Having lived in this world for almost a quarter-century, I can tell that life is much more absurd than our parents and teachers tell us. Sometimes all you can do is laugh at bizarre situations.

It looks like the Tumblr blog Absurd Life Quote shares the same sentiment. Check out these ridiculously funny one-liners and tell us which ones you can identify with!

More info: Tumblr (h/t: designtaxi)

#1 Absurd Life Quote

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JuliaLyga 3 years ago

Ha

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#2 Absurd Life Quote

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JoshBungitak 3 years ago

That and having a maid named mom....missing her nightly cooking

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#3 Absurd Life Quote

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fredericeeckman 3 years ago

Tiny Dynamine, you know it's a common fact that people who feel the need to call people losers are the one who actually need to reassure themselves because they are very insecure ? Don't worry, we are not mad at you for being a loser looking for attention :)

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#4 Absurd Life Quote

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AlisonIrvine 3 years ago

i agree with this one, not remotely photogenic, me!

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#5 Absurd Life Quote

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ShannynSletcher 3 years ago

You have two!?! Damn it!

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Libesch 3 years ago

¡Muy bueno!

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AzizAzocha 3 years ago

When nothing goes right go to the left :)

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JohnBanister 3 years ago

Your secret is safe with me, I've forgotten it already. It's the best thing I know to do when people tell me things they want kept secret.

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#9 Absurd Life Quote

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Susan Ramsay 2 years ago

Sounds like me.

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Queenluxa 3 years ago

..me...

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#11 Absurd Life Quote

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fredericeeckman 3 years ago

Or you call back immediately while they are trying to call you back again, so you just have to deal with the answering machine. But you have the feeling you HAVE to be the one who will reach the other one first :D

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#12 Absurd Life Quote

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#14 Absurd Life Quote

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BethIbarra 3 years ago

This is my mantra!

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#15 Absurd Life Quote

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JuliaLyga 3 years ago

Haha this is great... Maybe in a couple years.. Rn I'm good with cheetos and Netflix...

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LusiaJahaubun 3 years ago

seems like we are same for this point :D

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#17 Absurd Life Quote

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Puppy222 3 years ago

Uh yes you do. Always

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#18 Absurd Life Quote

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VanTran 3 years ago

Love it !

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#19 Absurd Life Quote

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LeanneHeenan 3 years ago

I think this just about says it all.

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#20 Absurd Life Quote

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SusannaVesna 3 years ago

LMAO

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LoriLamb 3 years ago

Or "Eye of the Tiger."

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#22 Absurd Life Quote

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TinyDynamine 3 years ago

Exercise*

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#23 Absurd Life Quote

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LeopardHorse56 3 years ago

Too bad they all say princess or superhero! Lol

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#24 Absurd Life Quote

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Lorien 3 years ago

Me exactly

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#25 Absurd Life Quote

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fredericeeckman 3 years ago

No one gives a shit.

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#26 Absurd Life Quote

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Wulfur 2 years ago

I totally agree

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ManuSchuster 3 years ago

Remember #26

#28 Absurd Life Quote

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DesireeLoewens 3 years ago

My life exactly.

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AmyWeiss 3 years ago

Then again, no one's coming at me with a sword that's better than my sword in real life, either...

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#30 Absurd Life Quote

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LilyQuinn 2 years ago

Ggihrvbkojrresdfghkl alchahol mutates your internal organs. Getting overly drunk takes months even years off of your life....

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#31 Absurd Life Quote

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Debbie 3 years ago

That's my excuse eternally.....

#32 Absurd Life Quote

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Debbie 3 years ago

Very true.....Or realising that highlight of your week is doing the online shopping order....Street cred gone...

#33 Absurd Life Quote

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Debbie 3 years ago

Who wants to hear ANOTHER success story!! Bad,survival stories are much more interesting!

#34 Absurd Life Quote

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Debbie 3 years ago

Yep!.....Again....

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#35 Absurd Life Quote

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Debbie 3 years ago

Ha,ha,ha,ha...........

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Llamas and Squids 2 years ago

me too

#37 Absurd Life Quote

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blugeagua 5 months ago

This is quite fucked up misogynist shit. It goes with that ridiculous stereotype that girls are “stupid and don’t know what they want”.

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#38 Absurd Life Quote

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CathyBinder 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

stolen from twitter

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CHRISTOPHER HOGAN 11 months ago

true

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Pi 3 years ago

Ooooh! this one was a zinger!

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#41 Absurd Life Quote

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LouVarner 3 years ago

omg my ex use to say this

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#42 Absurd Life Quote

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Sidney Kozlowski 2 years ago

#25

#43 Absurd Life Quote

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Cayman 2 years ago

My friend likes to say "I have a six pack, it's just very shy"

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#44 Absurd Life Quote

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Pi 3 years ago

Your tears ARE precious currency.....to the right banker. :)

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CHRISTOPHER HOGAN 11 months ago

yes

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Debbie 3 years ago

I guess human beings are hypocritical by nature... Here in the UK,we abolished the Death Penalty in the 60's,yet we are at war in Syria,killing people who haven't been found guilty of anything!

#49 Absurd Life Quote

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Pi 3 years ago

Ah....the modern day Ouroboros.

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Pi 3 years ago

Maybe he has a secret identity we don't know of?

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#52 Absurd Life Quote

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VictoriaReyPiuma 2 years ago

Yep!

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Debbie 3 years ago

Or offering them the last slice of cake and they take it..... Midnight feast cancelled....Another one of the Christmas card list!!

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Ruth 1 year ago

Omgosh yes😂😂

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SquishCupcake 3 years ago

Ikr so true

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Ruth 1 year ago

I lov😂😂

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