For 100 Days, I Illustrated People In Exchange For Their Secrets
I'm Terence Eduarte and I'm an illustrator from the Philippines. Every person has an interesting story to tell and I wanted to channel that into this project. I gathered a lot of silly secrets from friends and unexpected confessions from strangers around the world.
Here are some of them.
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"It Was My 28th Birthday Last Week And No One Remembered It. Not A Single Call Or Text From My Friends And Family. So I Woke Up The Next Day, Sat Outside My House And Cried Quietly. My Dog Came And Started Crying Too. It Was The Most Beautiful Thing Someone Has Ever Done For Me"
"I Burned The Suicide Note I Wrote A Month Ago. Today Is A Good Day"
Enjoy life while you can. Don't let anything or anybody bring you down.
"I Always Check If My Friends Are Doing Well, But People Rarely Ask How I Am"
"I Try My Hardest To Make People Happy Because I Know What It's Like To Feel Absolutely Worthless. I Don't Want Anyone Else To Feel Like That"
"I Sometimes Feel Alone Even If I'm With Friends. I Feel Like I'm Just An Add-On When We're Together"
Sometimes is because you are actually different and just don't fit. I know the feeling buddo
"I'm Acting In A Play Where This Guy Has To Act Like He's Secretly In Love With Me. But When The Play Ends, We Go Back To Real Life Where I'm Secretly In Love With Him"
"I Told My Unborn Son I Wasn't Ready To Be Loved By Him. The Next Day I Miscarried"
There will be a lot of comments here that you (or someone in this situation) may see. Some will be negative. But if you read just one comment here, please let it be this: a miscarriage was not your fault. You would have loved your baby unconditionally - whether you held it in your arms or asked someone else to raise it. The fact that you were scared and uncertain just means you are human - a kind, compassionate human. You will make an amazing mother one day. <3
"It's Been Two And A Half Years But I Still Can't Tell Those Around Me That I Am HIV Positive. So Instead Of Focusing On What I Can't Do, I Volunteer To Help Change The Stigma Around HIV"
I love you who ever you are if you where my family I would be right there with you volunteering.
"Half Of My Friends Are People I Wish I've Never Met"
Then it's important to focus on the other half. You can always turn your life around, there are always going to be people who you relate with better.
"I Want To Ask My Half-Sister If Our Estranged Dad Ever Touched Her Back When They Were Living Under The Same Roof. Or Was I His Only Victim?"
"It Sucks To Feel Unimportant. I Know You Shouldn't Really Expect Much From People But It Hurts To See When They Only Come To You When They Need Something. They Only Remember Me, Not Because Of Me, But For Something They Might Gain"
"I Wanted To Visit My Grandmother In The Hospital But It Was A Long Walk And I Got Lazy. The Next Day, She Passed Away"
"I Tell People My Mom Died From Cancer When She Actually Died From Cirrhosis Due To Alcoholism. I Didn't Want People To Think She Was A Horrible Mother. We Were Close No Matter How Different The Alcohol Made Her Sometimes"
I don't think you ever have to explain HOW your mom died if people know that it's a sensitive subject for you.
"I Lost My Smile A Long Time Ago. Now I Go Everywhere Hoping Nobody Will Notice That This Isn't My Smile Anymore"
"I Was Abused When I Was 6 Or 7. I Can't Remember Which Age, But I Remember What The Abuser Did. He Drew Naked Figures, Showed Me Where To Touch, Made Me Touch Things... Things I Don't Want To Remember. I Didn't Know It Was Wrong Back Then, But I'm Grateful That It Didn't Go Any Further. It Left A Big Impact On Me And I Always Blamed Myself For It. I Got OCD After That. My Every Action Repeated, My Daily Routines Repeated. I Wash Repeatedly, Lock And Unlock Doors Repeatedly, Read My School Books Repeatedly. I Repeat Words 50 To 100 Times Till It Satisfies Me. It Affected My Life So Much, And No One Knew Why. And No One Knew Why"
You are not to blame and should not let it ruin your life, see a Counsellor for some help, trust me I know
"I Got Drugged And Raped By Someone I Knew And Can't Get Myself To Tell Anyone For Fear Of Victim Blaming. But On Most Days, I Can't Help But Victim Blame Myself"
make sure to get help for yourself, then decide what to do. You are not to blame.
"I Wrote Letters To My Girlfriend Every Day. Every Day Until Her Lung Cancer Took Her Away From Me"
Those words will mean she is never lost and shows how much she ment. She will have gone in knowing someone cared enough to make an effort for her
"I Like To Think The Best Of People But I Actually Think Most Humans Are Terrible"
Treat everyone as though they are good people - but only let them close when they prove to be good x
"I Created An Imaginary Friend As A Coping Mechanism For My Depression. Now I Want To Make Her Disappear But She Keeps Coming Back"
"I Got Rejected By My Friends Because They Think I’m Gay. I Tried Telling Them That I'm Not But I’m Starting To Realize They Might Be Right. I’m Lost Between Myself And Our Friendship"
"I Am Generally Thankful And Happy About What I've Got In My Life. But I Always Feel Like There Is A Black Hole In My Heart That No One Would Understand, Some Pain Just Won't Go Away And I'm Trying Hard To Live With It"
"I Am Constantly Thinking About What Other People Think Of Me. And I Don't Think That's Healthy"
"One Day, I Came Home From The University And My Mother Told Me To Cover Up My Legs In Front Of My Friends. She Didn't Want Them To Realize I Had Gained Weight And She Said She Was Just Protecting Me From Gossip. The Comment Didn't Leave My Mind And I've Been Bulimic Ever Since"
"I Don't Know What I Want..."
"Although The Nasty Rumors That Circulated About Me Were Untrue, I Don't Bother Correcting Them And Let People Think I'm Not A Virgin Anymore. But The Truth Is, I Haven't Even Had My First Kiss"
I smiled a little at this. You got a hard skin and that's what matters. you're true to yourself
"I'm Always The One Who Gets Left In A Relationship. I Thought I Was Okay. I Try To Convince Myself That I Am Okay. But There Are Nights When I Just Have Sudden Breakdowns And I Ask Myself So Many Questions. Is Something Wrong With Me... Am I Really Not Worth Fighting For?"
"I Don't Like My Close Friends Being Close With Other People"
"Many Years Ago, I Was So Broke That I Stole A Roll Of Toilet Paper From My Office"
"I'm A Perfectionist Who Isn't Perfect At All. It's Exhausting"
"My First Relationship Was A Physically And Emotionally Abusive One. When That Finally Ended, It Took Me A While To Get Used To The Idea That Love Can Actually Be Expressed In Ways Other Than What I Have Experienced"
"He Is The Love Of My Life But I Found That Out Too Late. Whenever There Is Snow, It Reminds Me Of Him"
So... based on wordings, you loved a snowman and it melted.
"I'm So Self-Conscious That I Can't Even Go To The Grocery Without Comparing Myself To Other Women There"
Everyone feels the same and someone, somewhere would love to be you and have your life. Trust me on that one
"I Contributed To My Friends' Success And Resent Them For Not Including Me Once They Became Famous"
"I Am A Journalist Secretly Dating A High-profile And Controversial Public Official. If This Gets Out, I'm Almost Certain I'll Lose My Job"
"Father's Day Will Always Be The Time Of The Year I'll Envy Everybody For Posting How Great Their Dads Are. I Used To Be Sad About It But Now, I Think I Accepted That He Won't Be That Hero And Role Model Every Father Should Be"
"I Made Up An Entire Part Of My Life. People Believe Some Of The Things Actually Happened, But Really A Lot Of My Stories Are Fake"
"I’ve Cheated On Quite A Few Guys. And Now That I've Found The Love Of My Life, He Wasn't Ready For Me. He Was Seeing Me While He Was Seeing His Ex. If There's Any Way To Portray Karma In Its Purest, Most Painful And Justified Form, This Is It"
"I Can’t Stand The Ringing Of Bells. Every Time I Hear It, My Heart Beats Faster. It Reminds Me Of My Mom's Voice And The Bells On Her Keys That Would Ring Every Single Time She Comes Home. God Knows What She Had Done To Me"
"I Fall In Love Too Easily And Terribly Hard. I Don't Know If That's A Good Or Bad Thing"
"I Dont Have A Twitter Account But I Still Stalk Him On Twitter Just To Check How He's Doing. He Seems To Be Doing Fine. I'm Not..."
"I Overdo Things And I Constantly Make Myself The Center Of Attention Because I'm Terrified Of Being Forgotten"
"I Think I'll Never Find My Other Half Because I Have A Hard Time Expressing And Feeling Love; It Might Sound Weird But I Would Only Feel Love After Watching Films And Series Because Of The Beauty They Hold"
"Five Years Ago, I Caught My Third Girlfriend Cheating On Me. That Was The Time I Decided To Have A Boyfriend Instead"
“i Was Born Into A Culture That Never Accepted Me. Born To An Arab Father And A European Mother; I Am Constantly Fighting Two Sides Of My Identity. Anxiety And Depression Has Completely Taken Over Me”
"Sometimes I Feel Like I Am A Really Abusive Person That Only Use People For My Own Good. This Scares Me So Much"
"It's Been Two Years But I Still Think About My Ex Every Day. It's Cliche And Lame I Know. I Wish I Had A Better Secret"
Well I have 12 years, thinking of him, recently I find out he is getting married this year and its killing me, I wish that movie of jim carrey and kate winslet was true, that way I could erase that guy from brain😢
"I Have A Weird Obsession With Smelling The Scent Of Paper And Hearing The Sound While Flipping Through The Pages"
"I'm In The Military So I Can't Be Open About My Suicidal Thoughts. They Constantly Give You Training On Suicide Prevention But They Don't Get That Once You Make The Decision To Take Your Life Nothing Changes That Decision Unless You Have True Hope, And That's My Husband For Me. I Don't Think Very Many People Out There Have True Hope"
True indeed. Those who don't have hope just can't be saved without giving them it. Words don't matter in such cases much. But love goes a long way
"I've Posted Photos And Stories On Social Media To Show People How Interesting And Colorful My Life Is. However, It's Just The Total Opposite"
"I Haven't Been Posting Any Photo With My Face On It Since Last Year. I Feel Better Than Ever"
"My Bipolar Disorder Is Completely Out Of Control. No One Knows, Because I'm Good At Being Fine"
There's great medicine out there. I was lucky and with my first medication, I am almost entirely free from the crazy swings.