A Glimpse Into My Reality

I don't really know how to do this, but I’m going to give it a shot.

Next month, I’ll be celebrating one year at my job, and for me, this is a huge accomplishment. I’m sober now, but it definitely hasn’t always been that way.

I had an okay childhood with a single mother who did the best she could with what she had. I wouldn’t say it was a bad childhood, but there were a few traumatic events along the way. My mom’s abusive husband touched me. I had a crazy family that acted entitled without anything to back it up. My escape was school, where I made straight A’s and was on the honor roll in advanced placement classes.

Mental illness runs throughout my family and has been passed down through generations. My dad, who was never around and whom I never really knew, passed away mysteriously when I was seven.

I was an only child until I was thirteen. I believe that’s when my downhill slide began, and I know now that I have to own my part in it. I started skipping school, hanging out with the wrong crowd, and doing the usual stupid teenage rebellion things. The problem is, I never seemed to outgrow those immature behaviors. I kept repeating them well into adulthood.

Been beaten on, r**ed, kidnapped, and forgotten about in my life, and turned to dr**s and s*x to numb the pain. Had a child at 17 and dragged her through the mud with me for years before she was taken from me. I was r**ed by an ex and got pregnant at 20 with a son I gave up for adoption. I remained in the vicious cycle for the past 15 years. Lots of jail for not paying fines or child support over the years. Then the multiple rehabs, inpatient, outpatient, long term, short term… Finally, Dr*g Court.

Took me three years, but just recently graduated!!! Been at my job for almost a year, and my boss trusts me, has my name on a lease, and pays my bills. These aren’t significant to other people, but I am damn proud of myself…

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