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“Just Gross To Me”: 50 People Share Red Flags That They Always Look Out For In People’s Homes
Welcome to my humble abode! Please take off your shoes at the front door and wash your hands when you come inside. Relax, and make yourself at home. And don’t mind the massive pile of moldy dishes in the kitchen sink. I promise, I’ll get to it later today…
You can learn a lot about a person by visiting their house. And sometimes, you realize that you don’t actually want to associate with them at all. Redditors have been discussing the biggest red flags that they’re on the lookout for when visiting a potential partner’s home, so we’ve gathered their thoughts down below. From disgusting living conditions to downright creepy decorations, be sure to upvote the things that would send you running for the hills too!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Anything MAGA related.
Wild Cream 4 months ago
Studies show people with far right-wing authoritarian views (aka MAGA) lack grey matter in some pretty significant areas of the brain related to things like empathy and social reasoning. It’s really interesting, here’s a pasted explanation and a link: Research indicates that right-wing authoritarianism (RWA) is associated with differences in brain structure and function, particularly in areas related to social cognition and empathy. Specifically, studies have found that individuals with higher RWA scores have less gray matter volume in the dorsomedial prefrontal cortex, an area crucial for understanding others' perspectives. Additionally, RWA is linked to cognitive errors and faulty reasoning, including difficulty with belief updating and making incorrect inferences. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/40250728/
RELATED:
#2
Mistreated/neglected animals i.e a dog constantly kept tied outside with no shelter, a cat with a super dirty litter box, or a fish with a disgusting tank.
tisnik:
The litter box is SO true. I don't even have a pet, but once I was visiting my sister and her roommate had cats. The litter box looked as if it wasn't cleaned for more than week. My other friend's cats wouldn't even go near that thing.
Thee8thsense 4 months ago
Pets give us so much, and I believe it should not only be our duty, but our joy to provide them with the best possible life.
#3
Anything hateful, or racist.
#4
Confederate flag.
Cathleen Cummings 4 months ago
This is right up- there with a swastika! (And should be higher on this list.)
#5
There’s no hand soap in the bathroom.
PeepPeep the duck 4 months ago
I had a lot of bachelor friends like this 😂 no TP, no light in the bathroom either
#6
Pet feces/urine. I understand there are accidents (I've always had pets - s**t happens) but if you just are lazy or don't potty train then that is a total red flag.
#8
A big sw*stika flag in the living room.
#9
The level of cleanliness. I understand that people have busy lives and im not expecting sterile hospital clean but if you a stay at home person and can’t be bothered to pick up the piles of stuff and let your pets use the floor as a bathroom im immediately walking back out.
Barbara Wilcock 4 months ago
Lots of people with depression and anxiety don't see the mess. It's not their fault
#10
A whole bunch of Jesus s**t, guns on the wall, confederate flags.
Forrest Hobbs 4 months ago
Be very polite, agree with everything they say, make a credible excuse, shake hands and leave with a smile, get in your car, drive away quite normally. And when you've got half a mile down the road, put your foot to the floor and get the héll out of there...
#11
A Live, Laugh, Love sign.
TheUnknown285:
Unless it's the Rob Zombie parody: "Live through the ditches, Laugh through the witches, Love in the back of my Dracula."
#12
Gun owner one: Weapons lying out in the open. Not all guns need be in a pristine luxury safe, but weapons should be stored in a main place with the ammo nearby. Guns scattered around speaks to laxity in safety and maintenance. The sort of people who you'll see in r/idiotswithguns or r/morbidreality one day.
#13
Cameras in every room, especially more private spaces, such a bedrooms and bathrooms.
BookFanatic 4 months ago
I used to think this way. Cameras can be lifesaving. My neighbors were advised to put up cameras in order to prove their teen was stealing booze. Ended catching up the teen threatening to end their parents and pulling a knife on their mom. Teen does not live with them any longer.
#14
If the house is dirty. I don't care about kids toys all over the place. I care that the dog pooped at least a week ago and no one cleaned it up. That tells me I probably don't want to sit on any surface or eat anything. And my clothing needs to go straight into the wash when I get home.
Jack Handy 4 months ago
Do people actually not clean up if a dog poops I the house? I’m disgusted just seeing poop left in the sidewalk.
#15
If things are to clean I get concerned. Like if you don’t have a drawer in ur kitchen full of b******t something up. I went to someone’s house one time and it literally felt like a sterile environment, there was so much white and it just felt impossibly clean and almost uncomfortable. I didn’t want to touch a single thing. Nobody could live like that. I don’t like slobs but there’s something about super clean houses that says serial k**ler.
#16
Ok so I have a friend I will call him B. Well B and I went to school together and recently started hanging out. We always enjoyed each others company. He wanted to be in a relationship but I didn't feel the same. A few weeks ago, he asked if I wanted to come over and watch a movie. I said sure and he picked me up after he ran some errands. We get to his place and next to his recliner were two large cups filled with pee. I was instantly grossed out. As he hurried to clear the pee cups he said “You weren't supposed to see that.” I guess he falls asleep in his recliner and when he has to pee, he just goes is a cup instead of going to the bathroom. That was just gross to me.
#17
The flag of the soviet union is a big red flag.
#18
That picture of the whole family with the K*K hoods is a slight turnoff.
#19
Dirty.
Not an unclean kitchen type dirty but when it's clear the snack wrappers have formed an alliance and are warring with the dirty clothes for dominance..
Dog Mom to Zoe 4 months ago (edited)
I had an acquaintance that never cleaned her stove. The grime and rust around the burners was disgusting. I drove a co worker to her home and asked if I could use her bathroom. I walked in, held it until I was able to get home. The toilet bowl was BLACK. H.O.W.???
#20
Filth. Not disarray or clutter - caked on, grimy, black crusted filth on things that should be cleaned on a daily. And roaches.
BookFanatic 4 months ago
OMG, yes, roaches. I understand like a random roach. Bugs get everywhere. But I visited a friend whose house was Roach Central. Roach poop everywhere, roaches on the toothbrushes, roaches on the potty. Roaches in the fridge. I opted not to stay for supper.
#21
I once had a date with a guy I had encountered several times when I was out with my friends. He was kind of shy (which I like), attractive but not necessarily handsome, just an average guy (which I like).
He asked me to dance every time we ran into each other and we had good conversations and laughs. I really liked him. He finally asked me out on a date. We went to dinner, had a great time, then he asked me if I’d like to come back to his place. Thinking I knew him well enough to say yes, we went to his house. He had 2 roommates who were also very nice and courteous. The roommates had a couple girls there which made a bit of a crowd. My date suggested we go into the den so we could listen to some music and talk for a while. I agreed.
We walked into “the den” and there was a huge bed! THAT was not the worst of it. The bed was surrounded with every type of camera you could imagine, all of them pointing toward that bed. There were studio type lights also surrounding the bed. As I stood in the doorway with my mouth open, the two roommates entered and turned on the lights and got ready to man the cameras.
Needless to say I exited that scene immediately. Every time I’d run into this guy he’d apologize and ask for another chance. Yeah, sure, idiot.
#22
Are they hoarders.
livinginafreefall:
My mom was (& still is) a hoarder and no matter how many times people try to help her or get her help, it goes nowhere. It’s a mental thing and even throwing away so much as a dirty, used napkin can warrant a temper tantrum. She refused to let us have friends over bc of the state of the house & it took a toll on the social life of my siblings & I since other kids & their parents always ended up feeling used & couldn’t understand why they couldn’t come over bc it was embarrassing to explain & we were terrified of saying why bc then it would open us up to bullying at school
Emilu 4 months ago
Hoarding is a mental health issue, as the poster states. I can understand how it might put off prospective dates, but at the same time it's not the same as just being a pig for the sake of it. I personally would treat a hoarder with the same empathy as anyone else with other mental health issues. Maybe not move in with them, though. 😆
#23
How clean their kitchen is so I know if I'm safe to eat something they make or to avoid it now or in the future.
#24
Punch or kick holes in walls or doors, or signs of recent repairs of same.
Nice things, but in poor maintenance. Taking things for granted can mean an attitude that equals taking people for granted.
Leonard Henderson 4 months ago
Also indicates someone that can't control their temper. Red Flag!
#25
A surprising number of people don't have soap by the kitchen sink. Soap with any sink really....should not be missing.
#26
He/Her still having photo frames of them with their exes/former partners.
Grape Walls of Ire 4 months ago
Ack, I need to fix that sentence. They still have framed photos of their exes. Whew, that's better.
#27
The bathroom. I personally think the state of the bathroom talks a lot about the personally of the owner.
BrownEyedGrrl 4 months ago
Years ago, I read an article about cleaning your house when you're expecting company. "The nastiest thing on earth is someone else's dirty bathroom."
#28
Too clean
Constant cleaning even when guests are present
Visibly upset if something is even slighty moved
Too dirty
Cat litter box full of feces and urine
Fresh and old urine spots from a dog
House smells like dirty or wet dogs or urine and feces
Too thin pets
Dirty mirrors
Dead house plants
Broken doors or cabinet doors
#29
I analyze the books on their shelf.
theycallmecliff:
See, this is tough, because I have some books that I've bought specifically for the purposes of exploring philosophies contradictory to my own. I keep them in a box in storage because I don't want people to think that they're what I subscribe to.
But I think it's important to understand, for example, modern f*****t thinkers as a socialist because I want to know what they're appealing to and how to communicate with people that don't know as much about these things in general and how they might be tempted by strands of those ideas.
Emilu 4 months ago
I like to know what people like to read, what their interests are and also what they're interested in learning. Just because you own a book about Hitler doesn't mean you're quietly aspiring to be like him. Frankly, I'd rather see a bit of everything on someone's bookshelves then everything dedicated to the same thing.
#30
Pictures of the Pope all over the house but no pictures of the actual family.
#31
Any deceased relatives sitting in chairs or locked in display cabinets like taxidermy pieces.
#32
Years ago had a grindr date with a guy it all seemed kosher and when I showed up I had a bad feeling, couldn't place it. He tried to get handsy but I had to listen to that little internal voice so I decided I wanted to leave, let him know and went to use the bathroom before I went home. Wall to wall was covered in s**t, like it was spread everywhere, on white tiles and it smelt rancid. I still wonder if I was subtly picking up the smell on my bad nose but either case I legged it out of there. I still don't understand why or how and what signs I missed because we had talked for ages before meeting.
# That is now the red flag I look for. S**t on the walls.
#34
Pee jars.
LobsterFar9876:
A guy at work we all hate told my bf that he’s to lazy to go downstairs to the bathroom at night so he pees in dr.pepper bottles and sh**s in a bucket and the pee bottles are all over his room because he wants to see how many he can fill.
TinkleTwinkleToes:
My former roommate was gross AF. My husband found the source of one of the smells were 3 fermenting pi*s bottles on the top shelf of his closet. He had his daughter stay over in his filth.
The bathroom was literally on the other side of his wall. Like, you open his door and the bathroom is literally 3 feet from his.
#38
I stopped eating @ my boyfriends bc their kitchen is ALWAYS dirty. Like, food on the floor dirty. I once used a cutting board for my lovely melon and it tasted LIKE ONION. They said oh yea its 'the vegetable cutting board'. I love to walk barefood, one time i stepped ON A PIECE OF MEAT. They are lovely people, the rest of the house is absolutely licked clean most of the time, but the kitchen just makes me wanna throw up. So thats a Red flag for me kinda
Also, if the house looks like no one lives in it. Like no personal items, no decoration, no nothing. Everything really sterile and stuff.
#39
You should be able to smell your answer immediately.
#40
Clean and reasonably tidy. Ideally no naked women displayed on the wall. That's really all I'm looking for.
#42
Having pin-up girls on his wall is a huge turnoff. Yes, there absolutely are men who still have these. Once you get out of college, you really need to switch your decor to something more tasteful and classy. Bare walls are not the best either, but they're far better than pin-up girls.
Grape Walls of Ire 4 months ago
Is that still a thing? No, it can't be. The OP must have just arrived from 1978.
#43
My former roommate had a sign that said “don’t give the whores d***s” so maybe something along those lines.
#45
Locks on the outside of interior bedroom doors.
marianne eliza 4 months ago (edited)
With one exception. If a pet, usually a cat, has figured out how to open doors, then the lock on the outside of the door is the only safe way to secure a forbidden room. Have one on my pantry door, and brother has one on his wine cellar door and pantry door. Some cats are too smart. Even my orange one. He's bogarting the brain cell.
#46
Skid marks in the toilet.
Day Andie 4 months ago
Oh, come on. If the toilet is flushed, and the bathroom is otherwise clean, can't you forgive a little skiddy? It's going to soak off and disappear with the next flush. Who among us hasn't left a skid upon occasion and then forgot to go back for a second flush before answering the door for unexpected company?
#47
Literal trash just sitting around. My first bfs house had pop cans just sitting around on a desk and on their kitchen island and then their entire kitchen stove was so gross I didn’t even want to eat off anything they made. Then one time I found cat poop just hanging out in their living room 🤢 that relationship didn’t last long.
#48
I went on a date recently with this girl. Went on a few. On the last one we got to her place and lo and behold - Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler was on her shelves. No no, not just one. A full f*****g bookshelf. I couldn't get myself to f**k her. "Giving this woman any pleasure would be a crime to humanity" is what I thought in the moment. I was in there for like 10 more mins after noticing it and then adressed the issue. She was a full on n**i. Too bad cuzz she was hot as f**k.
#49
Porcelain Dolls.
I know I'm not getting out alive.
#50
Hobbies may be underrated when it comes to a partner but I have found it informational. People who have hobbies, interests of their own tells you they don't spend all of their time trying to go out and get attention from the opposite s*x. They don't have the time or energy if they have hobbies and or interests. So look around for artsy stuff, maybe collections or things they've made or places they've been. What matters to them outside if dating.
#51
I was once invited to a guy’s house that scared the c**p out of me. It was actually a stunning mansion. He said he had lived there for almost a year but it was nearly empty — and he shared custody of his 5 year old son! The son’s room was only slightly less austere than the rest of the house.
He took me on a full tour which was odd because it was so huge yet so empty, so he basically showed me a bunch of empty rooms. He even opened his closet which was fairly full, but only three colors - black white and beige - arranged by color. He opened the pantry which was also fairly full, and I swear it was arranged by color too.
His son’s room rose the austerity to a creepy level.
But … the house was clean. It was super clean. And clean is always excellent. Creepy is not so good though.
#52
As a person with ADHD, if your house is messy, same bro. Only God can judge. The only red flag is a jumping dog. Like a big, giant dog jumping on you with giant claws. Freaks me out.
#55
A red flag would be to find female clothing in a closet when he said he lived alone.
#56
Things covered in dust.
Now of course I'm not saying your normal layer that most clean.
I'm talking hasn't been touched in months, not even a fingerprint on the surface.
Lady Eowyn 4 months ago
If I don't disturb the dust, it won't disturb me. Kidding, I've got allergies so I dust a lot but boy do things get dusty here fast!
#57
Comforting- good bedding, several pillows, nice sheets, bedside table available for my s**t, clean bathroom
Red flags- old mattress, dirty toilet, roll not on the roll, s****y pillows.
#59
The pictures they have displayed. Pictures with ex’s? Huge amount of pictures of them partying/beer and liquor bottles displayed? Large amount of pictures with family/mom (possible indicator that their mom’s views will always take precedent over yours).
Auntriarch 4 months ago
I've got a rather big collage of pictures of our first dog. Mr Auntriarch and I are in some of them
#60
Lack of personal touches, like no photos of family or friends. Otherwise, your partner could be crashing in someone else's home and passing it off as theirs. Surprisingly common in the Airbnb age.
#61
I like if he’s made his bed. If it’s unmade I feel like I’m dealing with a college kid and that’s tough. There are always allowances and I don’t make my bed every day either, but mostly it’s a turn off.
#62
I don’t look for red flags, I try not to judge or anything. But i suppose a “red flag” for me would be the difference in cleanliness of the doors around the door handle and the countertops.
#64
An entire wall of professionall shot and framed photos of their family. Bonus points if you spot a crusifix and a 'live, laugh, love' sign in the mix.
LooseSeal's $10 Banana 4 months ago
Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but having well done photos of your family on the wall seems like a green flag. Or at least neutral.
#65
How rigid is the style of their decor and furnishings, and does it seem compatible with yours? Do they have a hodgepodge of dishes, or is everything in the house blue & white China? The latter isn't a red flag if you're the same way, but in a LTR they might be challenging when it comes to cohabitation or compromising on esthetics.
#66
Great question! I personally am instantly repelled when I walk into a dudes place and see “Terrible Towel” curtains. Actually, any Steelers gear is a show stopper for me, my experience with these items and their owners just left an imprint on me and so…no.
A schnauzer. Any untrained dog. Anything that indicates his favorite place to eat is QDoba. Signage that says “no smoking” as if the occupant of the home is one of those super Intolerant types who exaggeratedly coughs and chokes if they see a person smoking in public. No paper towels. No curtains on windows.
Oh! But this actually happened to me once. Went to a guys house. Being a late night person I went over at like 4 am and we were hanging out and at 6 am sharp all electrical functions in his apt switched completely off. Turned out that he had rerouted the apartment bldg outside lighting’s wiring to supply electricity to a couple power strips hanging out of holes in the wall by the front door. He hadn't paid his power bill in a year, and the outside lighting was…you guessed it…solar deactivated and turned off by the rising sun. Turned out he was, unsurprisingly, also a seasoned m*th coinesseur who liked to watch p**n in front of females he wanted to woo. No f**king thanks man.
#67
Stinky, not clean smell.
Nothing in the fridge but beer and condiments.
No plants.
Evidence of a ladies’ influence or presence.
Someone over the age of 30 that looks like their place is still decorated in the style of I-just-moved-out-of-my-parents-house.
Barbara Wilcock 4 months ago
Good lord. Get a life. I love plants,but im not going batshit crazy if they don't have them
#69
Toilets that don’t flush. Cops will cut the water before a raid so you can’t flush your stash.
Matt from Canada 4 months ago
Red flag: People who know the cops will cut the water before a raid so you can't flush your stash
#70
I like to see a tidy room with things generally organized, the bathroom cleaned and the fridge with more than condiments. Bonus points for good neutral not overbearing purposeful smell in the room. I remember going to my now husbands apartment and noting not much in the fridge and the bathroom not exceptionally clean...nothing gross just not well attended to. I gave him the benefit of the doubt...guess who does not cook or clean...this remains a huge inequity in my relationship. Cooking and cleaning are essential life tasks; do it for yourself, when you have a sleepover and when you have a partner.
WalterWhiteSavannah 4 months ago
How does it take until marriage to realize he doesn't cook or clean? Like you had to know that before getting to the marriage point, unless he used to and just stopped, but it doesn't sound like that was the case.
#71
Cats in the kitchen. I like cats, I just won’t eat anything you’ve made.
Clutter and disarray - like no space on the sofa because it’s got laundry and debris on it. I won’t want to sit down.
General dirt - you can tell a house which is cleaned regularly, it could look like a complete mess with toys all over the place but there’s a difference in a place which is a mess because of lives lived, and somewhere which is NEVER tidied or cleaned.
I grew up with a chaotic family environment which was never cleaned enough and that’s had an effect on how I live my life now, and dirt and mess really makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. I would never spend any time with someone who lived life like that.
Barbara Wilcock 4 months ago
And this is why you don't have friends. Nobody wants you in their house
#73
Animals, state of cleanliness, furniture, and how their fridge is filled or not.
#75
1. Slovenliness - Dirty bathroom, closet on the floor, crusty towels, lack of ownership of common household necessities like sheets. Do yourself a favor and only date housebroken people.
2. Signs of a partner that is not you - beauty/bath products, pictures on the fridge, decorations that seem to reflect someone other than the partner (Usually goes hand-in-hand with "your" partner being unavailable for odd stretches of time). Um, yeah. Run.
3. Signs of terminal singlehood - A 72 inch TV, one recliner and a table with lotion on it, p**n/ s*x toys within view in the living room/bathroom, etc. Chances are this person will not be good at navigating partner issues.
4. Signs of substance abuse - 5 cases of Busch Light, 4 vodka bottles, 3 m**h pipes, two dirty bongs? Not a partner in a pair tree.
5. Signs of massive expenditures/misplaced priorities - A person with a $20k collection of toys, electronics, clothing who only owns 1 pan and eats off paper plates. You don't want to join forces with someone who will buy a life-sized Darth Vader or $800 pair of shoes before they pay the rent.
Matt from Canada 4 months ago
Red flag: someone with this many specific red flags. Dating this lady would be a misplaced priority. Full stop.
#76
Butcher knives outside of the kitchen. An exception can be made for this time of. Year because it might be a gift that just hasn't been put away, but a mid-summer butcher knife in the bathroom is a red flag. Especially if it's.. red.
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Emilu 4 months ago
I get obviously red flags are a personal thing, but some of these just seemed petty. No plants? Yeah, you self-select yourself out of my dating pool, please and thank you.
Rick Murray 4 months ago
I have several acres outside, why would I bother with a plant inside? 🤷🏻♀️
Load More Replies... Daya Meyer 4 months ago
What is it with those urine filled bottles? I mean if you use a bottles for whatever reason, okay. But why should someone collect them like trophies?
Little Bit 4 months ago
My biggest red flag would be someone who locks all the doors when you've entered the house, meaning you would have to ask to leave.
Angela C 4 months ago
Most locks you don't need a key to unlock from the inside
Load More Replies...
Rachel Reynolds 4 months ago
My best friend went home with a guy after, what she said was a really nice date, only to find a Real Doll sitting up in the living room "watching" TV. She noped out of there and I would have too.
UKGrandad 4 months ago
It might have been a trick to fool burglars into thinking someone was home 😇
Load More Replies...
Michael Largey 4 months ago
Here's one I was expecting - "You go over to his place and find yourself standing in his mother's basement".
marianne eliza 4 months ago
I think if you culled all the dirty house entries down to just one, this list would be more interesting.
CartoonCasey 4 months ago
I thought that 'racist/bigot' entries would dominate this edition of the red flag articles, especially when one of those entries was a literal red flag with a swastika. But the actual topic with the most entries is the 'weird s**t' with 12 entries ranging from dolls to photos of their ex to pictures of the pope. The strangest and most unique entry is the collection of dead people. 10 entries for unsanitary, which is different than just plain dirty with 6 entries. Then there are the 8 entries of unsafe conditions which include sketchy locks or cameras. I did not include the full scale p**n studio entry which deserves to be called out of from the rest of the crowd because WOW.
Emilu 4 months ago
I get obviously red flags are a personal thing, but some of these just seemed petty. No plants? Yeah, you self-select yourself out of my dating pool, please and thank you.
Rick Murray 4 months ago
I have several acres outside, why would I bother with a plant inside? 🤷🏻♀️
Load More Replies... Daya Meyer 4 months ago
What is it with those urine filled bottles? I mean if you use a bottles for whatever reason, okay. But why should someone collect them like trophies?
Little Bit 4 months ago
My biggest red flag would be someone who locks all the doors when you've entered the house, meaning you would have to ask to leave.
Angela C 4 months ago
Most locks you don't need a key to unlock from the inside
Load More Replies... Rachel Reynolds 4 months ago
My best friend went home with a guy after, what she said was a really nice date, only to find a Real Doll sitting up in the living room "watching" TV. She noped out of there and I would have too.
UKGrandad 4 months ago
It might have been a trick to fool burglars into thinking someone was home 😇
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 4 months ago
Here's one I was expecting - "You go over to his place and find yourself standing in his mother's basement".
marianne eliza 4 months ago
I think if you culled all the dirty house entries down to just one, this list would be more interesting.
CartoonCasey 4 months ago
I thought that 'racist/bigot' entries would dominate this edition of the red flag articles, especially when one of those entries was a literal red flag with a swastika. But the actual topic with the most entries is the 'weird s**t' with 12 entries ranging from dolls to photos of their ex to pictures of the pope. The strangest and most unique entry is the collection of dead people. 10 entries for unsanitary, which is different than just plain dirty with 6 entries. Then there are the 8 entries of unsafe conditions which include sketchy locks or cameras. I did not include the full scale p**n studio entry which deserves to be called out of from the rest of the crowd because WOW.
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