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8
Bride Thinks She Can Just Show Up To Her Wedding Without Planning Any Of It: “Is It Normal?”
Interview With Author
Planning a wedding is no small feat. Still, as The Knot’s 2025 annual wedding survey shows, 80% of couples choose to do all the planning themselves. Only 8% said their wedding is being planned by a professional or by other loved ones.
This bride moved up her wedding date to this summer, but refused to do any planning. Her bridal party soon found out what it’s like dealing with a bridezilla, when the woman started being “incredibly picky” and even sent her fiancé to harass the Maid of Honor for not doing a good enough job.
Bored Panda reached out to the bride’s sister, u/aratinthetrash, and she kindly agreed to tell us more about the disagreement. Read our short conversation below!
RELATED:
A bride wanted a wedding as soon as possible, but refused to do any planning
Image credits: Alexander Mass / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Her sister got fed up and decided to vent about it online
Image credits: Ron Lach / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: aratinthetrash
As of now, u/aratinthetrash doesn’t have any news, but plans to post an update after the wedding.
We were curious to know what the maid of honor’s reaction was when the fiancé publicly humiliated her in the friend group chat. The Redditor tells us that the woman didn’t respond. “Just said she would prefer private texts not being shared publicly,” she recalls.
Yet the thing that surprised u/aratinthetrash wasn’t the fiancé’s callousness. She was most shocked by how the couple didn’t seem to care about their guests. “[So many] iterations of planning and the rush to just get married without a reason and without care about the overall experience,” she tells Bored Panda.
“[All] while expecting the guests to buy them the multiple $500 gifts on their registry. But not even providing a band or DJ at the wedding, originally planning to just order pizza to feed the guests,” the Redditor continues.
At this point, u/aratinthetrash is convinced no conversations with the couple will be fruitful. She doesn’t believe they understand how their actions are affecting others. “If they do understand, they just don’t care about anyone’s experience but their own,” the author adds.
Image credits: Natasha Fernandez / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The couple should clearly communicate what they want for a wedding even if the planner is a friend
Planning a wedding can be stressful. In fact, 52% of couples agree, and 59% say that the process is overwhelming. A wedding planner can take much of that stress away, but it comes with a certain cost.
According to The Knot, the average cost of a wedding planner last year was $2,100. The price depends on what kind of wedding the couple is planning: the location, the services included, and other factors. Still, wedding experts estimate that a wedding planner can cost anywhere from $1,400 to $4,100 and even more.
That’s why the majority of couples try to save up and either plan their weddings themselves or delegate it to family members or friends. Nevertheless, wedding planning experts say that the couple should very clearly communicate to the planners what they want.
As one commenter already pointed out, if the bride has no say in the planning process, the planner is in for a lifetime of criticism and complaining.
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Experts don’t recommend asking your friend to plan your wedding
That’s why wedding experts from Bianca Nichole and Co recommend choosing someone other than a family member or friend for the main wedding planner and coordinator. They give four main reasons why it might not work out:
- They won’t enjoy the wedding as a guest. By asking a friend to be your wedding planner, you’re taking away the joy from them of being a wedding guest.
- It might hurt your friendship. Like the bride in this story probably already learned the hard way, the stress of planning a wedding puts a lot of pressure on the planner. A planner needs to please a lot of people: the guests, the family, the fiancé, and the bride. Conflicts are bound to happen, and the friend relationship might suffer in the process.
- They’re inexperienced. Unless you have a wedding planner for a BFF, they might feel out of their depth. “From bobby pins and a Tide-To-Go pen, to snacks and Advil, we are prepared for anything,” the planners at Bianca Nichole and Co write. “We know what time your caterer should arrive for set up, and can help your florist adjust last-minute details.”
- They might lack authority with other guests. This is especially true for parents and grandparents. They might feel like bossing the planner around. Whereas a professional would know how to politely deal with overzealous family members, a friend might be in for some awkward and uncomfortable situations.
Image credits: micheile henderson / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
12 months in advance is the most optimal time to start planning a wedding
The fact the sister decided to move up the wedding date to this summer is also questionable. Planning a wedding takes time, and if the couple wants more than elopement or a tiny wedding with witnesses only, it’s going to take more than a month.
Wedding planner Nicole-Natassha Goulding told Brides that an average wedding usually takes about 12 months to plan. That way, the couple has time to book a venue, hire vendors, find a wedding dress, and more.
Although Goulding advises her clients to wait at least one month after engagement before starting to plan a wedding, some couples do it even before getting engaged. According to a survey by the wedding registry site Zola, 100% of couples take a major step in their wedding planning process before getting engaged.
Wedding planner Rachel Urban told Vogue that she’s had similar clients. “I feel for current couples, as the wedding world is busier than ever which is causing couples to always feel this sense of being ‘behind’ on wedding planning. I can see why more couples feel the pressure to get started sooner than later.”
“She definitely does want to be married,” the sister insisted in the comments
“This is not normal,” people commented, pointing out the bride should want to be involved
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What do you think ?
Orysha 6 months ago
EVERYONE should bail out of this nightmare. Op's sister and her fiancè are giga trous du cul.
Nina 6 months ago
What does the bride think will happen if she's not involved in the planning of her wedding or bridal activities? It'll never be how she envisioned it or how she would want it if she doesn't actively participate in planning things. Besides that, the couple who wants to get married should do the planning of their wedding. Bridesmaids can do the bachelorette, any extra things are optional.
Cee Cee 6 months ago
Bride and groom sound like ghastly self-entitled that's. MOH should tell her to do her own planning but she's out of there.
Binky Melnik 6 months ago
If I were the MoH and didn’t wanna bow out for whatever reason, I’d be happy to plan her wedding, and it’d the THE tackiest wedding in the history of weddings, because if the bride refuses to get a grip, then she gets the wedding *I* plan, and it’ll teach her stupid аss never again to have a wedding for which she refuses to cooperate! I myself hired a wedding planner because I had neither the time nor inclination for the type of wedding my in-laws would want, so I paid someone $500 to find me a cute little church of a denomination that makes NO judgments and has NO stained glass or sculptures depicting t*****e and suffering (they exist! It’s called Utilitarian) (in-laws were EXTREMELY devout, so this was my compromise to make ‘em happy), a hotel ballroom in which to hold the reception, someone to provide the food, someone to provide the flowers, a photographer, and a cake. I just sat back and showed up. Didn’t bother with a bachelorette party as I worked in a male-dominated industry …
Load More Replies... Orysha 6 months ago
EVERYONE should bail out of this nightmare. Op's sister and her fiancè are giga trous du cul.
Nina 6 months ago
What does the bride think will happen if she's not involved in the planning of her wedding or bridal activities? It'll never be how she envisioned it or how she would want it if she doesn't actively participate in planning things. Besides that, the couple who wants to get married should do the planning of their wedding. Bridesmaids can do the bachelorette, any extra things are optional.
Cee Cee 6 months ago
Bride and groom sound like ghastly self-entitled that's. MOH should tell her to do her own planning but she's out of there.
Binky Melnik 6 months ago
If I were the MoH and didn’t wanna bow out for whatever reason, I’d be happy to plan her wedding, and it’d the THE tackiest wedding in the history of weddings, because if the bride refuses to get a grip, then she gets the wedding *I* plan, and it’ll teach her stupid аss never again to have a wedding for which she refuses to cooperate! I myself hired a wedding planner because I had neither the time nor inclination for the type of wedding my in-laws would want, so I paid someone $500 to find me a cute little church of a denomination that makes NO judgments and has NO stained glass or sculptures depicting t*****e and suffering (they exist! It’s called Utilitarian) (in-laws were EXTREMELY devout, so this was my compromise to make ‘em happy), a hotel ballroom in which to hold the reception, someone to provide the food, someone to provide the flowers, a photographer, and a cake. I just sat back and showed up. Didn’t bother with a bachelorette party as I worked in a male-dominated industry …
Load More Replies...
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