So I have this friend, we'll call her Emma. It all began when she asked me to roast her. She said "anything goes" and "I won't be offended". So, I said something like "you look like you use a cucumber as a d***o at midnight". She says "Ok and," I reply: "cuz you're a w***e," She proceeded to kick me and said I was a d**k. I know I shouldn't have said that and apologized the next day. She says that she forgives me. A couple days later, the people at my lunch table start acting weird toward me (Emma sits there too). I feel uncomfortable and decide to begin eating in a classroom instead. After a while, I catch wind that Emma was insulting me and spilling my secrets behind my back. She managed to turn all of my friends against me. I lost every friend. I was upset and hurt. I decided to confront her. I asked her why she was calling me a racist, homophobe, trasphone, etc. She told me that I was those things (background: I'm Asian, non-binary, and asexual-it doesn't really make sense how I would be those things that she called me). In the end, she continues to spread rumors about me and all of my friends refuse to talk to me. *BACKGROUND*: I have horrible parents and didn't know that it isn't okay to call women a w***e. Emma also only used me for my food-she would steal my lunch and eat it. Most days, I ended the school day on an empty stomach. TL;DR-I insulted my friend, apologized, she pretends to forgive me, and then proceeds to spread rumors about me and convince all of my friends to ghost me.
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I don't think friendship is something that should be thrown away easily. I met my best friend when we were 12, and 25 years later we're still besties. We've had our fights, have said hurtful things to one another, moved around, but she's my favorite person. I'm glad that we have decided not to throw our friendship away. That being said, I don't think you're wrong. What they did was cruel and hurtful. I'm wondering why they started saying all these things. Were they hurt by the words you said in your roast? Feeling insecure? If there is a way for you two to move forward, and salvage the relationship, that would be great. But they need to apologize to you, and show that they care about you and your friendship. That means no ghosting, no talking s**t and spreading rumors. I've also had a toxic friendship, and while I'm loyal and forgiving, they proved to me that they didn't deserve my friendship. If they are continuing to treat you this way, you are absolutely right to end it. I'm sorry this happened to you, it's not fair. And you don't deserve it. We can't control who's our family, but we can't control who's our friend. I hope it works out for you whatever happens.
