Extremely Shortened Versions of Classic Books For Lazy People
When it comes to classic literature, people can generally be divided into the following three camps:
1. Those who have read it.
2. Those who pretend to have read it.
3. Those who keep saying they’re going to read it, but never do.
Hats off to the first camp, but we can’t really blame those from camps two and three. After all, classic books can often seem pretty formidable, not least because they’re often rather long. War and Peace is over 1,400 pages, Don Quixote is close to 1000, and James Joyce’s Ulysses, while not quite as long, is still, well, Ulysses.
But thanks to Cartoonist John Atkinson, such must-read books need no longer be intimidating because he’s kindly reduced them all to just a handful of words in these funny drawings below. Now you too can pretend to have read the best books! But beware, spoilers lie ahead!
John told Bored Panda that he’s planning on doing at least one more in the cartoon drawings series, but he hasn’t decided which books to include yet. So if you can think of any book to read that you’d like to see condensed then drop your suggestions into the comments section below!
More info: John Atkinson | Facebook | Twitter (h/t: laughing squid)
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Share on Facebook1984: Rebel develops Stockholm Syndrome. Eventually. Like everyone else.
Oopsie.... Looks like the one who abridged these haven't really read "Dante's Inferno". If they did, they'd know that 1. - It's really called The Divine Comedy; and 2. - Protagonist crosses all hell and purgatory until he reaches his love in paradise....
It's the first part of The Divine Comedy and it IS called Dante's Inferno, or just Inferno (by Dante). The whole Divine Comedy was made in three parts - Dante's Inferno, Dante's Purgatory and Dante's Paradise (or Heaven). But since the most popular part is Dante's Inferno they placed it here. And yes - it does not "break loose" it's more of an All Hell. Or "Where will I be after laughing at that kitten, check in this book" :)
Load More Replies...A Separate Peace: Kid grows up. Catcher In The Rye: Troubled Kid Grows Up.
Would be funny to see The Count of Monte Cristo and The Picture of Dorian Gray
The Count Of Monte Cristo: Poor nice guy turns bad. Becomes rich and goes extensive lengths to exact his revenge
Load More Replies...The War & Peace cracked me up! These r so true though! My mum always irritated me by saying things like "Oh my God, you still didn't read this and that! At your age I have read all of these "divine" classics!". I understand the importance of classic literature, but there are loads of great modern books out there, and one shouldn't feel bad about themselves just cz they haven't read "the classics". Hats off to those who did and can summarize it to us lazy people! :D
I agree with you on this one. Sure, if you can, it's great to read classics, you make your knowledge rich with information and your intelligence sparkling with creative fantasy, but unless it's connected to your major or professional field of interest, it's not really an obbligation, it's enough just to know about the contents. And btw I haven't read War and Peace either, I read Resurrection by Tolstoy, see, a non-classic masterpiece of a classic author.
Load More Replies...Beowulf kiled Gredel and hi mother, the dragon part was only aded in lates movie..... -_-
Not sure that's correct. Around lines 2500-2800, Beowulf departs with Wiglaf (after bringing peace to the land by slaying Grendel and his mother) in search of this dragon. He tries to kill it, his sword snaps, and the dragon kills him instead.
Load More Replies...Kids go to island. They kill each other for power. Free will is bad, must obey.
Load More Replies...How about the following: Hamlet, Macbeth, Pride and Prejudice, The Great Gatsby, In Search of Lost Time, The Lighthouse, The Buddenbrooks, Heart of Darkness, 1984... Brilliant!!
These remind me of a wonderfully silly book from the '70s called ShrinkLits: Seventy of the World's Towering Classics Cut Down to Size by Maurice Sagoff -- but these are even shorter! Sagoff condenses books into brilliant short poems. I recommend it to anyone who enjoyed this.
Of Mice and Men: Two grifters on road trip. Dumb one kills mice. Clever one kills dumb one.
In Dante's Inferno hell didn't break loose, the protagonist traveled through hell. Big difference.
The Stranger - A guy not giving a single f**k. Gets capital punishment and give small amount of f**k.
The catcher in the rye: boy drops out of school. Parties hard. Looks for ducks.
Brave New World: People look behind quilt of civilization to find ugly stitching
'We' by Zamyatian Man creates a robot. Man falls in love with a robot. The robot breaks his heart, man dies. The end of the world. 'Catcher in the Rye' by Salinger A boy drops out of school, hires a prostitute in order to talk to her, asks weird questions about ducks. Becomes a writer.
St. Augustine's "Confessions": "I'm made of suck, but still pretty smart."
My abridged Moby D**k....Crazy man chases whale. In the end only one survives.
Modern versions: Harry Potter series: Kid loses parents, has lousy childhood and gets lots of people killed.
Lolita. An old man falls for young women but she is love with another old man. Everybody dies. Deccameron , Boccacio- A group of hippies in The Middle Ages tells naughty stories. Camus -Plague: City is closed due to plague. Les Miserables. Everyone is miserable. Happy ending for the main role of girl in the book.
I've read a few of these, they didn't interest me at all. Personally I found them to be a bore. I've learned that 'classics' are not my thing. Great post, I love it :D
1984: Rebel develops Stockholm Syndrome. Eventually. Like everyone else.
Oopsie.... Looks like the one who abridged these haven't really read "Dante's Inferno". If they did, they'd know that 1. - It's really called The Divine Comedy; and 2. - Protagonist crosses all hell and purgatory until he reaches his love in paradise....
It's the first part of The Divine Comedy and it IS called Dante's Inferno, or just Inferno (by Dante). The whole Divine Comedy was made in three parts - Dante's Inferno, Dante's Purgatory and Dante's Paradise (or Heaven). But since the most popular part is Dante's Inferno they placed it here. And yes - it does not "break loose" it's more of an All Hell. Or "Where will I be after laughing at that kitten, check in this book" :)
Load More Replies...A Separate Peace: Kid grows up. Catcher In The Rye: Troubled Kid Grows Up.
Would be funny to see The Count of Monte Cristo and The Picture of Dorian Gray
The Count Of Monte Cristo: Poor nice guy turns bad. Becomes rich and goes extensive lengths to exact his revenge
Load More Replies...The War & Peace cracked me up! These r so true though! My mum always irritated me by saying things like "Oh my God, you still didn't read this and that! At your age I have read all of these "divine" classics!". I understand the importance of classic literature, but there are loads of great modern books out there, and one shouldn't feel bad about themselves just cz they haven't read "the classics". Hats off to those who did and can summarize it to us lazy people! :D
I agree with you on this one. Sure, if you can, it's great to read classics, you make your knowledge rich with information and your intelligence sparkling with creative fantasy, but unless it's connected to your major or professional field of interest, it's not really an obbligation, it's enough just to know about the contents. And btw I haven't read War and Peace either, I read Resurrection by Tolstoy, see, a non-classic masterpiece of a classic author.
Load More Replies...Beowulf kiled Gredel and hi mother, the dragon part was only aded in lates movie..... -_-
Not sure that's correct. Around lines 2500-2800, Beowulf departs with Wiglaf (after bringing peace to the land by slaying Grendel and his mother) in search of this dragon. He tries to kill it, his sword snaps, and the dragon kills him instead.
Load More Replies...Kids go to island. They kill each other for power. Free will is bad, must obey.
Load More Replies...How about the following: Hamlet, Macbeth, Pride and Prejudice, The Great Gatsby, In Search of Lost Time, The Lighthouse, The Buddenbrooks, Heart of Darkness, 1984... Brilliant!!
These remind me of a wonderfully silly book from the '70s called ShrinkLits: Seventy of the World's Towering Classics Cut Down to Size by Maurice Sagoff -- but these are even shorter! Sagoff condenses books into brilliant short poems. I recommend it to anyone who enjoyed this.
Of Mice and Men: Two grifters on road trip. Dumb one kills mice. Clever one kills dumb one.
In Dante's Inferno hell didn't break loose, the protagonist traveled through hell. Big difference.
The Stranger - A guy not giving a single f**k. Gets capital punishment and give small amount of f**k.
The catcher in the rye: boy drops out of school. Parties hard. Looks for ducks.
Brave New World: People look behind quilt of civilization to find ugly stitching
'We' by Zamyatian Man creates a robot. Man falls in love with a robot. The robot breaks his heart, man dies. The end of the world. 'Catcher in the Rye' by Salinger A boy drops out of school, hires a prostitute in order to talk to her, asks weird questions about ducks. Becomes a writer.
St. Augustine's "Confessions": "I'm made of suck, but still pretty smart."
My abridged Moby D**k....Crazy man chases whale. In the end only one survives.
Modern versions: Harry Potter series: Kid loses parents, has lousy childhood and gets lots of people killed.
Lolita. An old man falls for young women but she is love with another old man. Everybody dies. Deccameron , Boccacio- A group of hippies in The Middle Ages tells naughty stories. Camus -Plague: City is closed due to plague. Les Miserables. Everyone is miserable. Happy ending for the main role of girl in the book.
I've read a few of these, they didn't interest me at all. Personally I found them to be a bore. I've learned that 'classics' are not my thing. Great post, I love it :D
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