“This Will Also Double As The Wedding Favors”: Bride Comes Up With Ingenious Way To Prevent Guests From Drinking Too Much During Wedding
After the ceremony part of a wedding, the whole event can and will often turn into a party. This is supposed to be a special occasion to celebrate, after all. This can also mean the hosts after a tiring day need to potentially babysit a large, raucous, and drunk group who are ostensibly there to celebrate.
So one internet user shared a potential solution proposed by one bride. It involved creating ID badges for all the guests, complete with photos, that would, in theory, help limit how much alcohol they consumed. As one can imagine, the comments were divisive, as some mocked the idea while others thought it was clever.
Managing a horde of drunk guests is probably the last thing newlyweds want to do on their first evening together
Image credits: Jonathan Borba (not the actual photo)
So a bride posted what she thought was an innovative solution
Image credits: IndividualCoyote8427
Guests could even keep the ID cards as wedding favors, or so she thought
Image credits: Ono Kosuki (not the actual photo)
Adults prefer to be treated like adults, even if that means they get to make bad choices
Image credits: Engin Akyurt (not the actual photo)
Alcohol can be a touchy subject since it tends to go hand in hand with drunkenness, cultural expectations, and even personal identity. And this is before we get into alcoholism, the cost of purchasing it, and the health risks. So it’s no wonder that the bride wanted some, frankly, healthy limits on how much people were drinking. Some can’t help themselves at an open bar and will just keep drinking beyond what is healthy. As adults, they are completely free to do that, but the bride is at least keeping in mind that many will have to drive after the event. But the issue here is not her intentions, rather, her plan to limit drinking through ID badges and, presumably, some sort of checking system at the bar.
Most commenters noted that adults don’t like to be treated like non-adults. Once you are used to freedom, you aren’t going to willingly give it up unless there is a good reason. Alcohol is one of those hard-earned rights that most adults will not part with lightly. Because it’s often not just a drink, but a sort of social glue. A study of Scottish women found that drinking was more than just the consumption of a beverage, it was seen as a method to construct one’s identity. People used alcohol as a gateway to feeling younger again or to, briefly, leave behind certain norms and expectations. While it’s possible that people should perhaps seek therapy instead, it at least explains why someone might get defensive over alcohol.
Drinking at social events is so ingrained in our culture that even the idea of limits can be too far for some
Image credits: Miriam Salgado (not the actual photo)
Drinking already has a lot of symbols attached to it, based on cultural norms. In Austria, traditionally, certain drinks are only consumed in general gatherings, while beverages like schnapps (what a fun word) are reserved for gatherings with people closer to you, like friends and family. Access to one drink over another then literally signifies your status in the group. So the bride in the story is perhaps making a mistake by limiting the drinks, as it makes her guests, some of which are, no doubt, close friends and family, feel like they are being put into a more general category. Even though the reasoning is legitimate, they may feel that it’s like being given food stamps to eat at a family gathering.
Limiting alcohol might also send a signal to the guests that the host sees it as a moral issue. After all, in certain parts of the United States and the UK, drinking is frowned upon. So the guests might feel like the host sees drinking as a somewhat necessary evil and thereby would feel judged. It’s not exactly easy to party and let loose if you think there is someone watching and judging you. ID badges are also aggressively bureaucratic, and most people would associate them with paperwork, horrible photos, and other unpleasantries. To cap it all off, the bride mentioned using the badge as a wedding favor and I struggle to imagine a worse gift than a piece of plastic that happens to have a low-resolution image of my face on it.
Many commenters wanted to know more, and the OP gave some additional details
In general, the whole concept was divisive and raised more questions than it answered
Image credits: Charlotte Harrison (not the actual photo)
Many commenters speculated on how it would actually work
There were some who understood the bride’s reasoning behind the idea
Some commenters even shared their experiences with similar systems
Weddings can be expensive and messy with a free bar and I get where she's coming from but there are other ways (time limits, types of drinks or simply not having a free bar). ID cards just comes across as too controling.
My friends and I would challenge on who ended up with a better score, so it won't stop us drinking too much.
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The way to handle this is to (1) have a cash bar, not an open bar; people will drink less if they have to pay for it; (2) ensure your venue hires trained bartenders able to identify and cut off over-drinkers; and (3) if necessary, note to the bartenders the few people you're worried about overdoing it. Personally, I wouldn't overdo it if I had to drive an hour, but being infantilized would annoy tf out of me.
Cash bar could work. I suggested tokens, too. Alcoholics tend to spend away, though. I wonder if she has people in her family/friends who can't behave. Not everyone is responsible.
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So, as a guest I’d be expect throw down a minimum of $2000 to travel, book hotel , buy gift & eat out, to celebrate in your happiness that ultimately doesn’t hold much value in my own world (wedding really aren’t that important to the majority of guest; rather obligations. No matter how happy they are about the union) and the bride is worried I can’t be responsible for myself??? It’s insulting and o don’t even drink more than wine with dinner now & then. I’m not about to invest in a celebration where I’m micromanaged & regulated in such a way. It’s not about the alcohol, but the cringe of it all. It’d be a hard pass from me. I’d decline the invite as it’s the week I’m having hangnail surgery.
Not everything is about you. This isn't micromanaging; it's being responsible for people who attend a party. Some people have problems. In order to ensure the safety and enjoyment of guests, sometimes rules are set. Drink as much as you like at home. Expect rules in someone else's. I think she could have made this simpler with drink tokens equating to drinks. 3 shots, or 5 beers, something like that. Honestly, if you're this angry over it, then I think this rule was meant for you.
Load More Replies... Weddings can be expensive and messy with a free bar and I get where she's coming from but there are other ways (time limits, types of drinks or simply not having a free bar). ID cards just comes across as too controling.
My friends and I would challenge on who ended up with a better score, so it won't stop us drinking too much.
Load More Replies... The way to handle this is to (1) have a cash bar, not an open bar; people will drink less if they have to pay for it; (2) ensure your venue hires trained bartenders able to identify and cut off over-drinkers; and (3) if necessary, note to the bartenders the few people you're worried about overdoing it. Personally, I wouldn't overdo it if I had to drive an hour, but being infantilized would annoy tf out of me.
Cash bar could work. I suggested tokens, too. Alcoholics tend to spend away, though. I wonder if she has people in her family/friends who can't behave. Not everyone is responsible.
Load More Replies... So, as a guest I’d be expect throw down a minimum of $2000 to travel, book hotel , buy gift & eat out, to celebrate in your happiness that ultimately doesn’t hold much value in my own world (wedding really aren’t that important to the majority of guest; rather obligations. No matter how happy they are about the union) and the bride is worried I can’t be responsible for myself??? It’s insulting and o don’t even drink more than wine with dinner now & then. I’m not about to invest in a celebration where I’m micromanaged & regulated in such a way. It’s not about the alcohol, but the cringe of it all. It’d be a hard pass from me. I’d decline the invite as it’s the week I’m having hangnail surgery.
Not everything is about you. This isn't micromanaging; it's being responsible for people who attend a party. Some people have problems. In order to ensure the safety and enjoyment of guests, sometimes rules are set. Drink as much as you like at home. Expect rules in someone else's. I think she could have made this simpler with drink tokens equating to drinks. 3 shots, or 5 beers, something like that. Honestly, if you're this angry over it, then I think this rule was meant for you.
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