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Man Returns His Fiancée’s Wedding Dress To Respect His Mom’s “Vision”, Gets Screamed At
Man Returns His Fiancée’s Wedding Dress To Respect His Mom’s “Vision”, Gets Screamed At
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Man Returns His Fiancée’s Wedding Dress To Respect His Mom’s “Vision”, Gets Screamed At

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It’s no secret that weddings are synonymous with stress as the pressure and expectations the happy couple feels to live up to are often off the charts. And among the many important decisions brides go through when planning one of the happiest days in their lives, the dress usually falls right at the top of the list.

Finding the perfect gown that matches your personality and makes you feel and look beautiful is no easy task. But when you finally spot one and then discover your fiancé had the audacity to return it without your permission, well, you can only imagine this woman’s fury.

“I hate to admit that wedding planning has been an absolute nightmare,” recently wrote a 28-year-old bride-to-be in the popular AITA subreddit. The woman reached out to the community to ask if she was wrong to blow up at her fiancé for refusing to find common ground (read: yield to ridiculous requests) with his mom. Turns out, the lady had a specific “vision” for the big day, and she wouldn’t settle for anything less.

Below, you can read the full story featuring the intrusive mother-in-law as well as the verdict readers were quick to deem. Then decide for yourself if the situation was handled appropriately, and be sure to weigh in on the discussion in the comments!

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    One bride recently shared how she blew up at her fiancé for returning the wedding dress without her permission

    Image credits: PhotoMIX Company (not the actual photo)

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    Unsure of how to handle the situation, the woman asked the internet for perspective

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    Image credits: Dmitry Zvolskiy (not the actual photo)

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    Later on, she added an update to clarify some details about the incident

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    After reading the woman’s story, the community members were more than ready to express overwhelming support for the bride-to-be and sound the alarm about her relationship dynamics. The vast majority deemed that the mother-in-law and her son are in the wrong in this situation, with some even saying it’s a good thing they showed their true colors right before tying the knot.

    It’s easy to see why the whole incident deeply resonated with readers — everyone knows that getting along with in-laws and even tolerating them can be a difficult, if not impossible, task. As these strangers become a part of your family together with your other half, finding common ground can be hard.

    Previously, we reached out to Dr. Nathalie Martinek, Ph. D., a narcissism hacker and relationship coach, to gain more insight on difficult in-law relationships. According to her, there may be many reasons why getting along with your partner’s parents can seem tricky. “Often, the partner is seen as an inadequate match for their son or daughter due to their personality, their profession, education level, upbringing or culture,” she told Bored Panda.

    The expert also pointed out it can especially be challenging for women when their mother-in-law sees them as a competitor for their attention. “Mother-in-laws who are possessive over their son feel insecure about her son’s degree of loyalty and want to be the most important woman in her son’s life by continually having an influence over his feelings and choices.”

    In these cases, the mother may seek to control her son’s decisions once he creates a relationship by “using emotional manipulation tactics to keep her son close and dependent on his mother’s approval because he still needs this to feel secure and stable.”

    Dr. Martinek argued that sadly, men are often oblivious to their mother’s attempts to drive a wedge between the couple “by using methods to undermine the daughter-in-law/partner, like criticizing her character, appearance, housekeeping, parenting or profession to cause tension in the couple’s relationship so that the son runs back to his mother every time her tactics cause conflict.”

    She noted that some mothers-in-law consistently try to ruin the relationship, whether consciously or not, until they can restore the parent-child dynamic they once had with their sons. The interesting part is that the mother may not even realize she’s behaving this way. Moreover, her son may have difficulties acknowledging these harmful patterns, even if his partner who notices them points them out.

    “Relationships are hard enough between two people without the interference of parents or anyone else. While some parents want their children to believe that meddling or offers of advice mean they care, it can often mean that the parents haven’t been able to let go of their adult child and still want to be seen as the most important person in that adult child’s life,” Dr. Martinek concluded.

    Bored Panda would love to hear your thoughts about this situation. Feel free to share your opinions about the fiancé’s actions and the way the bride-to-be handled the whole incident in the comments below!

    Readers unanimously sided with the bride, with many suggesting that her fiancé’s behavior was a huge red flag

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    Ieva Gailiūtė

    Ieva Gailiūtė

    Writer, Community member

    Read more »

    Ieva is a writer at Bored Panda who graduated in Scandinavian studies from Vilnius University. After learning the Swedish language and getting completely lost in the world of Scandinavian mythology, she figured out that translating and writing is what she's passionate about. When not writing, Ieva enjoys making jewelry, going on hikes, reading and drinking coffee.

    Read less »
    Ieva Gailiūtė

    Ieva Gailiūtė

    Writer, Community member

    Ieva is a writer at Bored Panda who graduated in Scandinavian studies from Vilnius University. After learning the Swedish language and getting completely lost in the world of Scandinavian mythology, she figured out that translating and writing is what she's passionate about. When not writing, Ieva enjoys making jewelry, going on hikes, reading and drinking coffee.

    What do you think ?
    Kensi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I really hope this lady run and called off the wedding. This would only get worse and worse.

    Allison B
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Agreed. I mean I often think the aita posts where commenter tell OP to leave their SO are too quick to do so but in this case she should definitely leave. This is a bad and creepy situation.

    Load More Replies...
    Dre Mosley
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. Run. Don't marry this Mama's Boy. Your future MIL clearly is controlling and won't respect boundaries. Take his ring off and throw it at him

    Alan Jarvis
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In the words of a famous celebrity serial bride throw the ring at him darling but keep the stone. Zsa Zsa Gabor

    Load More Replies...
    S
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you marry him you're an idiot. Full blown moron.

    Elizabeth Rose
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean, that's harsh & I know you're just trying not to mince words but who among us hasn't made a couple of unsavory choices when it comes to love? She's still young too. I hope she splits faster than bananas, but I know love can really cloud your judgement & make you second guess yourself like "is it me or is this pretty messed up?" Been there. Prefer cats. 😆❤️

    Load More Replies...
    Elio
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Run away lady! Never ever marry anyone that far up their mom or dad's @ss. It's not about the dress; it's about the lack of boundaries. Returning the wedding dress your future wife bought and exchanging it for one mommy likes instead is not normal. The man already has a wife and it is his mom.

    Diane Knight
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What dress shop would allow this? A man who didn't purchased it? In exchange for one that the 'bride' didn't put on ? Questions all over this one.... if it makes no sense, it's more likely not true.

    Load More Replies...
    Deborah B
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is 'call off the wedding' behaviour. Not necessarially 'end the relationship imediately' if it's the only issue, but definately 'mandatory couples therapy'. If he can go low contact with mommy dearest, and develop healthy boundries, then he might be salvageable. The relationship needs to go on hold until he fixes himself, though.

    gie
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If he doesn't have your back now, he never will. It's cruel reality but if she was raised with a father with no boundaries, she may over look the same glaring issue with her own fiance as normal. Pay attention! If there has been a strong emphasis on having Grandchild and not Children when discussing the future with your fiance? Sadly he will continue to please his mother despite of you. His goal whether he is conscious of it is to dismantle and rebuild you after marriage into the woman his mother wants: A person who can provide things for her son she can't, like sex, children, and maid service. RUN.

    Hoshi Reed
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Imagine that she wants to wait 10 years to first get her career and retirement started and the MIL wants grand children in 3. If he is willing to trade in the wedding dress, this tells me he is also willing to sabotage the birth control.

    Load More Replies...
    LH25
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bad enough that he was pressuring her to give the dress his mom picked out a chance, but to return the one she got!? Nope.

    UpQuarkDownQuark
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “We found the perfect little bungalow.” “Mom always envisioned her son in a craftsmen!” “I’m being made an associate professor” “But mother always envisioned her daughter-in-law as a part-time dental hygienist and homemaker!!” “I’d like to name the baby Jonathon Alexander.” “But Mommy always envisioned her first grandson being named Jehoshaphat Longshanks!!!”

    Ramona Jackson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Run, girl, run, MY MIL picked out out 2nd house along with my hubby while I was at work. It was 5 long miserable years of living in a place I f*****g HATED. RUN!!!

    Load More Replies...
    Raine Soo
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's the OP's wedding. She should wear the dress she chose, so she is not the a-hole. The mother-in-law already had her wedding. She should let someone else shine. Perhaps the mama's boy can wear the dress his mommy chose.

    Load More Comments
    Kensi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I really hope this lady run and called off the wedding. This would only get worse and worse.

    Allison B
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Agreed. I mean I often think the aita posts where commenter tell OP to leave their SO are too quick to do so but in this case she should definitely leave. This is a bad and creepy situation.

    Load More Replies...
    Dre Mosley
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. Run. Don't marry this Mama's Boy. Your future MIL clearly is controlling and won't respect boundaries. Take his ring off and throw it at him

    Alan Jarvis
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In the words of a famous celebrity serial bride throw the ring at him darling but keep the stone. Zsa Zsa Gabor

    Load More Replies...
    S
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you marry him you're an idiot. Full blown moron.

    Elizabeth Rose
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean, that's harsh & I know you're just trying not to mince words but who among us hasn't made a couple of unsavory choices when it comes to love? She's still young too. I hope she splits faster than bananas, but I know love can really cloud your judgement & make you second guess yourself like "is it me or is this pretty messed up?" Been there. Prefer cats. 😆❤️

    Load More Replies...
    Elio
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Run away lady! Never ever marry anyone that far up their mom or dad's @ss. It's not about the dress; it's about the lack of boundaries. Returning the wedding dress your future wife bought and exchanging it for one mommy likes instead is not normal. The man already has a wife and it is his mom.

    Diane Knight
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What dress shop would allow this? A man who didn't purchased it? In exchange for one that the 'bride' didn't put on ? Questions all over this one.... if it makes no sense, it's more likely not true.

    Load More Replies...
    Deborah B
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is 'call off the wedding' behaviour. Not necessarially 'end the relationship imediately' if it's the only issue, but definately 'mandatory couples therapy'. If he can go low contact with mommy dearest, and develop healthy boundries, then he might be salvageable. The relationship needs to go on hold until he fixes himself, though.

    gie
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If he doesn't have your back now, he never will. It's cruel reality but if she was raised with a father with no boundaries, she may over look the same glaring issue with her own fiance as normal. Pay attention! If there has been a strong emphasis on having Grandchild and not Children when discussing the future with your fiance? Sadly he will continue to please his mother despite of you. His goal whether he is conscious of it is to dismantle and rebuild you after marriage into the woman his mother wants: A person who can provide things for her son she can't, like sex, children, and maid service. RUN.

    Hoshi Reed
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Imagine that she wants to wait 10 years to first get her career and retirement started and the MIL wants grand children in 3. If he is willing to trade in the wedding dress, this tells me he is also willing to sabotage the birth control.

    Load More Replies...
    LH25
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bad enough that he was pressuring her to give the dress his mom picked out a chance, but to return the one she got!? Nope.

    UpQuarkDownQuark
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “We found the perfect little bungalow.” “Mom always envisioned her son in a craftsmen!” “I’m being made an associate professor” “But mother always envisioned her daughter-in-law as a part-time dental hygienist and homemaker!!” “I’d like to name the baby Jonathon Alexander.” “But Mommy always envisioned her first grandson being named Jehoshaphat Longshanks!!!”

    Ramona Jackson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Run, girl, run, MY MIL picked out out 2nd house along with my hubby while I was at work. It was 5 long miserable years of living in a place I f*****g HATED. RUN!!!

    Load More Replies...
    Raine Soo
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's the OP's wedding. She should wear the dress she chose, so she is not the a-hole. The mother-in-law already had her wedding. She should let someone else shine. Perhaps the mama's boy can wear the dress his mommy chose.

    Load More Comments
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