nor the bridesmaids had an opportunity to show up there.
The author agreed and showed up both times – but she was bitter and offended each time. And now the woman is seriously considering the option of simply refusing the next time her friend asks. What’s more, she might not even show up at the wedding, the OP ponders. However, the author is still worried that such behavior will look petty on her part – and she decided to ask the netizens for advice.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
“It seems to me that these two women simply put different meanings into the very concept of ‘friendship,’” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment about this case. “While the bride, apparently, expects her friends to help her with her own things, her friend is simply a kind and sympathetic person, always ready to help.”
“On the other hand, it is precisely these human qualities that some people often take advantage of – and sometimes openly overuse their responsiveness. So here, by and large, only the author should decide – if she wants to help her friend, and likes to help – then let her help, without taking any offense at her choice of bridesmaids.”
“If she thinks that the bride’s decision is a direct insult to her, let her politely refuse help. Or, on the contrary, she can talk directly to the bride-to-be, explaining how her decision was offensive. If their friendship is real, such a conversation will definitely not hurt it. If it’s not real – then what is the point of such a friendship at all?” Irina ponders.
People’s opinions in the comments were also divided. Most responders believed that the OP’s friend is simply taking advantage of her, and urged our heroine to refuse any help in wedding preparations, directly or under some plausible pretext. Some people, pitying the author, still praised her for being a kind and noble person. And which point of view do you, our dear readers, lean more towards?
People in the comments mostly supported the author and praised her for being a kind person – so much so that the friend has been taking advantage of her
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Poll Question
Total votes ·
Thanks! Check out the results:
Total votes ·
Newsletter
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
sweet emotion 9 months ago
OP should tell her "friend" these exact words : "Not my circus, not my monkeys." (implied insult intended).
Gen X Feral 9 months ago
She should have picked her bridesmaids more wisely if the ones she picked won't step up and help. Not OPs circus or her monkeys, let her have a miserable wedding with bridesmaids that don't gaf.
BrownEyedPanda 8 months ago
The bride-to-be sounds like a user and a loser. OP is better off repeatedly telling her "I'm not available," until it sinks in or she uninvites OP, which would be a blessing. The fact that her own bridal party doesn't want to help speaks volumes.
sweet emotion 9 months ago
OP should tell her "friend" these exact words : "Not my circus, not my monkeys." (implied insult intended).
Gen X Feral 9 months ago
She should have picked her bridesmaids more wisely if the ones she picked won't step up and help. Not OPs circus or her monkeys, let her have a miserable wedding with bridesmaids that don't gaf.
BrownEyedPanda 8 months ago
The bride-to-be sounds like a user and a loser. OP is better off repeatedly telling her "I'm not available," until it sinks in or she uninvites OP, which would be a blessing. The fact that her own bridal party doesn't want to help speaks volumes.
You May Like “Spiritual Awakening”: 49 People Who Canceled Their Wedding Last Minute Explain What Happened Bridesmaid's Awful Wedding 'Prank' Backfires, She's Begging For Forgiveness As Bride Cuts Her Off Guy Refuses To Accept Break-Up With GF After Going On A Romantic Trip With A Female Friend
Gabija Palšytė
Denis Krotovas
Indrė Lukošiūtė
Related on Bored Panda
39
6