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Teen Refuses To Learn How To Care For Autistic Stepbrother, Drama Ensues As Family Won’t Back Down
Recently, I have been reading so many stories about how people expect enforced babysitting favors from family members, and it just blows my mind. The most shocking part, however, is how insensitive they act when the person flat out refuses to do it.
Just look at the reactions of the original poster’s (OP) mom and stepdad as he refuses to join a class to help take care of his autistic stepbrother. Folks online said they sensed red flags in his parents, as all they care about is a free babysitter. Here’s what actually happened!
More info: Reddit
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People demanding unrealistic babysitting favors from family members is honestly a toxic trend these days
Image credits: prostock-studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
For the poster’s autistic stepbrother, his mom, stepdad, and stepsister attended a class that helps them care for people on the spectrum
Image credits: WhimblySmith
Image credits: volodymyr-t / Freepik (not the actual photo)
They also forcefully dragged him along, so he didn’t really “pass” the class, but now they really want him to go again, as they lost their babysitter
Image credits: WhimblySmith
Image credits: rantaimages / Freepik (not the actual photo)
He resents the changes he had to go through to adjust to his stepbrother and now doesn’t want to be a free babysitter for him, so he’s refusing to go
Image credits: WhimblySmith
However, his stepdad and mom refuse to back down, so he threatened to go live with another family member rather than join the class
Today, we dive into the life of Reddit user WhimblySmith, who is currently knee-deep in a conundrum all because of his family (or stepfamily). His mom married a man who has two kids, Ella and Jake. When they moved in together, OP had to make a lot of changes since Jake is autistic, and he just resents that he had to adjust so much.
Three years back, his mom, along with his stepdad and stepsister, joined a class that teaches you how to care for someone on the spectrum. They forced the poster to join as well, but since he had zero interest in it, he barely even “passed” the class. The poor fellow didn’t even want to go in the first place, and things got so bad, his stepdad even threatened not to move in if he didn’t.
Well, it didn’t work then, but folks, now the issue is back at hand. Apparently, the couple lost their babysitter, so they are forcing OP to go and pass the class this time. They are barely even considering the fact that he doesn’t want to be a free babysitter for them. Of course, he said no, and even threatened that he would go live with some other family member.
But this only resulted in his stepdad calling him a jerk and saying he does not care about Jake. His mom is also saying that he should do it, just to show that he does care about Jake. Nobody wants to even know what the 17-year-old poster wants. Probably confused by all this, he vented online and asked whether he is right to refuse – after all, it’s his choice in the end.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Folks instantly sided with the poster, saying that they are not his kids, so not his problem, and I agree. Even though 15% of children live in blended families, it has been observed that such families often face certain unique problems. Of course, adjusting to a completely new person is challenging, but imagine if that person threatens you.
It’s no wonder that OP has so much resentment, considering how his stepdad threatened that they wouldn’t move in if he didn’t join the classes. Many netizens had a problem with this man for just barging into the poster’s life and making such absurd demands. Also, doesn’t it look like he’s trying to force a relationship between OP and Jake when he accused him of “not caring”?
Psychologists recognize that stepsibling relationships can be complicated and multifaceted. On top of that, he’s forcing something when OP doesn’t even want it. I am pretty sure that forced relationships never really work. Now, forget bonding, the poster also fears they will turn him into a free babysitter, and frankly, that’s just awful.
Research suggests that parents of autistic children, more so than parents of children with typical development, are at risk of experiencing higher levels of stress. I understand that it must be challenging for the couple as well, but that doesn’t mean they should thrust responsibility for Jake on OP and expect him to do it happily. In the end, he’s just a teen and deserves to do only what he wants.
Many folks advised that he is right to ditch them and live with a family member, and he agreed. If you were in his shoes, what would you do? Let us know in the comments!
Folks called out his toxic parents and warned him not to take the course, as they would definitely make him babysit his stepbrother
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What do you think ?
greenideas 5 months ago
According to OP: "I had to get rid of a bunch of video games, stop playing my console in the morning or at night, even on weekends. Couldn't even keep them in my room and wear headphones to stop the noise. It just wasn't allowed. I can't leave my room before 8am or leave my room after 10pm because Jake's so noise sensitive but with nothing to do it's frustrating and so boring. I have to keep my phone on a really dark setting all the time or I get into trouble and it has to be on vibrate or silent so it doesn't upset Jake. Can't turn lights on either because he's sensitive to it. Can't have friends over. Can't listen to music with headphones either. There's also foods and snacks we can't have in the house because he's sensitive to the smell of them. Some are my faves and even if I can't even keep them in my room." I don't think it's fair for the mom to willingly put OP in this situation - yeah, I said it.
Vinnie 5 months ago (edited)
Wow. That's a lot for anyone, let alone a 17-year-old.
Load More Replies...
Paul C 5 months ago
I'm with the sceptics on this - if he takes / passes the course, he will be dumped on to babysit. No matter what his mother says now, there will always be an emergency or a really needed date night, now he is trained to deal with the autistic son of his stepfather. Who he has absolutely no responsibility for, no choice in living in the same house and it not related to at all. It's the stepfather's job to look after his son or to ensure someone appropriate looks after him. Not to guilt trip an unrelated teenager into it. Somehow I suspect it was always in the stepfather's plan to get the OP to look after his son.
A S Mora 5 months ago (edited)
As someone with an ESN sibling, I would tell this young man that he needs to run far away. Granted my folks are adamant that my care and support is to be limited to an absolute as-need basis, it was a difficult growing up not being able to leave a meal, a drink or anything of value out with him eating it ,drinking it, or tossing it somewhere out of sight. And who got scolded for it and told "serves you right for forgetting"? I really wish people would stop trying to build a "village" to care for younger children with their older, but still dependent children. It's not our job to parent and the things we give up experiencing in childhood because the needs of one sibling outweigh our wants and often our own needs takes a toll.
greenideas 5 months ago
According to OP: "I had to get rid of a bunch of video games, stop playing my console in the morning or at night, even on weekends. Couldn't even keep them in my room and wear headphones to stop the noise. It just wasn't allowed. I can't leave my room before 8am or leave my room after 10pm because Jake's so noise sensitive but with nothing to do it's frustrating and so boring. I have to keep my phone on a really dark setting all the time or I get into trouble and it has to be on vibrate or silent so it doesn't upset Jake. Can't turn lights on either because he's sensitive to it. Can't have friends over. Can't listen to music with headphones either. There's also foods and snacks we can't have in the house because he's sensitive to the smell of them. Some are my faves and even if I can't even keep them in my room." I don't think it's fair for the mom to willingly put OP in this situation - yeah, I said it.
Vinnie 5 months ago (edited)
Wow. That's a lot for anyone, let alone a 17-year-old.
Load More Replies... Paul C 5 months ago
I'm with the sceptics on this - if he takes / passes the course, he will be dumped on to babysit. No matter what his mother says now, there will always be an emergency or a really needed date night, now he is trained to deal with the autistic son of his stepfather. Who he has absolutely no responsibility for, no choice in living in the same house and it not related to at all. It's the stepfather's job to look after his son or to ensure someone appropriate looks after him. Not to guilt trip an unrelated teenager into it. Somehow I suspect it was always in the stepfather's plan to get the OP to look after his son.
A S Mora 5 months ago (edited)
As someone with an ESN sibling, I would tell this young man that he needs to run far away. Granted my folks are adamant that my care and support is to be limited to an absolute as-need basis, it was a difficult growing up not being able to leave a meal, a drink or anything of value out with him eating it ,drinking it, or tossing it somewhere out of sight. And who got scolded for it and told "serves you right for forgetting"? I really wish people would stop trying to build a "village" to care for younger children with their older, but still dependent children. It's not our job to parent and the things we give up experiencing in childhood because the needs of one sibling outweigh our wants and often our own needs takes a toll.
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