Hey Pandas, AITA For Getting Upset At My Friend Who Didn’t Bring A Birthday Present?

Sorry Ryna but yeah. It's one thing to feel a bit disappointed/puzzled that your friend didn't think to bring a gift, but friends don't owe tribute - and the passive-aggressive fake question after is definitely what BP likes to call a [jerk] move. A transactional attitude to friendship ain't great and now you've communicated to your friend that she owed you payment for being included. I'd say you have a bit of thinking to do about that.

You are clearly just a kid, but yes, You were absolutely the AH. What you did to Sand was mean and unnecessary and there was nothing about the way you treated her that suggests your last sentence resembles the truth.

Yeah, you are, actually, and I hope the negativity and down votes speak to that for you. It's sad the first thing you noticed was your friend was empty handed, not being excited that she came and accepted your invite. Inviting someone to a birthday party does not obligate them to give you a damn thing. You don't invite friends for their gifts, you invite them for their company and to spend a special day with you. Then you had the nerve to pull that little backhanded passive aggressive BS talking to another friend about their gift, not even realizing you're insulting THAT friend by have to ask what they gave you, as if it wasn't good or memorable enough to remember. "Sand's" finances are also none of your damn business. I don't care if she's a millionaire, she didn't owe you anything. "The next day at school" makes me think this is teenage drama so hopefully some of the things you'll read in the comments help you understand that no, how you're acting and feel aren't cool.

“I don’t wanna act like a spoiled brat”. Too late Ryna.

You aren't entitled to gifts. I have only rarely given birthday presents to adult friends. Usually you go out to eat or for pints, if it's a milestone birthday maybe do something bigger, but apart from food and drink, no one in my friends groups in N America and the UK does gifts for friends regularly.

My god are you a toddler??? Why would this girl or anyone want to be friends with you. Your parents should be ashamed of the way they have raised you. Do better!!! You are definitely TA!

"I just say “wowww” in a joking tone because I’m a nice person and I don’t wanna act like a spoiled brat" this is not "nice" behavior. This is rude, spoiled brat behavior. Giving gifts isn't something that should ever be viewed as necessary. You may think she "can afford a token of appreciation" (seriously that's not what a birthday gift is) but you have no idea whether that's just your impression of her life (happens a lot). If someone who comes to your birthday party gives you 2 gifts one year and 1 the next are you going to go Dudley Dursley on them? Birthday parties are expensive. They're so the birthday person can spend time with people they care about. Not so that person can get as many gifts as possible. If I could talk to your friends I'd tell them to go to the dollar store next time and find something there, make it a group activity.

"At this point, I just say “wowww” in a joking tone because I’m a nice person and I don’t wanna act like a spoiled brat" Too late, you entirely look like a spoiled brat. You, being the host, should be gracious to your guests giving them the benefit of doubt and ensuring they don't feel put down or embarrassed. You thank them for coming to honor your birthday with you. You made yourself look like a selfish petty person seeking gifts under the guise of a party and perhaps made your friend feel awful about something she may not have had control over. Always be gracious and do not punish and humiliate others due to your greed.

Honestly, be happy that anyone even showed up. Its not always a given. There is a reason I stopped celebrating my birthday (or trying to host any kind of event). Too many times I would send out invites, people would tell me they were coming, I'd pour my heart and soul (not to mention money for food, etc) into setting things up. Then would come the inevitable "oh, I got invited to something else, I'm going to that instead." Sends a pretty clear message. So yeah, I don't expect gifts. I'm happy if people just show up.

Might as well have said abracadabra because just like magic, that friendship disappeared.

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I don't think this person really likes you and the friendship is more one-sided than mutual. I'd distance myself from her if I were you, OP. Even if she showed up with a small ticket item, it would have shown some thought. But the absence of any gift is just a sh*tty thing to do to a friend. I would be ashamed of myself if I showed up empty handed to a friend's b-day party. This isn't about material things, it's about basic decency, which she doesn't seem to have much of. Do not buy her a b-day gift, that's for sure. She's not worth it.