Wife Upset As Her Husband Bakes His Favorite Cherry Cake For His 32nd Birthday Party Though She Bought Him A Cheesecake
What can cause a marital quarrel? Probably, some disagreements about children, finances, household chores. Perhaps, a car, overly entitled relatives of one of the spouses, alcohol… finally, adultery or suspicion of it. There are many reasons – as if people are just waiting for the right moment to get into argument.
And a marital quarrel can happen because of a cake. More specifically, because of a birthday cake. It sounds completely ridiculous, one must admit, but how many times have we already seen that, from the point of view of various plot twists, real life is much more fantastic than any film or TV show?
Another confirmation of that fact is this particular story, which a few days ago in his post in the AITA Reddit community, the user u/Whole_Ferret9774 kindly told. As of today, the post has over 8.6K upvotes and nearly 1.5K different comments. However, it is possible that the post’s popularity is due to the fact that the author published the recipe for that very cake… Who knows? In any case, we have attached this recipe as well.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post was about to celebrate his upcoming birthday with his wife and friends
Image credits: Susanne Nilsson (not the actual image)
So, the author of the original post has been married for about a year to a woman whom he had previously dated for five years. And now, his first birthday as a husband was approaching, so it was time for a traditional cake.
Image credits: u/Whole_Ferret9774
The man had a special favorite cake with his parents’ old recipe
The thing is that literally from childhood, our hero has had a favorite cake which his parents used to bake for him. It was a special recipe for a chocolate-covered cherry cake that was not available in any of the local stores, so the boy could only eat it once a year.
Image credits: u/Whole_Ferret9774
It is not surprising that the cake became his favorite over the years, and as an adult, the man first baked it for himself, and then did it together with his girlfriend, who later became his wife. So the woman was well aware of her husband’s favorite sweet. However, this time, things didn’t go as planned…
Image credits: MyLifeStory (not the actual image)
When the wife asked which cake he wanted for the party, the man simply answered that he wanted the same cherry cake
When the wife asked the OP what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday party, he said that his tastes had not changed at all, and he would like the same cherry cake with chocolate. The wife replied that she would not really like to do the baking herself, to which the OP objected that it was not a problem at all, as he would happily bake his favorite sweet himself.
Image credits: u/Whole_Ferret9774
A few days later the question was repeated – with a similar answer from the OP. In any case, the man simply bought all the necessary ingredients and put them into the fridge in advance. Imagine his surprise when, literally on the eve of the holiday, he looked into the fridge and saw a cheesecake with the letters “Happy Birthday!” on it.
Image credits: Nenad Stojkovic (not the actual image)
The woman bought a cheesecake in advance but the husband just took all the ingredients and baked his favorite cake on his own
The wife admitted that she bought this cheesecake in advance. It’s not that our hero doesn’t like this kind of cake, but she buys them almost every month, he admits. But cherry chocolate cake appears on the festive table only once a year, so he believes that he can really afford it. Be that as it may, the man just took out all the stored ingredients and habitually baked his favorite cake.
Image credits: u/Whole_Ferret9774
And it turned out to be a strategic mistake! Apparently, his wife obviously did not like this, so she was cold with him throughout the birthday party, and after it, she also showed in every possible way that she remained offended. Usually our hero moves mountains and heaven to give her the things she wants on her birthdays, as he himself admits – so what was the problem with her pleasing his (far from capricious) desires at least once a year?
The woman got offended at the husband, though he really has no clue why – nor do the people in the comments
People in the comments also wondered what the problem was, although some of them suspected that the author of the post was just not saying something, and the reason might lie elsewhere. However, in response to comments, the OP admitted that he himself also has no clue – except that his wife simply does not like chocolate.
In any case, as the commenters say, his own birthday means his own party, and everyone deserves to have exactly what they like on their special day. Be that as it may, the most popular comment was the request to share the recipe for that same cherry cake with chocolate, so the man did not refuse. We have to agree, it looks extremely appetizing!
We are sure that you are already writing down this recipe for yourself, and after you are done, please feel free to write what you think about this tale in the comments. Well, if you too have experienced something like this, we are already looking forward to your own story as well.
NTA, but something is weird about OP's wife's unreasonably dramatic and overblown response...after ignoring what OP actually wanted and getting what she wanted instead. You two need to have a chat.
This reminds me of my childhood... my mom would always get the cake that was HER favorite, never my favorite/what I wanted. In fact, she would get the only cake I hate (German chocolate) and while I was careful never to throw a fit or get pouty about it (both things would have resulted in beatings), I definitely told her that I did not like German chocolate and I really would prefer just a chocolate cake. But no, every year, even up to this year when I turned 40, my mother gets me either a German chocolate cake or an ice cream cake (her second favorite). It's self-centered narcissism. It sounds like OP loves cheesecake since she gets one so often, and is utterly offended that her husband isn't kissing her feet for "the effort" that she made. My mom does the same thing - gets pissed when you aren't totally fawningly grateful for the things she does/makes/buys "for you", even if it's something you dislike.
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The cherry cake sounds horrible to me BUT it is HIS birthday. Sounds like the wife was trying to have a little power trip and got mad when he made his own cake.
I want one now. Makes me think of the schwartzwalder kirsch torte my parents sometimes bought. Decilious. I never tried cheese cake, cause I keep thinking they put salty Dutch cheese in it and I know they don't, but still haven't tried it. schwarzwae...-torte.jpg 
She didn't want to make the cake and she didn't want to feel guilty for not making the cake, so she took the lazy option to relieve herself of any guilt. Then she got mad because she was forced to feel that guilt, and acted out like a stubborn child . . . feeling embarressed and guilty
Here you guys go (OP is whole_ferret):***INFO: Has your wife been “difficult” in other situations where she didn’t get her way? Does she usually ignore what you say? Does she even like you? NTA *** whole_Ferret: No she's never given me the silent treatment or ignore me when she didn't get her way or really act difficult. The only thing that comes close is when she suggests eating out/ordering out. She'll ask what I feel like, I tell her, and she goes with what she wants, but those instances it was her idea so no big deal to me. *** So in fact she does have a history of asking what you would like and then ignoring it to get what she wants. No half / half compromise. Why bother asking you? She’s incredibly selfish and made your birthday all about her. *** (different commenter): You just literally gave examples of her doing this, but you neglect to realize the reason she never gave you the silent treatment before is because you let her have her way when she's being selfish. If a person really cares about your opinion they'll compromise or go with it a % of the time instead of going with what they wanted all along every time. Your wife sounds selfish & you just haven't realized it yet.
nta she asked what he wanted and then did she decided to do what she wants on his birth day
My dad really likes Black Forrest cake, but mom and I are very lukewarm about it. But we still get Black Forrest cake for his birthday. Though in the last few years, mom and dad would just rather get some individual slices because they don't want all the leftover cake. That way, everyone gets what they like. But I'm sure most people want a full cake! I guess she doesn't like his cake... but I don't know why she got so defensive about him still wanting his own cake. Have to wonder what's going on there.
This seems like red-flag behavior. She asked him what cake he wants and ignored his preference (dishonest and inconsiderate). Then she went and got her favorite cake because "everyone likes it" (selfish). Then being sore and pouty at the party (self-centered). If this is a one-time issue and she can recognize and apologize for her actions, then it's ok. However if this is a pattern of behavior and she makes excuses/deflects, then that's a major red-flag.
This isn't about cake. Not sure if OP's wife is overly controlling, if this was a miscommunication, or if she feels she's not being heard. OP made a cake he liked for his own birthday party- not exactly a marital Crime-of-the-Century. These two ought have an honest chat or try some counseling IMO.
NTA. Your spouse is jealous of your birthday cake. Now I've heard it all.
Why would you be mad at something your spouse decided to make for themselves on their birthday because they wanted it? That doesn't make even a little bit of sense. You're a grown man, you can have what you want. And it's absolutely no skin off her nose that you took it upon yourself to make it, especially since there will be other people who will partake in the cheesecake.
Wtf. This is his birthday, his party. So he has the right to choose to eat his cherry cake if he want. Why does it matter to her? He's the one baking it, the one eating it. Eat your cheesecake, stop your tantrum, and leave your husband alone. Also, no, not everyone looooooves cheesecake. Again, wtf is wrong with her?
It's HIS birthday, not his wife's, so NTA. Also, the cake in the picture mkaes my mouth water...
Look at all the comments... that's why. BP knows it gets people commenting and that's what they're after. You've only helped improve the stats on this article by clicking on it AND commenting.
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NTA, op's wife is being a big AH. She asked him twice what he wanted for his birthday, and bought a different cake anyways. If the cake was the same every year then she should know if the guests liked it or not. She suddenly tried to change. Also, it's his bday, he got the right to choose. He got the ingredients and made a cake alone, he didn't forced her to do anything for him at any moment.
If the guests didn’t like it, they could have chosen a slice of what she bought. Either way it’s no skin off her nose - if they all have cheesecake she gets to feel smug and the OP gets his cherry cake, if they all have cherry cake she has loads of cheesecake - it’s a win/win
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I agree with one of the original post replies, there is never too much cake at a party. Ever.
Wife is strange, but the cake recipe made me sad. Box mix and cool whip... What a tragedy. But if it's what he likes, I would bake it for him as often as he wants. You want to please people you love!
I don't know why you've been down voted. My wife has "The Cake Doctor" recipe book. Every recipe starts with a box mix and then added ingredients that make them the best cakes ever!! Seriously, you should try them.
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NTA, but it sounds like OP needs to have a real conversation with his wife about this, as it is unclear whether she was riding roughshod over his stated preference and wishes purely to get her own favourite served, or if there might be something else in her motivation. I was expecting a completely home-made cake (not pre-mixed ingredients) which would be more effort to prepare. The cake doesn't sound great to me, but hey that is just my personal taste (I'm not a fan all the ingredients). But the point is it was OP's birthday and OP was more than willing to bake the cake on his own and it was OP's tradition to have it on his birthday. Had OP's wife bought a cheesecake and maybe something else saying these are so people have choice/get to indulge more, she would be TA either, but by getting two cheesecakes both with Happy Birthday written on them it seems she was actively trying to replace the cake OP planned to make as the feature dessert.
That cherry cake sounds disgusting. Maybe your wife didn't want to inflict it on your guests? Truly, it's disgusting. Something a toddler would like.
It's his birthday, he made the cake himself, there's no reason for her to be upset. He agreed to serve both cakes and let guests choose, that's a perfectly reasonable solution.
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NTA. This is not about the cakes. Something is up on wife's end. Serving both cakes at your party was how it should have been handled.
Sounds to me like he should have considered two cakes from the get-go. Much as the wife was absolutely an a-hole in the way she went about it, that’s a weird-a*s cake. I can’t imagine putting that in my mouth, but if this was my friend I wouldn’t want to insult him by not eating any. Two cakes is a good solution.
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NTA ... That chocolate cherry cake sounds fab well, apart from the almond essence, but no, definitely need to be having a serious conversation with his wife.
Two cakes sound awesome! Cherry cake with almond extract sounds amazing, btw. Eat them both, and have a few salads in the near future.
I think he had every right to his cake. But WHY he would want that recipe with boxed mix and canned filling, that's a mystery. One a lifetime is too often. But whatever.
Escape. If there's no underlying reasons left out for this and it's just "she bought the cake she likes, said it was good for everyone and blasted me for wanting my cake on my birthday" and that's it, get out of there... that is not someone you want to waste your life on.
Yeesh, I hope this isn't the norm in their relationship. He seems like to like peace and harmony and it sounds like she just can't stand it. I feel for the guy. It's his birthday, ffs. A petty move would be to make it on her birthday instead of the thing she requests TWICE!
NTA but your wife absolutely is. Which part of YOUR BIRTHDAY does she not grasp? It's your birthday and therefore you 100% get to decide what you want and how you want it. Your wife sounds like a narcissist.
My sister loves chocolate cake and I love German chocolate cake. If I was making her a cake for her birthday, I would make her a chocolate cake because that's what she likes. The wife sounds a little nutty to be getting upset with her husband on his birthday over a cake. She asked what cake he wanted, he told her, and she did what she wanted to do. The only person that she should be mad at is herself for ignoring her husband's request.
I agree with everything except your cake comparison. We’re not talking about people preferring different kinds of chocolate; the recipe he provided for the cake above includes ‘a jar of maraschino cherries’ and ‘pie filling’. He can like what he likes and no judgement, but I would not be able to eat that. I can understand the wife wanting something else (and I bet she’s had requests from others over the years), but she was a jerk about it. They married young, hopefully they’ll talk it out and learn to compromise.
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What kind of psycho gets upset because someone baked their own cake? Serve them both. She must be very insecure.
I wish my troubles were about cake. Clearly there is either a different dynamic going on, something not cake related, or the wife clearly had too much time on her hands and enjoys drama. Lots of people love drama in their lives. Beats me why, but I see it all the time.
NTA. Here's something similar - I used to date a retired guy who said he wanted a flannel shirt for Christmas. Fine, I bought him a flannel shirt. He was happy. He asked what I wanted and bought it for me. No drama.
No real a******s here, but no one’s being especially kind here either. He can like whatever cake he wants and have it on his birthday; however, that cake sounds like a nightmare to me and I would have found a way to gently suggest that we have a second dessert for those who don’t like this first. Sounds like the wife knows lots of people hate his cake, but wasn’t equipped with the skills to discuss it with him. Sounds like they married VERY young - which is fine, but there will be maturity issues.
NTA, but I do agree that there is probably a reason she just now having an issue with a tradition you guys have continued 6years into your marriage. Is it possible that on the years you bake it alone she has some perceived notion that you're unhappy baking it alone? You seem like a nice person so I would imagine you wouldn't pout or act salty for having to bake your cake alone, but maybe she feels obligated to help and is projecting her disdain for baking onto you? Or maybe she feels like her efforts elsewhere aren't being appreciated/you'd rather do things your own way in other areas of your life and marriage, and the cake? Or maybe her love language is giving gifts and she feels like she's being robbed of surprising g you because you always want the same thing (not your fault, you deserve to be loved in your own love language)? If it still hasn't blown over then it may be worth exploring. But you know more about your life than I do, all my insights are based on assumptions anyways.
I made this cake l last weekend. Super easy and absolutely delicious. Will definitely be making it again. It was a hit in our house!
My partner loves a giant blueberry muffin for his birthday cake. Just a really plain muffiin-type butter cake with blueberries in it, with no frosting. I, on the other hand, have been called “the Cake Queen”. Cakes are my thing. Elaborate, multi-layered, rich and fancy. But on his birthday, I bake him his blueberry cake, and I do it with a smile. Hell, it isn’t much to ask for, is it? It’s his birthday, and I love him. The OP’s wife concerns me; either this lady has some problems, or she’s just plain mean. I feel for the poor guy.
Sorry, but wifey-poo sounds like a bit of a controlling toddler b***h having a tantrum. Though that cake sounds terrible to me, he should have what he wants on his birthday for heaven’s sake and not have to be subjected to her unreasonable petty behaviour ruining his party and his day. There’s more issues in this relationship I’m sure that he’s going to have to deal with.
She is hiding something from you and is using the cake as an excuse to be mad. She has either done something or using this cake to not feel guilt for whatever. I think you need to dig deep to find out her problem that has become your problem. She is acting very childish.
To be fair, I would be willing to bet that more people love professionally baked cheesecake than the recipe he provided. :) The wife was totally a jerk, but as someone who likes a lot of weird-a*s desserts I can’t imagine not considering having a second dessert before now for people who might be grossed out by that.
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I get wanting to do something nice as a surprise. I love surprising friends. I also know if a friend is particular about something for say, their birthday, I will ask them before doing something different. If they insist that they're fine doing XYZ, even if I can't contribute and they have no issue with that, then that's that! Otherwise, I try to be a part of the thing and help them! The wife literally could have discussed this. Could have explained, if she didn't like the cake, that she would like to do something different ALONGSIDE his cake - which the guy obviously was fine with. But nope, people need to take control. God forbid they go with the flow. There's plenty of times to be assertive. There's many more times to stfu and chill, and go with the flow.
NTA but I'm seriously interested in doing a little baking now because cherry cake sounds interesting. Might replace or go easy on the rum because I'm not too big a fan of alcoholic cakes. Apologies for any alterations that might occur OP :-)
Nta. He should get the cake he wants on his birthday. I hated carrot cake for a long time because my Mom's boyfriend's brother had a birthday the same month as me, but I got carrot cake on MY birthday at least a few years in a row because that's what HE liked. He was in his lateish 20's, early thirties at the time and I was a child. 😑
I miss when bored panda was more about facts and funny things now it's all about drama and aita
They still have those other posts. Try clicking on separate categories if you don't see it on the front page.
Load More Replies... NTA. Why did she even ask if she wasn't going to give you what she wanted? I would have thrown the cheesecake right in her face. Ok not really but she definitely needs some perspective here. I hope that she'll be able to take a step back and recognize her troubling behavior.
Omg can we just please stop the BS stories from reddit aita. I am believing less and less of these.
YTA, you made her feel shitty for trying to do something nice. Yes, its your birthday can make your cake anytime, you're having a party. Be considerate. She can't un-buy the cakes, so why make a thing of it? Btw, she is right. Most people like cheesecake, yours sounds gross
You sound like a woman that yells all women can do no wrong. He wanted a cake he loves on his birthday. It isn’t about his wife. Not everything is always about women. Let the man eat the cake he loves.
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NTA, but something is weird about OP's wife's unreasonably dramatic and overblown response...after ignoring what OP actually wanted and getting what she wanted instead. You two need to have a chat.
This reminds me of my childhood... my mom would always get the cake that was HER favorite, never my favorite/what I wanted. In fact, she would get the only cake I hate (German chocolate) and while I was careful never to throw a fit or get pouty about it (both things would have resulted in beatings), I definitely told her that I did not like German chocolate and I really would prefer just a chocolate cake. But no, every year, even up to this year when I turned 40, my mother gets me either a German chocolate cake or an ice cream cake (her second favorite). It's self-centered narcissism. It sounds like OP loves cheesecake since she gets one so often, and is utterly offended that her husband isn't kissing her feet for "the effort" that she made. My mom does the same thing - gets pissed when you aren't totally fawningly grateful for the things she does/makes/buys "for you", even if it's something you dislike.
Load More Replies... The cherry cake sounds horrible to me BUT it is HIS birthday. Sounds like the wife was trying to have a little power trip and got mad when he made his own cake.
I want one now. Makes me think of the schwartzwalder kirsch torte my parents sometimes bought. Decilious. I never tried cheese cake, cause I keep thinking they put salty Dutch cheese in it and I know they don't, but still haven't tried it. schwarzwae...-torte.jpg
She didn't want to make the cake and she didn't want to feel guilty for not making the cake, so she took the lazy option to relieve herself of any guilt. Then she got mad because she was forced to feel that guilt, and acted out like a stubborn child . . . feeling embarressed and guilty
Here you guys go (OP is whole_ferret):***INFO: Has your wife been “difficult” in other situations where she didn’t get her way? Does she usually ignore what you say? Does she even like you? NTA *** whole_Ferret: No she's never given me the silent treatment or ignore me when she didn't get her way or really act difficult. The only thing that comes close is when she suggests eating out/ordering out. She'll ask what I feel like, I tell her, and she goes with what she wants, but those instances it was her idea so no big deal to me. *** So in fact she does have a history of asking what you would like and then ignoring it to get what she wants. No half / half compromise. Why bother asking you? She’s incredibly selfish and made your birthday all about her. *** (different commenter): You just literally gave examples of her doing this, but you neglect to realize the reason she never gave you the silent treatment before is because you let her have her way when she's being selfish. If a person really cares about your opinion they'll compromise or go with it a % of the time instead of going with what they wanted all along every time. Your wife sounds selfish & you just haven't realized it yet.
nta she asked what he wanted and then did she decided to do what she wants on his birth day
My dad really likes Black Forrest cake, but mom and I are very lukewarm about it. But we still get Black Forrest cake for his birthday. Though in the last few years, mom and dad would just rather get some individual slices because they don't want all the leftover cake. That way, everyone gets what they like. But I'm sure most people want a full cake! I guess she doesn't like his cake... but I don't know why she got so defensive about him still wanting his own cake. Have to wonder what's going on there.
This seems like red-flag behavior. She asked him what cake he wants and ignored his preference (dishonest and inconsiderate). Then she went and got her favorite cake because "everyone likes it" (selfish). Then being sore and pouty at the party (self-centered). If this is a one-time issue and she can recognize and apologize for her actions, then it's ok. However if this is a pattern of behavior and she makes excuses/deflects, then that's a major red-flag.
This isn't about cake. Not sure if OP's wife is overly controlling, if this was a miscommunication, or if she feels she's not being heard. OP made a cake he liked for his own birthday party- not exactly a marital Crime-of-the-Century. These two ought have an honest chat or try some counseling IMO.
NTA. Your spouse is jealous of your birthday cake. Now I've heard it all.
Why would you be mad at something your spouse decided to make for themselves on their birthday because they wanted it? That doesn't make even a little bit of sense. You're a grown man, you can have what you want. And it's absolutely no skin off her nose that you took it upon yourself to make it, especially since there will be other people who will partake in the cheesecake.
Wtf. This is his birthday, his party. So he has the right to choose to eat his cherry cake if he want. Why does it matter to her? He's the one baking it, the one eating it. Eat your cheesecake, stop your tantrum, and leave your husband alone. Also, no, not everyone looooooves cheesecake. Again, wtf is wrong with her?
It's HIS birthday, not his wife's, so NTA. Also, the cake in the picture mkaes my mouth water...
Look at all the comments... that's why. BP knows it gets people commenting and that's what they're after. You've only helped improve the stats on this article by clicking on it AND commenting.
Load More Replies... NTA, op's wife is being a big AH. She asked him twice what he wanted for his birthday, and bought a different cake anyways. If the cake was the same every year then she should know if the guests liked it or not. She suddenly tried to change. Also, it's his bday, he got the right to choose. He got the ingredients and made a cake alone, he didn't forced her to do anything for him at any moment.
If the guests didn’t like it, they could have chosen a slice of what she bought. Either way it’s no skin off her nose - if they all have cheesecake she gets to feel smug and the OP gets his cherry cake, if they all have cherry cake she has loads of cheesecake - it’s a win/win
Load More Replies... I agree with one of the original post replies, there is never too much cake at a party. Ever.
Wife is strange, but the cake recipe made me sad. Box mix and cool whip... What a tragedy. But if it's what he likes, I would bake it for him as often as he wants. You want to please people you love!
I don't know why you've been down voted. My wife has "The Cake Doctor" recipe book. Every recipe starts with a box mix and then added ingredients that make them the best cakes ever!! Seriously, you should try them.
Load More Replies... NTA, but it sounds like OP needs to have a real conversation with his wife about this, as it is unclear whether she was riding roughshod over his stated preference and wishes purely to get her own favourite served, or if there might be something else in her motivation. I was expecting a completely home-made cake (not pre-mixed ingredients) which would be more effort to prepare. The cake doesn't sound great to me, but hey that is just my personal taste (I'm not a fan all the ingredients). But the point is it was OP's birthday and OP was more than willing to bake the cake on his own and it was OP's tradition to have it on his birthday. Had OP's wife bought a cheesecake and maybe something else saying these are so people have choice/get to indulge more, she would be TA either, but by getting two cheesecakes both with Happy Birthday written on them it seems she was actively trying to replace the cake OP planned to make as the feature dessert.
That cherry cake sounds disgusting. Maybe your wife didn't want to inflict it on your guests? Truly, it's disgusting. Something a toddler would like.
It's his birthday, he made the cake himself, there's no reason for her to be upset. He agreed to serve both cakes and let guests choose, that's a perfectly reasonable solution.
Load More Replies... NTA. This is not about the cakes. Something is up on wife's end. Serving both cakes at your party was how it should have been handled.
Sounds to me like he should have considered two cakes from the get-go. Much as the wife was absolutely an a-hole in the way she went about it, that’s a weird-a*s cake. I can’t imagine putting that in my mouth, but if this was my friend I wouldn’t want to insult him by not eating any. Two cakes is a good solution.
Load More Replies... NTA ... That chocolate cherry cake sounds fab well, apart from the almond essence, but no, definitely need to be having a serious conversation with his wife.
Two cakes sound awesome! Cherry cake with almond extract sounds amazing, btw. Eat them both, and have a few salads in the near future.
I think he had every right to his cake. But WHY he would want that recipe with boxed mix and canned filling, that's a mystery. One a lifetime is too often. But whatever.
Escape. If there's no underlying reasons left out for this and it's just "she bought the cake she likes, said it was good for everyone and blasted me for wanting my cake on my birthday" and that's it, get out of there... that is not someone you want to waste your life on.
Yeesh, I hope this isn't the norm in their relationship. He seems like to like peace and harmony and it sounds like she just can't stand it. I feel for the guy. It's his birthday, ffs. A petty move would be to make it on her birthday instead of the thing she requests TWICE!
NTA but your wife absolutely is. Which part of YOUR BIRTHDAY does she not grasp? It's your birthday and therefore you 100% get to decide what you want and how you want it. Your wife sounds like a narcissist.
My sister loves chocolate cake and I love German chocolate cake. If I was making her a cake for her birthday, I would make her a chocolate cake because that's what she likes. The wife sounds a little nutty to be getting upset with her husband on his birthday over a cake. She asked what cake he wanted, he told her, and she did what she wanted to do. The only person that she should be mad at is herself for ignoring her husband's request.
I agree with everything except your cake comparison. We’re not talking about people preferring different kinds of chocolate; the recipe he provided for the cake above includes ‘a jar of maraschino cherries’ and ‘pie filling’. He can like what he likes and no judgement, but I would not be able to eat that. I can understand the wife wanting something else (and I bet she’s had requests from others over the years), but she was a jerk about it. They married young, hopefully they’ll talk it out and learn to compromise.
Load More Replies... What kind of psycho gets upset because someone baked their own cake? Serve them both. She must be very insecure.
I wish my troubles were about cake. Clearly there is either a different dynamic going on, something not cake related, or the wife clearly had too much time on her hands and enjoys drama. Lots of people love drama in their lives. Beats me why, but I see it all the time.
NTA. Here's something similar - I used to date a retired guy who said he wanted a flannel shirt for Christmas. Fine, I bought him a flannel shirt. He was happy. He asked what I wanted and bought it for me. No drama.
No real a******s here, but no one’s being especially kind here either. He can like whatever cake he wants and have it on his birthday; however, that cake sounds like a nightmare to me and I would have found a way to gently suggest that we have a second dessert for those who don’t like this first. Sounds like the wife knows lots of people hate his cake, but wasn’t equipped with the skills to discuss it with him. Sounds like they married VERY young - which is fine, but there will be maturity issues.
NTA, but I do agree that there is probably a reason she just now having an issue with a tradition you guys have continued 6years into your marriage. Is it possible that on the years you bake it alone she has some perceived notion that you're unhappy baking it alone? You seem like a nice person so I would imagine you wouldn't pout or act salty for having to bake your cake alone, but maybe she feels obligated to help and is projecting her disdain for baking onto you? Or maybe she feels like her efforts elsewhere aren't being appreciated/you'd rather do things your own way in other areas of your life and marriage, and the cake? Or maybe her love language is giving gifts and she feels like she's being robbed of surprising g you because you always want the same thing (not your fault, you deserve to be loved in your own love language)? If it still hasn't blown over then it may be worth exploring. But you know more about your life than I do, all my insights are based on assumptions anyways.
I made this cake l last weekend. Super easy and absolutely delicious. Will definitely be making it again. It was a hit in our house!
My partner loves a giant blueberry muffin for his birthday cake. Just a really plain muffiin-type butter cake with blueberries in it, with no frosting. I, on the other hand, have been called “the Cake Queen”. Cakes are my thing. Elaborate, multi-layered, rich and fancy. But on his birthday, I bake him his blueberry cake, and I do it with a smile. Hell, it isn’t much to ask for, is it? It’s his birthday, and I love him. The OP’s wife concerns me; either this lady has some problems, or she’s just plain mean. I feel for the poor guy.
Sorry, but wifey-poo sounds like a bit of a controlling toddler b***h having a tantrum. Though that cake sounds terrible to me, he should have what he wants on his birthday for heaven’s sake and not have to be subjected to her unreasonable petty behaviour ruining his party and his day. There’s more issues in this relationship I’m sure that he’s going to have to deal with.
She is hiding something from you and is using the cake as an excuse to be mad. She has either done something or using this cake to not feel guilt for whatever. I think you need to dig deep to find out her problem that has become your problem. She is acting very childish.
To be fair, I would be willing to bet that more people love professionally baked cheesecake than the recipe he provided. :) The wife was totally a jerk, but as someone who likes a lot of weird-a*s desserts I can’t imagine not considering having a second dessert before now for people who might be grossed out by that.
Load More Replies... I get wanting to do something nice as a surprise. I love surprising friends. I also know if a friend is particular about something for say, their birthday, I will ask them before doing something different. If they insist that they're fine doing XYZ, even if I can't contribute and they have no issue with that, then that's that! Otherwise, I try to be a part of the thing and help them! The wife literally could have discussed this. Could have explained, if she didn't like the cake, that she would like to do something different ALONGSIDE his cake - which the guy obviously was fine with. But nope, people need to take control. God forbid they go with the flow. There's plenty of times to be assertive. There's many more times to stfu and chill, and go with the flow.
NTA but I'm seriously interested in doing a little baking now because cherry cake sounds interesting. Might replace or go easy on the rum because I'm not too big a fan of alcoholic cakes. Apologies for any alterations that might occur OP :-)
Nta. He should get the cake he wants on his birthday. I hated carrot cake for a long time because my Mom's boyfriend's brother had a birthday the same month as me, but I got carrot cake on MY birthday at least a few years in a row because that's what HE liked. He was in his lateish 20's, early thirties at the time and I was a child. 😑
I miss when bored panda was more about facts and funny things now it's all about drama and aita
They still have those other posts. Try clicking on separate categories if you don't see it on the front page.
Load More Replies... NTA. Why did she even ask if she wasn't going to give you what she wanted? I would have thrown the cheesecake right in her face. Ok not really but she definitely needs some perspective here. I hope that she'll be able to take a step back and recognize her troubling behavior.
Omg can we just please stop the BS stories from reddit aita. I am believing less and less of these.
YTA, you made her feel shitty for trying to do something nice. Yes, its your birthday can make your cake anytime, you're having a party. Be considerate. She can't un-buy the cakes, so why make a thing of it? Btw, she is right. Most people like cheesecake, yours sounds gross
You sound like a woman that yells all women can do no wrong. He wanted a cake he loves on his birthday. It isn’t about his wife. Not everything is always about women. Let the man eat the cake he loves.
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