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Heartbroken Woman Asks, “[Am I The Jerk] For Breaking Up A 36 Year Marriage Over A Photograph?”
Trust is everything in a relationship, because without it, insecurities can creep in, and both people might always wonder about the other person’s intentions. This is especially true if one partner is purposely keeping a secret and the other individual suspects them.
This is what was happening in one marriage where a woman felt her husband was dating someone else on the side. He kept denying an affair even though the poster had seen pictures of him with another woman, but twelve years later, he got caught most ridiculously.
More info: Reddit
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Cheaters always try to lie to protect themselves, but they don’t seem to realize how much pain they are causing the other person
Image credits: throw-awayaccount426
The poster shared that she and her husband had separated after 20 years of being together, due to his insecurities, but they began dating again 4 years later
Image credits: zinkevych / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman and her husband dated each other exclusively for 12 years, but she felt suspicious as she kept seeing photos of him with another woman online
Image credits: prostock-studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
For 12 years, the poster couldn’t act on her suspicions because her husband kept insisting that the woman was posting old pictures of him with her
Image credits: throw-awayaccount426
She eventually decided to break up with him when she found a picture of him with the other woman, wearing a baseball cap that he had recently bought
It’s clear that the poster and her husband had a tumultuous relationship right from the start, and that his insecurities had played a huge role in their separation. Even though they tried to make a go of it apart, they eventually found their way back to each other and decided to date exclusively.
The only problem was that the man had probably not worked on himself and still seemed to be keeping things from the OP. That’s why couples therapists say that when relationships need to be fixed, trust is the only thing that can mend the bond once again. By lying, keeping secrets, or trying to be the perfect partner, it’s not possible to have a sustainable connection.
This is exactly what seemed to be happening with the poster’s husband, because he was supposed to break up with the woman he was seeing during the separation, but social media showed otherwise. Unfortunately for the OP, she kept coming across photos of her husband with the other woman, but she couldn’t prove for sure if they were new or old pictures.
A lot of the woman’s worry stemmed from the fact that her husband could still be dating the other lady, which is why experts usually advise people not to openly date while they are separated. This is because it can take away a person’s focus from actually mending their marriage, and tempt them to nurture other connections, just like this man must have done.
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster knew about the relationship her husband had had with the other woman, and since she followed her on social media, she was shocked when she kept seeing photos of the two of them online. The problem is that whenever she confronted her partner about it, he kept saying that the pictures were old and that he wasn’t in touch with the woman at all.
This was proven to be false when the OP noticed her husband in another photo with the woman, wearing a baseball cap that he had recently bought. That made it very clear to her that it was a recent photo, and she decided to end things with him, even though he kept insisting that the picture was faked.
It’s extremely clear that the man had been caught in his web of lies and that he didn’t want to own up to his 12-year-long affair. It’s surprising when people continue to lie even after being caught, but research states that this pattern of dishonesty could actually be some kind of coping mechanism.
Unfortunately, there is no space for such lies in a healthy relationship, which is why the OP decided she wanted to break up with her husband. Although there is hope for couples to repair their bond, even in severe situations like this, they should be open to therapy and self-work, which this man certainly was not.
Do you think the OP did the right thing by finally deciding to dump her husband? Do share how you would have handled this situation if you were in her place.
Folks were shocked by the man’s deceit and were glad that the poster decided to cut him out of her life
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What do you think ?
Tabitha 2 months ago (edited)
WTF is it with men when their wives earn more? A woman whose husband earns more is proud of his achievements, so why can’t a man whose wife earns more do the same. Remember men, she chose YOU over all the other guys she knew. That doesn’t necessarily change when she moves up the ladder at work and starts earning more than you. She STILL chooses YOU. However, if you decide to be an a*****e about it all on your own, even though she still wants to be with you—-wants to, not needs to, there’s a big difference—-then the failure of the relationship is all on you, and none of the blame is hers. She did her best and still wanted to be with you, but you just couldn’t handle being with a successful woman, even though that should be considered a feather in your cap, and broke a perfectly good relationship with a perfectly lovely woman because of your little brain ‘s stupid ego. TBH, a man who does that is absolutely not worthy of a woman like her. She will move on and find a man who applauds her every success and is proud and considers it the highest compliment that someone like her chooses someone like him of her own free will.
Gozer LeGozerian 2 months ago
They feel emasculated due to the societal structure they themselves invented; patriarchy
Load More Replies...
Janelle Collard 2 months ago
Good for OP for finally getting out. I'd save that picture in case her ex decides to blame OP for the divorce, then I'd put it all over social media, send it as an email attachment, etc., to everyone ex-hubs knows. Cheaters deserve to be outted and to get all the bad stuff thrown at them.
Binky Melnik 2 months ago
Remember that they didn’t remarry each other after their divorce; they were living separately and seeing each other. (Turns out to have been the right move!) (Although reuniting with him in the first place seems not to have been.) I didn’t see her mention so much as ONE THING he brings to the table, so I’m happy she’s free to go get herself some happiness!
Load More Replies...
Tabitha 2 months ago (edited)
WTF is it with men when their wives earn more? A woman whose husband earns more is proud of his achievements, so why can’t a man whose wife earns more do the same. Remember men, she chose YOU over all the other guys she knew. That doesn’t necessarily change when she moves up the ladder at work and starts earning more than you. She STILL chooses YOU. However, if you decide to be an a*****e about it all on your own, even though she still wants to be with you—-wants to, not needs to, there’s a big difference—-then the failure of the relationship is all on you, and none of the blame is hers. She did her best and still wanted to be with you, but you just couldn’t handle being with a successful woman, even though that should be considered a feather in your cap, and broke a perfectly good relationship with a perfectly lovely woman because of your little brain ‘s stupid ego. TBH, a man who does that is absolutely not worthy of a woman like her. She will move on and find a man who applauds her every success and is proud and considers it the highest compliment that someone like her chooses someone like him of her own free will.
Gozer LeGozerian 2 months ago
They feel emasculated due to the societal structure they themselves invented; patriarchy
Load More Replies... Janelle Collard 2 months ago
Good for OP for finally getting out. I'd save that picture in case her ex decides to blame OP for the divorce, then I'd put it all over social media, send it as an email attachment, etc., to everyone ex-hubs knows. Cheaters deserve to be outted and to get all the bad stuff thrown at them.
Binky Melnik 2 months ago
Remember that they didn’t remarry each other after their divorce; they were living separately and seeing each other. (Turns out to have been the right move!) (Although reuniting with him in the first place seems not to have been.) I didn’t see her mention so much as ONE THING he brings to the table, so I’m happy she’s free to go get herself some happiness!
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