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262
GF Complains That BF’s 11YO Brother’s Behavior Is Creepy, He Says She’s Overreacting
Interview With Expert
We all know how strange kids can act at times, and their hyperactive imaginations simply add to their creative abilities to conjure up fantasies and act more weird. Well, putting that aside, when these strange acts start getting out of hand and take on an abnormal turn, that’s the time when adult intervention is necessary.
However, when Reddit user ThrowRA_25356 informed her boyfriend that his 11-year-old brother was behaving creepily, he simply shrugged it off and told her that she was overreacting. On the other hand, folks were quite alarmed when she posted it online and sought their advice!
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
Kids acting strange is quite normal, but their actions need to be checked when they start getting abnormal
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster’s boyfriend has an 11-year-old brother who moved in with them after their parents were arrested
Image credits: ThrowRA_25356
Image credits: Kindel Media / Pexels (not the actual photo)
She finds the kid quite creepy as he has been constantly staring at her, entering without knocking, showering with the door open, and even was in her room when she came out of the shower once
Image credits: ThrowRA_25356
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
When he returned her laptop after borrowing it, he had downloaded adult content and it was also there in the history, which completely unsettled her
Image credits: ThrowRA_25356
She told her boyfriend about all this, but he was dismissive, claiming all kids his age do that and the poster was overreacting
In today’s story, the original poster (OP) went looking for advice online after she caught the creepy behavior of her boyfriend’s 11-year-old brother quite a few times. She lives with her boyfriend of 3 years, and recently, his parents got arrested (she didn’t reveal the reason), leaving his 11-year-old brother with them.
She understood how complicated the situation was, but gradually, she started noticing that some things seem off about the kid. For instance, he has been constantly staring at her, never knocks before entering her room, especially when her boyfriend is out, and has simply ignored her when she has told him that he needs to knock.
Despite telling him not to do it, he keeps the shower door open while bathing, and once, when she got out of the shower with her towel, he was just there in her room and kept staring. Ugh, it must have been so unsettling for OP. Another time, she gave him her laptop, and he returned it full of adult content that he had downloaded, which was even there in the search history.
Now, it was only natural for the woman to think that this was not normal, so she complained about it to her boyfriend, who simply refused to take her seriously. He said that she was overreacting and his brother was just doing something that all kids his age do. Well, after being dismissed that way, she was feeling very uncomfortable in her own house and even started to avoid being alone with his brother.
When she sought advice online, netizens were quick to point out that an 11-year-old watching adult content is definitely not normal; in fact, everything that she described about him screamed abnormal. Folks couldn’t help but stress that the boy needs professional help and it’s high time that his brother woke up and accepted it.
Image credits: Anastasia Shuraeva / Pexels (not the actual photo)
To get expert insights, Bored Panda reached out to Zinnia Bharucha, co-founder and psychologist at Holistic Solutions, who has completed her Masters from King’s College London. She mentioned that trauma tends to affect one in multiple ways often without us realizing its deep impact. In this situation, she said that apart from the parents’ arrest, there could be multiple factors simultaneously affecting the 11-year-old.
“A traumatic event like this, especially when the child is only 11, can lead to a massive sense of abandonment when parents are physically absent. This abandonment can lead to constant confusion, uncertainty, and feeling more lost in general.”
“Apart from this, other environmental factors can affect the child’s confidence, resulting in an overall low self-esteem. His sense of adaptability can hit an all-time low, and he might act out or be rebellious in order to feel noticed or to feel better,” explained Zinnia.
Folks pointed out that someone’s digital diet is a sure-shot way to influence their life, especially at a younger age, when kids don’t know any better. What the elder brother shrugged off as “normal for kids his age” was what really alarmed people online, as they questioned how appropriate it was for an 11-year-old child to consume adult content.
Zinnia informed us that when curiosity level is at its peak, and adequate parental guidance and gentle care are absent, children in such situations can get massively addicted to watching adult content. She added that it can also be used as a means to escape reality and can lead to wrong information being processed by the child.
When speaking about the child’s creepy behavior, Zinnia expressed that the child has learned to adopt other mechanisms to avoid acknowledging what he is truly feeling and suppress his emotions, and seems to be acting out via unhealthy behavioral patterns. This throws a light on why he was acting the way he was, and even ignoring OP when she told him not to do something.
Lastly, Zinnia ended the interview with some helpful advice. “It’s vital to help the child out via talking, but also encourage him to opt for therapy. A professional can help focus on the child’s feelings, internal and environmental triggering factors, and help the child develop healthy coping mechanisms, and modify their behavior as a result,” she mentioned.
Now that you have expert insights about the story, what would you do in a similar situation? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!
Redditors were rather alarmed by the kid’s behavior as they said that it’s definitely not normal and he needs help
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Tabitha 1 year ago
Remember, older brother and younger brother have the same parents. No wonder older brother doesn’t see anything wrong with younger brother’s behavior. The priority is for OP to get TF out of there and find some place safe to stay. Second, she needs to tell her BF that younger bro’s behavior is NOT normal, is making you feel unsafe, and therefore is the reason you are leaving. She needs to tell him HE needs to get his brother into intensive therapy or he will grow into a truly f****d up adult, in and out of jail just like mom and dad. And yes, we’re missing a s**t ton of context here that could clarify why little bro is such a creep. But that is little bro’s FAMILY’S problem to fix, NOT OP’s. She needs to rethink whether this relationship is even going to continue, because she is not safe in it, and her BF is not protecting her at all.
justme 1 year ago
In a few years that kid will be big enough to assault her. They need to take it seriously now if she's going to stay in this relationship with him in the house.
Pamacious 1 year ago
Her and/or younger siblings. BF is an AH, kid needs serious help, and she needs to nope TF out now for her safety from both.
Load More Replies...
Darthest Starfish 1 year ago
So an 11 year old isn't usually too awful big physically, but what happens when he hits his growth spurt and he wants to act out the porn acts he saw on the computer........this has absolute disaster written all over it.
Kortney McKee 1 year ago
My adopted brother had horrible trauma from his bio family, my adopted parents thought they knew best and did not have him in therapy and stopped with doctors after he wouldn't try Ritalin for his ADHD. Then everything just kind of got swept under the rug and not talked about because of the shame it would bring to the family name. He's now in prison for SAing a pregnant woman with disabilities and almost strangling her to death. Frankly, she needs to get out and her boyfriend needs a wake up call from a professional. He needs to find out who their count appointed advocate is, and be relentless about finding him services. This needs to be addressed sooner than later because the longer the pathology exists in his psyche from the trauma, the more likely it is to manifest in unhealthy and or violent ways. Horrible situation all around. 😬
FreeTheUnicorn 1 year ago
Get thr kid into counselling. He's been through a lot and clearly isn't coping. If the issues were there before, or are just manifesting now, it doesn't matter. He's acting out and needs professional support. Ignoring it won't help. In the meantime, get a lock on the bedroom, get a ring camera for the door if you need to. Set up a profile he can use on the laptop with parental controls. Also, check in with BF because it sounds like he's too overwhelmed to deal with what's going on.
StretcherBearer 1 year ago (edited)
An 11 year old with a weapon is just as dangerous as an adult. Anything can be a weapon. This is a terrible situation for everyone, but the boyfriend needs to listen and she needs to do what needs to be done for her safety. This situation has already escalated and will only get worse the longer nothing is done mental health wise.
Adam Benson 1 year ago (edited)
Definitely not normal. My sons are 10 and 13 and I can't for one minute imagine them looking at stuff like that, never mind downloading it. This boy definitely sounds like he needs professional help.
UpupaEpops 1 year ago
In middle school, pretty much all the boys were looking at it and discussing it. That isn't necessarily bad. But someone should be taking ownership of authority because the kid needs someone to parent them. And that does involve perhaps looking at the kind of porn he Is consuming because things went completely downhill since I was in middle school. Back then a**l was seen as the biggest deal. Nowadays if you go to a porn site, you can see stuff that's illegal without prior consent. So those are very important discussions to be had. I kind of get the feeling that OP isn't coping, brother isn't stepping into that parental role that is so clearly needed and the kid is potentially spiralling.
Load More Replies... Tabitha 1 year ago
Remember, older brother and younger brother have the same parents. No wonder older brother doesn’t see anything wrong with younger brother’s behavior. The priority is for OP to get TF out of there and find some place safe to stay. Second, she needs to tell her BF that younger bro’s behavior is NOT normal, is making you feel unsafe, and therefore is the reason you are leaving. She needs to tell him HE needs to get his brother into intensive therapy or he will grow into a truly f****d up adult, in and out of jail just like mom and dad. And yes, we’re missing a s**t ton of context here that could clarify why little bro is such a creep. But that is little bro’s FAMILY’S problem to fix, NOT OP’s. She needs to rethink whether this relationship is even going to continue, because she is not safe in it, and her BF is not protecting her at all.
justme 1 year ago
In a few years that kid will be big enough to assault her. They need to take it seriously now if she's going to stay in this relationship with him in the house.
Pamacious 1 year ago
Her and/or younger siblings. BF is an AH, kid needs serious help, and she needs to nope TF out now for her safety from both.
Load More Replies... Darthest Starfish 1 year ago
So an 11 year old isn't usually too awful big physically, but what happens when he hits his growth spurt and he wants to act out the porn acts he saw on the computer........this has absolute disaster written all over it.
Kortney McKee 1 year ago
My adopted brother had horrible trauma from his bio family, my adopted parents thought they knew best and did not have him in therapy and stopped with doctors after he wouldn't try Ritalin for his ADHD. Then everything just kind of got swept under the rug and not talked about because of the shame it would bring to the family name. He's now in prison for SAing a pregnant woman with disabilities and almost strangling her to death. Frankly, she needs to get out and her boyfriend needs a wake up call from a professional. He needs to find out who their count appointed advocate is, and be relentless about finding him services. This needs to be addressed sooner than later because the longer the pathology exists in his psyche from the trauma, the more likely it is to manifest in unhealthy and or violent ways. Horrible situation all around. 😬
FreeTheUnicorn 1 year ago
Get thr kid into counselling. He's been through a lot and clearly isn't coping. If the issues were there before, or are just manifesting now, it doesn't matter. He's acting out and needs professional support. Ignoring it won't help. In the meantime, get a lock on the bedroom, get a ring camera for the door if you need to. Set up a profile he can use on the laptop with parental controls. Also, check in with BF because it sounds like he's too overwhelmed to deal with what's going on.
StretcherBearer 1 year ago (edited)
An 11 year old with a weapon is just as dangerous as an adult. Anything can be a weapon. This is a terrible situation for everyone, but the boyfriend needs to listen and she needs to do what needs to be done for her safety. This situation has already escalated and will only get worse the longer nothing is done mental health wise.
Adam Benson 1 year ago (edited)
Definitely not normal. My sons are 10 and 13 and I can't for one minute imagine them looking at stuff like that, never mind downloading it. This boy definitely sounds like he needs professional help.
UpupaEpops 1 year ago
In middle school, pretty much all the boys were looking at it and discussing it. That isn't necessarily bad. But someone should be taking ownership of authority because the kid needs someone to parent them. And that does involve perhaps looking at the kind of porn he Is consuming because things went completely downhill since I was in middle school. Back then a**l was seen as the biggest deal. Nowadays if you go to a porn site, you can see stuff that's illegal without prior consent. So those are very important discussions to be had. I kind of get the feeling that OP isn't coping, brother isn't stepping into that parental role that is so clearly needed and the kid is potentially spiralling.
Load More Replies...
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