Man Gets Banned From Daughter-In-Law’s House After Eating A Muffin Made With Her Breast Milk
Interview
Creepy people are everywhere. There is nothing really that we can do, only to avoid them and hope to never meet them in our lives. Now, unfortunately and disgustingly, there’s a very high probability that your own family member can make you feel unsafe and really uncomfortable. Inappropriate jokes or remarks from a close family member may influence the way you see them for the rest of their lives. Meaning, it is likely you will want to avoid them for a while.
More info: Reddit
Breastfeeding is a special thing; however, it can be dirtied very fast by creepy people, especially if they are your family members
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
Woman wonders if she was wrong for calling her FIL a pervert after he ate a muffin with her breast milk
Image credits: No_Buy_4881
Image credits: Pauline Raw (not the actual photo)
This uncomfortable incident caused a lot of drama in the family
Image credits: No_Buy_4881
Image credits: Ivan Radic (not the actual photo)
Turns out FIL has a history of being very weird (not in a good way) about lactation and breastfeeding
Image credits: No_Buy_4881
The woman kicked her FIL out of their house and informed him that he is not welcome around her anymore
Recently a woman shared her story on one of the Reddit communities asking community members if it was a jerk move to call her FIL a pervert after he made inappropriate comments and ate a muffin which consisted of breast milk. The post immediately went viral and just in 3 days reached more than 17K upvotes and active discussion with more than 2.4K comments.
The author starts her story by stating that she is a new mom and is convinced that her FIL is being very weird about her breastfeeding. The first sign was a few months ago, after the woman made her baby popsicles with breast milk. She sent a photo of them to the family group chat and received an answer from as you may guess who: “I’d love to try one of those” with a heart eyes emoji. His justification was that he didn’t notice the caption stating the ingredients.
Now, the day when the story was written, the woman was baking some muffins that consisted only of fruit, flour and breast milk. To be honest, it doesn’t sound very appetizing for an adult. Not a while after, the woman’s FIL came into the kitchen. She mentioned the recipe of these muffins and added that there was a normal cake that they could eat.
After OP left the room to wash her hands, she came back and noticed that one muffin was missing. It didn’t take a very long time to figure out that FIL was the one who ate it. Following this, the author had enough, called him a creepy pervert and kicked him out of the house. Actually, her sister was the only one who agreed that it was very disgusting, while it seemed like others didn’t get the whole situation if it looked completely normal to them.
Additionally, OP added an update regarding the whole situation. Turns out FIL has always been very weird about breastfeeding, his wife always had to feed their son behind a locked door, and moreover, he even had to change jobs after a woman complained he kept intruding on her pumping in the designated area.
Image credits: Amina Filkins (not the actual photo)
However, most of the people were as disgusted and creeped out as the author. “What a terrible day to have eyes,” one user wrote. Following this, another added: “I was just thinking ‘what a shame I’m literate.'” Also, a few other commenters started discussion that FIL must have a lactation or breast milk kink: “OP needs to realize he is forcing his kink on her and respond accordingly. This isn’t just ‘weirdo’ behavior. I wouldn’t want to be in the same room as someone like him. Not for the kink itself, but because he’s using non-consenting participants.”
Additionally, Bored Panda contacted Dr. Jane Greer, who is a marriage and family therapist, psychotherapist, author and radio host, who kindly agreed to share her insights on this situation.
To begin with, Jane says that such behavior is not something that would be considered common. However, she confirmed what some folks were discussing in the comment section: “In fact, it is more likely to be considered kinky behavior; more of a selective sexual preference.”
Now, breastfeeding is a very special moment that a mother has with her baby. “Unfortunately, there is already existing discomfort and social stigma associated with breastfeeding that can then be amplified by a man sexualizing it, which can then cause feelings of shame, humiliation, and embarrassment for women,” Dr. Jane Greer emphasized.
Moreover, the expert shared suggestions on what to do in such a situation. “First, stating to the father-in-law something like ‘WOW, that makes me very uncomfortable; I am investing in the health of my baby and that makes me really uncomfortable to hear,’” she started. “Keeping in mind, confrontation can be problematic with a difficult family member like this.”
“In my book, ‘AM I LYING TO MYSELF? How To Overcome Denial and See The Truth’, I give advice on dealing with ‘difficult’ family members. This is the perfect example of a family member with whom she may need to ‘use what she knows’ and protect herself from further commentary and stay out of sight of this person when breastfeeding.”
Finally, don’t forget to check out Jane’s website, Instagram and Facebook!
Image credits: Michael Coghlan (not the actual photo)
Folks in the comments were disgusted, however, had a few questions, which were answered by the author
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Creepy creepy creepy ew ew ew kick him the f**k out
How could FIL even remotely try to justify that breastmilk is "vegan"? We're animals/mammals and breastmilk is... milk. Animal product. Hence, not vegan XD
No, that's not quite how it works. Breast milk is vegan because consent is given. That's the key, consent. However, the person most definitely did not give consent to the FIL to consume the breastmilk muffins. They are therefore NOT vegan.
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And that's the straw. My tolerance for people's insanity is officially gone.
THIS: "Apparently he moved jobs after a woman complained that he intruded on her breastfeeding in a designated space." Your father-in-law has MAJOR issues. His own wife said she would only breastfeed behind locked doors at their home. He seems to derive some perverse pleasure from breastfeeding/breastmilk. I would not be comfortable around him any longer and definitely would not want him anywhere near my child.
He's apparently doing these things whilst still in his right mind. What's going to happen once he starts to slip? He will be very, very dangerous.
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having a kink is fine, but bringing that kink around people, especially your daughter in law and her baby, is just creepy and low. No consent was given, so wtf!?
This is why the Internet exists. He can find videos to feed his obsession. Or hire a sex worker who provides those services (sex work is work, no judgment). Expecting his own family to feed (no pun intended) his kink is just foul and wrong.
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OP and husband ought to get a restraining order on that demented sleazeball of a FIL!!! SMH!!!
The FIL has no boundaries and doesn't care about consent. This situation is a violation, but he's unlikely to change. Hence, I'm with you on keeping him away from the new parents.
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Look, people can have their kinks BUT trying to involve others without their knowledge or consent into said kink (and for god's sake with babies/children involved) even indirectly is an entirely different and disgusting matter. What a terrible day to have eyes, indeed!
If he's still in his right mind and he's doing this s**t, it's going to be terrifying once he starts mentally slipping.
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My bf tried getting cute by touching my breasts after giving birth some milk went in his mouth never saw a man run to loo to be sick so fast since he sudders if I mention breastmilk lol
Has he forgotten that breast milk is what nourished him through his first months of life?
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Ok, first of all, I need that recipe. I am nursing and eventually want to do this!! On the flip side, that is so gross of your FIL. If you t have to lock someone out when you nurse, or they are peeping in on others, they need to go, go, go. I say no, no, no. I cannot fathom someone so openly getting away with crossing those boundaries and not being villified.
It’s probably just like a normal muffin recipe but you switch out the milk
Load More Replies... It bothers me that MIL ignores and downplays her husband's obsession. No, Mummy, most women do not have to lock a door to feed their baby. Most men do not get lusty watching breastfeeding women. No decent man wants to taste a fluid that comes out of his daughter-in-law's body. My father (who quite likes breasts [goes to Hooters sometimes] and I frequently catch with his hand down my mum's shirt after almost 50 years together), sits in the same room as his nieces or daughters whilst they are nursing their babies without looking at them or saying something inappropriate. He doesn't barge in; they are comfy with him and will choose to feed the babies as they're sitting and chatting with him even though they could go elsewhere. As much as he apparently likes boobs, he grasps the difference between a woman feeding an infant and a woman who has consented to display hers for his pleasure, and he has a TBI.
Absolutely. My SILs and I breastfeed around all the men in our family, teenagers, peers, boomers, and never once has anything weird or uncomfortable happened. Nothing but respect for the important job of feeding an infant being done. But also, if there was an issue, that man would be in deep, deep trouble with everyone in the family. The reason people like this gross FIL exist is bc of 0 consequences since day 1. consequences for hsi behavior since day
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So don't hate me but I have to ask - Is she certain he hasn't taken her breastmilk before? I know a lot of mom's will pump and save it and, based on the behavior's described here, it sounds very possible that FIL could have snooped around their kitchen before. Just a thought but either way, it makes total sense that she wouldn't want to be around him again, nor should she have to.
I wouldn't be surprised. He's creepily obsessed. Maybe it's better the OP doesn't think about it, as it will just increase her feelings of violation. Good they are banning him.
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It's definitely creepy behavior and non consensual, but there's a lot of implications that breast milk itself is "disgusting." I don't understand that. Do these people feel the same way about cow milk?
There's nothing disgusting about breast milk. But it's specifically formulated for infants, and it's not up for grabs for anyone who wants some. It's disgusting for a man to be obsessed with it to the point where he has to move jobs because he can't stop peeping at his coworker and his wife has to lock the door to feed an infant without interference. There's also something deeply unnatural about him wanting to consume a fluid that comes out of his daughter-in-law's body.
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okay i made a comment on the kid getting kicked out of school for the Bruce Lee t-shirt beingt he stupidest post of the week. i think i need to revise that.
I agree that the guy appears to be an utter creep but I'm also concerned as to how the mother thinks about her own milk. Phrases like "gross AF baby muffin" stand out. Wanting the breast milk for sexual reasons is gross but that doesn't make the the stuff made out of the milk gross per se.
Sounds a little pervy - but another take - don't you think it's weird that we find it quite normal to drink another species breastmilk but not our own?
No. I'm Christian and grew up in farming country. I believe that God created animals for us to consume. God expects us to treat them with care and respect (what animal products I don't help produce myself I purchase from small local family farms where the animals live free-range). Factory farms and feedlots are unnatural and abhorrent, and North Americans consume far more meat than is necessary. Daily, I eat the exact amount of protein my doctor says I need. Due to allergies and medical issues, I can't consume many plant-based proteins. But I eat 3 oz of meat for dinner, not 12. We don't waste any part of an animal. I grew up milking cows with my bare hands, helping with chicken slaughter, hog butchering, etc. My Opa taught me how to make it as painless as possible for the animal, and before we started and after we finished, we said prayers of gratitude for the animals and the nourishment their bodies would bring us. To me, that is the natural circle of life. My dream is to homestead.
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Definitely weird, though maybe not sexual (although it could well be). Maybe it's some weird misplaced thing where it makes him feel like a child again? The biggest thing out of it, is his insistence on continuing to do it. When it's obviously creeping the DIL out he's definitely crossed the line by continuing.
Breast milk popsicles for a teething baby is beyond brilliant!
Since when tf is ANY milk vegan? Seriously, that's what he went with?
Veganism isn't just "no animal products." The philosophy is "you don't take something from an animal without their consent." We milk cows for our own consumption (I can do it by hand and do drink the milk), but the cow hasn't given conscious consent, which is why vegans do not consume dairy. The FIL is doing mental gymnastics by suggesting that the OP has expressed the milk of her own free will, so he's entitled to take some. That's BS. She expressed it specifically for her own infant and nobody else. So 1) he's stealing and 2) he's consuming a fluid produced from another human's body, which is an extremely intimate thing and a huge violation if done without consent. Aside from nursing from our mothers, most humans don't consume any other person's bodily fluid except a consenting sexual partner's. (Except blood donation, but you're not drinking that).
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First of all FIL is disgusting and makes me sick. Also tbh the idea of breast milk Popsicles and muffins are gross to me. Not sure why. I know breast feeding is normal so maybe it's that she's cooking with it? I don't know
I think OP is tryna wean her child to more solid foods
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Drinking breast milk probably sounds weird but it's actually INCREDIBLY normal. I've seen moms who overproduce and use it in their meals or hot drinks because why not 🤷🏻♀️. The actual issue here is that he did it without consent which is just....creepy.
YTA. Huge possibility FIL thought you were joking. You sound like a fun one at dinner parties.
Ummm... read the whole post. He has a pattern of creepy behaviour regarding human lactation, to the point where he had to switch jobs because he was harassing a nursing coworker. His wife had to nurse her own child behind a locked door to keep him away.
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Curious if she knew of FIL's past issues with lactation before this happened? If not, I don't see an issue here. It's not like he pulled a muffin out her boob or asked for an extra squirt. What's so perverted and gross about breast milk? She's obviously proud of breastfeeding (as she should be). Most men would gag if they discovered they had consumed breast milk and it would become a running family joke for years Maybe I'm missing something here. Like I said, if she did not know of his past indiscretions then I'd have no problem. If she did know, it could be a different story. Kudos to men that don't think breast milk and/or breast feeding is gross
Remember that he'd also said he wanted to eat the breast milk popsicles. OP remembered that when he asked for a milk muffin. She offered him cake instead. Breast milk isn't disgusting or gross. It's nourishment for infants. A grown man seeking to consume his daughter-in-law's breast milk against her consent is what's perverted. Any man seeking to consume a woman's breast milk against her consent is perverted.
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It's the FIL posing as someone else trying to make it look like he isn't a perverted creepy predator...
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Creepy creepy creepy ew ew ew kick him the f**k out
How could FIL even remotely try to justify that breastmilk is "vegan"? We're animals/mammals and breastmilk is... milk. Animal product. Hence, not vegan XD
No, that's not quite how it works. Breast milk is vegan because consent is given. That's the key, consent. However, the person most definitely did not give consent to the FIL to consume the breastmilk muffins. They are therefore NOT vegan.
Load More Replies... And that's the straw. My tolerance for people's insanity is officially gone.
THIS: "Apparently he moved jobs after a woman complained that he intruded on her breastfeeding in a designated space." Your father-in-law has MAJOR issues. His own wife said she would only breastfeed behind locked doors at their home. He seems to derive some perverse pleasure from breastfeeding/breastmilk. I would not be comfortable around him any longer and definitely would not want him anywhere near my child.
He's apparently doing these things whilst still in his right mind. What's going to happen once he starts to slip? He will be very, very dangerous.
Load More Replies... having a kink is fine, but bringing that kink around people, especially your daughter in law and her baby, is just creepy and low. No consent was given, so wtf!?
This is why the Internet exists. He can find videos to feed his obsession. Or hire a sex worker who provides those services (sex work is work, no judgment). Expecting his own family to feed (no pun intended) his kink is just foul and wrong.
Load More Replies... OP and husband ought to get a restraining order on that demented sleazeball of a FIL!!! SMH!!!
The FIL has no boundaries and doesn't care about consent. This situation is a violation, but he's unlikely to change. Hence, I'm with you on keeping him away from the new parents.
Load More Replies... Look, people can have their kinks BUT trying to involve others without their knowledge or consent into said kink (and for god's sake with babies/children involved) even indirectly is an entirely different and disgusting matter. What a terrible day to have eyes, indeed!
If he's still in his right mind and he's doing this s**t, it's going to be terrifying once he starts mentally slipping.
Load More Replies... My bf tried getting cute by touching my breasts after giving birth some milk went in his mouth never saw a man run to loo to be sick so fast since he sudders if I mention breastmilk lol
Has he forgotten that breast milk is what nourished him through his first months of life?
Load More Replies... Ok, first of all, I need that recipe. I am nursing and eventually want to do this!! On the flip side, that is so gross of your FIL. If you t have to lock someone out when you nurse, or they are peeping in on others, they need to go, go, go. I say no, no, no. I cannot fathom someone so openly getting away with crossing those boundaries and not being villified.
It’s probably just like a normal muffin recipe but you switch out the milk
Load More Replies... It bothers me that MIL ignores and downplays her husband's obsession. No, Mummy, most women do not have to lock a door to feed their baby. Most men do not get lusty watching breastfeeding women. No decent man wants to taste a fluid that comes out of his daughter-in-law's body. My father (who quite likes breasts [goes to Hooters sometimes] and I frequently catch with his hand down my mum's shirt after almost 50 years together), sits in the same room as his nieces or daughters whilst they are nursing their babies without looking at them or saying something inappropriate. He doesn't barge in; they are comfy with him and will choose to feed the babies as they're sitting and chatting with him even though they could go elsewhere. As much as he apparently likes boobs, he grasps the difference between a woman feeding an infant and a woman who has consented to display hers for his pleasure, and he has a TBI.
Absolutely. My SILs and I breastfeed around all the men in our family, teenagers, peers, boomers, and never once has anything weird or uncomfortable happened. Nothing but respect for the important job of feeding an infant being done. But also, if there was an issue, that man would be in deep, deep trouble with everyone in the family. The reason people like this gross FIL exist is bc of 0 consequences since day 1. consequences for hsi behavior since day
Load More Replies... So don't hate me but I have to ask - Is she certain he hasn't taken her breastmilk before? I know a lot of mom's will pump and save it and, based on the behavior's described here, it sounds very possible that FIL could have snooped around their kitchen before. Just a thought but either way, it makes total sense that she wouldn't want to be around him again, nor should she have to.
I wouldn't be surprised. He's creepily obsessed. Maybe it's better the OP doesn't think about it, as it will just increase her feelings of violation. Good they are banning him.
Load More Replies... It's definitely creepy behavior and non consensual, but there's a lot of implications that breast milk itself is "disgusting." I don't understand that. Do these people feel the same way about cow milk?
There's nothing disgusting about breast milk. But it's specifically formulated for infants, and it's not up for grabs for anyone who wants some. It's disgusting for a man to be obsessed with it to the point where he has to move jobs because he can't stop peeping at his coworker and his wife has to lock the door to feed an infant without interference. There's also something deeply unnatural about him wanting to consume a fluid that comes out of his daughter-in-law's body.
Load More Replies... okay i made a comment on the kid getting kicked out of school for the Bruce Lee t-shirt beingt he stupidest post of the week. i think i need to revise that.
I agree that the guy appears to be an utter creep but I'm also concerned as to how the mother thinks about her own milk. Phrases like "gross AF baby muffin" stand out. Wanting the breast milk for sexual reasons is gross but that doesn't make the the stuff made out of the milk gross per se.
Sounds a little pervy - but another take - don't you think it's weird that we find it quite normal to drink another species breastmilk but not our own?
No. I'm Christian and grew up in farming country. I believe that God created animals for us to consume. God expects us to treat them with care and respect (what animal products I don't help produce myself I purchase from small local family farms where the animals live free-range). Factory farms and feedlots are unnatural and abhorrent, and North Americans consume far more meat than is necessary. Daily, I eat the exact amount of protein my doctor says I need. Due to allergies and medical issues, I can't consume many plant-based proteins. But I eat 3 oz of meat for dinner, not 12. We don't waste any part of an animal. I grew up milking cows with my bare hands, helping with chicken slaughter, hog butchering, etc. My Opa taught me how to make it as painless as possible for the animal, and before we started and after we finished, we said prayers of gratitude for the animals and the nourishment their bodies would bring us. To me, that is the natural circle of life. My dream is to homestead.
Load More Replies... Definitely weird, though maybe not sexual (although it could well be). Maybe it's some weird misplaced thing where it makes him feel like a child again? The biggest thing out of it, is his insistence on continuing to do it. When it's obviously creeping the DIL out he's definitely crossed the line by continuing.
Breast milk popsicles for a teething baby is beyond brilliant!
Since when tf is ANY milk vegan? Seriously, that's what he went with?
Veganism isn't just "no animal products." The philosophy is "you don't take something from an animal without their consent." We milk cows for our own consumption (I can do it by hand and do drink the milk), but the cow hasn't given conscious consent, which is why vegans do not consume dairy. The FIL is doing mental gymnastics by suggesting that the OP has expressed the milk of her own free will, so he's entitled to take some. That's BS. She expressed it specifically for her own infant and nobody else. So 1) he's stealing and 2) he's consuming a fluid produced from another human's body, which is an extremely intimate thing and a huge violation if done without consent. Aside from nursing from our mothers, most humans don't consume any other person's bodily fluid except a consenting sexual partner's. (Except blood donation, but you're not drinking that).
Load More Replies... First of all FIL is disgusting and makes me sick. Also tbh the idea of breast milk Popsicles and muffins are gross to me. Not sure why. I know breast feeding is normal so maybe it's that she's cooking with it? I don't know
I think OP is tryna wean her child to more solid foods
Load More Replies... Drinking breast milk probably sounds weird but it's actually INCREDIBLY normal. I've seen moms who overproduce and use it in their meals or hot drinks because why not 🤷🏻♀️. The actual issue here is that he did it without consent which is just....creepy.
YTA. Huge possibility FIL thought you were joking. You sound like a fun one at dinner parties.
Ummm... read the whole post. He has a pattern of creepy behaviour regarding human lactation, to the point where he had to switch jobs because he was harassing a nursing coworker. His wife had to nurse her own child behind a locked door to keep him away.
Load More Replies... Curious if she knew of FIL's past issues with lactation before this happened? If not, I don't see an issue here. It's not like he pulled a muffin out her boob or asked for an extra squirt. What's so perverted and gross about breast milk? She's obviously proud of breastfeeding (as she should be). Most men would gag if they discovered they had consumed breast milk and it would become a running family joke for years Maybe I'm missing something here. Like I said, if she did not know of his past indiscretions then I'd have no problem. If she did know, it could be a different story. Kudos to men that don't think breast milk and/or breast feeding is gross
Remember that he'd also said he wanted to eat the breast milk popsicles. OP remembered that when he asked for a milk muffin. She offered him cake instead. Breast milk isn't disgusting or gross. It's nourishment for infants. A grown man seeking to consume his daughter-in-law's breast milk against her consent is what's perverted. Any man seeking to consume a woman's breast milk against her consent is perverted.
Load More Replies... It's the FIL posing as someone else trying to make it look like he isn't a perverted creepy predator...
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