Man Refuses To Accept GF’s Excuses For Why She Gained Weight, Wants Her To Go Back To 110 Pounds

Time goes on, and people change — both inside and out. Now that doctor and Reddit user _This_isnt_fine_ is approaching her thirties, she’s happy to be done with med school and would be excited about the future if it wasn’t for one thing.

As the woman explained in a post on r/TrueOffMyChest, her long-term boyfriend is unhappy that she no longer looks like she did when they first started dating. Throughout the years, she’s gained a few pounds and that, apparently, is a huge problem for him.

This woman worked long and hard to finish med school

Woman in medical scrubs sitting on floor looking stressed, representing depressing weight and relationship issues.

Image credits: standret (not the actual image)

But her boyfriend is not happy that it made her gain weight

Text excerpt from a woman explaining her boyfriend wants her to look like she did six years ago at 110 pounds.

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Alt text: Woman rejects boyfriend's demand to return to 110 pounds she weighed six years ago, calling it stupid and depressing.

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White analog bathroom scale showing a weight near 110 pounds on a dark wooden floor background.

Image credits: Joachim Schnürle (not the actual image)

Text about a man requiring his girlfriend to return to 110 pounds she weighed six years ago, causing emotional distress.

Text excerpt discussing the difficulty of losing 10 pounds and questioning a partner's dissatisfaction with a small weight increase.

Man insists girlfriend return to 110 pounds she weighed 6 years ago, sparking debate on weight and relationships.

Man and woman sitting apart on couch looking upset, reflecting conflict over girlfriend's weight and past pounds.

image credits: drobotdean (not the actual image)

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Text excerpt about a man requiring girlfriend to return to 110 pounds she weighed six years ago.

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Image credits: _this_isnt_fine_

Stress can, indeed, lead to weight gain

“When we are stressed, our bodies create more of a hormone called cortisol,” explains Dr. Kristy Dalrymple, a licensed clinical psychologist, associate director of the outpatient psychiatry practice at Rhode Island Hospital, and director of adult psychology at Rhode Island and The Miriam hospitals.

According to her, cortisol is partly responsible for how our body responds to danger, acts as an internal alarm clock for waking up and going to sleep, helps control blood pressure and glucose metabolism, and can reduce inflammation. Some medications use cortisol—known as hydrocortisone—to help reduce inflammation, either topically or systemically, such as over-the-counter creams for swelling and itching from bug bites.

Too much or too little cortisol can contribute to certain health conditions, including:

• changes in weight (both gain and loss)
• skin conditions
• muscle weakness
• anxiety or depression
• heart disease

“When we feel stressed—as many of us have for the last few years—our bodies can tip toward releasing too much cortisol, leading to weight gain, acne, trouble sleeping, headaches, and digestive problems,” Dalrymple says.

“The production of cortisol can also trigger your body to release extra insulin, and together these two hormones can lead your body to storing extra fat around the abdomen. Additionally, for many people, eating comforting foods is one way we respond to stress. The problem is that those foods tend to be less nutritionally valuable for our bodies and contain more calories than our body can expend.”

Image credits: yanalya (not the actual image)

However, changing or sticking to one’s lifestyle is their own personal choice

Lifestyle choices require motivation to come from within, and if the Redditor isn’t interested in making the effort, her boyfriend can’t force her to lose weight. If anyone, it’s her doctor, not him, who should discuss this topic with her. But judging from the post, there are no health issues—which makes her boyfriend look even worse. In fact, it’s entirely possible that the true reason for his dissatisfaction comes from a deeper place.

It’s true that people value looks in their long-term partners. One study suggests that 92 percent of men and 84 percent of women say it’s “desirable/essential” that their potential partner be good-looking, and 80 percent of men as well as 58 percent of women want them to have a slender body. But since this particular couple is six years into a relationship, the situation is a little different.

“When people are asked to list the most important qualities in a potential partner, kindness, physical attractiveness, an exciting personality, and income/earning potential tend to top the list,” says Gwendolyn Seidman, Ph.D., Associate Professor of Psychology at Michigan State University.

“But once you’re actually involved in a relationship, some of these traits become more important than others.”

“Research … found that those whose partners meet their ideals in terms of warmth and loyalty are more satisfied with their relationships. Having a partner who meets one’s ideals in terms of physical attractiveness, excitement, status, and wealth, on the other hand, is much less correlated with overall satisfaction,” Seidman explains.

“Research also found that having a partner who fell short on attractiveness, status, and excitement did not affect satisfaction if that partner was also highly warm, kind, and loyal. In other words, those more ‘superficial’ traits were not important at all for those whose partners were kind, understanding, and loyal.”

Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)

People have had a lot to say about the guy and his mean comments

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Commenter expressing strong opposition to a man requiring his girlfriend to return to her former weight six years ago.

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Comment on a weight loss demand, urging to avoid toxic partners and focus on self-respect and health over past weights.

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Comment about wife’s weight gain from 100 to 140 pounds, highlighting health and appreciation themes.

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Screenshot of an online comment discussing a man requiring his girlfriend to return to the weight she had six years ago.

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Screenshot of a social media comment criticizing a man who requires his girlfriend to return to her weight from six years ago.

Comment discussing relationship weight and partner's expectations about returning to a previous weight six years ago.

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Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing stress eating and criticizing a man for requiring his girlfriend to return to a past weight.

Comment text expressing anger at a man requiring his girlfriend to return to 110 pounds she weighed six years ago.

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