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“Am I The Jerk For Breaking Up With My Fiancé Over An Ultimatum Over My Ring?”
Every relationship is different, and partners have to do their best to work on their current bond while accepting their loved one’s past. This can be difficult for some folks, especially if their significant other was widowed, as there might be a lot of heavy emotions tied to that.
This is what happened to one couple because the woman always kept her first wedding ring close, but didn’t realize how much it was affecting her fiancé. She later realized his true feelings after he stole her ring and played innocent about it.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
People might find it tough to accept how widowed people commemorate their previous partner, but it’s important to respect their show of love
Image credits: stefamerpik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster explained that she had lost her first husband after nine years of being together and that she still wore her wedding ring and visited his resting place
Image credits: littlenoodlesoup / Reddit (not the actual photo)
The woman’s new partner, Matthew, had always been supportive, until he proposed and asked her if she was going to get rid of her first wedding ring
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Luckily, the poster’s mother-in-law gifted her a gold necklace to hold her first ring, but it ended up going missing, and Matthew even helped her look for it
Image credits: Alena Darmel / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Matthew’s mom later visited the heartbroken poster and returned the necklace, stating that she had found it in a secret box that he had given her for safekeeping
Image credits: mountain_icecream
The grief-stricken woman couldn’t believe her fiancé would do such a sneaky thing, so she blocked him, packed up her stuff, and went to her mom’s house
The poster had been through an incredibly tough experience as a 25-year-old when she lost her husband and childhood sweetheart. That’s why she took two years to focus on herself before even dipping her toes again in the dating pool, and that’s when she met Matthew, with whom she was able to build a new connection.
Most experts can attest to the fact that losing someone you love is often a lonely and painful experience, especially when it’s your spouse. When this kind of loss happens, folks might find themselves struggling with their physical and mental well-being, as well as a lack of understanding from others about the way they want to grieve.
Luckily for the poster, her partner, Matthew, had been supportive of her visiting her spouse’s resting place twice a month and even came with her to pay his respects. The problems only began after he proposed, and he expected her to get rid of her first wedding ring, which she obviously refused to do.
According to professionals, it’s important for the widowed person to figure out how they want to honor the spouse they lost, and some people do it by always keeping their wedding ring nearby. Whether a person wants to sell it, store it, or keep wearing it after they remarry is totally up to them, as it is a part of their grieving process.
Image credits: user4455122 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Unfortunately, Matthew didn’t seem to understand how important the ring was to his fiancée, and it’s possible he got insecure that she was going to keep wearing it as part of her necklace. That’s why he secretly stole it, kept it in a box, and gave it to his mom for safekeeping, without telling her what was really inside.
Even though the man shouldn’t have given in to his emotions like that, it’s important to understand that jealousy is normal in situations like this, experts state. The new partners of widowed people might feel like they’re competing with a memory and that they’ll never be enough, which is why they may feel insecure.
Rather than letting such negative emotions fester, it’s better that they talk to their partner about their feelings so that something can be done about them. The problem is that Matthew didn’t talk to the OP at all and went about things all wrong by sneakily taking away her ring and then pretending to help her look for it.
Luckily for the poster, her mother-in-law was on her side and let her know about Matthew’s actions. That’s why she packed her bags and left for her mom’s house, without giving him a chance to explain why he had done such a heinous thing. The problem is that even though she had dealt with so much, her friends kept pestering her to talk to him and figure things out.
Do you think that the woman should give Matthew a chance to explain his side of things? Let us know your honest thoughts down below.
People sided with the woman and felt that her ex-fiancé had gone too far by stealing and hiding her ring
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What do you think ?
Earonn - 6 hours ago
Her having packed all her things and leaving behind her ring makes pretty much clear that she left out of her own free will. Of course, her ex will run around and claim that his "crazy ex" "left without any reason or sign beforehand". And don't get me started on the "you're not ready to date yet". Nobody would bother her if she visited her dead father's grave, but once it's the man she loved and married, she's supposed to erase him from her life? Fvck that. And fvck "Matthew".
Binky Melnik 4 hours ago
People who are jealous of dеad folks make me laugh. They’re dеad; you’re still alive, so you’ve WON! Your beloved can’t go be with them, so what are you jealous about? Having said all this, though, she seems too enmeshed with the dеad husband, so it’s just as well this guy turned out to be a dud; she still has healing and recovery to do. I think she’s lucky this guy turned out to be an аsshole.
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Jack 2 hours ago
The thing about widows and widowers is that they didn't get dumped. There was no fight. They didn't break up. Their love was stolen from them. Their deceased spouse did not stop loving them. You don't stop loving someone just because they're dead, but it does change how you love them. She's accepted the death, but acceptance doesn't mean we erase the past. If you date someone who is widowed, you are not competing with a ghost, but you must learn to live with that ghost just as much as their former spouse. It's not easy, and it's not for the insecure and cowardly. Still loving their lost one doesn't prevent them from finding love again. Hearts expand to include it all, if you're brave enough.
Ian Shaw 40 minutes ago
I was going to post something similar but this eloquent and I am just going to state my agreement.
Load More Replies...
Janelle Collard 6 hours ago (edited)
OP's very lucky AH Matthew the gave the ring to his mom and didn't throw it away. OP is obviously NTA for cutting Matthew totally out of her life + I hope she got a new phone number. Matt was jealous of OP's late husband + tried to erase him from OP's life.
Earonn - 6 hours ago
Her having packed all her things and leaving behind her ring makes pretty much clear that she left out of her own free will. Of course, her ex will run around and claim that his "crazy ex" "left without any reason or sign beforehand". And don't get me started on the "you're not ready to date yet". Nobody would bother her if she visited her dead father's grave, but once it's the man she loved and married, she's supposed to erase him from her life? Fvck that. And fvck "Matthew".
Binky Melnik 4 hours ago
People who are jealous of dеad folks make me laugh. They’re dеad; you’re still alive, so you’ve WON! Your beloved can’t go be with them, so what are you jealous about? Having said all this, though, she seems too enmeshed with the dеad husband, so it’s just as well this guy turned out to be a dud; she still has healing and recovery to do. I think she’s lucky this guy turned out to be an аsshole.
Load More Replies... Jack 2 hours ago
The thing about widows and widowers is that they didn't get dumped. There was no fight. They didn't break up. Their love was stolen from them. Their deceased spouse did not stop loving them. You don't stop loving someone just because they're dead, but it does change how you love them. She's accepted the death, but acceptance doesn't mean we erase the past. If you date someone who is widowed, you are not competing with a ghost, but you must learn to live with that ghost just as much as their former spouse. It's not easy, and it's not for the insecure and cowardly. Still loving their lost one doesn't prevent them from finding love again. Hearts expand to include it all, if you're brave enough.
Ian Shaw 40 minutes ago
I was going to post something similar but this eloquent and I am just going to state my agreement.
Load More Replies... Janelle Collard 6 hours ago (edited)
OP's very lucky AH Matthew the gave the ring to his mom and didn't throw it away. OP is obviously NTA for cutting Matthew totally out of her life + I hope she got a new phone number. Matt was jealous of OP's late husband + tried to erase him from OP's life.
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