Childfree Woman Wonders If She’s A Jerk For Standing By Her Principles And Making Her Coworker Miss Her Kid’s Soccer Game
A healthy work-life balance is something that many people strive for. But the truth is, creating a perfect schedule is challenging. It’s even harder for working parents, who want to be there for their children and watch them grow. Yet, having kids isn’t a free pass to get out of work commitments you prefer not to do.
One woman was asked by her coworker to cover an evening call at work so she could attend her kid’s soccer game. The author of this post had a volleyball match that night and refused, saying that her out-of-work activities are not less important just because she chose to be childfree. The colleague scoffed at her, claiming this was a “super messed up” thing to do.
The woman turned to the moral philosophers of the internet, the AITA subreddit, asking whether she was in the wrong for thinking that others should value her personal life choices. Have a read through the Redditor’s post and let us know what you think about her decision in the comments.
This Redditor turned to the AITA subreddit for advice after refusing to cover for her coworker so she could go to her kid’s soccer game
Image credits: Maxpixel (not the actual photo)
Image credits: [deleted]
As of this day, the post has amassed more than 17K upvotes and more than 2.2K comments. The vast majority of Redditors sided with the author, deciding she was in no way acting like a jerk in this situation. People mentioned that her boss needed to remember that she had already taken two previous shifts and should not have been asked to work in the first place.
While many believe that today women can do pretty much what they want with their lives, there’s still a lot of stigma to being childfree by choice. Our society views parenting as one of the key factors to finding fulfillment and meaning in life. Meanwhile, determining to remain childless raises many questions and is often viewed unfavorably.
It seems that the number of adults deciding to remain childfree keeps growing each year. Researchers from Michigan State University decided to study how they feel about their life choices. Almost 1000 people participated in the study, where scientists examined “how childfree individuals differ from parents and other types of non-parents in life satisfaction, political ideology, and personality,” and to see whether they are “viewed as an outgroup”.
“There’s been a lot of talk recently about declining fertility rates in the United States and around the world, and at the same time, more and more people are being open about their choice not to have kids,” Jennifer Watling Neal, Ph.D., one of the study’s researchers, told Verywell Mind. “We really wanted to understand these child-free people a little bit better.”
People were asked a series of questions: whether they have or ever have had biological or adopted children, whether they plan to have or adopt children in the future, and whether they wish they had or could have children. The study found that over a quarter of Michigan adults identified themselves as childfree.
“We find no differences in life satisfaction and limited differences in personality traits between childfree individuals and parents, not-yet-parents, or childless individuals,” the researchers revealed.
In fact, people who chose not to have kids “were more liberal than parents”. Also, those who wish to be parents or those who aren’t able to have children felt “substantially less warm toward childfree individuals than childfree individuals felt toward each other.”
“People are equally satisfied with life regardless of their reproductive choices, and that makes sense that people are making the decisions that are right for them,” Watling Neal said.
People were completely on the woman’s side, deciding she’s NTA in this situation
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NTA. If women have kids then it's their responsibility and they shouldn't expect childless people to sacrifice their time just because they have no kids. Go away!
*If PEOPLE have kids; this should not all fall on the mothers. I suspect that's part of the problem here.
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Even this might be missing the biggest point, which I'm baffled I had to scroll down so long to find one person saying it: the boss is the a*****e if they asked these two whether they could do some impromptu thing after hours, and neither of them felt they could say no to the boss. So then they warred with each other. Why is no one in the office walking around gossiping about the boss? Meetings can be moved and it obviously sounded like this was unplanned, since both the women already had plans. The mother shouldn't have had to last minute dissapoint her child, which can be a big thing for them to look to the stands and see their parent who said they'd show up is missing. And 1000% agree, single people don't need to justify a damn thing to say no.
Maybe dad was working to or taking the car to oil change or the other kid to thier game. MOMS R NOT INFAILABLE
To be clear-this is all in jest so please don't be offended. While scrolling through this very serious comment section, I read yours as "MOMS R NOT INFLATABLE" and now I can't stop thinking abt what an inflatable mom would be. Do you just blow her up as needed? Is she fire, water, and puncture proof? Is she only conscious while inflated? Do you carry her in the glove compartment of your car or does she come with her own carrying case? Do you have to carry her clothes separately or do her clothes inflate and deflate with her? Carrying them separately seems like it would cause a lot of awkward moments for inflatable mom during both inflation and deflation, though I suppose inflation would be the worst of the two. You could save so much money sneaking her into theme parks/concerts/on flights. Would an inflatable mom be on the TSA okay list for carry on or would you need to check her? So many questions! I hope someone gets a laugh from whatever this crazy brain vomit was. I had fun lol
Studies show, in the US, that this is often not the case. It's often the case that men are doing what they like doing while moms are doing the childcare and housework, even if they both work the same number of hours. But no, moms are not infallible.
Once society expected marriage before making children. Now largely we are told as long as adults are behaving with consent it is all ok. If it's the later then don't expect men to be involved in the day to day in all circumstances.
I have never heard stories about men wanting other men to sacrifice free time for their children. Shall we see if we can find some stories?
When my coworker's project blew up, he was the only one on a team of 4 that didn`t have to babysit product at our plant in Korea, because he had custody of his daughter every other weekend. Our boss shuttled the rest of us in, travel on the weekends and 2 weeks on-site. Meanwhile he's getting credit for our projects by merely presenting our work. Those 4 months sucked and I was happy to be transferred just as my 4th trip ended.
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No b***h. YTA here stevef for expecting a dad to not see his daughter in this case. Regardless of circumstances, Courts are biased against dads still, and largely assume the mother is always right. The only thing maybe wrong here is how your boss handled "credit", but you just seem whiny here so that can be written off. Work is work b***h. Don't like it? Find a new job bro.
Not in my experience. I see younger generations of dads doing alot more including taking leave to be primary carer. Younger mothers just seem to be more entitled.
Anecdotal evidence isn't evidence. Studies don't bear out your experiences.
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I bet in ur house its always ur husbands or ur kids fault never urs.
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Although parents do have to do a juggling act with their work/life balance, it's unfair the boss projected the idea one's plan takes priority over the other due to one having kids.
You are right, its not anyone else problem about covering shifts for people with kids. I was blessed that my Sons father understood my mandatory overtime every Saturday morning 6:00-10:00am. Both sides need to stop acting like ones events and time is more important than the others. Equally important to each person, parents need to realize just because a person doesn't have kids doesn't mean they are free to cover a shift. Again, how we speak and respect one another is the key, .
It wouldn't have been so bad but the last two evenings someone had to work late she took the late evenings to accommodate the mother. She had a game herself this time and just wasn't willing. She is always willing when she is free.
Only to an extent, because circumstances change. I was babysitting for a mother with young twins, whose partner suddenly had a catastrophic cardiac arrest. Or her partner can leave her leaving her adrift, however well she had planned her responsibilities.
That's an emergency and you'd have to be king of the A-holes not to recognise that people in an emergency (not just mothers, not just parents) need help. This was a hobby - no one's life or life circumstances were in any danger from missing a soccer game.
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So the childless shouldn't expect the taxes of the child to pay for their old age pension. Because it was the sacrifice of the parents that raised the child? Oh an in war we shouldn't expect single men to go to the front 1st so that less children loose fathers. No Titanic type children and women 1st either.
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Childless people can’t possibly relate to full time parents
We don’t want to relate to you. Go away!
I chose not to have kids. NOT SORRY.
Yep, Sneeze geez, just another breeder wanting everyone else to do the work for their stupid choices.
My point exactly. If you can't live with your lifestyle choices it is not up to others who've been through parenthood and done ot tough just to be expected to go back and do it all again because of your lack of coping.
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Remember that the people who will look after you when you're old and can't wipe your own a**e will be the children of 'breeders'.
If I ever get to that point, my younger sister can do the job of wiping my ass perfectly fine, thank you very much, the same way my aunt took care of her sister for years when she had ovarian cancer. No breeding required on either of our parts. People don't automatically need to have children to have people in their lives they know will love and care for them when they can't care for themselves. Also, there's no guarantee your kids will even *want* to take care of you, let alone have the time or financial means to provide care to an aging parent, at which point you just become a burden on them even if you don't mean to be. Have kids if you want, go nuts, but don't act as if the rest of us will be completely out of options when we're older, or that having kids 100% guarantees you a secure, happy retirement.
I think her point was that without "breeders" there won't be any future generations. You exist because your parents are "breeders".
And some of those children of breeders are going to choose not to be breeders themselves. Remember that, Rebecca. Do not chastise the people wiping your butt who are childfree.
Oh, and I did have a child. I love my child who is adult now. But I did not chastise my childfree coworkers nor make them do my work. My mother is 94 years old and walks with a walker but she wipes her own butt.
For money that they CHOOSE TO VOLUNTIER TO EARN. NOT CUZ IR KIDS R SO SWEET LMMFAO
Right?! It's not my problem that I made the choice to use protection because being a parent is not my idea of a good time, and prioritizing my own needs and desires (and those of my partner) is important. Why should we have to pick up the slack for a choice YOU made when we specifically made the opposite choice so we WOULDN'T have to do that? Also I'm a full time disabled person. Caring for myself is like being a parent while also being constantly sick and injured. I understand better than you think, smeez geez.
I've gotten pregnant 3 times while using "protection". You and I made the same choice until I had a medical condition and the doctor said my only hope of a cure was pregnancy. I had 3 children while making the same decision that you were so smart to make. Or luckier. Disabled as well. Not saying your needs/desires are less important than any parent's but... You looking down from your high horse? No.
It's extra funny cuz when they say this they reveal themselves to be a terrible parent themselves. Way to go Sneeze heh...
Right! Other people kids are not our problem. Their kids should have no barring on how the work place is conducted.
People who always play the parent card to come in late and/or never work late clearly have no respect for others' lives. Just because someone doesn't have children, that doesn't mean they don't have family and/or other responsibilities, it's selfish to expect them to ALWAYS pick up the slack due to your life choices. I believe in supporting working moms, but it's not like she was refusing to cover for an emergency or once in a lifetime event. Maybe the parent should have back up person who can take their kid to extracurricular activities interfere with their workplace responsibilities.
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Raised 3 productive, well adjusted kids. Never late, rarely absent. Call me a breeder if you like, but who do you think is going to be wiping your bottoms in the nursing homes? Unhackable AI units? Who's going to be running cyber security then? Oh, wait, you'll be in the metasphere. See previous. You all benefit from the UNTAXED LABOR "breeders" perform for you in raising the next generation of citizens (hopefully civilized). I'm sorry if you can't appreciate it. Go complain to your parents. I'm sure _they'll_ appreciate it :/
Clown Jae nailed it. "But who's going to take care of you when you're old?" is an absolutely terrible argument. Besides, there's no guarantee that child will be able to care for you even if they wanted to. What would you do if you had a kid with a catastrophic disability that required someone to look after them their entire life? There goes that whole retirement plan out the window, and probably taking with it any hope of being financially independent enough to retire.
So many seniors now wondering where their grown children are. Most of them were stay at home moms. So that ass wiping comment has no weight. Who is to say the childless worker won't outlive or will even need it? My grandmother 95 years old takes care of her self
Having kids with the purpose of them taking care of you and wipe your ass when you get old makes you an extremely selfish bastard. That's not love, that's transactional.
If I did have kids, I wouldn't have them to wipe fashy assies. Children are their own people, they belong to no one else, even the parents, who actually are just as bad. At least I'm not hurting anyone by bringing them into a s**t society.
In my country, there's no such thing as a "working mother", just "a mother", because most mothers work. So I cannot see how this could be a reason to claim any preferential treatment. Your kids are your responsibility, not anyone else's. Unless it's a matter of kid's health or safety.
Because USA do not have parental leave, or any kind of support for working mothers, and as a result most of them essentially penalized when they decide to have children, most of them not only are the primary care giver but also tend to do the majority part of house work after coming back from work.
Load More Replies... You said it tho " when THEY decide to have kids" it's a CHOICE n choices have consequences PERIOD
Yes the usa does have maternity leave. Not sure where you heard different. You get 6 to 8 weeks. Which is paid time. I think you only get a percentage tho. Why would we give females support for working when theres planet of single fathers who figure it out on their own. They're not looking for handouts. We domt have a socialist country. Your kids are not the company's issue.
Dads deserve more time to bond with their new baby too. 6-8 weeks may mean mom is physically recovered from giving birth, but it's not fair to the baby to make the parents go back to work so soon. Here in Canada, the parents get a year of leave to divide how they see fit. It's paid for by employment insurance premiums. What's wrong with that?
So I'm assuming you won't want to collect social security income after you retire?
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In America we believe it takes a village to raise a child. I would hate to live where you are.
Do we? I'd love to hear all about your village and how they managed to lose their idiot.
B******t. It takes dedicated parents. I am in NO way responsible for any breeders kids. Put me in the mix, you are not going to like how I deal with your little shits.
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Exactly they are our responsibility and they are more important then a job so …. Get used to filling in or find a new job
I apologize if I misunderstood this, but are you really saying people need to cover for working mothers or find a new job?
Find a real man who will support you and the child if you want to be a stay at home mom
Wow Polly you're 💯% one of the biggest AH's!! F*ck you and your egotistical entitlement!! 🖕Ffs, according to your logic a person without kids should be responsible for basically running the world? 🤔 Because what you say means that anytime a child has ANYthing going on (from a simple non-tournament level game to being in the hospital) that every non-parent in the world should drop and cancel any and all plans to accommodate every child's needs in this world?!! That would basically allow parents to work less than part time because kids ALWAYS have s*it going on! Let me guess, you also demand to be PAID for the time you don't have to work either...am I right!!? 😒 Jeezus. 😡 Also, if OP canceled HER plans, an entire team is affected...not just her missing a game. The working mother is missing a game, but at least the game will go on w/o her. 🤷♀️ Fill in for a parent for emergencies (sick, hospitalized) or ACTUAL important events (graduations, championship/tournament, etc).
Wow. You're a genius. Hey everybody, did you hear that? Just find a "real man". Apparently if you partner doesnt make enough to easily care for 3+ people he loses his "man card". Grow up.
Little Timmy has two parents, and he won't melt into the ground if one of them misses one of his soccer games.
As if that matters. It still isn’t the coworker’s responsibility.
True, and if I read correctly, she already had filled in 2 other times previously for others. So therefore she is not wrong for not wanting to do it a 3rd time when she has plans of her own to do as well
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Said like a true a*****e.... This exactly why USA do not have parental leaves, universal healthcare, rail against state provided reproductive services.... Because "because I'm not responsable for their choices" or others selfish irrationally, when we help mother the whole society benefits from having more productive members....
B******T ITS THE PARENTS WHO THINK THEY R SPECIAL FOR HAVING KIDS N THE REST OF US OWE U? GTFOH!
Do you think you should get anything pay for by the taxpayer in your old age? They are the ones making that taxpayer. If you think you should get the goodies but never help out. You are the one that seems to act entitled.
Some mothers are not benefitting society when they raise their children into bad adults. The children may end up breeders but if mom was not a good mother, they did not learn good parenting skills from her. Attending games is nice but it is what happens in the home that matters.
As mentioned above, we were not hatched by pods. So the child has parents and grandparents. If this mom has no other person in the child's life, does the police take the child into protective custody should she become unable to get them in an emergency? My question would be where is there a law that every child be involved in sports. I, nor my siblings played in sports. My sons were not interested in sports either. They wanted to play with their gaming systems. Extracurricular activities come with sacrifices, but it is not the co-worker's job to be on that conversation to someone's other commitments, just their own.
He sure has two parents... if mommy and daddy are not living eventually together, that doesn't change the fact, that little Timmy has two parents.
*Biologically* everyone has two parents. But how would you get a sperm bank to attend a kid's sports event? What if one parent has died? What if one parent is serving with the military and is stationed far away?
Things come up in life, get use to it cuz life isn't always peaches and cream. Sounds like he gets to miss the game for the day, there will be more. Stop making it everyone else's problems. She even said she's covered before, and if she didn't have her plans scheduled she would have gladly done it. That's above and beyond in itself
Even if he doesn't the co-worker isn't his parent not her responsibility her choice to have kids if said kid ain't sick or dying that has NOTHING to do with me...... a complete stranger!
So parents never die when their kids are little??? I believe there is a name for this? Oh yea ORPHAN! 🙄
Tricia, if the kid was an orphan, their mother wouldn't be using them as an excuse to skip out on work shifts. Think about it. And even if the kid only has one parent, he can still get a ride to the game with a teammate's family.
Not necessarily has 2 parents. My Dad was killed when I was 2 years old. Mom never remarried, worked full time as a teacher for 45 years, raised 4 kids plus took custody of her grandson when she was in her late 60's, he was 3 years old . Not once did I ever hear her complain. Key here is she became a teacher to be on the same schedule as her children! Now she's 92 just diagnosed with breast cancer and has Alzheimers dementia. I've been taking care of her for several years. Mum with the child was in the wrong. Her turn for the OT.
My husband missed games but I don't remember why he missed them. I don't think he was working because games were on weekends. I had to be "dad" sometimes because my husband had other commitments. I had never BBQed before because my husband loves doing that at home. One Saturday, only mothers showed up for the children's baseball games for the snack shack duty so I ended up BBQing for 4 hours because no dads showed up for the next BBQ shift either (they were 2 hours each). I got a lot of compliments because I agreed with customers to BBQ their orders exactly as they liked them. I was exhausted after 4 hours straight when a dad finally showed up for his "shift". It was a hot day. Thank goodness I had worn a straw hat with a large brim. All the other mothers refused to cook. You do what you have to do. It is what you signed up for when you both work and have a child or children. You have two jobs. You do both.
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You know NOTHING about "little Timmy", or his family". Are you just 12, or are you one of those p®!©ks who look down on people who have children?
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That’s true Beth but what if that was the only soccer game little Timmies working mother can go to or what if the short 18 years you get with your child go so fast that a mother deserves to see their child play
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People who don’t think it’s important clearly had parents who never disappointed them as children. Perhaps if they understood the agonising guilt placed on working parents, they might have more empathy or understanding for their fellow human beings.
From personal experience I had 3 children in a marriage (not by choice). 1. Birth control never worked for me wound up pregnant 2. He wanted children when I made it clear I didn't 3. Don't believe in abortions. Couldn't get tubes tied because I was too young (doctors kept telling me). There dad was someone I thought I knew and well now I dont). Finding a job with decent hours where I can be a parent interacting in all my kids life equally was impossible. One job I worked was basically when the game is over you can go home. Daycare where I live don't stay open 24hrs and aren't affordable on my pay with 3 kids and bills. I stayed did as i was asked (late games hrs were 6am-3am next day) Long story short I had to quit a job because my family (foster parent) turned their back on me, basically said hey we want more money to watch the kids or hey i dont want to and government said I made too much to get daycare assistance. Shortly after I loss my car, my place, and then my children.
NTA. If women have kids then it's their responsibility and they shouldn't expect childless people to sacrifice their time just because they have no kids. Go away!
*If PEOPLE have kids; this should not all fall on the mothers. I suspect that's part of the problem here.
Load More Replies... Even this might be missing the biggest point, which I'm baffled I had to scroll down so long to find one person saying it: the boss is the a*****e if they asked these two whether they could do some impromptu thing after hours, and neither of them felt they could say no to the boss. So then they warred with each other. Why is no one in the office walking around gossiping about the boss? Meetings can be moved and it obviously sounded like this was unplanned, since both the women already had plans. The mother shouldn't have had to last minute dissapoint her child, which can be a big thing for them to look to the stands and see their parent who said they'd show up is missing. And 1000% agree, single people don't need to justify a damn thing to say no.
Maybe dad was working to or taking the car to oil change or the other kid to thier game. MOMS R NOT INFAILABLE
To be clear-this is all in jest so please don't be offended. While scrolling through this very serious comment section, I read yours as "MOMS R NOT INFLATABLE" and now I can't stop thinking abt what an inflatable mom would be. Do you just blow her up as needed? Is she fire, water, and puncture proof? Is she only conscious while inflated? Do you carry her in the glove compartment of your car or does she come with her own carrying case? Do you have to carry her clothes separately or do her clothes inflate and deflate with her? Carrying them separately seems like it would cause a lot of awkward moments for inflatable mom during both inflation and deflation, though I suppose inflation would be the worst of the two. You could save so much money sneaking her into theme parks/concerts/on flights. Would an inflatable mom be on the TSA okay list for carry on or would you need to check her? So many questions! I hope someone gets a laugh from whatever this crazy brain vomit was. I had fun lol
Studies show, in the US, that this is often not the case. It's often the case that men are doing what they like doing while moms are doing the childcare and housework, even if they both work the same number of hours. But no, moms are not infallible.
Once society expected marriage before making children. Now largely we are told as long as adults are behaving with consent it is all ok. If it's the later then don't expect men to be involved in the day to day in all circumstances.
I have never heard stories about men wanting other men to sacrifice free time for their children. Shall we see if we can find some stories?
When my coworker's project blew up, he was the only one on a team of 4 that didn`t have to babysit product at our plant in Korea, because he had custody of his daughter every other weekend. Our boss shuttled the rest of us in, travel on the weekends and 2 weeks on-site. Meanwhile he's getting credit for our projects by merely presenting our work. Those 4 months sucked and I was happy to be transferred just as my 4th trip ended.
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No b***h. YTA here stevef for expecting a dad to not see his daughter in this case. Regardless of circumstances, Courts are biased against dads still, and largely assume the mother is always right. The only thing maybe wrong here is how your boss handled "credit", but you just seem whiny here so that can be written off. Work is work b***h. Don't like it? Find a new job bro.
Not in my experience. I see younger generations of dads doing alot more including taking leave to be primary carer. Younger mothers just seem to be more entitled.
Anecdotal evidence isn't evidence. Studies don't bear out your experiences.
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I bet in ur house its always ur husbands or ur kids fault never urs.
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Although parents do have to do a juggling act with their work/life balance, it's unfair the boss projected the idea one's plan takes priority over the other due to one having kids.
You are right, its not anyone else problem about covering shifts for people with kids. I was blessed that my Sons father understood my mandatory overtime every Saturday morning 6:00-10:00am. Both sides need to stop acting like ones events and time is more important than the others. Equally important to each person, parents need to realize just because a person doesn't have kids doesn't mean they are free to cover a shift. Again, how we speak and respect one another is the key, .
It wouldn't have been so bad but the last two evenings someone had to work late she took the late evenings to accommodate the mother. She had a game herself this time and just wasn't willing. She is always willing when she is free.
Only to an extent, because circumstances change. I was babysitting for a mother with young twins, whose partner suddenly had a catastrophic cardiac arrest. Or her partner can leave her leaving her adrift, however well she had planned her responsibilities.
That's an emergency and you'd have to be king of the A-holes not to recognise that people in an emergency (not just mothers, not just parents) need help. This was a hobby - no one's life or life circumstances were in any danger from missing a soccer game.
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So the childless shouldn't expect the taxes of the child to pay for their old age pension. Because it was the sacrifice of the parents that raised the child? Oh an in war we shouldn't expect single men to go to the front 1st so that less children loose fathers. No Titanic type children and women 1st either.
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Childless people can’t possibly relate to full time parents
We don’t want to relate to you. Go away!
I chose not to have kids. NOT SORRY.
Yep, Sneeze geez, just another breeder wanting everyone else to do the work for their stupid choices.
My point exactly. If you can't live with your lifestyle choices it is not up to others who've been through parenthood and done ot tough just to be expected to go back and do it all again because of your lack of coping.
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Remember that the people who will look after you when you're old and can't wipe your own a**e will be the children of 'breeders'.
If I ever get to that point, my younger sister can do the job of wiping my ass perfectly fine, thank you very much, the same way my aunt took care of her sister for years when she had ovarian cancer. No breeding required on either of our parts. People don't automatically need to have children to have people in their lives they know will love and care for them when they can't care for themselves. Also, there's no guarantee your kids will even *want* to take care of you, let alone have the time or financial means to provide care to an aging parent, at which point you just become a burden on them even if you don't mean to be. Have kids if you want, go nuts, but don't act as if the rest of us will be completely out of options when we're older, or that having kids 100% guarantees you a secure, happy retirement.
I think her point was that without "breeders" there won't be any future generations. You exist because your parents are "breeders".
And some of those children of breeders are going to choose not to be breeders themselves. Remember that, Rebecca. Do not chastise the people wiping your butt who are childfree.
Oh, and I did have a child. I love my child who is adult now. But I did not chastise my childfree coworkers nor make them do my work. My mother is 94 years old and walks with a walker but she wipes her own butt.
For money that they CHOOSE TO VOLUNTIER TO EARN. NOT CUZ IR KIDS R SO SWEET LMMFAO
Right?! It's not my problem that I made the choice to use protection because being a parent is not my idea of a good time, and prioritizing my own needs and desires (and those of my partner) is important. Why should we have to pick up the slack for a choice YOU made when we specifically made the opposite choice so we WOULDN'T have to do that? Also I'm a full time disabled person. Caring for myself is like being a parent while also being constantly sick and injured. I understand better than you think, smeez geez.
I've gotten pregnant 3 times while using "protection". You and I made the same choice until I had a medical condition and the doctor said my only hope of a cure was pregnancy. I had 3 children while making the same decision that you were so smart to make. Or luckier. Disabled as well. Not saying your needs/desires are less important than any parent's but... You looking down from your high horse? No.
It's extra funny cuz when they say this they reveal themselves to be a terrible parent themselves. Way to go Sneeze heh...
Right! Other people kids are not our problem. Their kids should have no barring on how the work place is conducted.
People who always play the parent card to come in late and/or never work late clearly have no respect for others' lives. Just because someone doesn't have children, that doesn't mean they don't have family and/or other responsibilities, it's selfish to expect them to ALWAYS pick up the slack due to your life choices. I believe in supporting working moms, but it's not like she was refusing to cover for an emergency or once in a lifetime event. Maybe the parent should have back up person who can take their kid to extracurricular activities interfere with their workplace responsibilities.
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Raised 3 productive, well adjusted kids. Never late, rarely absent. Call me a breeder if you like, but who do you think is going to be wiping your bottoms in the nursing homes? Unhackable AI units? Who's going to be running cyber security then? Oh, wait, you'll be in the metasphere. See previous. You all benefit from the UNTAXED LABOR "breeders" perform for you in raising the next generation of citizens (hopefully civilized). I'm sorry if you can't appreciate it. Go complain to your parents. I'm sure _they'll_ appreciate it :/
Clown Jae nailed it. "But who's going to take care of you when you're old?" is an absolutely terrible argument. Besides, there's no guarantee that child will be able to care for you even if they wanted to. What would you do if you had a kid with a catastrophic disability that required someone to look after them their entire life? There goes that whole retirement plan out the window, and probably taking with it any hope of being financially independent enough to retire.
So many seniors now wondering where their grown children are. Most of them were stay at home moms. So that ass wiping comment has no weight. Who is to say the childless worker won't outlive or will even need it? My grandmother 95 years old takes care of her self
Having kids with the purpose of them taking care of you and wipe your ass when you get old makes you an extremely selfish bastard. That's not love, that's transactional.
If I did have kids, I wouldn't have them to wipe fashy assies. Children are their own people, they belong to no one else, even the parents, who actually are just as bad. At least I'm not hurting anyone by bringing them into a s**t society.
In my country, there's no such thing as a "working mother", just "a mother", because most mothers work. So I cannot see how this could be a reason to claim any preferential treatment. Your kids are your responsibility, not anyone else's. Unless it's a matter of kid's health or safety.
Because USA do not have parental leave, or any kind of support for working mothers, and as a result most of them essentially penalized when they decide to have children, most of them not only are the primary care giver but also tend to do the majority part of house work after coming back from work.
Load More Replies... You said it tho " when THEY decide to have kids" it's a CHOICE n choices have consequences PERIOD
Yes the usa does have maternity leave. Not sure where you heard different. You get 6 to 8 weeks. Which is paid time. I think you only get a percentage tho. Why would we give females support for working when theres planet of single fathers who figure it out on their own. They're not looking for handouts. We domt have a socialist country. Your kids are not the company's issue.
Dads deserve more time to bond with their new baby too. 6-8 weeks may mean mom is physically recovered from giving birth, but it's not fair to the baby to make the parents go back to work so soon. Here in Canada, the parents get a year of leave to divide how they see fit. It's paid for by employment insurance premiums. What's wrong with that?
So I'm assuming you won't want to collect social security income after you retire?
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In America we believe it takes a village to raise a child. I would hate to live where you are.
Do we? I'd love to hear all about your village and how they managed to lose their idiot.
B******t. It takes dedicated parents. I am in NO way responsible for any breeders kids. Put me in the mix, you are not going to like how I deal with your little shits.
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Exactly they are our responsibility and they are more important then a job so …. Get used to filling in or find a new job
I apologize if I misunderstood this, but are you really saying people need to cover for working mothers or find a new job?
Find a real man who will support you and the child if you want to be a stay at home mom
Wow Polly you're 💯% one of the biggest AH's!! F*ck you and your egotistical entitlement!! 🖕Ffs, according to your logic a person without kids should be responsible for basically running the world? 🤔 Because what you say means that anytime a child has ANYthing going on (from a simple non-tournament level game to being in the hospital) that every non-parent in the world should drop and cancel any and all plans to accommodate every child's needs in this world?!! That would basically allow parents to work less than part time because kids ALWAYS have s*it going on! Let me guess, you also demand to be PAID for the time you don't have to work either...am I right!!? 😒 Jeezus. 😡 Also, if OP canceled HER plans, an entire team is affected...not just her missing a game. The working mother is missing a game, but at least the game will go on w/o her. 🤷♀️ Fill in for a parent for emergencies (sick, hospitalized) or ACTUAL important events (graduations, championship/tournament, etc).
Wow. You're a genius. Hey everybody, did you hear that? Just find a "real man". Apparently if you partner doesnt make enough to easily care for 3+ people he loses his "man card". Grow up.
Little Timmy has two parents, and he won't melt into the ground if one of them misses one of his soccer games.
As if that matters. It still isn’t the coworker’s responsibility.
True, and if I read correctly, she already had filled in 2 other times previously for others. So therefore she is not wrong for not wanting to do it a 3rd time when she has plans of her own to do as well
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Said like a true a*****e.... This exactly why USA do not have parental leaves, universal healthcare, rail against state provided reproductive services.... Because "because I'm not responsable for their choices" or others selfish irrationally, when we help mother the whole society benefits from having more productive members....
B******T ITS THE PARENTS WHO THINK THEY R SPECIAL FOR HAVING KIDS N THE REST OF US OWE U? GTFOH!
Do you think you should get anything pay for by the taxpayer in your old age? They are the ones making that taxpayer. If you think you should get the goodies but never help out. You are the one that seems to act entitled.
Some mothers are not benefitting society when they raise their children into bad adults. The children may end up breeders but if mom was not a good mother, they did not learn good parenting skills from her. Attending games is nice but it is what happens in the home that matters.
As mentioned above, we were not hatched by pods. So the child has parents and grandparents. If this mom has no other person in the child's life, does the police take the child into protective custody should she become unable to get them in an emergency? My question would be where is there a law that every child be involved in sports. I, nor my siblings played in sports. My sons were not interested in sports either. They wanted to play with their gaming systems. Extracurricular activities come with sacrifices, but it is not the co-worker's job to be on that conversation to someone's other commitments, just their own.
He sure has two parents... if mommy and daddy are not living eventually together, that doesn't change the fact, that little Timmy has two parents.
*Biologically* everyone has two parents. But how would you get a sperm bank to attend a kid's sports event? What if one parent has died? What if one parent is serving with the military and is stationed far away?
Things come up in life, get use to it cuz life isn't always peaches and cream. Sounds like he gets to miss the game for the day, there will be more. Stop making it everyone else's problems. She even said she's covered before, and if she didn't have her plans scheduled she would have gladly done it. That's above and beyond in itself
Even if he doesn't the co-worker isn't his parent not her responsibility her choice to have kids if said kid ain't sick or dying that has NOTHING to do with me...... a complete stranger!
So parents never die when their kids are little??? I believe there is a name for this? Oh yea ORPHAN! 🙄
Tricia, if the kid was an orphan, their mother wouldn't be using them as an excuse to skip out on work shifts. Think about it. And even if the kid only has one parent, he can still get a ride to the game with a teammate's family.
Not necessarily has 2 parents. My Dad was killed when I was 2 years old. Mom never remarried, worked full time as a teacher for 45 years, raised 4 kids plus took custody of her grandson when she was in her late 60's, he was 3 years old . Not once did I ever hear her complain. Key here is she became a teacher to be on the same schedule as her children! Now she's 92 just diagnosed with breast cancer and has Alzheimers dementia. I've been taking care of her for several years. Mum with the child was in the wrong. Her turn for the OT.
My husband missed games but I don't remember why he missed them. I don't think he was working because games were on weekends. I had to be "dad" sometimes because my husband had other commitments. I had never BBQed before because my husband loves doing that at home. One Saturday, only mothers showed up for the children's baseball games for the snack shack duty so I ended up BBQing for 4 hours because no dads showed up for the next BBQ shift either (they were 2 hours each). I got a lot of compliments because I agreed with customers to BBQ their orders exactly as they liked them. I was exhausted after 4 hours straight when a dad finally showed up for his "shift". It was a hot day. Thank goodness I had worn a straw hat with a large brim. All the other mothers refused to cook. You do what you have to do. It is what you signed up for when you both work and have a child or children. You have two jobs. You do both.
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You know NOTHING about "little Timmy", or his family". Are you just 12, or are you one of those p®!©ks who look down on people who have children?
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That’s true Beth but what if that was the only soccer game little Timmies working mother can go to or what if the short 18 years you get with your child go so fast that a mother deserves to see their child play
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People who don’t think it’s important clearly had parents who never disappointed them as children. Perhaps if they understood the agonising guilt placed on working parents, they might have more empathy or understanding for their fellow human beings.
From personal experience I had 3 children in a marriage (not by choice). 1. Birth control never worked for me wound up pregnant 2. He wanted children when I made it clear I didn't 3. Don't believe in abortions. Couldn't get tubes tied because I was too young (doctors kept telling me). There dad was someone I thought I knew and well now I dont). Finding a job with decent hours where I can be a parent interacting in all my kids life equally was impossible. One job I worked was basically when the game is over you can go home. Daycare where I live don't stay open 24hrs and aren't affordable on my pay with 3 kids and bills. I stayed did as i was asked (late games hrs were 6am-3am next day) Long story short I had to quit a job because my family (foster parent) turned their back on me, basically said hey we want more money to watch the kids or hey i dont want to and government said I made too much to get daycare assistance. Shortly after I loss my car, my place, and then my children.
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