Guy Doesn’t Want To Deal With Adopted Dog Anymore; Livid When Wife Takes Dog And Leaves
Adopting a pet, be it a dog, a cat or some smaller animal, is always a big responsibility, one often associated not so much with actually caring for the pet, but with solving their mental problems. After all, dogs and cats are smart and social animals, so psychology often comes to the fore here.
The author of our story today, the user u/LedyyM, recently adopted a traumatized adult husky, and didn’t think at all that in a little over six months this would lead her marriage, well, if not to the brink of collapse, then to numerous quarrels with her husband – that’s for sure. However, let’s take everything in order.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post and her husband adopted an adult husky from a shelter seven months ago
Image credits: prostooleh / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The dog turned out to have severe separation anxiety and it actually made the owners’ life way more difficult
Image credits: LedyyM
Image credits: LedyyM
The author turned to the vet, who recommended sedating the dog while they’re not at home
Image credits: LedyyM
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
However, the author’s husband is still angry with the dog’s ‘unruly’ behavior whilst home alone and wants to rehome him
Image credits: LedyyM
The spouses ended up having a huge spat and the author even left home with the doggo
So, the Original Poster (OP) says that about seven months ago, she and her spouse adopted an adult husky, who was extremely malnourished and neglected. Since then, the dog has returned to good physical shape, but the mental problems didn’t go away. The author notes that the animal has severe separation anxiety, and he cannot stay home alone.
Our heroine works at a grooming salon, so she has the opportunity to take the dog with her to work – and with her, he behaves just fine. But as soon as the animal is left alone, he destroys doors, couches, and other furniture simply because he feels overly anxious when everyone leaves.
The vet prescribed trazodone to help with his severe anxiety issues, and when she and her husband go somewhere for a long time, and where they can’t take the dog, they are actually forced to sedate him. This, of course, upsets the woman – but she sees no other way out. Moreover, training also didn’t give the expected result…
However, her husband sees another way out – he claims that the dog is literally ruining their marriage, because the wife allegedly puts the pet above it all. The man has suggested rehoming the dog, but the OP is afraid that the dog’s specific behavior will sooner or later lead him to being possibly put down. And if the new family leaves him too, this will only further traumatize the animal.
The couple have had a lot of arguments in recent weeks, and some days ago, they had a fight to the point that our heroine took the dog, rented a room in a dog-friendly hotel for a couple of days, and simply left. Now the lady is seeking advice and support online, trying to figure out how to save her marriage without harming the dog.
Image credits: prostooleh / Freepik (not the actual photo)
First of all, we want to point out that in the photo, it’s not the dog’s tongue sticking out, but a chicken leg that he’s holding in his teeth, as the OP notes. However, the woman ignored reminders that it’s not recommended to give chicken bones to dogs. As for dealing with dogs’ separation anxiety, the Houston SPCA recommends gradually accustoming animals to the absence of their owners, over time increasing the time span for which you leave them alone.
Hounds Lounge also advises creating a safe place for the dog in the house – to minimize possible damage to furniture in other rooms. Make this place as comfortable as possible for the dog: leave plenty of toys, food and water there. And finally, remind the animal that it is the human who is the boss here.
However, huskies are a specific breed for which more than two or three hours alone during the day can become a significant issue even if the dog has not had any serious problems in its life. And in the case described in our story – even more so. Many commenters also noted that the author should’ve taken these factors into account when adopting this dog.
Some of the responders, who are also husky owners, noted that seven months in the case of an traumatized adult dog is actually very little time and that the original poster should actually contact a dog behavioral specialist, not a vet. In any case, as people wisely noted, the author and her husband should be patient, first of all… And do you, our dear readers, also agree with this?
People in the comments noted that the author needs a dog behavioral specialist rather than a vet, and wished them all patience
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There's lots that can be done for dogs with separation anxiety. The article mentioned increasing the time the dog was left alone, and giving a small reward at the end. The dog needs to learn they have not been abandoned, that they are safe, and loved. Whilst this training is happening, get in a dog sitter when you need to leave the house.
Yup. You can't just get a dog with separation anxiety and assume that it'll be fine with some meds if you're away. You can't be away for too long periods of time, but you also should teach the dog that it can't always be with you. Like you said a sitter and slow training is the best way to deal with this. They also have to be prepared for it to not work 100%, but just be happy with slow progress
Load More Replies...Adopting a dog is like having a child, you have to be prepared that it may not end up being perfect, and commit that you are in it for the long run and willing to put in the work. It takes time to build behaviours and train, 7 months from when they adopted (and saying that they "tried" suggests that they have not been doing it the whole time) is unlikely to be enough time for a dog who has been through a lot of negative experiences before they came to you.
Yes! And just like with humans, some traumas and experiences "stay" with a dog (or a cat!) for life, and even if you can ease their stress and anxiety, they may always have their certain "triggers", so to speak, or certain anxieties or behaviors even if they have vastly improved. Animals do have emotions and feelings, and a domestic dog's are very close to ours in concept, if not in actuality/complexity. I feel like OP WANTS to do right by Odin, but that she really didn't put in the ACTUAL time, work, and training to help Odin. She WANTS to be the heroic, good pet owner who "saved" a stressed, traumatized, unwanted doggo, but she isn't doing everything that she needs to do - for ODIN, not for herself to feel like she's doing what she needs to do. "Just" medicating him isn't the answer. Medication can be useful and necessary - just as it can be in a human with anxieties and traumas - but I feel like OP isn't "trying" hard enough (or in the correct ways) and is letting Odin down.
Load More Replies...Huskies are magical, but also way more work than most dog owners can handle. From the post I wonder about how much exercise he’s getting a day… most working dogs need to drain their battery so they’re too tired to destroy stuff…
Yeah, just taking him to work and have him sit there won't do much. He needs proper workout, preferably agility training or something engaging for both his mind and body
Load More Replies...Husky’s are an independent lot, strong willed, need activity, and companionship. Even one w/o trauma would not be the first choice if left alone. They are known to cause a fair amount of destruction in the best of cases. Not for amateurs. More behavioral training and crate training are necessary - be prepared for them to figure out how to destroy the crate though.
Our dog loves his crate. it's so big him & I can fit in it together ( he is 86 lbs) LOL he will go in by himself when he wants alone time or is stressed out from a thunderstorm or something like that. BUT the trainer told us never use it as a punishment it should always be a reward
Yep. My Belgian Malinois is crate-trained (I have the gigantic-est sized crate for him, lol.) It's his "safe place". He'll go in it to nap or just to hang out. The only time he genuinely gets "locked" in the crate is at night (for sleep) or for safety reasons, such as construction in the house, etc. I've NEVER used the crate as "punishment", so he doesn't view it as a "bad thing". My other dog, Stilgar, cannot be crated safely because he had distemper as a puppy and has a lot of neurological issues from it, including myoclonus (constant, uncontrollable muscle twitching.) But we "room trained" him for a similar effect for safety/emergencies (he has a "go to this particular spot in this particular room" command that he knows.) Crate training is an invaluable tool if used properly.
Load More Replies...OP mentioned trying to train as if it were a short term one time thing. A husky with separation anxiety needs an intensive commitment to training every day for at least as long as they've owned it, from both owners. Not to mention a huge exercise commitment. If OP and her husband aren't willing to do both real training and daily exercise of around 1 hour minimum I think rehoming the poor dog would be in its best interest. So many people adopt dogs without learning about the breed and its needs first. Puppies are a HUGE commitment.
Since both wanted to adopt in the first place, OP should try to get hubby on board for a specific timeline to see improvement. Start lots of exercise, crate training and separation training. Maybe they re-examine the situation in 4 months, if there is improvement, then continue training. If not, then a set time to find a person/ rescue that can take on training the dog for long term happiness. If the husband is not on board with it, then argue for a set time to find a good rescue/home for the dog. To send the husky back to the shelter (as opposed to a husky rescue) would likely result in the dog spending the rest of its life in the shelter, as not many people could take on such a traumatized dog.
What kind of an idiot gives their dog a chicken leg? Poultry bones tear up their intestines if they don't get stuck. Both are fatal. Is this dog still alive?
OP states it is a raw chicken leg. Raw meaty bones of appropriate size are perfectly safe for canines and felines. Raw bones are not brittle the way cooked bones are and don't "get stuck" or "tear up the intestines". You may want to hang on to your outrage until after you have all of the facts :) It may surprise you that canines and felines eat raw poultry all the time, including the bones, and don't die from doing so. And, of course, wild/feral canines and felines consume raw meat/bones - amazingly, canines and felines are carnivores, and are DESIGNED to eat raw meat and bone. I would currently advise everyone against feeding their pets a raw diet that includes chicken or turkey, as there have been cases of bird flu infecting cats fed a raw diet and killing them, but it was due to contamination from avian influenza type A H5N1, NOT the bones.
Load More Replies...There's lots that can be done for dogs with separation anxiety. The article mentioned increasing the time the dog was left alone, and giving a small reward at the end. The dog needs to learn they have not been abandoned, that they are safe, and loved. Whilst this training is happening, get in a dog sitter when you need to leave the house.
Yup. You can't just get a dog with separation anxiety and assume that it'll be fine with some meds if you're away. You can't be away for too long periods of time, but you also should teach the dog that it can't always be with you. Like you said a sitter and slow training is the best way to deal with this. They also have to be prepared for it to not work 100%, but just be happy with slow progress
Load More Replies...Adopting a dog is like having a child, you have to be prepared that it may not end up being perfect, and commit that you are in it for the long run and willing to put in the work. It takes time to build behaviours and train, 7 months from when they adopted (and saying that they "tried" suggests that they have not been doing it the whole time) is unlikely to be enough time for a dog who has been through a lot of negative experiences before they came to you.
Yes! And just like with humans, some traumas and experiences "stay" with a dog (or a cat!) for life, and even if you can ease their stress and anxiety, they may always have their certain "triggers", so to speak, or certain anxieties or behaviors even if they have vastly improved. Animals do have emotions and feelings, and a domestic dog's are very close to ours in concept, if not in actuality/complexity. I feel like OP WANTS to do right by Odin, but that she really didn't put in the ACTUAL time, work, and training to help Odin. She WANTS to be the heroic, good pet owner who "saved" a stressed, traumatized, unwanted doggo, but she isn't doing everything that she needs to do - for ODIN, not for herself to feel like she's doing what she needs to do. "Just" medicating him isn't the answer. Medication can be useful and necessary - just as it can be in a human with anxieties and traumas - but I feel like OP isn't "trying" hard enough (or in the correct ways) and is letting Odin down.
Load More Replies...Huskies are magical, but also way more work than most dog owners can handle. From the post I wonder about how much exercise he’s getting a day… most working dogs need to drain their battery so they’re too tired to destroy stuff…
Yeah, just taking him to work and have him sit there won't do much. He needs proper workout, preferably agility training or something engaging for both his mind and body
Load More Replies...Husky’s are an independent lot, strong willed, need activity, and companionship. Even one w/o trauma would not be the first choice if left alone. They are known to cause a fair amount of destruction in the best of cases. Not for amateurs. More behavioral training and crate training are necessary - be prepared for them to figure out how to destroy the crate though.
Our dog loves his crate. it's so big him & I can fit in it together ( he is 86 lbs) LOL he will go in by himself when he wants alone time or is stressed out from a thunderstorm or something like that. BUT the trainer told us never use it as a punishment it should always be a reward
Yep. My Belgian Malinois is crate-trained (I have the gigantic-est sized crate for him, lol.) It's his "safe place". He'll go in it to nap or just to hang out. The only time he genuinely gets "locked" in the crate is at night (for sleep) or for safety reasons, such as construction in the house, etc. I've NEVER used the crate as "punishment", so he doesn't view it as a "bad thing". My other dog, Stilgar, cannot be crated safely because he had distemper as a puppy and has a lot of neurological issues from it, including myoclonus (constant, uncontrollable muscle twitching.) But we "room trained" him for a similar effect for safety/emergencies (he has a "go to this particular spot in this particular room" command that he knows.) Crate training is an invaluable tool if used properly.
Load More Replies...OP mentioned trying to train as if it were a short term one time thing. A husky with separation anxiety needs an intensive commitment to training every day for at least as long as they've owned it, from both owners. Not to mention a huge exercise commitment. If OP and her husband aren't willing to do both real training and daily exercise of around 1 hour minimum I think rehoming the poor dog would be in its best interest. So many people adopt dogs without learning about the breed and its needs first. Puppies are a HUGE commitment.
Since both wanted to adopt in the first place, OP should try to get hubby on board for a specific timeline to see improvement. Start lots of exercise, crate training and separation training. Maybe they re-examine the situation in 4 months, if there is improvement, then continue training. If not, then a set time to find a person/ rescue that can take on training the dog for long term happiness. If the husband is not on board with it, then argue for a set time to find a good rescue/home for the dog. To send the husky back to the shelter (as opposed to a husky rescue) would likely result in the dog spending the rest of its life in the shelter, as not many people could take on such a traumatized dog.
What kind of an idiot gives their dog a chicken leg? Poultry bones tear up their intestines if they don't get stuck. Both are fatal. Is this dog still alive?
OP states it is a raw chicken leg. Raw meaty bones of appropriate size are perfectly safe for canines and felines. Raw bones are not brittle the way cooked bones are and don't "get stuck" or "tear up the intestines". You may want to hang on to your outrage until after you have all of the facts :) It may surprise you that canines and felines eat raw poultry all the time, including the bones, and don't die from doing so. And, of course, wild/feral canines and felines consume raw meat/bones - amazingly, canines and felines are carnivores, and are DESIGNED to eat raw meat and bone. I would currently advise everyone against feeding their pets a raw diet that includes chicken or turkey, as there have been cases of bird flu infecting cats fed a raw diet and killing them, but it was due to contamination from avian influenza type A H5N1, NOT the bones.
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