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“I’d Be Mortified”: 34YO Man Tosses Wedding Bouquet Back At Bride, GF Feels Upset Over It
Weddings are full of fun traditions that date back to olden times. Although they probably don’t hold the same meaning that they did then, they are a fun way to make people comfortable and get them to connect. The most widely known one is the bouquet toss, which often brings up a lot of feelings for people.
In this particular story, a woman began questioning her relationship after her longtime boyfriend rejected the bouquet he caught in the toss. He turned the entire situation into a joke that left her feeling devastated.
More info: Reddit
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Although the wedding bouquet toss might seem like a fun and harmless tradition, it often holds a lot of meaning for the participants
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster mentioned that her boyfriend was going to attend his friend’s wedding and convinced her to do the bouquet toss even though she didn’t want to
Image credits: pixel-shot.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When the bouquet toss happened, the man caught it, but he immediately threw it back and made the whole thing out to be a joke
Image credits: simonapilolla / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When the guy told his partner the story, she felt upset and hurt by his actions, believing it to be a public diss of their 2-year relationship
Image credits: Dry-Emotion-2237
Since the poster had also not been invited to the wedding, she felt like her relationship had been made into the punchline of a joke behind her back
The bouquet toss is an old tradition that dates back to a time when people believed that touching the bride or taking any of her possessions could be lucky for them. People used to even tear parts of her dress as keepsakes to give themselves some of that good luck. Eventually, the bouquet toss became a simpler option that could stop people from going to such extreme lengths.
Even though this practice is quite fun and gives people a lot of enjoyment, many modern couples don’t see a point in even doing it anymore. The bride in this story didn’t want to do it at her wedding, but her friend convinced her because he really wanted to be a part of it.
Usually, the wedding bouquet toss is done only with unmarried women, so that if anyone catches it, they’re said to be next on track to get married. Many people even get aggressive or possessive when it comes to catching the bouquet because of what it symbolizes.
It is odd that the poster’s boyfriend forced his friend to carry out this tradition, then joined in with a group of women, caught the bouquet, and threw it right back. The OP felt like he had purposely set this up in order to reject the idea of commitment in front of his friends, which obviously made her feel bad.
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster kept thinking about the incident and wondered if he was downplaying their relationship in public. She was caught between feeling like she was overreacting and being upset that he could think of this incident as a joke.
When one partner has big feelings about something, it’s important to communicate those with the other person. They might not even realize how their loved one is feeling, and this will help both both of them to get on the same page. It might be difficult to initiate the conversation, but it can ultimately help both people’s bond.
The woman did share her feelings with her partner, but he dismissed them immediately and tried to play it off. He tried to make it out to be her problem and insisted that he was only joking. This kind of dismissive behavior can be very painful because it invalidates the other person’s emotions.
A big reason why a joke like this is hurtful is that it plays into many stereotypes about men being under the control of their wives or partners. Making light of commitment or putting down one’s partner might get a few laughs, but it also shows that the person doesn’t care as much about their relationship and is willing to throw it under the bus.
Nobody wants to be the butt of a joke like this, especially when they aren’t present. Hopefully, the man recognizes how much he hurt his partner, or she’ll have to pull the same stunt on him as revenge.
What are your thoughts on this story? Do you think the poster is overreacting to the joke? Do share your thoughts below.
Folks were divided on the issue, with some feeling that what the man did was significant, and others thinking that it really meant nothing
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What do you think ?
Tabitha 8 months ago (edited)
Schroedinger's D o u c h e b a g: The person who says something cruel and nasty, then decides whether it was "just a joke" based on the reaction they get.
Ringofant 8 months ago (edited)
@Tabitha Have my upvote for 'Schroedinger's Dou ***bag'. You nailed it! I decided that I will add this term to my list of favorites, it's hilarious.
Load More Replies...
Janelle Collard 8 months ago
This guy's gonna be one of *those* grooms that smashes his bride's face into the cake at their wedding. Hope OP *isn't* the bride. These a**wipes all whine, "But it was a joke!" when they get called out.
Binny Tutera 8 months ago
I see this at weddings a lot. IDK, I feel like OP has “main character” vibes here. It was a joke. At a wedding she wasn’t invited to. With HIS friends. He didn’t do it because he doesn’t love OP. He wasn’t trying to send a “message” about his distain for marriage. The bride wasn’t going to throw the bouquet in the first place, and only did it because OP’s BF asked her to. Literally NO ONE was upset. He made a stupid joke, but it wasn’t at OP’s expense. If she was there, then I can see where she’d be unhappy, but OMG! Has to make it about HER.
arthbach 8 months ago
Binny Tutera, this is a perfect example of people reading the same story, and someone totally failing to grasp what has actually happened. He tried to make a stupid joke. It failed spectacularly because it wasn't funny, and was hurtful. His 'main character' vibes hurt the person he has said he wants to plan a future with.
Load More Replies...
Deborah B 8 months ago
Time for you to do some soul searching about how he actually treats you. Is he loving, respectful and committed, and this is a joke that missed the mark, or is he a jerk, misogynist, or commitment-phobe? Think about if his behaviour and "humor" are what you want to accept in your long-term partner. If you're okay with him, then it's time to insist on a real talk - "Where is our relationship going, and do you see us getting married?" If you're okay with a tactless bro man-child, that's your call. If you are comfortable not marrying, that's up to you. Just don't hide from the tough subjects, and let him string you along if you want something more than he has to give. If you want marriage and babies, and he doesn't, you need to know, not live in denial and waste your time. The next 10 years are the ones you could be spending dating and building a relationship with someone who wants what you want.
Gerry Higgins 8 months ago
Don't be so touchy. Him throwing it back is just a joke. Like when a woman catches it and her boyfriend RUNS away fast! lol
Mark Vella 8 months ago
RUN!! run as fast as you can, from a girl which doesnt' get your jokes
Beth Wheeler 8 months ago
This is just plain out stupid. He wasn't even supposed to be near the single women for the bouquet toss.
Sara Shamsabadi 8 months ago
be careful committing further in this situation (if that's what you're seeking). The way I read it, you told him how you felt calmly & that it upset you, or I hope you did. If your feeling upset 'ruined' the mood for the night, that feels manipulative to me. He only wants to be with if you if it's fun, positive & he is made to feel good? Also, that's corny about the flowers.
Cronecast AtTheRisingMoon 8 months ago
Being offended over the joke isn’t what really is at issue. Don’t wait around for this guy to deign to marry you. Both parties need to want marriage for it to stand a chance. If he really doesn’t want to get married, and he told her that he just presented it as a joke, then thank him for his telling insight and pack. He knows they have talked about marriage, joking about not wanting it is indirect communication. Probably pay attention and plan your future accordingly.
Online Works 8 months ago
Absolutely spot-on advice. It's really about being honest with yourself and not settling for someone who doesn't align with your long-term goals. Humor can be telling—was it just poorly timed, or does it reveal deeper issues like immaturity or lack of respect? You deserve clarity and commitment if that's what you're looking for. On a completely unrelated note but still on the topic of trust and transparency, if you're ever looking for the [most trusted online dispensary shipping worldwide,](https://weedconsultantsllc.shop) make sure to do the same kind of soul searching—check reviews, licenses, and lab results before committing. Whether it's relationships or purchases, trust matters.
Gaea van der Aa 8 months ago (edited)
Tell him what you feel feel/ see about his "joke" and if he wants to mary you. Tell him to you it does not sound a*s a joke
Squirrelly Panda 8 months ago
To an extent, I get the joke. It's a common trope that the women scramble for the bouquet while the men avoid the garter when there is a garter toss. But why was he in the crowd going after the bouquet? And it's still a dumb joke.
Janissary35680 8 months ago
The operative word being "dumb". "Obtuse" also comes to mind.🤔
Load More Replies...
Vinnie 8 months ago
He doesn't sound ready for marriage if he set up a prank about avoiding it - and won't reassure the OP. Before we got married, my husband would joke on vacation - "There's a judge's office across the street, let's drop in tomorrow and get married!" Patient man - I needed more time.
Katiekat 8 months ago
Bring it up again, gauge his reaction VERY closely and critically, then make your own decision about whether he's mature or not, and I'm betting not. As in at all whatsoever. Make plans to get out and move on. All these people minimizing and deflecting can go take a long walk off a short plank. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Just stopping by 8 months ago
This is an overreaction to a joke that she wasn't present for. Though I think she's already had her doubts about whether they were actually heading in that direction. And this just tipped it over the edge for her.
Just_for_this 8 months ago
Come off it, the Men running from the (Idea of the) Bouquet is as much a 'tradition' as the wedding hungry women trying to catch it - Crass or not. BUT... that's not really the issue for OP. The issue is she's getting itchy feet, and sees this as a step backwards on their long term plan, and the only one who can 'steady the ship' wont be found on Reddit/BP.
Mark Alexander 8 months ago
I dunno. If someone forced me to randomly toss something with some alleged destiny I'd would definitely toss it right at them. There's too much missing context for me to judge.
meeeeeeeeeeee 8 months ago
Someone who makes jokes usually doesn't fit with someone that easily offended. Break up
KatSaidWhat 8 months ago
Ok, I lolled. Then my maturity kicked in and thought gtfo that relationship.
Alexandra Hall 8 months ago
Oh, Lovely, he’s an idiot and a child. Get rid. Honestly, that’s not funny. He is NOT funny. He’s a w****r. Girl, Run. In simple terms: He’s Roy from the office. Go and live your life. Be free from this rubbish. You don’t need a stupid, insecure, manipulative person who makes you feel small. He should be searching for ways to make your life better.
Lee Gilliland 8 months ago
"Just a joke" is assholease for "I'm bullying you and you have to take it or I get to make fun of you". Ditch him.
Kohl_Keene 8 months ago
It’s the way he saw her upset and invalidated her by saying don’t be upset. That’s a red flag to me
WonderWoman 8 months ago
First of all, don't have a wedding reception where you have to split up couples, cut your list or make adjustments, it is unfair to ask your friends to come to your wedding without their SO. Second, this man has just told OP that a wedding is not on the horizon, he is content to play house, but he has no intention of marrying her. She should have a nice long conversation covering where are we and what are we going to be doing and on what timeline, so she can decide if she is content with it.
Tabitha 8 months ago (edited)
Schroedinger's D o u c h e b a g: The person who says something cruel and nasty, then decides whether it was "just a joke" based on the reaction they get.
Ringofant 8 months ago (edited)
@Tabitha Have my upvote for 'Schroedinger's Dou ***bag'. You nailed it! I decided that I will add this term to my list of favorites, it's hilarious.
Load More Replies... Janelle Collard 8 months ago
This guy's gonna be one of *those* grooms that smashes his bride's face into the cake at their wedding. Hope OP *isn't* the bride. These a**wipes all whine, "But it was a joke!" when they get called out.
Binny Tutera 8 months ago
I see this at weddings a lot. IDK, I feel like OP has “main character” vibes here. It was a joke. At a wedding she wasn’t invited to. With HIS friends. He didn’t do it because he doesn’t love OP. He wasn’t trying to send a “message” about his distain for marriage. The bride wasn’t going to throw the bouquet in the first place, and only did it because OP’s BF asked her to. Literally NO ONE was upset. He made a stupid joke, but it wasn’t at OP’s expense. If she was there, then I can see where she’d be unhappy, but OMG! Has to make it about HER.
arthbach 8 months ago
Binny Tutera, this is a perfect example of people reading the same story, and someone totally failing to grasp what has actually happened. He tried to make a stupid joke. It failed spectacularly because it wasn't funny, and was hurtful. His 'main character' vibes hurt the person he has said he wants to plan a future with.
Load More Replies... Deborah B 8 months ago
Time for you to do some soul searching about how he actually treats you. Is he loving, respectful and committed, and this is a joke that missed the mark, or is he a jerk, misogynist, or commitment-phobe? Think about if his behaviour and "humor" are what you want to accept in your long-term partner. If you're okay with him, then it's time to insist on a real talk - "Where is our relationship going, and do you see us getting married?" If you're okay with a tactless bro man-child, that's your call. If you are comfortable not marrying, that's up to you. Just don't hide from the tough subjects, and let him string you along if you want something more than he has to give. If you want marriage and babies, and he doesn't, you need to know, not live in denial and waste your time. The next 10 years are the ones you could be spending dating and building a relationship with someone who wants what you want.
Gerry Higgins 8 months ago
Don't be so touchy. Him throwing it back is just a joke. Like when a woman catches it and her boyfriend RUNS away fast! lol
Mark Vella 8 months ago
RUN!! run as fast as you can, from a girl which doesnt' get your jokes
Beth Wheeler 8 months ago
This is just plain out stupid. He wasn't even supposed to be near the single women for the bouquet toss.
Sara Shamsabadi 8 months ago
be careful committing further in this situation (if that's what you're seeking). The way I read it, you told him how you felt calmly & that it upset you, or I hope you did. If your feeling upset 'ruined' the mood for the night, that feels manipulative to me. He only wants to be with if you if it's fun, positive & he is made to feel good? Also, that's corny about the flowers.
Cronecast AtTheRisingMoon 8 months ago
Being offended over the joke isn’t what really is at issue. Don’t wait around for this guy to deign to marry you. Both parties need to want marriage for it to stand a chance. If he really doesn’t want to get married, and he told her that he just presented it as a joke, then thank him for his telling insight and pack. He knows they have talked about marriage, joking about not wanting it is indirect communication. Probably pay attention and plan your future accordingly.
Online Works 8 months ago
Absolutely spot-on advice. It's really about being honest with yourself and not settling for someone who doesn't align with your long-term goals. Humor can be telling—was it just poorly timed, or does it reveal deeper issues like immaturity or lack of respect? You deserve clarity and commitment if that's what you're looking for. On a completely unrelated note but still on the topic of trust and transparency, if you're ever looking for the [most trusted online dispensary shipping worldwide,](https://weedconsultantsllc.shop) make sure to do the same kind of soul searching—check reviews, licenses, and lab results before committing. Whether it's relationships or purchases, trust matters.
Gaea van der Aa 8 months ago (edited)
Tell him what you feel feel/ see about his "joke" and if he wants to mary you. Tell him to you it does not sound a*s a joke
Squirrelly Panda 8 months ago
To an extent, I get the joke. It's a common trope that the women scramble for the bouquet while the men avoid the garter when there is a garter toss. But why was he in the crowd going after the bouquet? And it's still a dumb joke.
Janissary35680 8 months ago
The operative word being "dumb". "Obtuse" also comes to mind.🤔
Load More Replies... Vinnie 8 months ago
He doesn't sound ready for marriage if he set up a prank about avoiding it - and won't reassure the OP. Before we got married, my husband would joke on vacation - "There's a judge's office across the street, let's drop in tomorrow and get married!" Patient man - I needed more time.
Katiekat 8 months ago
Bring it up again, gauge his reaction VERY closely and critically, then make your own decision about whether he's mature or not, and I'm betting not. As in at all whatsoever. Make plans to get out and move on. All these people minimizing and deflecting can go take a long walk off a short plank. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Just stopping by 8 months ago
This is an overreaction to a joke that she wasn't present for. Though I think she's already had her doubts about whether they were actually heading in that direction. And this just tipped it over the edge for her.
Just_for_this 8 months ago
Come off it, the Men running from the (Idea of the) Bouquet is as much a 'tradition' as the wedding hungry women trying to catch it - Crass or not. BUT... that's not really the issue for OP. The issue is she's getting itchy feet, and sees this as a step backwards on their long term plan, and the only one who can 'steady the ship' wont be found on Reddit/BP.
Mark Alexander 8 months ago
I dunno. If someone forced me to randomly toss something with some alleged destiny I'd would definitely toss it right at them. There's too much missing context for me to judge.
meeeeeeeeeeee 8 months ago
Someone who makes jokes usually doesn't fit with someone that easily offended. Break up
KatSaidWhat 8 months ago
Ok, I lolled. Then my maturity kicked in and thought gtfo that relationship.
Alexandra Hall 8 months ago
Oh, Lovely, he’s an idiot and a child. Get rid. Honestly, that’s not funny. He is NOT funny. He’s a w****r. Girl, Run. In simple terms: He’s Roy from the office. Go and live your life. Be free from this rubbish. You don’t need a stupid, insecure, manipulative person who makes you feel small. He should be searching for ways to make your life better.
Lee Gilliland 8 months ago
"Just a joke" is assholease for "I'm bullying you and you have to take it or I get to make fun of you". Ditch him.
Kohl_Keene 8 months ago
It’s the way he saw her upset and invalidated her by saying don’t be upset. That’s a red flag to me
WonderWoman 8 months ago
First of all, don't have a wedding reception where you have to split up couples, cut your list or make adjustments, it is unfair to ask your friends to come to your wedding without their SO. Second, this man has just told OP that a wedding is not on the horizon, he is content to play house, but he has no intention of marrying her. She should have a nice long conversation covering where are we and what are we going to be doing and on what timeline, so she can decide if she is content with it.
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