“I Strictly Said No Kids”: Wedding Guest Ignores No Kids Rule, Is Offended When She’s Kicked Out
Interview With Author
Recently, a woman turned to the AITA community to ask if she crossed the line when she kicked out a friend from her wedding.
“I strictly said no kids at my wedding, & my really good friend decided to bring her 2 year old who is a biter!” the author wrote and added that her friend couldn’t get a sitter for the day. “Her husband recently left her and I feel terrible but her child was crying before my wedding while I was trying to have my makeup and hair get finished,” the author recounted.
While everyone was preparing for the ceremony, her friend’s baby kept crying in the background, which triggered the author, who had warned the guests that it was a no-kids wedding. What followed afterwards made everyone turn against the bride, who now wonders if she was wrong to react that way.
A bride wonders if she was wrong to kick out her dear friend from her childfree wedding because she brought her toddler who was crying all the time
Image credits: Emma Bauso (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Arwan Sutanto (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Honeslty_truly
Bored Panda reached out to the author of this story who wanted to remain anonymous and who told us that she’s been to many weddings for friends and family and seeing how some children can act during these special events, she decided to make her child-free. “Respectfully though,” the Redditor said.
“My first reaction was confusion,” the author said recounting the moment she heard the toddler crying during her wedding. “I really was just assuming it was her child screaming because I could tell by his cry. Once I had known it was her child for sure I was a little annoyed but understood since she said the sitter would be picking him up in 45min.”
Having said that, the author said that her wedding was absolutely beautiful and she had a wonderful night, and so did her now husband. “If I could change anything I wish I wouldn’t have been so stressed about preparing for this wedding and having anxiety. I wanted it to go perfectly because it’s something I’ve dreamed about since I was a little girl.”
The Redditor also said that having to ask a good friend to leave was hard. “I care about her but her child was way too disruptive and loud. If I have to be honest she doesn’t discipline her child causing my vowels to get disrupted.”
For people thinking of having a child-free wedding, the author’s advice would be “do it as I did, I planned my wedding 1 year in advance and sent the invitations out 6 months in advance.”
“This gives people the time to decide if they will be able to attend or not. I said specifically on the invitations ‘child-free, if you and your loved one are having trouble finding a sitter please contact me 24 hours in advance.’”
The reason she did this was “to reassure them that I still want them at my wedding and I will do everything I can to help with the sitter situation. My friend on the other hand didn’t do any of those things.”
Someone asked for more details about the whole situation and the author replied
Many people expressed their support and said that the bride did nothing wrong
Other people thought that the author was to blame in this situation and questioned the childfree wedding concept
I swear you could put "child free ceremony and reception" on an invite to a wedding ceremony in a BDSM dungeon followed by a reception at a swingers club while offering complementary sex workers and cocaine to your guests prior to a celebratory pre-honeymoon orgy and people would still still show up with their kids.
I really hate these "my kid's the exception" mentality of some parents. Their wedding, THEIR RULES !!!!!! Get over it.
Somehow, it's always the parents of the kids you wanted to exclude because they're horrible, screaming, violent brats.
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Childcare emergencies happen, but this guest should totally have contacted the bride, (or one of the bridesmaids, if she wanted to avoid stressing the bride) to explain, and ask for an exception. If an exception was made, the minute the kid made noise at the childfree ceremony, the mum should have taken him outside. Also, calling gives the host a chance to help find a solution. I've seen this happen from a friend-of-bridesmaid perspective, when childcare fell through at a couple of hour's notice. The mom called the MoH, and in under 15 minutes, the bridesmaids had lined up a teenager to babysit a three- or four-year-old in the Sunday School room so that the mum could attend the ceremony without the kid. The bride was paying £20K for her dream wedding, she was more than happy to pay £100 for an emergency sitter to keep it from being disrupted by a bored pre-schooler.
Yes to all of this. I was shocked that the mom didn't take her child out when he was fussing. That would be the normal thing to do at a wedding where children were allowed.
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I've posted this story a few times - We had a "child free" wedding. A good friend asked if she could bring her kids (3 of them under the age of 10). I said no, but had a funny feeling ... Day of the wedding we post a groomsman near the church door. Sure enough, here comes little Miss Entitled with the kids in tow. He told her she wasn't allowed to bring the kids. She tried to tell him that I had made an exception for her. He was like, "No ma'am, she didn't. You're the reason I'm standing here". I literally returned her gift and ended our friendship over it. I don't need people with no respect for my boundaries in my life.
No Kids, Mean No Kids! That is not hard to understand. Her and her husband-to-be's wedding, they set the rules. Don't like the rules, decline the invite. There, now isn't that simple?
This guest brought two disruptive children to the wedding - her child and herself.
Bride was NTA. The mam could have asked the kids dad to take their child for the day.
Not to excuse her behavior, but maybe the dad isn’t around at all anymore. Either way she should have respected bride’s child-free request whether it meant she attended the wedding or not.
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In panel 8, the Entitled one 'she gave me a hard time and said I'm as a*****e for not accepting her situation' Should have been thrown back at her as "I gave her a hard time for being an a**e for not accepting her situation" Come on, no grandparent to watch him (his or her side) the dad refused or was he being punished and not allowed? Not an aunt or uncle to step up? This is what teenagers do for cash, I can't believe there was no other solution. More she wouldn't accept her new situation and projecting her issues onto others. A class act friend would stay home and send her regrets or when the bride sent out some one to have the child leave, NOT lie and say that a babysitter was picking him up. Just go home and let her know your regrets through said someone who went to resolve it , not keep making poor choices that day and expecting others to be 'accepting' to what 'you' don't.
She said the kid was a biter. Several times. I think that may have had something to do with it.
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Got invited to a child-free wedding months ago due to limited seating (with the exception of the couple's kids), and one friend in our group asked us (the invitees) if she could bring her kid. Two of my other friends also have kids their own but they're ok with leaving them for the wedding, but this other one is pushing. In the end, she didn't bring the kid and realized later at the reception how bad it would be if she brought him with her.
No kids mean no kids. If you can't find a sitter than don't go to the wedding. It is not like she was a bridesmaid or anything like that so she should have skipped the wedding. The "friend" also showed after that she is not a good friend so her absence wouldn't have made a difference.
I understand that she doesn't want to miss the big day, but for Chrissake, if you kid can't stop crying, you are taking it home. Why put the bride AND a toddler under so much stress??
I would be so mad if I could hear a kid or baby during my wedding. Absolutely NOT it's a special day and you don't want that!
I do think blanket child-free rules for weddings are problematic when the bride and/or groom have younger siblings or kids themselves. But for guests - friends, distant cousins, colleagues - then it should be clear whether the kids are invited or excluded, just as it should be clear if the invite is for them alone or with a plus 1. In this instance, the friend either lied to the bridesmaid or was left down by the babysitter. It's possible if OP wasn't mad having seen the child whilst walking down the aisle, OP might have been less aware of the kid's squirming, but if the kid kept talking it is understandable that would have distracted during the ceremony. It comes down to the friend broke the no kids rule which resulted in the bride being distracted during the ceremony, so asking the friend to leave was fair. The friend should have left, with a message they couldn't stay because the babysitter let them down, before the ceremony started.
This 'friend only was doing her ways. Piling one poor choice on top of the others is quite an a**e move, then can't/won't accept her situation, but turns that statement around to the bride (sound familiar? look at panel# 8).
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Leave your hump dumpling crib lizard at home when an invitation states child free! Most people video their ceremony and don't need to pay for extra editing to remove the sounds of your screech demons.
Depends what you think a wedding is for - if it's a family celebration of two people making a public commitment to each other, then everyone from kids to great auntie Ethel should be there. If it's about creating a once in a lifetime 'event' - basically one person getting to be a princess for the day and paying a heck of a lot for everything to be perfect, then absolutely don't invite the kids.
Or maybe you just don't want to pay for every adult to bring 3 extra people?? As well as paying for other adults they've never met before on TOP of the usual +1?? Also at this point everyone else has already arranged childcare and allowing some kid in anyways is disrespectful to them. Also maybe the op just doesn't really like kids and strangers and so doesn't want them at her celebration lol, especially a kid from this two faced c**t. In my country it's pretty rare to have more than 30 guests because you don't go around inviting just anyone...
Load More Replies... yeah you are both POS, your friend should have left her kid with the dad I mean he left her but he is still his dad, and you because clearly you were being a bridezilla the fact of the matter is no one cares about your stupid wedding, but you so stop overreacting
Wow okay so, 1. Do you know where the father is? Are the two on good terms? 2. She's not a bridezilla.
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I mean...when I decided to have a "wedfing reception" for my 30th birthday (no ceremony or anything, just a fancy party with fancy cake and a dance floor) instead of saying "no kids," I hired an in-room sitter, made up a kids' table, and provided games and dollar store toys. My family in BOTH sides have done the same at big events since. I'm saying this not to say that the bride was wrong, but instead to point out that it's really RARE for there to be much planning for kids at an event like a wedding, and DEFINITELY none at one that says "no kids" on the invite, so your child is GOING to be a boil on everyone's bungholes because they're bored out of their minds! Why would you as a parent inflict that on YOURSELF, much less everyone else? When childcare falls through, PICK UP THE PHONE and call to say, "I can't make it because of this, so I'm calling to give you all my best and we'll get together when you have time and you can tell me all about it."
I swear you could put "child free ceremony and reception" on an invite to a wedding ceremony in a BDSM dungeon followed by a reception at a swingers club while offering complementary sex workers and cocaine to your guests prior to a celebratory pre-honeymoon orgy and people would still still show up with their kids.
I really hate these "my kid's the exception" mentality of some parents. Their wedding, THEIR RULES !!!!!! Get over it.
Somehow, it's always the parents of the kids you wanted to exclude because they're horrible, screaming, violent brats.
Load More Replies... Childcare emergencies happen, but this guest should totally have contacted the bride, (or one of the bridesmaids, if she wanted to avoid stressing the bride) to explain, and ask for an exception. If an exception was made, the minute the kid made noise at the childfree ceremony, the mum should have taken him outside. Also, calling gives the host a chance to help find a solution. I've seen this happen from a friend-of-bridesmaid perspective, when childcare fell through at a couple of hour's notice. The mom called the MoH, and in under 15 minutes, the bridesmaids had lined up a teenager to babysit a three- or four-year-old in the Sunday School room so that the mum could attend the ceremony without the kid. The bride was paying £20K for her dream wedding, she was more than happy to pay £100 for an emergency sitter to keep it from being disrupted by a bored pre-schooler.
Yes to all of this. I was shocked that the mom didn't take her child out when he was fussing. That would be the normal thing to do at a wedding where children were allowed.
Load More Replies... I've posted this story a few times - We had a "child free" wedding. A good friend asked if she could bring her kids (3 of them under the age of 10). I said no, but had a funny feeling ... Day of the wedding we post a groomsman near the church door. Sure enough, here comes little Miss Entitled with the kids in tow. He told her she wasn't allowed to bring the kids. She tried to tell him that I had made an exception for her. He was like, "No ma'am, she didn't. You're the reason I'm standing here". I literally returned her gift and ended our friendship over it. I don't need people with no respect for my boundaries in my life.
No Kids, Mean No Kids! That is not hard to understand. Her and her husband-to-be's wedding, they set the rules. Don't like the rules, decline the invite. There, now isn't that simple?
This guest brought two disruptive children to the wedding - her child and herself.
Bride was NTA. The mam could have asked the kids dad to take their child for the day.
Not to excuse her behavior, but maybe the dad isn’t around at all anymore. Either way she should have respected bride’s child-free request whether it meant she attended the wedding or not.
Load More Replies... In panel 8, the Entitled one 'she gave me a hard time and said I'm as a*****e for not accepting her situation' Should have been thrown back at her as "I gave her a hard time for being an a**e for not accepting her situation" Come on, no grandparent to watch him (his or her side) the dad refused or was he being punished and not allowed? Not an aunt or uncle to step up? This is what teenagers do for cash, I can't believe there was no other solution. More she wouldn't accept her new situation and projecting her issues onto others. A class act friend would stay home and send her regrets or when the bride sent out some one to have the child leave, NOT lie and say that a babysitter was picking him up. Just go home and let her know your regrets through said someone who went to resolve it , not keep making poor choices that day and expecting others to be 'accepting' to what 'you' don't.
She said the kid was a biter. Several times. I think that may have had something to do with it.
Load More Replies... Got invited to a child-free wedding months ago due to limited seating (with the exception of the couple's kids), and one friend in our group asked us (the invitees) if she could bring her kid. Two of my other friends also have kids their own but they're ok with leaving them for the wedding, but this other one is pushing. In the end, she didn't bring the kid and realized later at the reception how bad it would be if she brought him with her.
No kids mean no kids. If you can't find a sitter than don't go to the wedding. It is not like she was a bridesmaid or anything like that so she should have skipped the wedding. The "friend" also showed after that she is not a good friend so her absence wouldn't have made a difference.
I understand that she doesn't want to miss the big day, but for Chrissake, if you kid can't stop crying, you are taking it home. Why put the bride AND a toddler under so much stress??
I would be so mad if I could hear a kid or baby during my wedding. Absolutely NOT it's a special day and you don't want that!
I do think blanket child-free rules for weddings are problematic when the bride and/or groom have younger siblings or kids themselves. But for guests - friends, distant cousins, colleagues - then it should be clear whether the kids are invited or excluded, just as it should be clear if the invite is for them alone or with a plus 1. In this instance, the friend either lied to the bridesmaid or was left down by the babysitter. It's possible if OP wasn't mad having seen the child whilst walking down the aisle, OP might have been less aware of the kid's squirming, but if the kid kept talking it is understandable that would have distracted during the ceremony. It comes down to the friend broke the no kids rule which resulted in the bride being distracted during the ceremony, so asking the friend to leave was fair. The friend should have left, with a message they couldn't stay because the babysitter let them down, before the ceremony started.
This 'friend only was doing her ways. Piling one poor choice on top of the others is quite an a**e move, then can't/won't accept her situation, but turns that statement around to the bride (sound familiar? look at panel# 8).
Load More Replies... Leave your hump dumpling crib lizard at home when an invitation states child free! Most people video their ceremony and don't need to pay for extra editing to remove the sounds of your screech demons.
Depends what you think a wedding is for - if it's a family celebration of two people making a public commitment to each other, then everyone from kids to great auntie Ethel should be there. If it's about creating a once in a lifetime 'event' - basically one person getting to be a princess for the day and paying a heck of a lot for everything to be perfect, then absolutely don't invite the kids.
Or maybe you just don't want to pay for every adult to bring 3 extra people?? As well as paying for other adults they've never met before on TOP of the usual +1?? Also at this point everyone else has already arranged childcare and allowing some kid in anyways is disrespectful to them. Also maybe the op just doesn't really like kids and strangers and so doesn't want them at her celebration lol, especially a kid from this two faced c**t. In my country it's pretty rare to have more than 30 guests because you don't go around inviting just anyone...
Load More Replies... yeah you are both POS, your friend should have left her kid with the dad I mean he left her but he is still his dad, and you because clearly you were being a bridezilla the fact of the matter is no one cares about your stupid wedding, but you so stop overreacting
Wow okay so, 1. Do you know where the father is? Are the two on good terms? 2. She's not a bridezilla.
Load More Replies... I mean...when I decided to have a "wedfing reception" for my 30th birthday (no ceremony or anything, just a fancy party with fancy cake and a dance floor) instead of saying "no kids," I hired an in-room sitter, made up a kids' table, and provided games and dollar store toys. My family in BOTH sides have done the same at big events since. I'm saying this not to say that the bride was wrong, but instead to point out that it's really RARE for there to be much planning for kids at an event like a wedding, and DEFINITELY none at one that says "no kids" on the invite, so your child is GOING to be a boil on everyone's bungholes because they're bored out of their minds! Why would you as a parent inflict that on YOURSELF, much less everyone else? When childcare falls through, PICK UP THE PHONE and call to say, "I can't make it because of this, so I'm calling to give you all my best and we'll get together when you have time and you can tell me all about it."
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