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Most parents want to do a good job raising their children, but not all succeed. According to a survey by the UK non-profit family support organization Home-Start, 67% of parents say that being called a “bad parent” is the worst criticism they could receive. 74% said they wanted to be recognized as “good parents,” and 37% claimed they feel the pressure to be the “perfect parent.”
What makes one a bad parent? Is it as simple as a lack of hugs or playtime? Most people have their answers, and in a recent online thread, many adults shared theirs. When user u/malizelen asked, “What screams “I’m a bad parent?” hundreds of people had their answers ready. Whether from personal experience or from observing others’ parents, folks listed the no-nos mothers and fathers should stop doing if they want a good relationship with their children in the future.
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#1
Not vaccinating your kids.
MonsterMum 7 hours ago
I overheard a conversation between to parents, one pro vax, one anti vax. Both said 'I couldn't bare it if something happened' - one referring to side effects and the other preventable illnesses. I think anti vax parents need education, not shame.
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#3
Using your phone non-stop while your kid is trying to talk to you or show you something they made.
#4
Making your child afraid to tell you the truth.
Luke || Kira (he/she) 4 hours ago
And that includes the truth about their seㅤxuality or gender identity.
#5
Toddler glued to iPhone.
Beak Hookage 10 hours ago
My sister has a brain; her kids don't have phones or tablets to avoid this very scenario. Plus lots of outdoor play and learning about gardening and animals and such. They're going to grow up well; I can tell.
#6
Telling your parent that they hurt you and instead of them apologizing they justify it and say they did the best they could.
#7
"So I took their door away".
#8
Constantly humiliating your child instead of correcting their behavior privately.
Beak Hookage 10 hours ago
Being constantly humiliated and made to feel bad and stupid as a child f***s you up for life, trust me. (Not my parents' doing; it was bad teachers and bullying peers the teachers didn't discipline appropriately).
#9
As a teacher: the kids that destroy classrooms, the kids that don’t read, the kids that don’t bathe, the kids that don’t know how to act towards adults and peers. Unanswered emails from teachers about behaviors. We know. We know you’re doing them wrong. It’s glaringly obvious.
#10
Took my daughter to the park today and the lady with her little boy near me constantly spoke to him in such a nasty way, calling him dumb and belittling him. Genuinely was shocked, why have kids if you're going to hate them 😞.
#11
Not disciplining or correcting bad behavior, letting kids walk allover you and giving in to rude demands.
DrBronxx 9 hours ago
This does suck. Striking a good balance is so difficult, though. You don't want to be too strict, but you also don't want to be too soft. Finding the line is the most difficult thing, especially when that line can shift. Dealing with a toddler who is fed and rested is different from dealing with one who is hungry and tired (and is refusing to eat or sleep).
#12
Continuing to reproduce even though you have children that you don’t take care of (one with special needs). Total pos in my opinion!
#15
A toddler in nothing but a dirty diaper walking around with a bottle full of soda.
#16
When they laugh at their kid when they are stressed or have a panic attack. Speaking from experience.
#18
Wondering why your kid had gone NC with you, but you don't know why and that it's definitely their fault though for being ungrateful.
#19
When the kids would rather deal with injuries and accidents on their own instead of asking their parents for help.
#20
Unrestricted technology. I know a lot of people don’t wanna be helicopter parents, but I work in children’s mental healthcare and just the other day I sat in a long presentation about how u should give ur toddler under 3 y/o a cigarette before you give them a tablet because the long-term effect of one cigarette at that age is better than screen time everyday which is why it’s not recommended for any child under 3. Really changes how u think when u see these kids who can’t function without a screen day in and day out.
Paul C 11 hours ago
That was exactly how my mother taught me smoking is bad - gave me one when I was 5 and I thought it cool. I coughed like crazy after one puff and never thought smoking was good again. One of the few genuinely good pieces of parenting she's done. Not sure it would be allowed these days.
#21
Getting angry and trying to force a child who is afraid to do something like to get in a pool or to pet a dog. Makes me want to intervene.
Bur* 6 hours ago
I have a very large dog, he is great with children, but can be intimidating. I have had parents tell their crying children to "just go stand next to him and pet him! He won't hurt you!" Every time I have spoken up and told the child directly that they don't have to come near my dog if they don't want to. Seems more like sociological abùse than any sort of encouragement
#22
Being jealous of your child instead of proud of them.
Beak Hookage 10 hours ago
I pretended to be jealous of a kid once. I was coming home on my bicycle and this neighbour kid's riding around in an awesome mini motorised car that looks like a real car. I loudly exclaimed "What?! You get to have a car while I'm stuck riding a bicycle?!" Kid broke into this huge grin and I heard him saying "Mum did you hear what that lady said?" while laughing.
#23
“I’ll give you something to really cry about”
ETA: and I’m only a little old. It’s more common than you’d think.
#24
Constantly making comments about how you should look. My mom and I went to a restaurant to celebrate the fact i had passed my exams with pretty good grades, but while we were walking she just kept making comments about how i didnt comb the back of my hair, how my hands were in my pockets how I walked like I was "going to work". Honestly made me feel insecure about how i looked.
#26
When you think your kids are your property instead of humans who are in your care temporarily until they are able to care for themselves as adults.
Beak Hookage 10 hours ago
And this is why you don't have kids "to fix the marriage", "to make my life complete" or "to avoid a lonely old age" (the latter of which one creep on this site tried to use to shame me for being childfree by choice). First and foremost it's not about what the child gives you, but what you give your child.
#28
Seeing a 10 year old on an electric bike in the city.
J-Stryker666 5 hours ago
Yep!!! Seen em riding around downtown Toronto WITHOUT Helmets.............
#29
The kid(s) have no manners, no boundaries, and/or any idea that screaming all the time is unacceptable.
Luke || Kira (he/she) 4 hours ago
On the other hand, screaming is the primary outlet for someone who experiences the full range of emotions but has no experience to know how to handle them, so maybe we should also give the kids some grace.
#30
Coming to the rated R hardcore horror film with your 7 year old.
Beak Hookage 10 hours ago
I went to see The Lovely Bones (in which, spoilers, a young girl is violently slain after an implied SA) and some idiot brought a CHILD with them! They kept checking in to ask the kid was she upset and they ultimately left partway through but come on! (Frankly the latter half of the movie was so pointless and dull I kind of wished I'd left too).
#32
Dumping them unnecessarily on others
Using them for ‘woe is me’ or click bait online.
Not parenting. Og Archie’s just a free spirit that’s why he’s attacking your son with the toy cricket bat. He’s just expressing himself.
#33
Using your kids social & driving their credit into the ground.
#34
Never saying no to your kids.
Luke || Kira (he/she) 4 hours ago
But always saying "no" is equally bad, especially when it's for no good reason
#35
Coaching your child to be judgemental of others.
Luke || Kira (he/she) 4 hours ago
Racism and queerphobia are both taught. Children are very much willing to understand that some boys like boys or some boys want to be girls, don't use them to peddle your vitriolic intolerance.
#36
Making your child feel responsible for managing your emotions. If your child is sad/upset/anxious and you can’t regulate your emotions to help support them.
#37
When ALL of your kids have been to prison or jail.
#38
Belt welts on your child. I grew up with a father who hated his children. Once my mom divorced him we never spoke again.
#39
Not following car seat guidelines/car safety basics. Kids out of car seats way too early…kids not in booster seats…kids in the front seat. Just buckle your kids properly.
#40
"I dont understand why NONE of my kids talk to me"....
#41
Never admitting you were wrong and apologizing for said transgressions. That will lose respect really quickly.
#42
Being 3 feet from your drowning child in the ocean being rescued by a lifeguard… viral video today.
#43
The one driving down the street with a cigarette hanging out of their mouth and a kid in a booster seat in the back.
#45
Not talking to your child to build their vocabulary.
BarkingSquirell 4 hours ago
Best thing my Mom ever did was hand me an Oxford Concise Dictionary and teach me to use it properly. As an avid reader, it kept me from constantly asking what words mean and gave me the independence to explore words for myself.
#47
Letting your little darlings stand at the baggage carousel preventing those of us who (can) actually LIFT LUGGAGE to get to ours.🤬.
Ali 9 hours ago
This always makes my husband mad too. I remind him that after being stuck in one place on the plane for so long and behaving has probably exhausted the family and his nerves are also strained so he is being intolerant. It's not, in my opinion, a sign of bad parenting - just something that annoys others while not actually putting them out more than half a minute.
#48
Continuing to poke the bear during an argument when it's clear your kid has had enough. My friend's dad does this, bro why do you *need* to win an argument with a 14 yo?
#49
Not knowing basic info. Allergies, doctor, basic medical history, shoe and clothing size, teacher’s name, etc.
Fellfromthemoon 8 hours ago
TBH, I don't know my own size. I usually start with a size that often fits, then I go up or down, according to te result. Like I have T-shirt in size 2XL to 5XL, and they are roughly the same size.
#51
Children who act like “little adults.” If a kid acts like an adult then they may be having to manage their parents.
Magnell 5 hours ago
or they were just treated as humans by their parents instead of curled objects.... With actual dialogue.. space to disagree and reason.. listened to AND heard AND seen... well adjusted kids can do surprisingly well in an adult setting without having lost their childhood or play... jumping to having to manage their parents is judging by a fairly narrow lens
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What do you think ?
Miss Tinker 8 hours ago
Really? So an a*****e parent is a good parent as long as their child is alive?
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Miss Tinker 8 hours ago
Really? So an a*****e parent is a good parent as long as their child is alive?
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