“Want A Trophy Girl”: Guy Tells GF Her Style Is Horrendous, She Breaks Down And Explains Why

There’s nothing inherently wrong with critiquing the clothing choices of a significant other. But if you must go down that road, do so in a way that comes off as constructive rather than hurtful. 

This man shows exactly how not to go about it. While he appeared to have good intentions toward his girlfriend, his delivery of the message was insulting and demeaning. 

Worse, he saw nothing wrong with his choice of words until the internet gave him a much-needed reminder on tactfulness and respect, especially toward a significant other. You will find the entire story below, along with comments from readers who gave it to him straight. 

Critiquing a significant other’s choices must be done constructively and respectfully

Woman in colorful style with bright pink scarf and yellow jacket, highlighting girlfriend style and childhood trauma themes.

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

This man, however, did the exact opposite about his girlfriend’s dressing style

Man feels embarrassed by girlfriend’s style, causing tension and surfacing her childhood trauma in their relationship.

Text excerpt describing a man embarrassed by his girlfriend’s style, triggering her childhood trauma with worn, ill-fitting clothes.

Man feels embarrassed by girlfriend’s style, reflecting on childhood trauma and family comments about her appearance.

Text discussing a man feeling embarrassed by his girlfriend’s style and giving her a shopping gift card.

Man feels embarrassed by girlfriend’s style and brings up her childhood trauma during a difficult conversation.

Text excerpt showing a man feeling embarrassed by girlfriend’s style and recalling her childhood trauma during a conflict.

Young woman sitting indoors covering her face, showing distress and emotional struggle linked to childhood trauma.

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

However, he saw nothing wrong with how he approached the situation

Text excerpt discussing embarrassment by girlfriend’s style and revisiting childhood trauma in a personal conflict.

Text saying So Reddit, help me understand. AITA for offering to pay for a brand new wardrobe about man feels embarrassed by girlfriend’s style and childhood trauma.

He later realized his mistake after some people online let him have it

Text excerpt discussing a man feeling embarrassed by girlfriend’s style and reflecting on childhood trauma.

Man feels embarrassed by girlfriend’s outdated style, reflecting her childhood trauma with worn and dingy clothes.

Text excerpt discussing a man feeling embarrassed by his girlfriend’s style and its impact on childhood trauma.

Man feels embarrassed by girlfriend’s style as they sit among scattered clothes in a dimly lit room.

Image credits: hwilson8 (not the actual photo)

He later clarified his initial post by reiterating some of his points and sharing new details

Text excerpt discussing a man's feelings of embarrassment linked to his girlfriend’s style and childhood trauma.

Man feeling embarrassed by girlfriend’s style, triggering her childhood trauma and emotional distress.

Text excerpt about man feeling embarrassed by girlfriend’s style and its impact on childhood trauma shared in a conversation.

Text snippet showing a person sharing an experience of embarrassment related to a girlfriend’s style and childhood trauma.

Bulleted text describing comments from young children about strange dressing style triggering childhood trauma.

Man feeling embarrassed by girlfriend’s eccentric style, reflecting on her childhood trauma.

Text emphasizing a man feeling embarrassed by his girlfriend’s style and confronting childhood trauma.

Text message explaining how a man feels embarrassed by his girlfriend’s style and childhood trauma affecting her clothing choices.

Man and woman having serious conversation at table with coffee mugs, man looking embarrassed by girlfriend’s style.

Image credits: katemangostar (not the actual photo)

In his final update, the man revealed that he had spoken with his girlfriend

Text on screen showing a man feeling embarrassed by girlfriend's style, triggering her childhood trauma during a conversation.

Text excerpt about childhood trauma caused by controlling parents, highlighting emotional impact and unusual upbringing.

Woman learning to dress herself with colorful clothes after leaving parents' control, highlighting childhood trauma and embarrassment.

Text excerpt describing a man feeling embarrassed by his girlfriend’s style, triggering her childhood trauma.

Man feels embarrassed by girlfriend’s style, addressing childhood trauma and planning to buy her new clothes.

Text message expressing gratitude to people who addressed personal concerns and experiences seriously and tactfully.

Image credits: ConsistentOutcome8

Criticizing a partner’s appearance has more severe repercussions than one may expect

Some people may perceive the criticism of personal appearance – or in this case, the criticism of one’s clothing choices – as something superficial and easy to brush off. However, the reality is far more severe. 

Dr. Ben Garrett, who specializes in helping people deal with trauma, relationship issues, and emotional stress, among others, refers to this problem as a “criticism climate.” 

“It is a place where the partner being criticized feels judged and that the criticism will never stop,” he told Bored Panda, adding that it can also lead to the person experiencing anxiety, body dysmorphia, and clinical levels of depression. 

Licensed therapist Stella Fischl also noted that repeated criticism not only erodes the person’s self-esteem but also destroys the trust needed to feel safe with a partner. 

“Over time, a partner may feel they have to shrink themselves to avoid conflict, constantly anticipate demands, or comply even when they disagree,” Fischl said, noting that it inevitably leads to an imbalanced relationship should the couple decide to continue. 

The author realized he may have worded his message incorrectly, in a way that made him appear like a jerk. So, how do you effectively convey a criticism of a partner’s clothing choices? 

Dr. Garrett urges framing it as curiosity rather than judgment as a start. He also advises using emotion to express feelings without accusations. 

“We don’t know why they are doing something until they tell you. Saying you already know what they are doing or why they are doing it will only cause more problems,” he said. 

Meanwhile, Fischl’s advice is about sticking to the issue at hand. In this case, the focus must be on the clothing, not on the person’s physical features. 

“Remember you’re speaking to someone you love,” she emphasized. “Choose a language that supports their confidence, respects their autonomy, and helps them feel empowered, not controlled.”

Fortunately, the man realized where he went wrong, and hopefully, it’ll be a learning experience for him moving forward.

Image credits: Get Lost Mike (not the actual photo)

Many people called him out

Commenter discussing embarrassment and control related to girlfriend’s style and childhood trauma in a relationship debate.

Comment about man feeling embarrassed by girlfriend’s style linked to her childhood trauma and poverty background.

Man feels embarrassed by girlfriend’s style, sparking discussion about financial struggles and childhood trauma.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing embarrassment related to a girlfriend’s style and childhood trauma.

Comment discussing a man feeling embarrassed by girlfriend’s style and the impact on her childhood trauma.

Screenshot of a comment from WallabyInTraining expressing strong disapproval, related to man feeling embarrassed by girlfriend’s style.

Man feeling embarrassed by girlfriend’s style, recalling her childhood trauma during a tense conversation.

Comment discussing embarrassment and control issues related to girlfriend’s style and childhood trauma resurfacing.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing embarrassment related to a girlfriend’s style and childhood trauma.

Comment discussing embarrassment over girlfriend’s style and its impact on childhood trauma and relationship feelings.

Text post discussing a man feeling embarrassed by girlfriend’s style and addressing childhood trauma.

Comment by user HolidayAbrocoma discussing embarrassment and style choices linked to childhood trauma in a relationship context.

Man feels embarrassed by girlfriend’s style, criticizing her clothing and linking it to childhood trauma.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing embarrassment over a girlfriend’s style and related childhood trauma.

Comment criticizing man for feeling embarrassed by girlfriend’s style, highlighting embarrassment and shallow judgment.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing embarrassment and girlfriend’s style linked to childhood trauma in a relationship conflict.

Comment about man feeling embarrassed by girlfriend’s style and reconnecting with her childhood trauma in online discussion.

Comment discussing embarrassment over girlfriend’s style and its link to childhood trauma and clothing struggles.

Commenter criticizes man for embarrassing girlfriend, linking his behavior to her childhood trauma in an online discussion.

Man expresses embarrassment over girlfriend’s style, highlighting issues of personal attraction and childhood trauma.

Man feels embarrassed by girlfriend’s style, triggering childhood trauma and wardrobe conflict discussion online.

Comment about a man feeling embarrassed by girlfriend’s style and how it triggers her childhood trauma.

Screenshot of an online comment expressing strong negative feelings about a man embarrassed by his girlfriend’s style and childhood trauma.

Comment from starfire5105 reflecting on a man feeling embarrassed by his girlfriend’s style and childhood trauma.

Commenter discussing a man embarrassed by his girlfriend’s style and how it triggers her childhood trauma.

Comment expressing dislike for a man embarrassed by his girlfriend’s style and related childhood trauma.

Comment about man feeling embarrassed by girlfriend’s style and linking it to his childhood trauma in a social media post.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing embarrassment over girlfriend’s style and its link to childhood trauma.

Commenter expresses discomfort with man embarrassed by girlfriend’s style, highlighting impact on her childhood trauma and need for sensitivity.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing embarrassment and childhood trauma related to girlfriend’s style and judgment from others.

Commenter discussing embarrassment and childhood trauma related to girlfriend’s clothing style and perception by others online.

Comment discussing a man feeling embarrassed by his girlfriend’s style, revisiting her childhood trauma.

Comment on a forum post expressing disapproval, highlighting embarrassment and childhood trauma related to girlfriend’s style.

User comment discussing feeling embarrassed by girlfriend’s unique style and its impact on childhood trauma.

However, some commenters believed he wasn’t at fault

Text screenshot of a comment discussing embarrassment and childhood trauma related to a girlfriend’s style and appearance.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing embarrassment and childhood trauma linked to girlfriend’s style and thriftiness.

Screenshot of online comment discussing embarrassment and support related to girlfriend’s style and childhood trauma.

Reddit comment discussing embarrassment by girlfriend’s style and related childhood trauma in an online thread.

User comment expressing understanding of man feeling embarrassed by girlfriend’s style linked to her childhood trauma and upbringing.

Comment on Reddit discussing a man feeling embarrassed by his girlfriend’s style and childhood trauma impact.

Screenshot of a forum comment discussing embarrassment and feelings related to girlfriend’s style and childhood trauma.

Poll Question

Total votes ·

Thanks! Check out the results:

Total votes ·

Newsletter

Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls

Subscribe

By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.

Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!

Follow Bored Panda on Google News!

Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda!