Guy Accuses Fiancée Of Breaking Up With Him Because He’s Dumb, Internet Says He Has A Point
There are many reasons why couples break up. Likewise, there are more or less as many reactions one could have to a breakup.
And when it turns out that the reason is “we just don’t have that much in common” and it gets re-interpreted into “oh, you just dumb,” you can bet the reaction is going to be of appropriate intensity. Like gathering up all your friends and trashing your ex’s apartment. Yeah, that’ll show her who’s the smart one!
Breakups are often an extremely negative experience, but they can be tackled into a positive resolution
Image credits: Gül Işık / pexels (not the actual photo)
Or so it seemed for this woman whose breakup seemed fine, but turned into a spontaneous trashing of her place
Image credits: Daniel Gutko / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Samson Katt / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: anonymous user
The issue was passed on over to the Reddit community for debate and, honestly, she dodged a bullet there
A woman recently sought perspective from the internet over a breakup she had. She was engaged to a guy who, at first, seemed like the complete opposite to her, but that’s what she needed, given her strict academic background. Well, she soon understood that they didn’t have all that much in common otherwise. The boyfriend was also misinterpreting some of the things she said, which only added fuel to the fire that was the breakup and the subsequent destruction of her place.
Redditors didn’t hesitate in saying that she dodged a bullet with him. His response with violence to a breakup is unacceptable no matter how you look at it. In fact, folks were worried for her life and even suggested turning to the police for help—at the very least, to charge him for trashing her place.
While there is the belief that opposites attract, it’s common interests that actually create a long-lasting bond
The importance of shared interests can’t be overstated. Traditionally speaking, commitment was for the longest time tied to physical attraction and the ability to tolerate specific traits. This, however, doesn’t really consider things like significant lifestyle differences. And now that can lead to conflict.
Conflict comes from incompatible interests—no matter if it’s hobbies, topics of conversation and the like. And if neither of the partners are willing or are able to tolerate these differences, then they won’t be willing to invest themselves into the relationship either.
Tolerance is ultimately a subjective affair. If it isn’t the case of the Sisyphus boulder where nothing will change, then it might just be a situation in which the partner will run out of tolerance for this demand for change. This means that, in the long run, it’s wiser to avoid investing yourself into changing intolerable traits like lifestyle habits.
On the other hand, couples that share interests end up with smoother and stronger relationships. The bond is stronger and both find it easier to live with each other. There is a sense of unity and mutual understanding being fostered because of this.
So, OP seems to have done the right thing. And the internet agrees. But what are your thoughts? Share them in the comment section below!
Folks were all for the author of the post right off the bat, declaring she is absolutely in the clear
There were, however, some devil’s advocates sharing mixed opinions about the whole situation
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I don't think him being uninformed about current matters or not reading enough was the reason they separated, but it's the easiest to pinpoint for OP. I am married to a man who rarely follows the news, doesn't read and isn't as intellectually inclined as I am. We have vastly different interests. But we have the same values, and I think that's the problem here. OP and her ex don't have compatible values. He's disrespectful against her by not allowing her to share her day, doesn't listen if she's trying to tell something about her, and a huge red flag: uses social pressure to make her agree to things and to punish her if she goes against his wishes. That has nothing to do with intelligence, it is all about value. I listen to my partner when he tells me about his day, and he listens to me. We both now, talking about our accomplishments isn't bragging. And while we might not care for each other's interests, we care for each other's joy. That's what's missing here.
I feel like the real problem she’s trying to address here is that he has absolutely no interest in things she likes and doesn’t want to hear about them. Basically he’s not really interested in her as a person.
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Anyone who brings friends over to trash your place is no one you want to be spending time with. This guy sounds immature, at best. That said, I have no idea why she'd string this guy along for an entire YEAR. If you aren't compatible, you'll know that in the first year, FFS. They're both a$$holes.
He was an experience. He allowed her to broad her horizons and mature enough to decide what's the best for herself and to be able to project towards the long term future. There are partners you date but wouldn't marry because while you love them, you can build anything solid on your shared foundations. Ho and 1 year is nothing in term of relationship. Please my sis' has had teenager crushes that lasted longer 🙄. And my advice would be : don't get married until you have LIVED 3 years minimum with your partner. Living together truly is the make or break point of relationships
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I don't think him being uninformed about current matters or not reading enough was the reason they separated, but it's the easiest to pinpoint for OP. I am married to a man who rarely follows the news, doesn't read and isn't as intellectually inclined as I am. We have vastly different interests. But we have the same values, and I think that's the problem here. OP and her ex don't have compatible values. He's disrespectful against her by not allowing her to share her day, doesn't listen if she's trying to tell something about her, and a huge red flag: uses social pressure to make her agree to things and to punish her if she goes against his wishes. That has nothing to do with intelligence, it is all about value. I listen to my partner when he tells me about his day, and he listens to me. We both now, talking about our accomplishments isn't bragging. And while we might not care for each other's interests, we care for each other's joy. That's what's missing here.
I feel like the real problem she’s trying to address here is that he has absolutely no interest in things she likes and doesn’t want to hear about them. Basically he’s not really interested in her as a person.
Load More Replies... Anyone who brings friends over to trash your place is no one you want to be spending time with. This guy sounds immature, at best. That said, I have no idea why she'd string this guy along for an entire YEAR. If you aren't compatible, you'll know that in the first year, FFS. They're both a$$holes.
He was an experience. He allowed her to broad her horizons and mature enough to decide what's the best for herself and to be able to project towards the long term future. There are partners you date but wouldn't marry because while you love them, you can build anything solid on your shared foundations. Ho and 1 year is nothing in term of relationship. Please my sis' has had teenager crushes that lasted longer 🙄. And my advice would be : don't get married until you have LIVED 3 years minimum with your partner. Living together truly is the make or break point of relationships
Load More Replies...
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