“Flipped Out, Started Crying”: Bio Mom Freaks Out About Daughter’s Wedding Plans

A wedding is a celebration not just for the couple, but also their entire families. It’s a chance to honor the people who have shaped the newlyweds’ lives, especially those that have played pivotal roles in their upbringing.

However, in a recent Reddit post, Creativecloud19 shared a difficult dilemma she faced while planning her big day. The bride wanted her adoptive parents to walk her down the aisle, but her biological mother, who has recently re-entered her life after years of estrangement, feels deeply hurt by the decision.

This bride told her biological mother — who had been estranged from for a long time — that she wanted her adoptive parents to walk her down the aisle

Bride walking with her mom in a garden, both in elegant dresses, highlighted by natural sunlight.

Image credits: pexels (not the actual photo)

The lady felt like she was being excluded and got very upset

Text discussing telling mom she won't walk bride down aisle; includes wedding planning details.

Text discussing bridal party preferences and aisle choices.

Text discussing non-traditional aisle walk with both parents instead of biological mother.

Text about resolving differences with mom and her recent frequent presence in life.

Young woman comforts an older woman, expressing concern about walking down the aisle.

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

Text discussing a decision about wedding plans and who will walk the bride down the aisle.

Text about adoptive parents walking someone down the aisle instead of their biological mom.

Image credits: creativecloud19

Image credits: pexels (not the actual photo)

Family estrangement has become an epidemic

According to data collected by Joshua Coleman, a psychologist who specializes in family estrangement, and national public opinion researcher Will Johnson, today, 1 in 2 American adults is estranged from a close relative.

There’s little difference in the frequency of estrangement by political beliefs or party affiliation, but it is much more common among adults under 35.

Coleman and Johnson believe family relationships may be more fraught today because they exist in what sociologist Zygmunt Bauman called “liquid culture,” a period characterized by rapidly changing norms and values — the traditional bonds and values that once unified people have eroded, leaving relationships more fragile and increasingly vulnerable to political and cultural polarization.

Coleman thinks there are two roads toward reconciliation.

The first includes reckoning with the issues that led to estrangement. In this scenario, an estranged child and parent may go to therapy together to better understand their relationship dynamic.

“I say that the purpose of this therapy is to … demonstrate to your adult child if you’re capable of taking responsibility and then understanding why they felt [estrangement] was the healthiest thing for them to do,” Coleman explains. “You might need to … deepen your understanding of how your behavior impacted your child, even if it’s at odds with your own recollections of what happened in the past.”

Usually, Coleman encourages the estranged parent to write a “letter of amends,” where they show that they recognize the effects of their words and actions.

The second path requires the wounded party accepting “the inherent flaws” of the person they’ve been estranged from.

The former person may ultimately conclude that, despite their problems, they still see the relationship as important enough for them to continue.  There is no grand reckoning — more of a softening, an understanding that the person you were estranged from may never fix their flaws or change their mind but you want to be in their life regardless. “They just want family and they don’t want to continue to be estranged,” Coleman says.

Maybe the Redditor and her mom are still at a crossroads?

As the story went viral, the bride provided more context for her situation

Reddit post discussing wedding aisle choices and financial priorities.

Comment about who should walk down the aisle, with a response about legal issues regarding a stepdad.

Reddit comments discussing family judgment and wedding decisions, focusing on mom's role in the ceremony.

Most of those who read it believed she did nothing wrong

Comment supporting choice about who walks you down the aisle at your wedding.

Comment discussing family dynamics related to a wedding decision on who walks the bride down the aisle.

Text screenshot discussing wedding traditions and parental roles in ceremonies.

Comment advises that it's your ceremony and choice; mom's feelings aren't your responsibility.

Reddit comment discussing who should walk a person down the aisle, with supportive advice.

Reddit comment discussing decision on who walks bride down the aisle.

Reddit comment about choosing who will walk you down the aisle at your wedding.

Reddit comment discussing family influence on wedding decisions.

Reddit comment discussing boundaries and parental roles related to wedding planning.

Comment discussing manipulative behavior, questioning whether mom deserves to walk her child down the aisle, ending with "Congrats!!

Reddit comment discussing the choice of a mother walking her child down the aisle at a wedding.

Reddit comment discussing a mother's return and wedding plans, questioning post-wedding living arrangements.

Text discussing decision about who will walk the author down the aisle at their wedding.

Text response to a question about a mom not walking her child down the aisle.

Reddit comment supporting decision about who walks down the aisle, mentioning gratitude and deserving parents.

Comment discussing adoption, wedding planning, and personal boundaries in family relationships.

Reddit comment discussing reasons for excluding a mom from walking down the aisle.

Reddit comment discussing a mother's role in a wedding aisle situation, mentioning uninviting her from the wedding.

Reddit comment discussing a mother not walking her child down the aisle due to past adoption.

However, some are saying she needs to re-evaluate her priorities

Text screenshot discussing a wedding without a proposal; mentions walking down the aisle.

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