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“Tears Each Christmas”: Man Ruins Christmas For Wife Every Year, Pushes Her To Consider Divorce
“Tears Each Christmas”: Man Ruins Christmas For Wife Every Year, Pushes Her To Consider Divorce
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“Tears Each Christmas”: Man Ruins Christmas For Wife Every Year, Pushes Her To Consider Divorce

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Any successful relationship is about compromise, but there are always people who are so set in their ways that they don’t even realize how annoying it can be. Even worse, they might not see how their preferences end up being so stiffing that their partners start to second guess the entire relationship.

A woman wondered if she really needed to end her marriage over her husband’s stubbornness over how they celebrate Christmas. No matter what she suggested, he had to have everything be the same, year after year. We reached out to her via private message and will update the article when she gets back to us.

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    Every couple has to make certain compromises on how they celebrate Christmas

    Woman feeling upset during Christmas, sitting in front of a decorated tree.

    Image credits: Zinkevych_D / envato (not the actual photo)

    But one wife was exhausted from the fact that her husband wouldn’t budge on anything

    Text discussing marital struggles around Christmas, with a woman considering divorce after years of holiday tensions.

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    Text discussing family Christmas memories and traditions, including singing, games, and dinner preparation.

    Text describing husband's childhood Christmas traditions with gifts and TV.

    Text describing emotional Christmas experiences and marital challenges.

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    Text describing family Christmas conflicts leading to consideration of divorce.

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    Text about holiday struggles and communication issues in a relationship.

    Text expressing disappointment and dread about Christmas celebrations in a family setting.

    Text expressing thoughts on divorce due to recurring holiday issues in marriage.

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    Children exchanging Christmas gifts near a decorated tree, capturing the festive spirit.

    Image credits: monkeybusiness / envato (not the actual photo)

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    She shared an update later

    Text update discussing family priorities and challenges, including diagnosis and financial considerations for children.

    Text about marital issues and vacations, highlighting holiday problems and a man's reluctance compared to his wife's enthusiasm.

    Text on screen discussing willingness to attend couples therapy, highlighting relationship challenges.

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    Text discussing challenges of traveling with kids during Christmas.

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    Text about stress of balancing work, kids, and a difficult marriage during Christmas.

    Image credits: ThrowRA_Xmasblues

    The husband does have some traits associated with autism

    Some of the behaviors the husband exhibits do resemble common symptoms of autism, namely, a resistance to change and wanting to repeat certain actions. There are a lot of stubborn people out there, but folks with autism tend to feel and exhibit actual distress if they have to modify a common habit, like taking a new route to school or changing their diet. The mention of certain vegetables as part of Christmas dinner is quite telling here.

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    Similarly, people with autism tend to also enjoy repeated behaviors, in a very literal sense. Often these can be small things, like fidgeting or rocking in place, but it’s possible to see how the husband’s very particular ideas about different parts of celebrating Christmas could fall under this category.

    However, it’s also worth adding that even if he does have autism, this isn’t an excuse to be totally uncompromising about this. His wife states that she started dreading Christmas each year, this should not be a feeling you cause your spouse to feel. It’s not like he hasn’t communicated this, she describes bringing it up on multiple occasions to no avail. It’s not at all strange to feel unhappy if your partner continues to do something you don’t like.

    Ignoring your partner’s wishes over and over again is selfish

    Woman contemplating Christmas dinner, looking thoughtful and pensive, symbolizing holiday strain and marital tension.

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    Image credit: RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo)

    This highlights just how important compromise is in a relationship. Certainly, if someone feels like their entire relationship is just one compromise after another, it seems like it’s not a particularly successful relationship. Everyone has certain lines they will not cross, but this seems like an exceedingly strange hill to die on for the husband.

    After all, it doesn’t seem like what she was asking for was that extreme. It’s not like it’s a choice between having some sort of celebration or nothing, or perhaps some very outlandish tradition. However, the fact that he can’t at all back down from a single thing is, ultimately, selfish. Because it seems like he is the only one who actually benefits from the very strict Christmas outline he has in his head.

    The kids don’t seem to care about it and his wife dislikes it, so there doesn’t seem to be any real reason to maintain it. He also calls her things like “unreasonable” just for asking to do something a bit differently. This is, at best, unpleasant behavior, particularly coming from a man who is being entirely unreasonable.

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    This just highlights the importance of compromise and communication. The wife adds an important point for anyone reading a story like this, that we are only seeing a glimpse into a marriage that is 365 days a year. Even if it’s a “minor” point like this, having your preferences just ignored over and over again will end up causing a lot of strain in any relationship.

    Netizens rushed to the comments to support her

    Reddit comment criticizing a man for being selfish and ruining Christmas for his wife.

    A Reddit comment about Christmas struggles and autism affecting a marriage.

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    Text comment on Reddit discussing excuses and behavior during Christmas.

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    Comment criticizing a man for ruining Christmas, suggesting he's grasping at excuses.

    Text comment expressing a perspective on autism and behavior differences.

    Reddit comment criticizing a man for ruining Christmas, advising his wife to not serve holiday dinner to him.

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    Text discussing how a man disrupts Christmas for his wife, advice for handling holiday stress.

    User comment discussing conflict during Christmas and considering divorce.

    Reddit comment discussing issues with a selfish partner, implying potential divorce consideration during Christmas.

    Reddit comment questioning unilateral decision-making in a relationship during Christmas.

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    Text advice on resolving Christmas traditions conflict in a family setting.

    A Reddit comment discussing feigned behavior during Christmas events.

    Text about handling Christmas changes, relationship struggles, and considering divorce.

    Comment screenshot about selfish behavior impacting Christmas and marriage.

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    Text post discussing relationship challenges and lack of compromise during Christmas.

    Comment criticizing role modeling during Christmas conflict.

    Comment discussing Christmas conflict between a husband and wife.

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    Justin Sandberg

    Justin Sandberg

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

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    Justin Sandberg

    Justin Sandberg

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

    What do you think ?
    Superb Owl
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Using autism as an excuse to be another a-word (rhymes with coal), great job!

    PeepPeep the duck
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This depends though, we had a guy in our mermaid troop in Perth who was genuinely autistic and would use it any excuse whenever he could for a lot of bad stuff he did, me and my bff had to kick him from the group for trying to say very very very bad sexual things to a 13 yr old girl who wanted to be a mermaid for a day.

    Load More Replies...
    James016
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tell him to get an assessment from a specialist or GTFO.

    Caitlin
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But getting a diagnosis won’t change the fact that he’s being an a*****e.

    Load More Replies...
    Jac Carr
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like he's using autism as an excuse for his controlling behaviour; unless there are other signs, he's not autistic, he just can't stand not getting his own way

    Load More Comments
    Superb Owl
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Using autism as an excuse to be another a-word (rhymes with coal), great job!

    PeepPeep the duck
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This depends though, we had a guy in our mermaid troop in Perth who was genuinely autistic and would use it any excuse whenever he could for a lot of bad stuff he did, me and my bff had to kick him from the group for trying to say very very very bad sexual things to a 13 yr old girl who wanted to be a mermaid for a day.

    Load More Replies...
    James016
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tell him to get an assessment from a specialist or GTFO.

    Caitlin
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But getting a diagnosis won’t change the fact that he’s being an a*****e.

    Load More Replies...
    Jac Carr
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like he's using autism as an excuse for his controlling behaviour; unless there are other signs, he's not autistic, he just can't stand not getting his own way

    Load More Comments
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