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Guy Pursues Woman For Months, Then Spends A Year Trying To Fix The Body He Claimed To Love
Women have become so accustomed to impossible beauty standards being thrown at them from every direction that most have developed a kind of armor against it. The magazine covers, the filtered feeds, the before and after transformations- it is everywhere and it never really stops. Most women have learned to tune it out, at least to some degree.
But there is a difference between a billboard and a boyfriend. For one woman, the call was coming from inside the house. And those kinds of calls are impossible to ignore. What the internet had to say to her was heartbreaking but necessary.
More info: Reddit
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Beauty standards are still the bane of every woman’s existence, but when the source is close to home, it cuts especially deep
Image credits: pvproductions / Magnific (not the actual photo)
One woman’s boyfriend relentlessly pursued her, but soon started making comments about her body, trying to ‘improve’ her
Image credits: magnific / Magnific (not the actual photo)
He came up with meal plans and exercise routines, despite her being a perfectly healthy 125 lbs
Image credits: EmilyStock / Magnific (not the actual photo)
He even sent her pictures of other women as inspiration, showing her what she should and shouldn’t look like
Image credits: throwra0099909009922
Her self-esteem was in the toilet, and his smooth-talking ways made it impossible for her to break up with him
The narrator was 23, 5’4, and 125 pounds, and the man dating her had decided that was not good enough. He had pursued her relentlessly to get her, and then spent the next year systematically dismantling every good feeling she had ever had about herself. A personalized workout plan appeared. Daily check-ins. A push toward veganism. He left no stone unturned.
Even an evening where she ordered baked ziti, and he looked at her like she had committed a crime. All of it was framed as investment. She was average, apparently, and he wanted her to stand out. The low self-esteem he claimed to have noticed was something he was generously trying to fix. Even “inspo” photos of other women arrived, showing her what she should look like.
Every attempt to leave ended with him talking her back in, telling her she did not understand where he was coming from. The clothes that used to fit got replaced with baggy ones she could hide in. The body she used to like became something she was ashamed of. Her last resort was to come to the internet for advice.
The internet answered comprehensively. She broke up with him over text, told him exactly what kind of person speaks to someone that way, blocked his number, and came back to thank the strangers who had helped her see what she had been unable to see from inside it. She is taking time for herself now, which is the only correct next step.
Image credits: Alena Darmel / Pexels (not the actual photo)
For a woman who is 5’4, the medically recommended weight range sits between 110 and 140 pounds. At 125 pounds, she was sitting comfortably in the middle of that range, healthy, normal, and by every clinical measure absolutely fine. The only person in this situation who had a problem with her body was the man who had spent months engineering one.
What he was doing was not tough love or constructive feedback. Narcissists systematically dismantle a partner’s self-esteem to establish power and control, using constant criticism to create a dynamic where the other person relies entirely on them for validation. Sound familiar? Run, girl, run.
The statistics on this are stomach-turning. Research shows that 29% of women report being directly called fat by a romantic partner, and 42% have been mocked or ridiculed specifically for gaining weight. Between 40% and 57% of weight-related criticism that women experience in adulthood comes from romantic partners. Ladies, we have a problem.
The person who is supposed to be your safest space turns out, for a staggering number of women, to be the loudest source of the noise. She came to the internet wearing baggy clothes over a body she used to love, and left it with a blocked number and a text message that said everything that needed to be said. The baked ziti was never the problem in the first place.
Do you think a partner has any right to comment on your body? Share your thoughts in the comments!
Folks in the comments came to her rescue, urging her to dump him immediately, and thankfully she obliged
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What do you think ?
Becca not Becky 1 month ago (edited)
The only weight she needs to lose is him. Besides the fact that 125lbs is a perfectly healthy weight for her height, he is trying to make her into someone she is not, and he is just toxic all around. No one needs a person like him.
Ace 1 month ago
Struggling to believe this is real, but assuming it is then... there's only one reason for him to behave like that, regardless of her size, and that is to demean and reduce her confidence so he has power over her. I had to check, cos those measures don't mean much to me, but it works out as a BMI of 21.4, well towards the lower end of the 'normal' weight range of 20-25. Good that there's a happy ending, I do hope she recovers and doesn't develop (any further) body-image issues as a result.
Becca not Becky 1 month ago (edited)
The only weight she needs to lose is him. Besides the fact that 125lbs is a perfectly healthy weight for her height, he is trying to make her into someone she is not, and he is just toxic all around. No one needs a person like him.
Ace 1 month ago
Struggling to believe this is real, but assuming it is then... there's only one reason for him to behave like that, regardless of her size, and that is to demean and reduce her confidence so he has power over her. I had to check, cos those measures don't mean much to me, but it works out as a BMI of 21.4, well towards the lower end of the 'normal' weight range of 20-25. Good that there's a happy ending, I do hope she recovers and doesn't develop (any further) body-image issues as a result.
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