As, Can You Help Me?

I know she said she was going off line for a bit and not to email her but I emailed her anyway but she hasn't replied.

Uh oh :( I'm so worried. What if she did something? If she did it's probably my fault because I was too busy complaining to help her even though I knew she was struggling God why am I so pathetic I should probably jump off a building but whatever I hope she's okay idk what to do if not

Your not pathetic everyone has their own problems we have to deal with and it's hard to deal with our problems and help other People. It can be overwhelming.

Still I'm a terrible friend and yay look I'm making it about me again I'm so so worried about her I hope she's okay

I might try emailing her again.

May, you are not a terrible friend, I have gone through similar thoughts in the past and they are not true, those thoughts lie, we are horrible at seeing the good in ourselves but we are great at seeing it in others.

And your not a terrible friend

Yes I am. Also, if you don't mind me asking what's your middle name? (If you have one)

Ann it's my mum's name

That's a nice middle name :)

Thanks

So how's your day been so far?

It's been ok haven't done much. What about you what do you do when you're not on BP

I play videogames :) I also like cooking and I want to start sewing but according to my mom "sewing isn't for boys" (also f**k you mom I'm not a boy) other than that I don't really do much. I mostly just sleep or I'm busy being hit and insulted and told to kill myself by my brother so yayy (I'm being so positive aren't I?)

I'm sorry to hear that May but brothers are d***s I know I have one. But he has never told me to kill myself though. There's nothing wrong with sewing it's a good skill to have.

I think shes probably okay, maybe just taking a break from BP

Hahahaha no I'm not

Yes you are lots of people here love you and care what happens to you.

How do I appeal? This is the first time I had to do this.

click more and contact and make a general inquiry, and ask them to unban me. and link my account or something (not the one im currently on)

I sent it.

thanks

Hey! Hru?

I'm okay, how are you??

actually really good for once. i love high school so much. probably the fact that everyone from my old district isn't there. and theatre is so awesome. AND I'M GOING BY BEE IN THIS DISTRICT TOO

THAT'S AWESOME YAYYY

the only person who doesnt call me that yet is the theatre teacher (cause she knows my mom) but it's alright i'll tell her soon if i can be brave enough

Not to bring your mood down or anything bee but I'm not sure that's the best idea

i mentioned to my parents that i would be using this name at school this year, not sure if they remember or not and they weren't excited but didn't stop me. plus it's similar enough to my deadname for them to not be suspicious.

Yeah, it is kinda similar your probably right. Also I hate the fact that I know it and I want to punch that b***h goldyy or whatever their name was in the face

yeah i hate goldyy so freaking much.

Yeah I'm really sorry that happened, it's terrible :( if people on here knew my deadname I'd probably freak out and leave

well for a very short time i went by my deadname on here so i expected at least a few people to know it already

Gotta go for now, bye!

Wait I just realized if I end up going to the same school as crow he would probably figure out my deadname and now I'm freaking out over a scenario that will never happen lol

The school system here is good abt preferred names and also yes I am definitely the type of person who would let figuring out a friend's deadname affect me at all, especially since I have no trans friends and am not trans and have no idea what it's like to have a deadname

Sorry haha. I'm being stupid, idk. Sorry. I didn't mean to insult you or anything, I just am constantly worried about the most irrational things. Sorry haha

Nooo stop apologizing I also have anxiety and I've had this exact fear, you didn't insult me I just want u to know I really wouldn't care if I knew ur deadname, I get why you'd be scared of that but i wouldn't and it wouldn't affect anything. Please don't be sorry I'm not mad at all, I totally understand irrational anxiety

Can we talk in a bit? 8:00 your time? I can't talk right now but I feel like we haven't talked much recently

Yeah totally! I agree (:

Crow?

Hi!

Hi! How's your day been?

Tiring, Taylor swift is great tho

If I were to listen to Taylor swift, what songs or album should I start with?

U would go to my account and play the playlist 'spotify called me a swiftie', either in order (just the order I saw/added them in) then listen to the rest of her stuff based on which album u like the most. They all have very different sounds. Even if u start it on shuffle please start with blank space it's such a good choir song and it means a lot to me, all of the songs I have on there are great and I could make a separate smaller playlist of my absolutely favorites in the order u should listen to them in if u want to, I love making playlists and listening to Taylor swift

You should totally do that if you want :) also I don't know your Spotify. Sorry if you told me I forgotttt

Please be nicer to urself u don't have to be sorry for existing

Well I feel like I do

L take, ur wrong, u deserve love and are a great person and ur existence makes the world better, suck it

No, my existence simply causes problems and I don't deserve love and I have no clue why you want to be my friend haha

Your existence probably stopped me from committing suicide a couple of times and definitely has stopped Amy from killing herself, I don't see how those are problems. You make people's lives better. You deserve love and you are loved, I want to be ur friend because ur great, I get along with u really well, and u make me feel comfortable and able to talk about my problems

:) about the only situation I'm useful in lol

Ur useful in lots of situations, ur a great person and I enjoy talking to you

Well that's simply because I'm the most awesome person alive

Yes! Correct! Good job, ur right

Do I get a reward? I want some ice cream

I'm gonna take u 2 the best ice cream place in Seattle once ur here as a reward for positive self talk

Yay!!! I can't wait to be in Seattle. Just maybe a few more months or less :)

Yeah im really excited (:

We'll have so much fun!!

Definitely (: I'm gonna make u meet my friend and force u to be friends

Only if they're cool

He's very cool I swear I'm only friends with cool people

Okay, if he's cool than sure thing

This comment has been deleted.

I'm just going to assume you thought I meant 8 tomorrow. I'll be on then! But I'll stay on a few more minutes to make sure

Noooo sorry I'm just listening to Taylor swift

Haha it's fine

I'm back! How has your day been?

Tiring wbu

I'm kinda sick so I mainly just slept all day. Other than that I've been talking to you and dealing with the trolls.

I'm sorry ur feeling sick ):

It's okay

Please don't feel responsible for them, it's really bad for you and I'm still dealing with mental effects from spending all of my time fighting them a while ago. Just let them burn themselves out

Sorry.

Please give urself a chance here, it isn't your fault and it's really sweet of u to fight them, but u just need to prioritize urself. U apologize so much please be nice to urself

I feel the urge to reply with sorry to this haha. Also I'm doing pretty okay right now besides the whole wanting to die and being abused thing

I wish u loved urself the way literally everyone who's sane (not ur family) does. I'm really sorry abt ur situation I wish I could just go and steal u

Kidnapping is illegal sadly, and that would technically be kidnapping

Nooooo I hate laws

I hate laws, laws are what keep me from having a good life and literally encourage discrimination against me. F**k you, laws

Laws suck

Not literally everybody, like 4 people only one of which I'm close friends with

The number is higher than that, and it'll be even higher once u get out of ur home and can make friends with Seattle people

Hard to believe anyone will want to be my friend

I will and I do. I'm not a particularly strange person, you'll definitely find ur people

If you were strange I would be like some otherworldly creature haha

I mean I'm not the least strange person to exist but I am at or near the top of the bell curve. Also if u r strange it's not I'm a bad way, if u had bad vibes I'd f**k right off, I have zero tolerance for anything but perfect vibes

Oh I'm most definitely strange, but normal is overrated as hell. Also what vibes do I give off, oh wise one, crow the wiseman?

We disagree on that haha I think normal is the human ideal (: I'm bad at describing vibes but I really like talking to u, especially when ur not hating urself cause u don't deserve that

Sorry, I'm incapable of positivity a lot of the time. And you'll agree normal is overrated when you see how awesome and not normal I am irl

Don't be sorry, I also have depression haha. I will never agree, normal is a synonym of perfect and the ideal is to be as normal as possible because the only way to make everyone like you or at least respect you is to be completely normal

Well then I am simply at the lowest depths of humanity. And so what if not everyone likes you? Not everyone will like me, ever. In fact, about a third of America probably wouldn't even give either of us a chance, because y'know the whole transphobia thing. I mean I still care what people think and stuff, but most people aren't "normal" enough to care anyway. There is no single normal

I'll reply to this for real tnrw, goodnight ttyl

Gn!

I love being a weirdo!