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People Growing Up Bullied And Thinking They Were Ugly Just Got The Coolest Response Online
Being bullied is never a pleasant feeling for either party. I say ‘either party’ because it’s self-explanatory why it’s not pleasant for the bullied, but as for the bully, some argue that even the bully, in the long run, is quite likely to understand his horrible actions and feel anything but proud about it.
Many of us who were bullied at any point in our childhood have left it with a busted sense of self-esteem, irrational fears, or even anxiety, which is very hard to fix. But faith in humanity remains, as seen in this Tumblr post and one of its wholesome and uplifting responses.
RELATED:
Being bullied, let alone called “ugly” as a kid, is never a good thing, as it may end up in trauma later on
Image credits: Andrew Mager
Tumblr user oh-wow-lovelies shared a post under the hashtag #GrowingUpUgly, pointing out one of the many tactics that bullies used to use against her.
In particular, being considered “ugly” by peers by means of a bunch of guys convincing one of their friends to ask a girl out as a joke, only for her to get heartbroken and bullied.
There were a number of people who added to this, saying how this would inevitably break down one’s self-esteem and that they would end up very much convinced that they are ugly, and once you grow up, you’d be unable to take compliments seriously.
Several Tumblr users shared just how much being considered “ugly” in childhood sticks to you
Well, among these replies, one stood out. A Tumblr user by the nickname terminalpolitics came back with a pretty uplifting, wholesome, and reassuring response to all of this.
But, another user stepped up and gave a rather uplifting, wholesome and reassuring response to this
The user recalled a story from their school days about one girl in the class who would constantly be called ugly. Looking at the class picture today, from a grown-up perspective, she looked like an ordinary girl, not ugly at all, but kids were kids back then, and adults failed to do anything about it.
They humored the idea that perhaps none of the respondents in the post were actually ugly. Not only was this very likely kids experimenting with the limits of “callous human cruelty,” but it was also the fact that all kids look like they are weird humans in progress.
The user shared a story of how he was looking through school pictures and how the “ugly” kid wasn’t all that ugly really, bringing out a point of injustice
The point was brought to terms of “is what society dictates as ‘ugly’ truly ugly?” This quickly becomes a form of control that is by no means justified, wrong, and hence, not true to reality. Nobody deserves to grow up oppressed and ashamed of being themselves. “They don’t grow up ugly, they grow up emotionally abused.”
According to Stop Bullying, an official website of the US Government, such bullying ultimately leads to things like depression, anxiety, increased sense of sadness and loneliness, changed sleeping and eating patterns, decreased academic achievement, participation in society, and, eventually health issues.
All because someone arbitrarily decided you’re “ugly.”
He went on to discuss the unjust emotional scarring that being called “ugly” has left in many people, saying they deserve love and respect regardless
Terminalpolitics ended by saying that these people—the respondents, or anyone who used to be called ugly—are not ugly. Even if nobody, even themselves, could say ‘you’re not ugly’ to themselves, this Tumblr user did it, and continued with the reassurance that they did not deserve to be treated the way they were, and that they actually deserve happiness, love, and respect. “And you will find it. I promise.”
The Tumblr post quickly went viral, garnering over 300,000 notes. And why wouldn’t it? A fellow human came out to restore faith in themselves and humanity among internauts who needed reassurance and support. And I think we can all agree they achieved it.
Post image credits: Terminal Politics
What are your thoughts on this? Do you have some wholesome stories of reassurance? Let us know in the comment section below!
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What do you think ?
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago (edited)
The names I was called at school were awful, from boys and girls. Even had fruit and sandwiches thrown at me. Almost everyday I got insults from numerous people, like Bush pig, slag, mole, Mrs Ed (I have big gums), fugly, and changing my name to an insult too. I absolutely HATE how I look. The only thing I like about me is my eyes and my lips and that took me years of therapy and me TRYING bloody hard. The damage is done and here I am over 20 years later, still picking up the pieces that the bullies shredded off me.
Black Goat of the Woods 4 years ago
Oh man, I'm sorry - kids can be such assholes. Went through some of that s**t, too. I still hate my nose after all these years (unfortunately I've got my father's) since I've been called names about that (and many other things) at school. Some days I kind of like my face in front view but I'm always quite shocked when I happen to see myself in profile on a picture or on webcam (yikes!). Add my mother's jowels to my father's nose and there you go. But - last autumn I took what was a small but important step for me and got my nose pierced. Now I wear a ring in my big af nose and everyone who says that it's too big for that ... well... can just stare at my mask becauses nobody really sees it anyway these days. :D
Load More Replies...
Daria B 4 years ago
I second that. Thanks for this post. However, it left out one more very VERY important thing: do not be afraid to tell authorities about the cruelties you're experiencing. Seriously. I was bullied, but I was lucky, I managed to stay out of serious trouble, but there are kids out there who literally get raped (even gang raped) and mutilated by bully peers. And they're too embarrassed and scared to talk about it. Please, do talk. If there's no adult you can trust around you, try and reach out to the police at least. Try. Search for child protection organisations and try to contact them. No matter what the bully says to you, your life is your own, and it is freaking precious!
Load More Replies...
Charlotte A. 4 years ago
There are many things about self esteem and self realisation that should be taught to kids. Might not stop the bullying but it would make it harder for them to break anyone down. Might also make them question their own actions sooner.
Load More Replies...
Octavia Hansen 4 years ago
One more thought: The Quasimodo Syndrome. This is the twisted fairy tale of beauty that emotionally scars women to this day. Women are told to accept men as they are, men only want beautiful women . . . Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, Hunchback of Notre Dame. She was supposed to love the guy, but the men only looked at lovely women. UNFAIR!
TheReader19 4 years ago
I grow up feeling ugly because my own parents told me I was. Looking back on childhood photos I was just a normal little girl. Sad thing is at 53 years old i still feel ugly and unworthy
Neva Nevičica 4 years ago
So was i. And i can't believe to this day that my educated parents could say something like that. And i have a pretty brother, who was always told by the guests: Oh, what a pretty boy he is, and i was told: oh, you have grown up :D. I still feel kind of ugly-ish in spite of being in a long, loving relationship. And yes, i still think that people are giving me compliments because they feel sorry for me. But on the other hand, being pretty is not all and i see really gorgeous women feel ugly. If nothing else, it helped me to see beauty in other people and realize that being pretty is not the thing that will make me happy, but being brave and kind will. So, sister, don't worry, we are pretty just as anyone else. :)
Load More Replies...
Charlotte A. 4 years ago
Sorry no, one person saying what we already KNOW to be true, doesn't heal age old wounds. Don't want to be a grump, though. It's still good for these things to be said, and heard. (I don't buy into the "the bullies were just learning how society works" though. In my experience + from what I've read they're either afraid of getting bullied, so they trample others before they get trampled, or they're so stupid they honestly think themselves perfect and that it's OK for them to treat others like s**t. OK psychologists don't put it like that, but basically they have a lack of self knowledge and an exaggerated sense of self worth. I'm thinking Trump is a perfect example. And all kids' behaviour is learned at home, so if a kid's a bully, they were taught to be one by their parents, one way or another.)
AroAcePanda 4 years ago
i agree, but it is a step in the right direction.
Load More Replies...
Mohammad Ammar 4 years ago
I've never actually seen an ugly person, only regular people and attractive people. And no I'm not making this up or just saying this because.
Moisturized Elbows 4 years ago
Me too and i was say thins but most people don't believe me
Load More Replies...
Christine M Quigley 4 years ago
I was bullied in grammar school by all 11 boys in my class- some worse than others. I'll never forget Francis D'Amato- bruised my arm, he hit me so hard. So bullied at school, abused at home. No wonder I got married at 19.
Mad Mar 4 years ago
Oh I was the ugly kid. I had bad teeth from parents not taking me ever to the dentist. Thick glasses in second grade. A horrible grandmother that took me and my little sister to her salon when we were in grade school and they cut our long hair like little boys as a FU to my mom she hated. So add all that together and I still have the yearly school photos I can't bear to look at. Junior high wasn't easier. More kids than our small grade school classes. High school larger school easier to kinda hide. But I never talked to anyone. Had gum in my hair. Stuff thrown at me. Names called. Graduated. At 5 year reunion I showed up an no one believed it was me. I grew esteem and confidence. I realized I am who I make me regardless if my parents didn't help it. But f**k them all. Move on. Grow from it. Made me the person I am today. Bullies always will exist. Back they they didn't hide. I always smile at the little kids that look different because they smile back being seen.
Diane Knight 3 years ago
Poetic justice is when you grow into your ears, big teeth and slim out enough to turn heads and turn into a real beauty that is unrecognized of the former self. So yeah, some folks can actually change so much that the cool guy/gal will hit on you years later. What a boost to the ego.
Load More Replies...
Dog Lover 4 years ago
I grew up fat so I was always reminded of this by kids. I WAS the fat kid, so I always believed that I was ugly too. It was only that I grew older that realised that this wasn’t the case. It took many years to finally accept myself and that if you didn’t like me, that was your loss. I lost the weight (only recently) and I finally feel acceptable by society.
Doggo Froggo 4 years ago
You are right, it was their loss not to get to know such a wonderful person.
Load More Replies... Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago (edited)
The names I was called at school were awful, from boys and girls. Even had fruit and sandwiches thrown at me. Almost everyday I got insults from numerous people, like Bush pig, slag, mole, Mrs Ed (I have big gums), fugly, and changing my name to an insult too. I absolutely HATE how I look. The only thing I like about me is my eyes and my lips and that took me years of therapy and me TRYING bloody hard. The damage is done and here I am over 20 years later, still picking up the pieces that the bullies shredded off me.
Black Goat of the Woods 4 years ago
Oh man, I'm sorry - kids can be such assholes. Went through some of that s**t, too. I still hate my nose after all these years (unfortunately I've got my father's) since I've been called names about that (and many other things) at school. Some days I kind of like my face in front view but I'm always quite shocked when I happen to see myself in profile on a picture or on webcam (yikes!). Add my mother's jowels to my father's nose and there you go. But - last autumn I took what was a small but important step for me and got my nose pierced. Now I wear a ring in my big af nose and everyone who says that it's too big for that ... well... can just stare at my mask becauses nobody really sees it anyway these days. :D
Load More Replies... Daria B 4 years ago
I second that. Thanks for this post. However, it left out one more very VERY important thing: do not be afraid to tell authorities about the cruelties you're experiencing. Seriously. I was bullied, but I was lucky, I managed to stay out of serious trouble, but there are kids out there who literally get raped (even gang raped) and mutilated by bully peers. And they're too embarrassed and scared to talk about it. Please, do talk. If there's no adult you can trust around you, try and reach out to the police at least. Try. Search for child protection organisations and try to contact them. No matter what the bully says to you, your life is your own, and it is freaking precious!
Load More Replies... Charlotte A. 4 years ago
There are many things about self esteem and self realisation that should be taught to kids. Might not stop the bullying but it would make it harder for them to break anyone down. Might also make them question their own actions sooner.
Load More Replies... Octavia Hansen 4 years ago
One more thought: The Quasimodo Syndrome. This is the twisted fairy tale of beauty that emotionally scars women to this day. Women are told to accept men as they are, men only want beautiful women . . . Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, Hunchback of Notre Dame. She was supposed to love the guy, but the men only looked at lovely women. UNFAIR!
TheReader19 4 years ago
I grow up feeling ugly because my own parents told me I was. Looking back on childhood photos I was just a normal little girl. Sad thing is at 53 years old i still feel ugly and unworthy
Neva Nevičica 4 years ago
So was i. And i can't believe to this day that my educated parents could say something like that. And i have a pretty brother, who was always told by the guests: Oh, what a pretty boy he is, and i was told: oh, you have grown up :D. I still feel kind of ugly-ish in spite of being in a long, loving relationship. And yes, i still think that people are giving me compliments because they feel sorry for me. But on the other hand, being pretty is not all and i see really gorgeous women feel ugly. If nothing else, it helped me to see beauty in other people and realize that being pretty is not the thing that will make me happy, but being brave and kind will. So, sister, don't worry, we are pretty just as anyone else. :)
Load More Replies... Charlotte A. 4 years ago
Sorry no, one person saying what we already KNOW to be true, doesn't heal age old wounds. Don't want to be a grump, though. It's still good for these things to be said, and heard. (I don't buy into the "the bullies were just learning how society works" though. In my experience + from what I've read they're either afraid of getting bullied, so they trample others before they get trampled, or they're so stupid they honestly think themselves perfect and that it's OK for them to treat others like s**t. OK psychologists don't put it like that, but basically they have a lack of self knowledge and an exaggerated sense of self worth. I'm thinking Trump is a perfect example. And all kids' behaviour is learned at home, so if a kid's a bully, they were taught to be one by their parents, one way or another.)
AroAcePanda 4 years ago
i agree, but it is a step in the right direction.
Load More Replies... Mohammad Ammar 4 years ago
I've never actually seen an ugly person, only regular people and attractive people. And no I'm not making this up or just saying this because.
Moisturized Elbows 4 years ago
Me too and i was say thins but most people don't believe me
Load More Replies... Christine M Quigley 4 years ago
I was bullied in grammar school by all 11 boys in my class- some worse than others. I'll never forget Francis D'Amato- bruised my arm, he hit me so hard. So bullied at school, abused at home. No wonder I got married at 19.
Mad Mar 4 years ago
Oh I was the ugly kid. I had bad teeth from parents not taking me ever to the dentist. Thick glasses in second grade. A horrible grandmother that took me and my little sister to her salon when we were in grade school and they cut our long hair like little boys as a FU to my mom she hated. So add all that together and I still have the yearly school photos I can't bear to look at. Junior high wasn't easier. More kids than our small grade school classes. High school larger school easier to kinda hide. But I never talked to anyone. Had gum in my hair. Stuff thrown at me. Names called. Graduated. At 5 year reunion I showed up an no one believed it was me. I grew esteem and confidence. I realized I am who I make me regardless if my parents didn't help it. But f**k them all. Move on. Grow from it. Made me the person I am today. Bullies always will exist. Back they they didn't hide. I always smile at the little kids that look different because they smile back being seen.
Diane Knight 3 years ago
Poetic justice is when you grow into your ears, big teeth and slim out enough to turn heads and turn into a real beauty that is unrecognized of the former self. So yeah, some folks can actually change so much that the cool guy/gal will hit on you years later. What a boost to the ego.
Load More Replies... Dog Lover 4 years ago
I grew up fat so I was always reminded of this by kids. I WAS the fat kid, so I always believed that I was ugly too. It was only that I grew older that realised that this wasn’t the case. It took many years to finally accept myself and that if you didn’t like me, that was your loss. I lost the weight (only recently) and I finally feel acceptable by society.
Doggo Froggo 4 years ago
You are right, it was their loss not to get to know such a wonderful person.
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