Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
User submission
177
Hey Pandas, AITA For Being Irritated When My Brother Asks Me To Get Rid Of My Cat?
Moderator’s note:
If you find yourself disagreeing with this person’s actions, we encourage you not to downvote the post. Instead, kindly express your opinions in the comments. We recommend maintaining politeness and articulating your thoughts with well-constructed arguments.
A few weeks ago, I got my first cat. He is a sweet gray tabby, and very loving, although he plays a bit rough sometimes. My brother, let’s just call him Kevin, has ailurophobia (fear of cats) and says that I gave him no warning, despite talking about it for a year and writing a whole contract about the terms of getting him.
RELATED:
Kevin wants to get rid of Uraza, and I don’t
Image credits: Afif Ramdhasuma (not the actual photo)
He is saying that I am making his life a living hell, and chasing him with the cat, despite Uraza staying in my room the entire time he’s here.
I love Uraza and have been trying to accommodate for him
Image credits: Matheus Queiroz (not the actual photo)
However, my dad is starting to see Kevin’s point of view, and I’m worried that in a little while, I’ll have to get rid of him, but I can’t bear to part with Uraza. So, AITA for getting a cat and not wanting to get rid of it when my brother protests?
Moderator’s note:
Please note that the images included in this article are for illustrative purposes only and do not represent the actual individuals or items discussed in the story.
If you have a comparable experience or story you’d like to tell, we welcome your submissions. Click here to share your story with Bored Panda.
Poll Question
Total votes ·
Thanks! Check out the results:
Total votes ·
Newsletter
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
20Kviews
Share on FacebookExplore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Ace 1 year ago
Three simple steps required here. 1. Get your own place, 2. Get your first cat, 3. Get as many other cats as you want.
PFD 1 year ago
River Wolf, I've been reading your comments and replies. It sounds like you and your brother are both struggling and neither of you are or were in a good emotional state to make mature decisions. I'm sure you've both been feeling battered with pressure from outside, it doesn't sound like you are particularly kind to each other either, and to be talking of running away, you must feel unsupported by your parents too (a real feeling, whether justified or not). You need support from somewhere. But RW, a bunch of judgemental adults on Bored Panda is not really the place to turn, especially with an AITA (which is a format strictly useful for adults who should know better). I can see how the comments are hurting you and the judgmentalism is only worsening the feelings you have already and encouraging you to consider more and more drastic action. Please, please step away and find a better source of advice from someone who knows you or can spend the time getting to know you.
lenka 1 year ago
Your post shows a lack of understanding and empathy for your brother's phobia. He doesn't just 'not like cats'.... he is terrified of them. Phobia's are horrible to live with and can result in anxiety, panic attacks and inability to function. Imagine your brother suddenly decides to keep a hundred venomous spiders and a pair of rattlesnakes and you have to walk through them to get to the bathroom in dark in the middle of night? That's the kind of fear he faces every single day. One day you will move out of home and you can have as many cats as you like. In the meantime, your brothers emotional and mental safety is more important than your desire to have a pet.
FluffyDreg 1 year ago
It wasn't sudden. He had a year to say "no i change my mind dont get a cat" This wasnt overnight. The whole house spent HOURS talking about it, if it would be okay, and what those terms if they get one is. He had so long to speak up and say something. He didnt. Its a s****y situation sure, but ignoring the fact ge agreed to this is just st***d
Load More Replies...
arthbach 1 year ago
Assuming all of these people live in the same house, then it is not acceptable for one person to get a pet that another is allergic to, or has a fear of. If the brother doesn't live in the same house, then it's not his call as to whether his sister can get a cat. It would be very reasonable reasonable accommodation for the cat to be kept in a separate room whilst the brother is visiting.
FluffyDreg 1 year ago
He had a year to make that call. He had a year to say something. Instead he agreed to it.
Load More Replies...
Little Miss Lady 1 year ago
You are behaving selfishly without consideration of how your actions are affecting your brother as well as your cat. Your choice to get a cat when your brother has a phobia of cats and you share a living space is both irresponsible and apathetic towards your brother's anxiety disorder. You may not realize it, but your solution to deal with your brother's anxiety by keeping your cat cooped up in your room is considered animal abuse. Cats are curious, adventurous animals. Locking them in a confined space is like torture for them. Not to mention that your brother has to live in fear everyday in his home, which should be a safe space for everyone living there. If you truly love your brother and your cat, please consider finding your cat a loving home where it doesn't have to be confined and your brother can feel like his home is a safe environment. You can get a cat when you have your own place.
Manda Hart 1 year ago
It wasn't just RW's decision because everyone signed a contract giving consent. I agree that it's stressful, especially for the cat. But the source of the stress is RW's brother whom after signing the contract, is now raising a lot of contention whenever he is there and not at his mother's house. Kindly in response: I do agree that the brother's view is an issue, but that seems to be the result of agreeing to something he wished he hadn't.
Load More Replies...
Giraffy Window 1 year ago (edited)
Contract or no, this arrangement is unfair to both your brother AND your cat. Animals pick up on stress very easily, and if they are forced to live in a constantly stressful environment it can begin to lead to health issues. On top of THAT stress, it sounds like you're expected to keep your cat closed away? Cats need more space than that to roam and play. Being shut in one place all the time is yet another stress factor. It will never matter how much you love Uraza if you aren't able to provide a safe and secure environment for him. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++ It might be in everyone's best interest if you seek a foster situation for Uraza for the two years until you can find your own place. Find someone you trust who will let you visit often; provide the food and supplies required through that time period to keep the connection and make ownership clear.
River wolf (she/her) (Post author) 1 year ago (edited)
Uraza gets plenty of time with free range of the house, whenever Kevin is at moms or at school, I will never trust a person I barely know to take care of my best friend.
Load More Replies...
PixieVonBehr 1 year ago
I heckin love cats. I have two of my own and I foster so my house is constantly overrun with cats in the loveliest way, but I'm sorry to say YTA. There's not really any excuse for getting a cat whilst knowing your brother has a phobia. It's not fair on him or the cat. Respectfully, you sound immature and have acted selfishly. I hope the comments here help you understand that and you can avoid this type of situation in future by considering the repercussions of your actions.
Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 1 year ago
River Wolf, not sure if you're still checking this, but I'm on your side. It sounds like there is a lot more to this story, and based on what I can infer, I'm thinking you're trying not to put your brother on blast. I think you tried your best to make sure this went smoothly and he moved the goalposts once the cat was in the house. There is no way you just grabbed a cat off the street and started a s**t storm. NTA.
River wolf (she/her) (Post author) 1 year ago
Thanks. Most people seem to have other ideas though.
Load More Replies... Lily Anne 1 year ago
Therapy. That’s what you both needed first, and shame on your parents for not taking you to therapy. Fear is not an allergy, it is treatable with proper therapy, and you obviously have deeper problems, if the kitty is the only good thing in your life. See a therapist and get help, both of you.
River wolf (she/her) (Post author) 1 year ago
Hey, it’s Kevin’s fault that Uraza is the only good thing.
Load More Replies...
River wolf (she/her) (Post author) 1 year ago
I make sure the cat stays away from him and doesn’t mess with him or his stuff, I help him get an Axolotl, help with care and paying for the Axolotl, he allows me to have a cat.
Load More Replies... Ace 1 year ago
Three simple steps required here. 1. Get your own place, 2. Get your first cat, 3. Get as many other cats as you want.
PFD 1 year ago
River Wolf, I've been reading your comments and replies. It sounds like you and your brother are both struggling and neither of you are or were in a good emotional state to make mature decisions. I'm sure you've both been feeling battered with pressure from outside, it doesn't sound like you are particularly kind to each other either, and to be talking of running away, you must feel unsupported by your parents too (a real feeling, whether justified or not). You need support from somewhere. But RW, a bunch of judgemental adults on Bored Panda is not really the place to turn, especially with an AITA (which is a format strictly useful for adults who should know better). I can see how the comments are hurting you and the judgmentalism is only worsening the feelings you have already and encouraging you to consider more and more drastic action. Please, please step away and find a better source of advice from someone who knows you or can spend the time getting to know you.
lenka 1 year ago
Your post shows a lack of understanding and empathy for your brother's phobia. He doesn't just 'not like cats'.... he is terrified of them. Phobia's are horrible to live with and can result in anxiety, panic attacks and inability to function. Imagine your brother suddenly decides to keep a hundred venomous spiders and a pair of rattlesnakes and you have to walk through them to get to the bathroom in dark in the middle of night? That's the kind of fear he faces every single day. One day you will move out of home and you can have as many cats as you like. In the meantime, your brothers emotional and mental safety is more important than your desire to have a pet.
FluffyDreg 1 year ago
It wasn't sudden. He had a year to say "no i change my mind dont get a cat" This wasnt overnight. The whole house spent HOURS talking about it, if it would be okay, and what those terms if they get one is. He had so long to speak up and say something. He didnt. Its a s****y situation sure, but ignoring the fact ge agreed to this is just st***d
Load More Replies... arthbach 1 year ago
Assuming all of these people live in the same house, then it is not acceptable for one person to get a pet that another is allergic to, or has a fear of. If the brother doesn't live in the same house, then it's not his call as to whether his sister can get a cat. It would be very reasonable reasonable accommodation for the cat to be kept in a separate room whilst the brother is visiting.
FluffyDreg 1 year ago
He had a year to make that call. He had a year to say something. Instead he agreed to it.
Load More Replies... Little Miss Lady 1 year ago
You are behaving selfishly without consideration of how your actions are affecting your brother as well as your cat. Your choice to get a cat when your brother has a phobia of cats and you share a living space is both irresponsible and apathetic towards your brother's anxiety disorder. You may not realize it, but your solution to deal with your brother's anxiety by keeping your cat cooped up in your room is considered animal abuse. Cats are curious, adventurous animals. Locking them in a confined space is like torture for them. Not to mention that your brother has to live in fear everyday in his home, which should be a safe space for everyone living there. If you truly love your brother and your cat, please consider finding your cat a loving home where it doesn't have to be confined and your brother can feel like his home is a safe environment. You can get a cat when you have your own place.
Manda Hart 1 year ago
It wasn't just RW's decision because everyone signed a contract giving consent. I agree that it's stressful, especially for the cat. But the source of the stress is RW's brother whom after signing the contract, is now raising a lot of contention whenever he is there and not at his mother's house. Kindly in response: I do agree that the brother's view is an issue, but that seems to be the result of agreeing to something he wished he hadn't.
Load More Replies... Giraffy Window 1 year ago (edited)
Contract or no, this arrangement is unfair to both your brother AND your cat. Animals pick up on stress very easily, and if they are forced to live in a constantly stressful environment it can begin to lead to health issues. On top of THAT stress, it sounds like you're expected to keep your cat closed away? Cats need more space than that to roam and play. Being shut in one place all the time is yet another stress factor. It will never matter how much you love Uraza if you aren't able to provide a safe and secure environment for him. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++ It might be in everyone's best interest if you seek a foster situation for Uraza for the two years until you can find your own place. Find someone you trust who will let you visit often; provide the food and supplies required through that time period to keep the connection and make ownership clear.
River wolf (she/her) (Post author) 1 year ago (edited)
Uraza gets plenty of time with free range of the house, whenever Kevin is at moms or at school, I will never trust a person I barely know to take care of my best friend.
Load More Replies... PixieVonBehr 1 year ago
I heckin love cats. I have two of my own and I foster so my house is constantly overrun with cats in the loveliest way, but I'm sorry to say YTA. There's not really any excuse for getting a cat whilst knowing your brother has a phobia. It's not fair on him or the cat. Respectfully, you sound immature and have acted selfishly. I hope the comments here help you understand that and you can avoid this type of situation in future by considering the repercussions of your actions.
Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 1 year ago
River Wolf, not sure if you're still checking this, but I'm on your side. It sounds like there is a lot more to this story, and based on what I can infer, I'm thinking you're trying not to put your brother on blast. I think you tried your best to make sure this went smoothly and he moved the goalposts once the cat was in the house. There is no way you just grabbed a cat off the street and started a s**t storm. NTA.
River wolf (she/her) (Post author) 1 year ago
Thanks. Most people seem to have other ideas though.
Load More Replies... Lily Anne 1 year ago
Therapy. That’s what you both needed first, and shame on your parents for not taking you to therapy. Fear is not an allergy, it is treatable with proper therapy, and you obviously have deeper problems, if the kitty is the only good thing in your life. See a therapist and get help, both of you.
River wolf (she/her) (Post author) 1 year ago
Hey, it’s Kevin’s fault that Uraza is the only good thing.
Load More Replies... River wolf (she/her) (Post author) 1 year ago
I make sure the cat stays away from him and doesn’t mess with him or his stuff, I help him get an Axolotl, help with care and paying for the Axolotl, he allows me to have a cat.
Load More Replies... You May Like Family Learns The Power Of “No” The Hard Way After Showing Up Uninvited For Christmas Eve Mom Lets Aunt Raise Her Son Because He "Ruins Their Picture Perfect Family," Shocked He Starts Calling Her Mom "I Was Completely Disowned": Man Confronts Parents Who Hired A PI To Track Him Down After 15 Years
Indrė Lukošiūtė
Gabija Palšytė
Indrė Lukošiūtė
Related on Bored Panda
3
177