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Man Stands Up For His Wife When Sister’s New Boyfriend Makes A Rude ‘Joke’ About Her Mastectomy
189points
1.1K
People, Social Issues11 months ago

Man Stands Up For His Wife When Sister’s New Boyfriend Makes A Rude ‘Joke’ About Her Mastectomy

People say you only get one chance to make a great first impression. That’s why so many obsess about their looks, body language, and interesting conversation topics to be on top of their game. And all of this comes to a whole new level when you’re about to meet your partner’s parents. After all, they could potentially stay in your life for years.

So imagine getting ready to welcome a new member into your family, only to find out they show a real lack of respect for the people you love. That’s exactly what happened to user ShutupHank766. His family recently gathered to meet his sister’s new boyfriend, who seemed decent at first, but things quickly turned sour when the guy decided to “playfully” joke about his wife’s mastectomy.

The boyfriend’s insensitive remark prompted a deluge of reactions. While the wife felt “uncomfortable to the point of crying”, the author was furious and “scared her boyfriend” out of their parents’ house. The user turned to the AITA community to ask whether he was wrong to act this way. Read on for the full story.

Recently, this man shared a story about how his sister’s new boyfriend “playfully” joked about his wife’s mastectomy

Image credits: Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: ShutupHank766

ShutupHank766’s story quickly collected 21.5K upvotes and inspired people to share their thoughts and their own experiences. Later on, the author revealed how his wife’s breast cancer and mastectomy came up during the conversation. You see, it was the first thing his sister said when introducing her. “My wife was basically forced into opening up about it just because she’s too nice to even show discomfort,” he wrote.

Luckily, ShutupHank766’s mother sided with the man and his wife in the argument. She showed empathy and support by following his wife into the kitchen and staying with her to calm her down. “Mom and my wife have a mother-daughter relationship, they’re incredibly close.”

Needless to say, the majority of Redditors determined that the author was not in the wrong in this situation. Members of the AITA community applauded the husband for standing up for his wife and not allowing the boyfriend to get away with such insensitive jokes. While some people might justify his actions because meeting the family often comes with piles of stress, the boyfriend should have known better.

Relationship expert April Masini suggested some easy steps to make the meeting of your SO’s parents seem less daunting. According to her, you should always come prepared. “Find out from your partner what sets their parents off,” she said. “For instance, if they’re staunch political advocates or if they tend to be very religious — get a head’s up so you can steer clear of talking politics or making comments about religion. Basically, get briefed on what they’re like and ask specifically, what you should not talk about and why.”

However, Masini stressed that the most important thing is to use good manners. “The reason is that by doing so, you’re showing respect. You’re also showing that you’re educated in a way that isn’t taught in any school. When your partner’s parents see you have good manners, you’re broadcasting the fact that you know how to behave in social situations, and this is currency in relationships.”

“Your partner’s parents are going to be much more eager to introduce you to their friends and family members when they see your good manners because they’ll feel you fit in, and they’ll feel proud to be associated with you.”

Masini recommended displaying your manners by bringing a gift, being respectful, not getting drunk, or using curse words. And, of course, not upsetting their daughter-in-law who’s sitting right at the other end of the table.

The vast majority of Redditors determined that he was NTA in this situation, here’s what they had to say

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Rose the Cook
Community Member
11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a rude, insensitive pig the sister's boyfriend is. He's lucky he didn't get a punch in the nose.

-
Community Member
11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The sister is also incredibly insensitive. From reddit: "My sister [...] was introducing each member of the family and when it was my wife's turn, the first thing she (my sister) told him was that my wife had cancer. my wife was basically forced into opening up about it just because she's too nice to even show discomfort." Holy mackerel, the sister is a complete ass! She and the boyfriend validate each other's awfulness.

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cybermerlin2000
Community Member
11 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel sorry for the wife and hope they cut contact with all except the mother. When my mom was diagnosed with cancer she said "I'm a Libra but whatever" When she had her left breast removed she said "Now I can always feel a right tit" When her hair fell out due to chemo she was given 2 wigs. She would get out of going out by saying, "I can't make it. I'm washing my hair... It should be on the spin cycle by now, but the washing machine hates head and shoulders" and "I used wash and go, and when I washed, it went" also "Time to go shopping for hair care products. Can someone go grab me some Windolene?" She was pretty much like that all the time until she died in 2005 where she went a few days after her wedding anniversary

Miriam L
Community Member
11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your mother sounds like an absolute riot. I was so sorry to read to the end of your comment and see that she's no longer with us. It was lovely to get to know a little about someone who sounds like she was a remarkable person

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Gavin Johnson
Community Member
11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only time humour is appropriate is when the woman in question repeatedly uses humour to deal with the challenges she faces. It’s never ok to assume that they are comfortable talking about it or people bringing everyone else’s attention to it. Would he want the woman in question to joke about him if he had testicular cancer and had one removed? I doubt it very much. FFS, be more kind!

LivingTheDream
Community Member
11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was going to say something similar. I had surgery as a final step to beat colon cancer. I used dark humor to get myself through it and now my family and friends understand they do not need to walk on eggshells. The funny thing is how other people get offended when I joke about my own condition 🤣🤣

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Rose the Cook
Community Member
11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a rude, insensitive pig the sister's boyfriend is. He's lucky he didn't get a punch in the nose.

-
Community Member
11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The sister is also incredibly insensitive. From reddit: "My sister [...] was introducing each member of the family and when it was my wife's turn, the first thing she (my sister) told him was that my wife had cancer. my wife was basically forced into opening up about it just because she's too nice to even show discomfort." Holy mackerel, the sister is a complete ass! She and the boyfriend validate each other's awfulness.

Load More Replies...
cybermerlin2000
Community Member
11 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel sorry for the wife and hope they cut contact with all except the mother. When my mom was diagnosed with cancer she said "I'm a Libra but whatever" When she had her left breast removed she said "Now I can always feel a right tit" When her hair fell out due to chemo she was given 2 wigs. She would get out of going out by saying, "I can't make it. I'm washing my hair... It should be on the spin cycle by now, but the washing machine hates head and shoulders" and "I used wash and go, and when I washed, it went" also "Time to go shopping for hair care products. Can someone go grab me some Windolene?" She was pretty much like that all the time until she died in 2005 where she went a few days after her wedding anniversary

Miriam L
Community Member
11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your mother sounds like an absolute riot. I was so sorry to read to the end of your comment and see that she's no longer with us. It was lovely to get to know a little about someone who sounds like she was a remarkable person

Load More Replies...
Gavin Johnson
Community Member
11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only time humour is appropriate is when the woman in question repeatedly uses humour to deal with the challenges she faces. It’s never ok to assume that they are comfortable talking about it or people bringing everyone else’s attention to it. Would he want the woman in question to joke about him if he had testicular cancer and had one removed? I doubt it very much. FFS, be more kind!

LivingTheDream
Community Member
11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was going to say something similar. I had surgery as a final step to beat colon cancer. I used dark humor to get myself through it and now my family and friends understand they do not need to walk on eggshells. The funny thing is how other people get offended when I joke about my own condition 🤣🤣

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