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“AITA For Calling My MIL A Crybaby And Saying Her Birthday Isn’t As Important As My Son’s First Birthday?”
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“AITA For Calling My MIL A Crybaby And Saying Her Birthday Isn’t As Important As My Son’s First Birthday?”

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Family life is one of those things where you never know where and when you’ll offend someone or simply hurt someone else’s interests. And indeed, if schools taught a discipline called “Family Negotiating”, this world would definitely be a somewhat more peaceful place.

Relations between daughters-in-law and mothers-in-law in families since ancient times have been a cause for much strife, and the modern day is no exception. Like, for example, in this family, where the wife decided to complain online about the behavior of the grandmother of her own 1-year-old son.

The thread she started on Reddit almost went viral with around 10K upvotes and over 2K different people rushed to comment. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves…

More info: Reddit

The Original Poster’s son was coincidentally born on the same day as his grandmother

Image credits: Liza (not the actual image)

So, the Original Poster delivered a son about a year ago, and it turned out that the baby was born exactly on the same day as his grandmother. By the way, even before the birth, the woman used to joke that the child should have waited a bit to be born in order to avoid such coincidences – but no. It turned out just the opposite.

Image credits: u/[deleted]

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When it came time to arrange birthday parties, nobody wanted to give in

And so, when it came time to organize the first birthday party for the little boy, it turned out that the MIL did not want to give in to any arrangement that would take attention from her own party. We must say, she had two good reasons for this.

Image credits: u/[deleted]

The mother-in-law had her 50th birthday, so it was extremely important to her

Firstly, in their family, it has always been customary to arrange very large-scale family holidays. Secondly, not just a birthday was approaching, but a half-century jubilee – and such a date, you see, should be celebrated on a special scale!

Image credits: Dark Dwarf (not the actual image)

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Image credits: u/[deleted]

Mom and MIL did not agree on the arranging of both parties on the same day

And so, the OP and her MIL started arguing. At first, mom suggested arranging a children’s party in the morning, and then move on to celebrating grandma’s birthday. She, however, refused – because the scale of the planned holiday meant stylists, hairdressers, trying on clothes… in fact, the woman simply would not have had time to visit the holiday of her tiny grandson.

Image credits: u/[deleted]

Grandmother told her that the 1-year-old baby just won’t remember anything about his first party

In turn, MIL claimed that since the baby is only a year old, he definitely won’t remember or even understand anything that will happen, so, in her opinion, nothing terrible will occur if the children’s party is rescheduled to another day, or even to the next weekend.

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Image credits: u/[deleted]

Both women blamed the other in disrespect and offensiveness

Needless to say, both women could not come to an agreement. In the end, everything played out like a massive quarrel – the mother accused MIL of neglecting her own grandson, and she, in turn, claimed that the OP simply did not respect her and her age.

Image credits: Marc can der Chijs (not the actual iimage)

The OP, in response, just called the MIL a crybaby – and the relationship deteriorated for a long time. Her husband’s sisters sided with their mother and stopped communicating with both the OP and their own brother (who, apparently, supported his own wife and son).

People in the comments just blasted both women for being extremely stubborn

However, commenters on Reddit were not so supportive, blasting both women for being so stubborn. Most, of course, simply advised her to reconcile and organize a joint party – although the OP further noted that her MIL usually celebrates noisily, with loud music, feasts until deep after midnight and entertains many ‘doubtful’, as she puts it, guests.

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And yet, people in the comments were inclined to believe that it was necessary to agree to get along somehow – at least so that in the future, the kid would not grow up in an atmosphere of hostility, and after such a quarrel, further grievances and conflicts are inevitable. In general, as we have already noted, a training course on “Family Negotiating” is a must-have.

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By the way, it would be interesting to know your opinion about this story – and indeed, perhaps some of you have found yourself in a slightly similar situation, in which case we look forward to hearing about your decision. Experience, after all, is the result of mistakes, and it’s best to learn from those made by strangers.

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Oleg Tarasenko

Oleg Tarasenko

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

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Oleg Tarasenko

Oleg Tarasenko

Writer, BoredPanda staff

After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

Monika Pašukonytė

Monika Pašukonytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

Read less »

Monika Pašukonytė

Monika Pašukonytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

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lisah255 avatar
LH25
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If it wasn't MIL 50th, I'd be more on the new mom's side. But really, a first birthday is more about the parents than the kid.

lsgm2fw avatar
Zoe's Mom
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On a personal note: Something like this caused my divorce. There were MANY other things but this was the final straw.. Planned a getaway to Carmel, California for my birthday. Niece on his side was born on my birthday. I asked continually if we were still going to Carmel and that we could visit his niece when we got back.. It was yes until the day of and he decided to go to his niece's 1st birthday party. REGARDING THIS POST; I would say both are AH simply because of the way they communicated with each other. Things could have been said much differently and maybe a compromised could have been reached.

dpopknight avatar
Diane Knight
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry that happened, I'd say if you asked a few times, with the answer that the trip was on, I don't blame you for the poor outcome. Not a way to treat your loved one at the time. I have 2 nieces , oddly enough one is the oldest and then this second girl being the final one too. Happened to be born on the same day. My SIL was so disappointed that her daughter didn't have her own day, but we women can't control these events for the most part. You just deal with the best way you can. Just get over yourselves is what generally happens. My Mom was thrilled with it as she remembers the birthdays better. With 12 grands and double the 'days' less to keep up with. (:P )

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lisah255 avatar
LH25
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If it wasn't MIL 50th, I'd be more on the new mom's side. But really, a first birthday is more about the parents than the kid.

lsgm2fw avatar
Zoe's Mom
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On a personal note: Something like this caused my divorce. There were MANY other things but this was the final straw.. Planned a getaway to Carmel, California for my birthday. Niece on his side was born on my birthday. I asked continually if we were still going to Carmel and that we could visit his niece when we got back.. It was yes until the day of and he decided to go to his niece's 1st birthday party. REGARDING THIS POST; I would say both are AH simply because of the way they communicated with each other. Things could have been said much differently and maybe a compromised could have been reached.

dpopknight avatar
Diane Knight
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry that happened, I'd say if you asked a few times, with the answer that the trip was on, I don't blame you for the poor outcome. Not a way to treat your loved one at the time. I have 2 nieces , oddly enough one is the oldest and then this second girl being the final one too. Happened to be born on the same day. My SIL was so disappointed that her daughter didn't have her own day, but we women can't control these events for the most part. You just deal with the best way you can. Just get over yourselves is what generally happens. My Mom was thrilled with it as she remembers the birthdays better. With 12 grands and double the 'days' less to keep up with. (:P )

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