People Growing Up Bullied And Thinking They Were Ugly Just Got The Coolest Response Online
Being bullied is never a pleasant feeling for either party. I say ‘either party’ because it’s self-explanatory why it’s not pleasant for the bullied, but as for the bully, some argue that even the bully, in the long run, is quite likely to understand his horrible actions and feel anything but proud about it.
Many of us who were bullied at any point in our childhood have left it with a busted sense of self-esteem, irrational fears, or even anxiety, which is very hard to fix. But faith in humanity remains, as seen in this Tumblr post and one of its wholesome and uplifting responses.
Being bullied, let alone called “ugly” as a kid, is never a good thing, as it may end up in trauma later on
Image credits: Andrew Mager
Tumblr user oh-wow-lovelies shared a post under the hashtag #GrowingUpUgly, pointing out one of the many tactics that bullies used to use against her.
In particular, being considered “ugly” by peers by means of a bunch of guys convincing one of their friends to ask a girl out as a joke, only for her to get heartbroken and bullied.
There were a number of people who added to this, saying how this would inevitably break down one’s self-esteem and that they would end up very much convinced that they are ugly, and once you grow up, you’d be unable to take compliments seriously.
Several Tumblr users shared just how much being considered “ugly” in childhood sticks to you
Well, among these replies, one stood out. A Tumblr user by the nickname terminalpolitics came back with a pretty uplifting, wholesome, and reassuring response to all of this.
But, another user stepped up and gave a rather uplifting, wholesome and reassuring response to this
The user recalled a story from their school days about one girl in the class who would constantly be called ugly. Looking at the class picture today, from a grown-up perspective, she looked like an ordinary girl, not ugly at all, but kids were kids back then, and adults failed to do anything about it.
They humored the idea that perhaps none of the respondents in the post were actually ugly. Not only was this very likely kids experimenting with the limits of “callous human cruelty,” but it was also the fact that all kids look like they are weird humans in progress.
The user shared a story of how he was looking through school pictures and how the “ugly” kid wasn’t all that ugly really, bringing out a point of injustice
The point was brought to terms of “is what society dictates as ‘ugly’ truly ugly?” This quickly becomes a form of control that is by no means justified, wrong, and hence, not true to reality. Nobody deserves to grow up oppressed and ashamed of being themselves. “They don’t grow up ugly, they grow up emotionally abused.”
According to Stop Bullying, an official website of the US Government, such bullying ultimately leads to things like depression, anxiety, increased sense of sadness and loneliness, changed sleeping and eating patterns, decreased academic achievement, participation in society, and, eventually health issues.
All because someone arbitrarily decided you’re “ugly.”
He went on to discuss the unjust emotional scarring that being called “ugly” has left in many people, saying they deserve love and respect regardless
Terminalpolitics ended by saying that these people—the respondents, or anyone who used to be called ugly—are not ugly. Even if nobody, even themselves, could say ‘you’re not ugly’ to themselves, this Tumblr user did it, and continued with the reassurance that they did not deserve to be treated the way they were, and that they actually deserve happiness, love, and respect. “And you will find it. I promise.”
The Tumblr post quickly went viral, garnering over 300,000 notes. And why wouldn’t it? A fellow human came out to restore faith in themselves and humanity among internauts who needed reassurance and support. And I think we can all agree they achieved it.
Post image credits: Terminal Politics
What are your thoughts on this? Do you have some wholesome stories of reassurance? Let us know in the comment section below!
The names I was called at school were awful, from boys and girls. Even had fruit and sandwiches thrown at me. Almost everyday I got insults from numerous people, like Bush pig, slag, mole, Mrs Ed (I have big gums), fugly, and changing my name to an insult too. I absolutely HATE how I look. The only thing I like about me is my eyes and my lips and that took me years of therapy and me TRYING bloody hard. The damage is done and here I am over 20 years later, still picking up the pieces that the bullies shredded off me.
Oh man, I'm sorry - kids can be such assholes. Went through some of that s**t, too. I still hate my nose after all these years (unfortunately I've got my father's) since I've been called names about that (and many other things) at school. Some days I kind of like my face in front view but I'm always quite shocked when I happen to see myself in profile on a picture or on webcam (yikes!). Add my mother's jowels to my father's nose and there you go. But - last autumn I took what was a small but important step for me and got my nose pierced. Now I wear a ring in my big af nose and everyone who says that it's too big for that ... well... can just stare at my mask becauses nobody really sees it anyway these days. :D
This sounds like severe bullying.I've had a few things said about me that still stick but nowhere near as bad as you describe.If I had been in your shoes, I'd be a total wreck! good on you for getting to where you are now!
Mohammed, this is so true because in reality the majority of us are just ordinary. Very few people are stand out, knock em dead gorgeous. I don't know how we have come to value a looks which are unreal and unattainable without the help of a very good surgeon. But maybe I've just hit the nail on the head as very few stars haven't had plastic surgery
Well, Foxxy, we all know none of that is true. And even if it is, who gives a f**k? You’re a wonderful, kind, caring, amazing human being. Edit: I’ve never been renowned for my tact.
Foxy, I am beyond sorry to hear that. Kids really can be little monsters. You are so strong to post your experiences and to have come as far as you have. I wish you all the best.
The first person to tell me I was horribly irredeemably and unrelentingly worthlessly UGLY? My older sister. She made sure I knew, almost every other day, till she died. She got her friends to add to the "You suck!" chorus. Their younger siblings joined in. I'm married 30 years and still not sure I'm good-looking enough to warrant my spouse's compliments. I mean, my own sister said it, right? (IIRC, I was about 3 years old first time I heard that, based on my mom recalling when she punished my sister, who was about 9 years old.) YES WORDS HURT.
Foxxy that is just f****d up, I’ve seen bullying get extreme but that is beyond anything I’ve even heard of, kids are assholes and don’t even consider anything they’ve said about you. Not only am I sure you weren’t very ugly back then I’m sure that you are a new and wonderful person now. As you can see you have the support of everyone on this site and good luck on your journey back to confidence
This is completely and utterly story of my life. Except no matter how hard I try to love myself, my self-esteem is so low I don't belive I'm worthy of anything. I can't even believe when someone pays me a compliment these days. I'm always looking for ulterior motives.
When you're different, and you clearly are, judging by your reactions, in the way you're smart, sensitive and all around funny and nice, people pick on you. In the worst ways ever. They will find one thing that's even the slightest out of the ordinary and blow it up so you don't shine too much and put them down in the process. For me, as a kid, I was bullied for being fat. I always believed it (I was bigger after all) and couldn't get rid of that image. Nice vicious circl too with emotional eating attached. And now that I'm actually fat (two kids put some weight on me) I like me so much better. I like to think we persevere in staying good people, even if they try to put us down. It's not about your gums, it's about the smile they're part of.
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I'm sorry your were tormented as a child. It is awful (and the reason that many people I know homeschool their kids). You now have a nice life and a loving spouse, yes? We all know you are caring and have a delightful sense of humor. I would wager that you are not as unattractive as you think. And that the author is correct - you weren't an ugly child either. But, if you are truly unhappy with how you look, do something about it. Get plastic surgery. Don't let the taboos bother you. Find a way to be happy with yourself - even if it seems drastic to some. Because at the end of the day - you deserve to be happy with yourself - including your looks. Though I think you are probably much more attractive than you realize (nice eyes and lips are lovely).
Thanks for this post.
I second that. Thanks for this post. However, it left out one more very VERY important thing: do not be afraid to tell authorities about the cruelties you're experiencing. Seriously. I was bullied, but I was lucky, I managed to stay out of serious trouble, but there are kids out there who literally get raped (even gang raped) and mutilated by bully peers. And they're too embarrassed and scared to talk about it. Please, do talk. If there's no adult you can trust around you, try and reach out to the police at least. Try. Search for child protection organisations and try to contact them. No matter what the bully says to you, your life is your own, and it is freaking precious!
I went through hell as a kid. Had problems at home and it caused me to be the target at school. From grade school all the way through high school. It went from name calling (still hear it 40yrs later) to being pushed down stairs to being molested in school hallways daily. My mother's response was always "deal with your own problems". So I had no one to talk to. It still bothers me, I was able to have a normal life, but it has been a lot of hard work, and I still have no self esteeme
yes It is important to talk about it...I don't talk about mine bc my friends know even before I tell them. It depends on how you deal with it and who you can tell...don't tell anyone you don't trust and only tell them when YOU are ready.
I really needed someone to say this to me when I was younger..
There are many things about self esteem and self realisation that should be taught to kids. Might not stop the bullying but it would make it harder for them to break anyone down. Might also make them question their own actions sooner.
Bullies will say anything (You're ugly - You're fat - You're stupid - You stink) to a vulnerable kid just to make themselves feel strong. Even if a kid gets positive reinforcement at home, it doesn't matter as much as the crap from the peer group,. Abusive siblings make it worse.
Yes, finally finding my beauty in my 40's, still no clue how to deal with the idea a man I like, might like me. No idea if I'm just that scarred my boys jokingly asking me out, or if I'm actually just not that into the idea of a relationship. Sadly I can't tell, and wonder what I missed out on.
The names I was called at school were awful, from boys and girls. Even had fruit and sandwiches thrown at me. Almost everyday I got insults from numerous people, like Bush pig, slag, mole, Mrs Ed (I have big gums), fugly, and changing my name to an insult too. I absolutely HATE how I look. The only thing I like about me is my eyes and my lips and that took me years of therapy and me TRYING bloody hard. The damage is done and here I am over 20 years later, still picking up the pieces that the bullies shredded off me.
Oh man, I'm sorry - kids can be such assholes. Went through some of that s**t, too. I still hate my nose after all these years (unfortunately I've got my father's) since I've been called names about that (and many other things) at school. Some days I kind of like my face in front view but I'm always quite shocked when I happen to see myself in profile on a picture or on webcam (yikes!). Add my mother's jowels to my father's nose and there you go. But - last autumn I took what was a small but important step for me and got my nose pierced. Now I wear a ring in my big af nose and everyone who says that it's too big for that ... well... can just stare at my mask becauses nobody really sees it anyway these days. :D
This sounds like severe bullying.I've had a few things said about me that still stick but nowhere near as bad as you describe.If I had been in your shoes, I'd be a total wreck! good on you for getting to where you are now!
Mohammed, this is so true because in reality the majority of us are just ordinary. Very few people are stand out, knock em dead gorgeous. I don't know how we have come to value a looks which are unreal and unattainable without the help of a very good surgeon. But maybe I've just hit the nail on the head as very few stars haven't had plastic surgery
Well, Foxxy, we all know none of that is true. And even if it is, who gives a f**k? You’re a wonderful, kind, caring, amazing human being. Edit: I’ve never been renowned for my tact.
Foxy, I am beyond sorry to hear that. Kids really can be little monsters. You are so strong to post your experiences and to have come as far as you have. I wish you all the best.
The first person to tell me I was horribly irredeemably and unrelentingly worthlessly UGLY? My older sister. She made sure I knew, almost every other day, till she died. She got her friends to add to the "You suck!" chorus. Their younger siblings joined in. I'm married 30 years and still not sure I'm good-looking enough to warrant my spouse's compliments. I mean, my own sister said it, right? (IIRC, I was about 3 years old first time I heard that, based on my mom recalling when she punished my sister, who was about 9 years old.) YES WORDS HURT.
Foxxy that is just f****d up, I’ve seen bullying get extreme but that is beyond anything I’ve even heard of, kids are assholes and don’t even consider anything they’ve said about you. Not only am I sure you weren’t very ugly back then I’m sure that you are a new and wonderful person now. As you can see you have the support of everyone on this site and good luck on your journey back to confidence
This is completely and utterly story of my life. Except no matter how hard I try to love myself, my self-esteem is so low I don't belive I'm worthy of anything. I can't even believe when someone pays me a compliment these days. I'm always looking for ulterior motives.
When you're different, and you clearly are, judging by your reactions, in the way you're smart, sensitive and all around funny and nice, people pick on you. In the worst ways ever. They will find one thing that's even the slightest out of the ordinary and blow it up so you don't shine too much and put them down in the process. For me, as a kid, I was bullied for being fat. I always believed it (I was bigger after all) and couldn't get rid of that image. Nice vicious circl too with emotional eating attached. And now that I'm actually fat (two kids put some weight on me) I like me so much better. I like to think we persevere in staying good people, even if they try to put us down. It's not about your gums, it's about the smile they're part of.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
I'm sorry your were tormented as a child. It is awful (and the reason that many people I know homeschool their kids). You now have a nice life and a loving spouse, yes? We all know you are caring and have a delightful sense of humor. I would wager that you are not as unattractive as you think. And that the author is correct - you weren't an ugly child either. But, if you are truly unhappy with how you look, do something about it. Get plastic surgery. Don't let the taboos bother you. Find a way to be happy with yourself - even if it seems drastic to some. Because at the end of the day - you deserve to be happy with yourself - including your looks. Though I think you are probably much more attractive than you realize (nice eyes and lips are lovely).
Thanks for this post.
I second that. Thanks for this post. However, it left out one more very VERY important thing: do not be afraid to tell authorities about the cruelties you're experiencing. Seriously. I was bullied, but I was lucky, I managed to stay out of serious trouble, but there are kids out there who literally get raped (even gang raped) and mutilated by bully peers. And they're too embarrassed and scared to talk about it. Please, do talk. If there's no adult you can trust around you, try and reach out to the police at least. Try. Search for child protection organisations and try to contact them. No matter what the bully says to you, your life is your own, and it is freaking precious!
I went through hell as a kid. Had problems at home and it caused me to be the target at school. From grade school all the way through high school. It went from name calling (still hear it 40yrs later) to being pushed down stairs to being molested in school hallways daily. My mother's response was always "deal with your own problems". So I had no one to talk to. It still bothers me, I was able to have a normal life, but it has been a lot of hard work, and I still have no self esteeme
yes It is important to talk about it...I don't talk about mine bc my friends know even before I tell them. It depends on how you deal with it and who you can tell...don't tell anyone you don't trust and only tell them when YOU are ready.
I really needed someone to say this to me when I was younger..
There are many things about self esteem and self realisation that should be taught to kids. Might not stop the bullying but it would make it harder for them to break anyone down. Might also make them question their own actions sooner.
Bullies will say anything (You're ugly - You're fat - You're stupid - You stink) to a vulnerable kid just to make themselves feel strong. Even if a kid gets positive reinforcement at home, it doesn't matter as much as the crap from the peer group,. Abusive siblings make it worse.
Yes, finally finding my beauty in my 40's, still no clue how to deal with the idea a man I like, might like me. No idea if I'm just that scarred my boys jokingly asking me out, or if I'm actually just not that into the idea of a relationship. Sadly I can't tell, and wonder what I missed out on.