“They’ll Grow Into Monsters”: BIL Can’t Hold His Offensive Opinions Back, Gets Banned From Thanksgiving

Family dinners can sometimes get tense for a variety of reasons: differing opinions, clashing personalities, or even old grudges resurfacing. But when one adult crosses the line and makes deeply insensitive comments, it might be time to draw firm boundaries. 

Like in this case, where a man decided to cut off his sister and her husband after a disturbing dinner conversation. His pregnant wife, a survivor of childhood trauma, was left in tears when her brother-in-law implied that their twin sons might “inherit” her father’s past crimes. The shocking accusation shattered the evening and created a painful family rift just before Thanksgiving, leaving everyone shaken and divided.

Sometimes, family members say or do things that leave you completely unsettled

Man comforting upset woman on couch after Thanksgiving argument causing shock and horror in family gathering.

Image credits: Wavebreak Media (not the actual image)

A man shared how his brother-in-law made shocking remarks about his young sons, leaving his pregnant wife deeply distressed

Text excerpt from a story about a man banned from Thanksgiving after upsetting his brother-in-law’s wife with his theory.

Man banned from Thanksgiving after making brother-in-law’s wife cry with his shocking theory at family gathering.

Man banned from Thanksgiving after upsetting brother-in-law’s wife with controversial family theory.

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Two young boys playing with colorful toys on a carpet, capturing a moment of shock and horror during Thanksgiving.

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Text screenshot showing a family disagreement causing shock and ban from Thanksgiving involving a man’s controversial theory.

Text excerpt showing a man upset after Thanksgiving argument leading to shocked and horrified family tensions.

Text about a man’s theory causing his brother-in-law’s wife to cry and leading to a Thanksgiving ban.

Man banned from Thanksgiving after making brother-in-law’s wife cry with his shocking theory.

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He went on to explain that he now plans to keep his children away from his brother-in-law for good

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Reddit comments discussing a man banned from Thanksgiving after upsetting brother-in-law’s wife with his controversial theory.

Reddit comments discussing a man banned from Thanksgiving after upsetting his brother-in-law’s wife with a controversial theory.

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Commenters discuss a man banned from Thanksgiving after upsetting his brother-in-law’s wife with his theory.

Reddit conversation showing a man banned from Thanksgiving after upsetting BIL's wife with his controversial theory.

Reddit conversation about a man banned from Thanksgiving after upsetting BIL’s wife with his theory.

Screenshot of a Reddit conversation about a man banned from Thanksgiving for causing his brother-in-law’s wife to cry with his theory.

Children who have experienced trauma may struggle with anxiety and emotional challenges

Every child deserves a loving, safe, and nurturing childhood, one that allows them to grow, explore, and feel secure. They deserve homes where kindness and care shape their early years, not fear or neglect. Unfortunately, not every child gets that chance. Around the world, countless children still face challenges that rob them of their innocence. 

According to new UNICEF estimates, nearly 400 million children under the age of five, or about six in ten worldwide, face harsh treatment or emotional neglect at home. Of these, roughly 330 million are subjected to physical punishment in some form. These numbers paint a heartbreaking picture of what many children endure behind closed doors. The effects of such treatment ripple through every stage of life.

“When children are exposed to harsh treatment at home, or when they are deprived of emotional care and affection from their loved ones, it can deeply impact their sense of self-worth and healthy development,” said UNICEF Executive Director Catherine Russell.

A review of 45 studies found that children who experienced severe personal violations or inappropriate behavior from adults displayed significantly more emotional and behavioral challenges than those who did not. The effects accounted for 15–45% of the differences seen across groups, a substantial figure highlighting just how damaging such experiences can be. Children who face these situations often struggle with trust, concentration, or forming healthy attachments. 

Fear is one of the most common and lasting effects among children who have gone through traumatic experiences. It can surface in different ways: nightmares, anxiety, or an overwhelming need to stay “safe.” Children may avoid certain places or people that trigger memories of their distress. Recognizing this fear early is the first step in helping them recover.

Post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, depression, and behavioral challenges are also frequent outcomes of early trauma. Long-term, untreated stress can shape the way they process emotions and build relationships. Professional support, along with patience and compassion from caregivers, can make a world of difference in helping these children reclaim stability and confidence.

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As family and friends, it’s crucial to provide a safe, nurturing, and supportive environment to help them heal

Research suggests that individuals who experience severe emotional or physical distress in childhood may face ongoing struggles in adolescence and adulthood. These can include difficulties with trust, intimacy, or regulating emotions. Some may develop heightened sensitivity to rejection, while others might suppress emotions altogether. The scars may not be visible, but they often shape a person’s choices, relationships, and sense of identity. However, healing is absolutely possible. With the right guidance, therapy, and supportive environments, many survivors go on to build strong, fulfilling lives full of hope and resilience.

That’s why it’s crucial for family, friends, and the wider community to be understanding and supportive of anyone healing from childhood trauma. Compassion should replace judgment, and listening should come before offering advice. For some, professional help, whether through therapy, counseling, or support groups, plays a key role in recovery. Healing isn’t linear; it takes patience and trust. Everyone has a role to play in creating safe spaces for survivors to feel heard and valued. With empathy, it’s possible to help others rediscover strength and self-worth.

Being insensitive or dismissive toward those who have lived through painful experiences can cause deep emotional harm. Words matter, especially to someone still trying to heal. Making assumptions or trivializing their pain only reinforces the isolation they already feel. Instead, offering genuine kindness and respect can help them feel seen and understood.

In this particular situation, it really seemed like the author’s brother-in-law crossed a serious line with his insensitive and hurtful comments. Making assumptions about someone’s children based on a relative’s past is not only unfair but deeply disrespectful, especially when it involves something so personal and painful. The author’s reaction to protect his wife and children was completely understandable, given how distressing the moment must have been. Family gatherings are meant to bring people together, not cause emotional harm. What do you think: was cutting ties the right move, or should he have handled it differently?

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People online were outraged, calling the brother-in-law’s comments cruel, ignorant, and completely out of line

Screenshot of a Reddit conversation discussing a man banned from Thanksgiving after upsetting brother-in-law’s wife.

Screenshot of an online forum conversation about a man banned from Thanksgiving after upsetting his brother-in-law’s wife.

Screenshot of a Reddit conversation where users express being shocked and horrified by a man causing his BIL’s wife to cry.

Alt text: Reddit comment discussing family conflict on Thanksgiving after man’s controversial theory upset BIL’s wife.

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Reddit comment explaining why someone’s theory about sexual predators being genetic is wrong, causing family conflict.

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Reddit comment discussing a family argument where a man’s theory made his brother-in-law’s wife cry.

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Commenter explains theory about sexual predator influence in family causing conflict with brother-in-law and wife during Thanksgiving.

Reddit comment discussing family conflict after man’s theory made brother-in-law’s wife cry at Thanksgiving.

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Comment warning about keeping family away from Shawn due to his upsetting theory causing shock and horror among relatives.

Reddit comment expressing horror and sympathy after man’s theory made BIL’s wife cry, leading to Thanksgiving ban.

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