Guy Doesn’t Understand The Meaning Of Hygiene, His GF Puts Up With It For 2 Years
Interview With Expert
I am pretty sure most of you would list personal hygiene as one of the most important things that you notice about a person or look for in a partner. Even if for somebody it’s not the main aspect, to some extent it is important to everybody – nobody really likes to be near an ‘unclean’ person. However, personal hygiene not only can make us look more attractive, cleaner and ‘put together’ but it can also help us to not get sick and spread germs.
Well, as you can imagine, having horrific personal hygiene may be quite a deal breaker in a relationship as well. For example, one Reddit user shared her story seeking help online after she kept asking her boyfriend to fix his personal hygiene, but nothing seems to be improving.
More info: Reddit
Personal hygiene is important to keep not only for yourself but also for the sake of others
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
Woman shares that she noticed her now boyfriend’s poor personal hygiene even before they got together, but she let it slide
Image credits: Kenny Eliason (not the actual photo)
However, after a few months of being together, she noticed it much more – awful oral hygiene and constantly dirty sheets
Image credits: Towfiqu barbhuiya (not the actual photo)
She shared that she has talked about this with him many times and despite a little improvement, it is still happening
Image credits: DoobieTiger
She asked people online to share some advice as it’s not getting better and looks like her boyfriend is just comfortable being gross
Recently, one Reddit user shared her situation to one of its communities, explaining that she has allowed her boyfriend’s bad hygiene go mostly unnoticed for 2 years, leading to him not even trying to change or work on it and asked for some advice online. The post caught a lot of attention, collecting over 12K upvotes and almost 4K comments.
The original poster (OP) starts her story by explaining that she has been with her boyfriend for over 2 years now, but his bad personal hygiene was hard to not notice from the beginning. However, as time went by, it became more and more noticeable – he barely brushes his teeth and doesn’t wipe his butt properly, which leads to stained sheets.
OP added that she has told him more than once that it affects her and he needs to change it. She noted that her boyfriend is a large guy, which may make this more complicated for him, but it’s just been too long.
People online shared some suggestions for solving this situation: “He is comfortable being gross, and is dismissing your discomfort because you’re continuing to put up with it. By staying with him as he is, you’re showing him that his level of hygiene is acceptable to you,” one user wrote. “Bidet. If anyone needs one it’s this guy,” another suggested.
Image credits: Burst (not the actual photo)
“Personal hygiene is a real area in a relationship. Pheromone and smell are important for attraction to the opposite sex,” shared Danielle Bennett, an individual counsellor, couple therapist and sex therapist, with Bored Panda. “However, too much of a good thing can have an adverse reaction and put off intimacy.”
Speaking about how people can address their partners’ poor hygiene without causing a conflict, Bennet emphasized that her clients have asked her to talk to their partners about their hygiene and their personal habits. “I usually do this through a tool called the Arousal Circuit, this allows the couple to talk in terms of what helps arousal and what is a distraction. Looking at their views through each sense, a couple can discuss in a contained non-critical way what helps them get turned on and what is a distraction.”
Now, she pointed out that smell is a very powerful sense- it can take you back to a time, a place, a memory, just like hearing a song. “Neglecting personal hygiene can lead to conditions such as balanitis, smegma, phimosis and even sexually transmitted infections or an urinary tract infection.”
“Women are also prone to smegma, it is important to acknowledge that this is not an STD but poor hygiene,” she explained. “Women do have a natural discharge and it does have a mild natural scent. Changes can happen due to hormones, where you are in your cycle, as well as what you’ve eaten, like garlic or fish.”
Finally, speaking about potential long-term consequences of neglecting personal hygiene within a relationship, Danielle Bennet pointed out that emotionally, not feeling attractive or being hyper aware of smell is an issue that faces both sexes. “We are supposed to smell, but the scent is mild.”
So, guys, don’t neglect your personal hygiene – brush your teeth, floss, shower, wipe everything and wash your hands – not only for yourself but for your partner. But what is your take on this story? What would you suggest to the woman? Share your thoughts below!
Redditors joked about this situation but also felt for woman
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My ex is a large guy ( 350 lbs and 5 ft 8 inch ) he NEVER had an issue wiping his butt. I also have a female friend who is obese and she never smells .This sounds like complete laziness on the boyfriends part. His parents most likely struggled with this when he was growing up. They probably had to fight him every single bath time. I know it is hard but I would seriously think about ended the relationship. This is not going to change and will only get worse as time goes on. This is a deal breaker as far as relationship go.
There is also a chance his parents never cared and stunk as well. It's possible he was never taught. HOWEVER once someone tells you not once but several times and he doesn't change, I agree. He's a lazy S O B and doesn't care.
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An adult is very unlikely to change hygiene habits unless they want to
I'm surprised she's not sick, often. UTI's? If he doesn't wash/wipe his butt, does he EVEN wash his hands? You share food with this man? Can you imagine having a baby/children with someone like this? Besides infection, he's not about to teach THEM hygiene, since his own is unimportant to him!
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Install a bidet. Then ditch him. If he doesn't take care of himself, he won't take care of you.
Even worse imagine how he would take care of a child..
Load More Replies... My ex is a large guy ( 350 lbs and 5 ft 8 inch ) he NEVER had an issue wiping his butt. I also have a female friend who is obese and she never smells .This sounds like complete laziness on the boyfriends part. His parents most likely struggled with this when he was growing up. They probably had to fight him every single bath time. I know it is hard but I would seriously think about ended the relationship. This is not going to change and will only get worse as time goes on. This is a deal breaker as far as relationship go.
There is also a chance his parents never cared and stunk as well. It's possible he was never taught. HOWEVER once someone tells you not once but several times and he doesn't change, I agree. He's a lazy S O B and doesn't care.
Load More Replies... An adult is very unlikely to change hygiene habits unless they want to
I'm surprised she's not sick, often. UTI's? If he doesn't wash/wipe his butt, does he EVEN wash his hands? You share food with this man? Can you imagine having a baby/children with someone like this? Besides infection, he's not about to teach THEM hygiene, since his own is unimportant to him!
Load More Replies... Install a bidet. Then ditch him. If he doesn't take care of himself, he won't take care of you.
Even worse imagine how he would take care of a child..
Load More Replies...
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