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“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying
Sometimes, the things that you think are completely all right to say and do are far from okay. In fact, they might be so deep in creepy territory, it’s making people feel uncomfortable and even threatened.
A viral thread by redditor SuperElectronicGray inspired women to open up about all the things that men do that they think is perfectly fine but are actually very creepy. Most of these things are a symptom of toxic masculinity where men follow a very narrow, predetermined set of instructions about how males are “supposed to” behave. And it’s not good for anyone.
Have a read through the uncomfortable situations with men that these redditors have been through and be sure to check out Bored Panda’s interview with a psychotherapist about the potential dangers of toxic masculinity to society and to men themselves.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Flirting with me in a position where I can't leave, like an Uber or taxi. Once I had an Uber driver flirt with me the entire ride late on a Friday night. I tried to stop responding, but he kept telling me how beautiful I am. Most times, when women aren't interested and you keep pushing it, we get scared we're gonna get assaulted or killed! It's terrifying.
CatWoman312 4 years ago
And if she left a negative review he knows where she lives. This is the kind of world we live in
Suzy the observer 4 years ago
OMG!! I'll keep using licensed taxis thank you.
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Viviane 4 years ago
The vast majority of taxi drivers have been fine, including the extroverted ones. Over the past ten years, I've only had to do quick thinking just twice: in one case, I cheerfully mentioned that my better half was up waiting for me; in the other, I started to act a bit dangerously crazy (no threats, but a bit explosive) and had the driver drop me off several blocks from home to avoid stalking.
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
I had a cabbie recite love poems to me and a friend the whole way home. I got out before her and made her text me she got home ok. She called her then bf to come get her cause this guy was a super creep
Flora Fairford 4 years ago
And, if women seem like they're flirting back, it's not because they like you - it's because they are scared and are trying to appease you.
Alexis 4 years ago
I had Uber drivers who flirted and asked me out during the ride. It was the most uncomfortable thing. One Uber driver commented on how I must be a "bad girl" because of my piercings. *vomit* When I arrived at my destination, he was like "oh so you live here?" Luckily, I lived near a very huge apartment complex and I used to put that as my address instead of my real one. I walked into the courtyard (no gate) and waited until he left to cross the street to where my real home is.
Requiem 4 years ago
UBER was letting actual criminals an sex offenders drive for them in the US.
Sorican 4 years ago
it's not like they knew. I mean, they should have known- but they didn't run background checks. Uber loves to make a big issue that their employees are just contractors to get around all sorts of legal issues. Like minimum wage, hiring sex offenders that would never be allowed to get a taxi medallion... etc.
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Samantha Power 4 years ago
That must have been awful for you, have been in the same position and yes it is terrifying.
Lyn Moffett 4 years ago
Always text someone to ring you, if you can, while you're in the Uber and let the driver hear you say yes I'm in the Uber now,I should be with you in 5/10 minutes. I'll see you where I'm being dropped off. Thanks for waiting on me. It should quieten the driver and make him think twice. A guy put a video up explaining it better than I did but you get the gist I hope.
RELATED:
#2
Taking common politeness as romantic interest
Mike Crow 4 years ago
Took me a while to understand this. When I was a young man no one talked to me so if a girl did I thought she liked me. Then I went too far the other way and a couple girls actually did like me and were flirting but I thought they were being polite.
Jan Bregulla 4 years ago (edited)
So how do I tell the difference? it´s really hard for me to tell. My latent autism does really not help to understand that.
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ToGo 4 years ago
I used to compliment men and women equally. Unfortunately, the majority of the time the men would think it was flirting or an invitation. I mean I would say "I really like that shirt" or "that hair cut suits you", you know, simple statements. I just stop myself now unless it's someone I trust. It's just safer not to engage.
Luke Oakridge 4 years ago
The problem, though, is that men don't get complimented as much as women, so any compliment they get seems special. I think it if were socially common for men to be complimented as much as women are, then men would consider it more normal.
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Something 4 years ago
It really doesn't help that women who are less polite are considered rude and those who are more forthcoming when showing romantic interest are considered sluts.
Elaine Mattingly 4 years ago
Only in some places by some men . There are times when a gentleman responds in a pleasent way to a simple, "Hello."
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Kirsten Verbeek 4 years ago
Especially in a work enviroment where you are in no position to call them out on it because you have to stay polite an professional...
Tamara Kroonen 4 years ago
Just whisper while you politely smile: "You are solliciting to become a eunich". And pet them on the shoulder. That'll do.
Load More Replies... Anita Pickle 4 years ago (edited)
This one is hard. I make eye contact and smile at everyone I pass. I just do, I do not know I am doing it, it is just who I am. Sadly this invites people to want to follow me, and act creepy.
Elaine Mattingly 4 years ago
I've had two stalkers in my life simply because I responded that the weather was nice. It is not your responsibility to be unfriendly because there are some bad people mixed in with good decent people.
Load More Replies... cassiushumanmother 4 years ago
Like this married coworker who sent me "i love you" text. ???? "WTF, Why would you believe that i'm OK with it?"? "but you are so nice to me!". I didn't know that i had to treat coworkers like shït to avoid any misanderstanding. This coworker harrased me for months after that, following me on the streets and sending creepy texts like "your window is open you will get a cold, lol". WTF? spying on a coworkers house is not a matter of LOL creepy psychopath. But i was so NICE to him, my bad.
Tobin Kern 4 years ago
Are we too naive to think women don't do this as well? Some people just have bad social awareness
Alan Green 4 years ago
i'm the opposite. never think any girl is ever interested so never try to take the next step, then years later when I bump into them again they'd say "why didn't you ask me out? I was waiting". pffft I can't read the signals. Happened a couple of times. Why they couldn't just ask me out I never know. Damned if you do. Damned if you don't.
J Charby 4 years ago
Lol my husband is the same. Met at 14 and he wouldn't talk to me until I pushed him to lol then years later we went out for coffee and I needed to clarify if it was a date... "did you want it to be?" was his response lol we've been together ten years now. I agree, some women need to be a bit more open with what they want too lol
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#3
That hassling you for a date because you don't have a bf is not okay.
'But you don't have a bf...'
The point is dude, I'd rather be single than date you. Take the bloody hint.
I want cake 4 years ago
This one makes me so angry. Like I'm only allowed to say no if another man has already staked his claim? Fück off.
Viviane 4 years ago
Years back, an ex-boyfriend kept trying to fix me up with his lonely friends. The day he tried to fix me up with an interested stranger, I told him, "You have a pimp mentality." He was taken aback, I explained what I meant, and he never did it again. By the way, his friends did eventually get partners - it seems that there's more than one woman on this planet.
Lena Flising 1 year ago
The other way is creepy too; when you say No, and they keep on hassling, but then you say "I have a boyfriend/husband", and they back off, like they respect a non-present man over your own "No".
ROSESARERED 1 year ago
I had a guy harassing me at my retail job, because I wasn't wearing a ring, and he needed a wife...im 5o+... he was in his late 60s...I now wear a ring, spoken for, not available..I'm.very happy single
Sjef Smeets 4 years ago
No, I don't have a boyfriend. And there's a reason for that. Apparently you don't have a girlfriend. Probably there's a reason for that too...
Mickey Sylvestre 4 years ago
Dating is hard enough when your single for too long, You forget the signals and even if people are actually interested in you. I'm always confused when I learn someone is interested in me. I wonder if that's just a guy thing?
Psychotherapist Silva Neves explained to me in an interview that toxic masculinity poses a whole host of dangers both to men and to the people around them, specifically, to women. This is most commonly expressed through violence or the threat of violence.
“The main danger of toxic masculinity is that those men can be emotionally abusive and/or physically violent and sexually violent to women,” the expert told Bored Panda. However, that's just the tip of the iceberg.
#4
I am an elderly woman and it really really pisses me off when men that I don't know call me "Sweetie" or "Honey" or "Sweetheart." Dudes. Just don't. I am not your grandma with a dish of cookies for you.
Kyle D 4 years ago (edited)
I can't tell you how many times I've been called those names by women. Assuming no salacious motives by the men, it's just as demeaning for women to do it. So bottom line, strangers shouldn't call other strangers pet names.
cassiushumanmother 4 years ago
Or when a woman is calling a woman those names. My brain just scream "RUN, she wants to kill you!" when i hear it. It's like Honey=Bïtch, Sweetheart=Moron, Princess=I want to murder you in your sleep. lol At least this is how it works in my country.
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ベンジーBenji 4 years ago
The fact she says she is a elderly woman and then says "dudes" makes me smile. She sounds like a cool chick. Reminds me of when I heard my gma curse for the first time.. I was floored.. (I was mid 20s before I ever heard them curse)
Faith Hurst 4 years ago
I've been saying dude for all of my 50 years. It's one of those words that I overused as a teenager and it could mean 100 things depending on how you say it. I still use it and don't think I will suddenly stop when I get to a certain age. My students think it's hilarious. Someone does something, instantly realizes it was ridiculous, and I just look and say, "Dude".
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Malakai 4 years ago
This is a very common thing in the Southern US--it's culturally ingrained here and it's very common for us to refer to strangers this way especially if we're playing host in any format. It's considered endearing and more welcoming since it's less formal than saying 'sir' or 'ma'am', and meant as a gesture of 'you're in my house and I want you to feel at home while you're here'. Younger generations might not say it as often but older generations might say it frequently. It's not typically meant as a flirt or anything salacious or malicious--*typically*.
Donna Watt 4 years ago
This is a big NO for me. I once fired my cardiologist because he wouldn't stop this demeaning behavior. It infuriated my husband too; he felt like punching the doc in the nose.
Luther von Wolfen 4 years ago
In southern US, female convenience store clerks and servers call everyone "Hun", "Darlin'" or some such. This is 100% normal. Men should not respond with similar terms. I don't make the rules.
Katrina 4 years ago
This is why I could never live in the south. I'd be arrested for assault for punching people who call me that.
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Kathrine Allen 4 years ago
Or young men calling me "Young Lady" Not the least charming and just emphasizes that I am older.
Suzy the observer 4 years ago
I despise that. I'm 54, I've earned every wrinkle, every white hair and I'm proud of it. Youth is overidolized. I'd rather have wisdom.
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Emma Perkins 4 years ago
Don't use terms of endearment for people you aren't close to. I don't care if you're the little old lady dishing out sweetie or honey, it makes me feel weird. Even for those who don't mind it when you use terms of endearment on everyone you meet, it cheapens the meaning of the word anyways.
Hermien Greeff 4 years ago
Facebook Marketplace is the worst for this. Every second stranger starts the conversation with honey or sweetie. Lately, I do not have the energy to be polite and smile anymore, tell them it is inappropriate.
#5
When they tell me to smile. It used to make me really uncomfortable, but now I just grin manically at them.
Rae Reyn 4 years ago
Grin super wide and tip your head as far to one side as you can while maintaining eye contact. Works like a charm.
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Keely 4 years ago
I get this on the daily at my work. I always just keep a straight face, look directly into their souls and say "I am smiling." I never break eye contact. Then, sometimes I demand something equally as ridiculous. It's usually "start crying right now" or "take this pen and insert it into your mouth slowly". When they act confused or ask why, I say "I'm sorry, I thought we were demanding things of each other." I haven't been fired yet!
Tracy Wallick 4 years ago
I make them regret it, otherwise they'll just keep doing it to me or other women. "My mom just died, so I don't feel like smiling. Is that okay with you??" (100% of them back off)
Iva Kazalova 4 years ago
This legit drives me bonkers and i’ve nearly got into a fight - who da fuq are you to tell me to smile??? This makes me so enraged that where i was minding my own business daydreaming about this or other, you invaded my privacy and wasted my time to get me to succumb to what YOU WANT that i feel like punching you!
Laura Mortensen 4 years ago
I'm a generally smiley person, but one advantage of wearing a mask at work is customers can't quite tell when I'm not smiling. Some of them still notice when I roll my eyes.
Ivy la Sangrienta 4 years ago
I was in the metro yesterday and this little girl, a toddler, was staring at me. I smiled at her (while wearing a mask) and she smiled back; the cutest huge grin. Somehow she could see my smile. Such a cutie.
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#6
hi i know my comment will get lost but if you are over 18 and i make it clear to you that i am underage, do not continue to talk to me. please.
Demi Zwaan 4 years ago
I supposed they mean flirting? Because just having a normal conversation should be fine.
Ellie Rosser 4 years ago
Maybe. But if you’re a complete stranger (which you are if I have to tell you I’m underage) and you just sit there talking about cats and baseball that’s going to make most young women (and many young men) super uncomfortable. Especially if I tell you my age and you just keep talking. So even if you’re not a creep using ‘normal conversation’ to soften someone up you are still making the person uncomfortable and should stop.
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Mickey Sylvestre 4 years ago
I have friends of all ages. Believe it or not girl not every one wants to bed you.
Mo Poppins 4 years ago
I don't think it's an age thing. Creepy people come in all kinds of packages, and a lot of them are your peers. And some of the kindest, safest people will be strangers.What's key is that we're allowed/able to develop our INTUITION to be able to discern between safe & unsafe people. And we need to do better as a society to have safety nets for those who don't have anyone advocating for them. I don't understand why the OP thinks adults are inherently unsafe, because it's not like predatory types decide to become dangerous once they reach adulthood. They've ALWAYS been this way. It's one thing to have had negative experiences with the adults in your life, but to generalize that ALL adults are unsafe will actually create a false sense of security with one's peers, I think. It's a defense mechanism, and it's not a good metric.
CultOfBambi 4 years ago
A lot of harassment starts with 'just talking', so there's always the worry about what will happen next.
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Craig Reynolds 4 years ago
It defines whether your actions are considered by law enforcement as those of a creep or possible pedophile.
Load More Replies...“They can also be aggressive to gay people. They perpetuate toxic messages of masculinity so toxic masculinity is usually passed down to their children and peers maintaining the problems,” Silva said that toxic masculinity is a generational issue. Thus, we can’t expect any changes to happen overnight, but the sooner they start, the sooner society can start moving on a different, kinder and more peaceful, trajectory.
Meanwhile, according to psychotherapist Silva, the men who subscribe to the tenets of toxic masculinity can end up hurting themselves as well.
#7
Asking if I live alone. If there's already an established friendship, fine. But if you're a stranger or just an acquaintance, that freaks me out.
Viviane 4 years ago
"One of them is part lynx, the other thinks it's a jaguar, the other six think they're dogs and hunt as a pack, and they all think visitors are mice."
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Casey Payne 4 years ago
As a gay man I tell other guys I have roommates. Always roommates. You are never lying if you adjust what qualifies as roommates. Cats, dogs, birds, fish, rodents, bugs. Include the houseplants and any animal byproduct in your refrigerator. It could be a sparse concrete bunker, but there's 2 frozen chicken breasts in the fridge and they say that dude can't party with them. Bye.
Jane Alexander 4 years ago (edited)
In Peg Bracken s book on manners; "I Try to Behave Myself" she writes that the answer to any ipertinant questions is "Why do you ask?"
Chloe *Leah* Pheonix 4 years ago
No, I have a cane corso that has sharp teeth and a mouth bigger than my head! Wanna see? Oh, also, he doesnt like new people.
Donkey boi 4 years ago
Sometimes an innocent conversation piece, sometimes a killer trying to establish if they can murder you in the comfort of your own living room. Who wants to roll that dice?
Brandy Grote 4 years ago
I live with 3 huge black guys, 6 hispanic brothers, and 5 white guys, all part of a biker gang. And 2 of them are watching you rn....
StrawberryParfait 4 years ago
"What a rude question" is a proper response when someone who doesn't need to know your business wants to know your business. It's the only answer some people deserve.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
My one single friend says she lives with two guys: Smith & Wesson. In the US, that makes the point. (FYI, her "roommate" is actually named Mossberg.)
#8
Restricting my movement in any way. Pinning me in a corner, holding my wrist down, blocking my escape, etc...
Deborah B 4 years ago
The "casual lean against the door frame" preventing you from leaving the room, the "one arm braced against the wall" that means you can't push past without touching him, the "loungeing against your desk" that traps you in your cubical, the "holding the door for you" that blocks the doorway, the "shopping cart angled to block the aisle". Guys do it all the time, maybe without even noticing. It's not always threatening, but if he shows any interest in you as a woman, it imediately becomes uncomfortable, and you need to defuse a potentially dangerous situation. If you are at work, you typically need to do it without offending him, making a scene, or making yourself look bad to managers/colleagues.
Evil Little Thing 4 years ago
I duck and squeeze by while saying stuff like, "pardon me, coming through please". I put my hands out around me so if he moves any closer I can shove him away. It works surprisingly well.
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Aunt Messy 4 years ago
Someone did this to a friend once...and she shouted - in a full room, "Bad touch, bad touch!" ...///... She was a lot braver than I was.
Alexia 4 years ago
A few weeks ago I was relaxing on a bench, in a park nearby my house. It was midday. An old man (white hair, "grandpa" look) on a bike started encircling the bench, constantly staring at me. I tried to walk away but he followed me through the park. He cut in my way, stopping his bike exactly in front of me so as to make me side step. He kept cat calling me the whole time. I left the park and he followed me on the sidewalk, encirling me with his bike as I was walking. I was about about to call the emergency number, and I was ready to scream for help and to defend myself if needed. Thankfully he gave up. I got over it quickly, but this would have scared the heck out of me in my twenties. Disgusting and creepy.
LivingTheDream 4 years ago
Wtf? No man I know thinks this is ok. We all know that is controlling behavior.
Pink Floydian Panda 4 years ago
I agree. No normal, rationally thinking man could think that type of behavior would be ok. I can't even think of such a situation where it was inadvertent and you would not realize what you are doing is wrong. That must be terrifying. Women, do whatever you need to do to get out of a situation like that before it gets worse.
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cassiushumanmother 4 years ago
I hate to be touched, even by woman so i just go physical (let's get physical!but unike the song, in a bad way) and apologize "sorry, reflexes". Don't burst my bubble! I can't even stand when people are talking to you and they have to slap your shoulder or knees to make a point or get your attention. My ears are fine. Maybe it's a french thing but a lot of people are doing it and i hate it. I just slap back and watch their surprised face, except my 96yo grandmother because of her age, and it's a tough one she's very sharp, her elbow is going right between your ribs when she's making a point or a joke.
Daniel Laughlin 4 years ago
My grandmother used to walk up behind me when I was at the table and "massage" my shoulders with her pointy, pointy elbows.
Load More Replies... RoseAnne Hutchence 4 years ago
Just touching me, even on the arm or shoulder, is such an intrusion, and unwelcome; particularly from someone I don't know.
Ray Carrillo 4 years ago (edited)
I go the opposite way and try and go out of my way to not be an obstacle. I am not a small person. However I was called out by a woman who said to me hey I’m not that big you don’t have to move over so far.
#9
DMs
Hey
Hey
Hey
I’m not interested
F**k you, you stupid b****.
JennyLaRue 4 years ago
I stopped playing Words with Friends because I used to get this nonsense in the messages. I literally just wanted to play scrabble, the least sexy of games!
Iggy 4 years ago
I had to stop as well. The last straw was some random bloke asking questions about my genitals!
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Donkey boi 4 years ago
Why would you just send 'Hey'? What kind of idiot thinks that's a way to start a conversation? And you have to be a special kind of stupid to follow it up with another.
Chloe *Leah* Pheonix 4 years ago
I only say "Hey" when I wanna start a casual conversation with friends. If anyone that's not my friend or family texts me "hey".... it'll take weeks to clean up...
Load More Replies... Simzabandz 4 years ago
This is one of the most annoying things with these stupid online psychopaths!
Celtic Pirate Queen 4 years ago
Argh. My ex husband, trying to get me to have sex with him. Being all sweet & when I repeatedly said no, called me the "C" word. Yeah, that gets me hot.
Sharon McIlhargey 4 years ago
Yup! You want to play a game-they think YOU are game. Far from it.
Shawn Barry 3 years ago
that turnabout is the red flag of someone who's very emotionally immature, who feels entitled in some regard (entitled to enjoy the company of/sex with women). someone who has very poor adult social skills
“Toxic masculinity also harms the men themselves because repressing their own emotions so much can lead to mental health issues, depression, and even suicide,” he noted that the dangers are very real when men are unable to be vulnerable, open up to others, and ask for help. “Toxic masculinity harms everybody.”
#10
Saying, 'If I was x years younger... I was 15 and manning the cash register at my dad's store when this guy told me I 'brought back memories' of the women he met while he served in Vietnam. And he kept looking me up and down with a slobbery look on his face.
Charlotte 4 years ago
I think men often don't realize that this kind of behavior starts as soon as we start going through puberty. So yeah, every woman has been dealing with this s**t since she was around 12 years old, whether it's just a glance or indeed a disgusting comment. It's exhausting.
K Witmer 4 years ago
Yep. Getting catcalled at 11 while walking to the store for penny candy. Trying to hide when they turned the car around to follow me.
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Xottel 4 years ago (edited)
Sounds like: "If society wasn't against it, I'd totally go for you!". Gross.
cassiushumanmother 4 years ago
Same with "I have a daughter i don't mind", YEAH SURE. Once i was 15 and was sleeping at some family friends home, and like a lot of teenagers i was still sleeping by 11. Their 50yo neighbor and a friend coming for lunch took me out of my bed, taking my hands and feet to throw me in the pool. I was shouting: I M NAKED!PUT ME DOWN! and the neighbor said "i don't care!i have a daughter!" and they took me naked in front of everyone to throw me in the pool. I was furious but my mother was even more furious.
Diana Strassburg 4 years ago
I was at the same age around 15 when a friend of my Dad noticed I "was blooming". Just gross.
ThatOneWriter 4 years ago
So OP got hit with fetishization for both race AND youth. Double gross! Seriously, why do people think saying this kind of stuff to women is okay?!
#11
If you keep going on about how much you respect women, you probably don't respect women.
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
You meant to write “pretend to respect”, right?
Load More Replies... John Montgomery 4 years ago
Wouldn't this be true for a lot of things? If you to say you have a certain virtue, you probably don't have it. Using "Christian morals" as a way to spew hate seems like a perfect example.
Luther von Wolfen 4 years ago
Similar to the Glenn Beck Paradox: The more someone insists they're not racist, the more racist they are.
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago (edited)
Or if you keep going on about what a nice guy you are, you’re not a nice guy. Legitimate nice guys don’t have to advertise the fact. And don’t take a guy’s word for it that his buddy is one of the nice guys. Unless he’s extremely woke—-a rarity, sadly—-he will have zero clue whether his bro is also woke, and qualifies as a legit nice guy. Let me put it this way: If the boss points someone out and sings their praises as “a great person, straight arrow, will do anything for you”, WATCH OUT! That “great person” will most likely be a backstabbing SOB who is only nice to someone—-you know, like the boss who sang their praises—-if it will benefit them, We’ve all known, and/or worked with, that person. So, substitute bro for boss, and career for conquests, and you’ll see what I mean.
ROSESARERED 1 year ago (edited)
Or I'm a nice guy, yeh sure, the real nice guys don't have to advertise it
#12
Talking badly about their ex and their kids. I'm a single middle age woman. I don't know what's going on with some Men but a lot of them regret having kids and are mad about having to give money to their ex to raise them.
I'm not talking about unreasonable amount of money but for exemple 100$ for 2 kids at the beginning of a school year. And of course their ex is crazy for asking for it. "She's the one who wanted kids.." Some have complained about having to spend time with them.
Why are they telling me this? We just met. It makes them seems so mean and cheap. If you don't want kids get a vasectomy.
PrincessPatton 4 years ago (edited)
It is bullsh*t when men say "She's the one who wanted kids, not me", but they have unprotected sex and refuse condoms and vasectomy. When you are a man and sure you don't want kids, use condom everytime or get vasectomy.
Thorfin Wolfsbane 4 years ago
that's what i did and i am happy to report i am child free and blissful as can be
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I want cake 4 years ago
This is why you talk about the future when you consider getting serious with someone. I'm not saying bring up (not) wanting children on the first or second date, but talk about it early enough that you can choose to walk away before you get too invested if it turns out your plans for the future don't align at all.
NJWanderer 4 years ago
A guy like this is doing you a favor, why are you listening? Once he or she reveals her anger with shared responsibility for creating a life, you know it is all about THEM. Look for an exit.
Simzabandz 4 years ago
Complaining about your ex is one, KIDS!!!! KIDS DUDE!!!! WTF!!!! That is why you're not with your baby mama and probably getting no 2nd dates because your kids are 1st before everything!!!!
loretta hines 4 years ago
No wonder the world is in such a mess, we don’t communicate and be honest with ourselves or partners. The victims in this is children not having two people who wanted them, care for them and love them and help raise them to grow up to be responsible people who also know how to communicate. Even if the relationship between the parents ends you can still co-parent and aim for the best for all involved.
Miguel justino C 4 years ago
I’m a Father of an adopted son. I will kill that POS if he ever tries too be involved after signing away all parental rights. Give some of us credit! Damn
Suzy the observer 4 years ago
You sound like the true dad that you are. Kudos.
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Aleksa Boo 4 years ago
in most countries, vasectomy is only legal if you already have one child. just for your concern.
#13
Gay men who grope you and excuse it by saying, 'It's OK — I'm gay! I'm not attracted to women at all!' Keep your f**king hands to yourself, then!
JennyLaRue 4 years ago
I used to have a friend that thought it was funny to pull my top and bra down in public places, on the basis that 'it's funny as he doesn't care about my boobs'. Not a friend anymore
Norah Reilly 4 years ago
It sounds like your "friend" needs extensive therapy to address his misogyny issues.
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Viviane 4 years ago
You totally have to right to tell them to cut it out.
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Analyn Lahr 4 years ago
I've heard of straight guys pretending to be gay so they could do this.
chrissy goodman 4 years ago
i have a friend who would do this tell the girls hes gay so its ok they calm down all while im standing there wondering if i should tell these girls hes actually straight and just wanted a handful of boobs. took me 3 years to finally say something. he never did it to me cuz he knows id kick his ass
Anna McHugh 4 years ago
On a slightly different note, straight guys who pretend to be gay to get close to girls and then reveal that they're not. I knew a guy like this at uni and it was really creepy.
Luke Oakridge 4 years ago
Why would pretending to be gay help them get closer to women? Unless these women already had a bias against straight men. In which case they aren't good women to get to know anyway.
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#14
'Daring' me to kiss my girlfriend in front of them to 'prove' I'm really a lesbian. Disgusting.
Viviane 4 years ago
They absolutely do not care if she's a lesbian. They're just trying to get their rocks off.
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Neil Bidle 4 years ago
This sounds more like the behaviour of boys, not men. Unfortunately, some "boys" still haven't grown up by 40
MizAdeleM 4 years ago
When I was in my 20s, I would go out with friends to a straight bar for a night out. I wore a gold band on my ring finger that I called my "creep ring", as it was easier to tell a guy that I was married rather than say that I was a lesbian (no gay marriage back then). When some persisted after finding out that I was "married", I would get a starry-eyed look and say, "It will be two months next Tuesday!". Damn, she's a new bride, I don't stand a chance.
SydneyP 4 years ago
I’ve had similar experiences. I have had men offer me money to be intimate with my partner in front of them and I’ve been asked to let them join in. I have also been told “you just haven’t had the RIGHT one” (meaning their mini me between their legs) and it’s utterly disrespectful and pathetic. I’m not a lesbian for a males pleasure nor am I missing out on the “right one” because I don’t want ANY of them! Why can’t some men just understand that there’s women in this world who really would not enjoy sex with them?! I don’t need to prove I’m a lesbian nor do I need anyone telling me how I’m supposed to feel. I’m good. Most men are pretty cool though and are more than respectful. There’s just those select few who have to prove what “men” they are 🙄
blugeagua 4 years ago (edited)
Please tell me that when it comes to all of those men who have said those things to you, that you told all of them off and that they are wrong and that all lesbians don't want men at all and would not enjoy sex with them at all. I really hope you did because those types of men are absolutely gross and they all desperately need to be told off.
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WhatEvenIsLife 4 years ago
Back when I was young and unbearably naive, I told a guy hitting on me that my friend and I (she was standing right next to me) were lesbians, because I thought it would make him leave me alone. Yeah, he offered us $100 to have a threesome with him.
blugeagua 4 years ago
I really hope you told him off and that lesbians are not interested in men at all. What a horrible douche he was!
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#15
It has happened more than once where it came up in casual conversation that i don't wan't kids and some guy tries to change my mind as if it's any of his business
Purr Fleurkins 4 years ago
Agreed 100%. As a woman who's childless-by-choice, it's other women who have hassled me the most on this topic. How insulting that you think I don't know my own mind.
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Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
Oh women do this too. The old " you will change your mind" or "well when they are yours it's different" crap.
Marianne 4 years ago
Imagine living in a world where a woman can make her own decision about procreation and people just ... accept it.
ToGo 4 years ago
"BuT wOmEn Do It ToO" No one is saying any one of them are restricted to men. You get creepy, intrusive people from both genders. These women are just talking about their personal experiences.
Miss Milinky 4 years ago
Got told this by multiple male coworkers every week for the first 3 years I worked at a company. "You'll change your mind" - "That clock will start ticking soon" - "you'd be a great mum" - "Whats wrong with your fella if he hasn't got you pregnant" - "that childfree attitude is a phase" - "Kids are Great (normally followed by moaning about how they have nothing in common with their wives anymore, and generally working as late as possible)" - it was miserable.
Viviane 4 years ago
At one company, I implied that I was going to have kids... some day... discussing it... whatever. All lies. Who's going to check?
Load More Replies... An Co 4 years ago
Thats not about dating, restricted to men, etc. It's purely cultural. Often religious culture. Try responding "Yeah, but I do not want to pass on the genetic predisposition to violence. It's hard enough to control myself when I look at you."
Lena Flising 1 year ago
Sometimes I'm relatively pleased that I was not able to have kids; no discussions like this can occur. Other times I'm sad that I wasn't able to have kids. (I do know that I didn't BURN for parenthood enough, to endure the hardship of adoption or fertility treatments.)
#16
My wife had a boss that would come up behind the women and give them shoulder massages. Not cool, dude.
KC Lancaster 4 years ago
I was "let go" from job when I spoke up about unwanted shoulder "massage" by the Manager (we didn't have HR). In 2000 I worked for a souvenir company drawing logos and images for clients to be placed on items sold in gift shops. One of the owners, an older man (phlegmy cigar smoker who gave everyone the creeps), came up behind me as I was drawing. You could hear this guy a mile away so I wasn't shocked, and he had done this before, so I wasn't surprised - but I was done with the unwanted touching. I'm a survivor of sexual violence, as the Manager (a woman) knew and I stood up and in a loud voice to him not to touch me. I wasn't as calm about it as I could have been, and he tried to push it off as innocuous. I was sent home for the day and within a week was let go because "business had slowed down and we need to adjust payroll". My attempts to follow channels with the State Labor Board and litigation proved useless. I still cringe when I think of that sleaze touching me.
Load More Replies... cassiushumanmother 4 years ago
I will give him a free ball massage, with my knee. "oh you didn't like it? It's a new relaxing technique from *any exotic country* "
Brandy Grote 4 years ago
I had a letter from the VA saying that due to my PTSD, I WILL attack if touched without permission. 😄
Katinka Min 4 years ago
Eww.... Seriously, just don't touch your employees, it's creepy as f*ck.
Orionpax75 4 years ago
He hasn't massaged the wrong one yet that's why!! My wife her boss would be drinking through a straw for 6 months!
lakitha tolbert 4 years ago
Guys!!! If she's not your wife, your gf, or a member of your family: DO NOT TOUCH THEM!!!!! (unless she initiates it, then of course, you have every right to refuse....)
#17
Saying, 'You're cute when you're angry.'
enby from hell 4 years ago
the cutest and most precious being in the universe when I remove your tounge so that you are unable to tell anyone else this belittling thing. It might be cute for s/o's but not if you're a stranger. STAHP.
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Angela B 4 years ago
I am a bit concerned at some of the responses here. I am in no way condoning the expression but I am really sad at some of the responses that would retaliate with physical violence. It is not okay to punch anybody in the face. It is not ok to remove someones tongue or to be happy to see them bleeding. Violence toward another human, regardless of their age or gender, is wrong. Downvotete me if you like but some of the responses and the number of upvotes to those responses makes me really sad.
Fiona E M 4 years ago
Yeah the comments are severe but just remember they're joking! I bet nobody would actually do that don’t worry
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Carrie DeHaven 4 years ago
I wish I could upvote this more than once. Like telling a woman to smile, it's prioritizing her attractiveness to men over her experiences. It reveals a complete lack of empathy.
CultOfBambi 4 years ago
'You might think differently when you're picking your teeth up off the floor."
Rainy Day Wolf 4 years ago
but what if you say "I know"... will they immediately insult you or will their brain just explode?
#18
I have a large tattoo on my shoulder, and I've had several men come up from behind and move my tank top strap and/or bra strap to see it better. In grocery stores and Lowe's of all places!
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
And many feel the need to say how they don't like women with tattoos or how we have ruined our bodies.
blugeagua 4 years ago
Exactly! It's like dude, our bodies are not for you!
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Jayne Kyra 4 years ago
"Oh, where else do you have tattoos?" is one of the creepiest things I heard. Also random men telling me how they don´t like women with tattoos. Like, why would I care what they like?
Aunt Messy 4 years ago
When they say that, answer, "Then why are you talking to me?"
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Kirsten Verbeek 4 years ago
This has the same energy as removing a hairtie for fun, I even had guys with the audacity to pull on the string of a closing at my back which almost let me lose my dress.
Lish 4 years ago
I have a full sleeve of very intricate script. I cannot count the amount of times men have forcibly grabbed my arm trying to read it. I told one in particular "it's there for me, not you.", to which he responded "If you're showing it off, you at least owe it to me to read it all"
John Topper 4 years ago
I find it astonishing and disturbing that this is a real problem. There have been plenty of times I asked a woman about a tattoo and 99% of the time they're happy to show me and tell me the story. Just snapping someone's bra to see it? My god ...
Emma Perkins 4 years ago
Any time a stranger touches you without your permission, they're giving you permission to punch them
Laura Watts 4 years ago
Wow have they never heard of consent someone does that to me their getting a slap
Stormapotamus 4 years ago
I recently had a guy come up to me, compliment my tattoos (I have sleeves and had a tank on) and proceeded to ask me if I had any other tattoos "in places we can't see." SO gross and creepy.
#19
Men in positions of power asking sexual questions or commenting on your body. I had one boss try to tell me if I did a certain work out it would help me lose some fat in my thighs and another casually ask me if I was quiet or a screamer. Yeah, that s**t ain't cool.
Just JoLynn 4 years ago
No, there's not really anyone to report to, HR works under the higher ups and will work to keep their job and not yours, and police won't do anything as no crime has been committed.
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Tamara Kroonen 4 years ago
Just smile and reply: Do you like your balls cooked or fried after I RIP THEM OFF YOUR GROINS!??!?! And smile again...
Mickey Sylvestre 4 years ago
I had a vice principal that was like that. Even called my father's place during the summer holidays to go swimming. I was really cute back then and very charming...looking back I was very lucky to stay aware of the pedophiles in the area.
Pam Wilson-Hallinan 4 years ago
Years ago during a job interview, this man asked me if I was planning on having children! Illegal question and I knew it. My whole expression changed from then on. I wouldn't want to work with anyone that felt that a future decision to have children would have a bearing on his decision to hire someone. This was during the 80's.
Deborah Clarke 4 years ago
'I'm quiet while responding to questions like that, but the men, you should hear their screams,' she answered with a dreamy smile.
#20
FOLLOWING ME FOR ANY DISTANCE! I was once followed TWENTY BLOCKS by a man trying to basically get me to go home with him. Mind you, I had my HEADPHONES in to make it clear I wasn’t listening (although they were off, I just do it so most creeps don’t approach) but my goodness he didn’t let up. I never even looked at him the whole time he followed me. He didn’t leave till I finally spotted a police officer and started walking in that direction. I even asked to be left alone, had my pepper spray in hand visible. Just kept calling me gorgeous, and asking if my boyfriend treated me right. Could he give me his number in case my BF did something bad? All ignored. PSA: it’s not ROMANTIC OR ATTRACTIVE to be STALKED any distance no matter how much tv or movies would lie and have you believe.
K Witmer 4 years ago
I saw a women scream at a guy for him to pay her bills and take care of her kids and marry her right then and there and to hand over his credit card she needed to buy a diamond ring while he was following her asking her out. It was so funny. He called her crazy and walked away
Renate Stargardt 4 years ago
On the way home from a pub, a guy (at least 6´4 tall) followed me. He always kept a good distance from me, but I was still more than nervous. My way home was almost a miles and he followed me non-stop. When we got to my street, I shouted at him ... that I didn't live alone and that he should stop following me. He stopped without a word and I went home. Then I watched from the living room window, as he walked into a house on my street. It turned out that he was a new neighbor, I didn't know yet. When I was in my driveway the next day, he came over and introduced himself ... and apologized for frightening me so much. One of the nicest guys I've ever met.
Lauren Caswell 4 years ago
Unrequited love is not meant to be, it's not a matter of changing the other person's mind or making it their problem. It just is what it is: unrequited
Missy Moo Moo 4 years ago
I've been followed home... twice. Different homes and far from the shops
Mickey Sylvestre 4 years ago
Before I had a car, whenever I was walking and girl or women was coming my way I would watch in utter confusion that they would avoid me like the plague. I started to wonder if it was me. But them I realized that they must get so many lewd people doing stupid s**t to them. I HATED walking behind them, and would always try to pass them so they didn't mistaken me for a stalker/rapist. F*****g HATED it.
Marie-Stephane Art 4 years ago
When I was younger I used to walk with a kitchen fork in my purse, and when a creep was bothering me (empathised in "when" not "if" which says a lot), I would slowly take my fork out, tell him that he has beautiful eyes and that I don't have any of that color, while pointing the fork toward his eye (with a crazy look about me too). Worked every time! He would call me crazy B*** though, while running away
Llama_flower93 4 years ago
Also, not blaming her just trying to help women be safe against evil men that shouldn't even exist.
Load More Replies... #21
Following women around continuing to try to talk to them when they've already made two attempts to end the conversation.
A guy next to me on a plane wouldn't stop talking to me, even after I put on headphones! Then, he tried to walk me to my connecting flight after I refused to give him my phone number. He only finally left when I went to the women's restroom.
Simzabandz 4 years ago
NO MEANS NO! If we keep thinking it means the opposite, we will find ourselves in serious trouble hey
Anna McHugh 4 years ago
I talk to guys like that. And if they're really lucky, I bring out my phone and start showing them cat photos. After the second or third photo, I have to call after their retreating back. Like, 'Where are you going? I was REALLY enjoying our conversation! I thought we had a moment! DIDN"T WE HAVE A MOMENT??'
WhatEvenIsLife 4 years ago
I was ignoring a guy on the bus who would not stop talking to me by very pointedly reading my book and not responding. He leaned closer and started reading aloud from my book. I got hit on a lot on the bus; not sure why that's a thing. Had one guy get mad at me when I didn't respond to him because I had headphones in. Telling them I was married usually had zero effect. After telling one guy, he would not stop talking about how disappointed he was, and told me he worked at a restaurant and could get me free food. I just... don't understand some people.
Mimi777 4 years ago (edited)
I’ve had this happen a few times at the gym. I have headphones in, they try to get my attention and I can see their mouth moving. I used to pull them out to hear what they were saying and they would try to make small talk to be flirty. Now I just put smile and point to my ears and continue working out. Even when I was on the treadmill I could barely breath and they would get on next to me and try to talk.
Katherine Boag 4 years ago
Not sure I'd have gone to the bathroom, what if he followed you in? So sad that we even have to think like this
#22
I've got curly hair, and I'm sick of men thinking they can just come grab a coil of it and pull it like a slinky spring! Don't touch my hair, and don't call me moody when I tell you to stop!
PrincessPatton 4 years ago
YES! I'm curly redhead and people (men in most cases) think it's OK touching my hair.
Jackie Nettleton 4 years ago
I think it’s the curly hair to be honest, I am a guy with curly/frizzy hair and the amount of people both men and women that reach out to feel my hair is crazy especially when they don’t even attempt to be polite and ask if they can, depending on how I’m feeling that day decides how I respond but it’s not a good feeling so I can only imagine how bay it must be for a lady to have random people come up and start touching you. I would like to add that I’m 6ft4’’ and large
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Wistiti 4 years ago
When i was younger, I develop a tick : You touch and I slap you. I became so good at it that people I get introduced to already knew about my "violent-tendencies". I didn't mind as it did the trick.
Craig Reynolds 4 years ago
Calling you moody is a gaslighting tactic. Tell him you have no time for a manchild's narcissistic crap and say it loudly if others are around.
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
Say it loudly and publicly, and out the creeps. Then watch them slink back and disappear under their rocks.
Pam Wilson-Hallinan 4 years ago
It's amazing that men STILL think they can say and do anything without repercussions!
Pumpkin Spice 4 years ago
Wavy-haired girl here. I have very thick hair, and people ask if they can touch it, in which case I give them a squirt of hand sanitizer and let them, or they touch without permission, I swat them away and hiss like a cat.
#23
Stop telling me how 'big' things are for a woman. 'That's a big truck for a little girl,' or even once when I was at Subway, this condescending prick said, 'That's a big sandwich...'
Charlotte 4 years ago
With a straight face: "Yes, same size as my huge d*ck." Works every time.
Mia Smith 4 years ago
I'm clearly of Asian descent, despite never being to Asia. Some years ago I moved across country to the town I live in now. A few months later I declined a date from a local and he clearly took the high road by telling everyone I am transgender from Thailand (to paraphrase his vulgar term). I took it in my stride and when asked I'd wink and say "yeah he got scared 'cause mine's bigger than his"
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Bettie-Jean Neal 4 years ago
I have a '55 Ford Fairlane and if I had a dollar for every time I heard one of two phrases... "that's a big and heavy car for such a little girl" or "does your husband know you took out his car?" Ugh!
Anita Rapp 4 years ago
I had one of the first SUVs and was asked why I wanted such a big truck. I said 'because I don't have a penis'.
Erik Granqvist 4 years ago
I hqve never understood the "that's a big truck..." thing. I mean, the truck has an engine, yes? You are not pushing it around, that is why the bloody engine is there. And it is, in some ways, easier to drive a big truck then a tiny car.
Tracy Pham 4 years ago
one of my son's friends once announced that women shouldn't drive big trucks, they were for men...yeah, ok buddy...
Rob Woodman 4 years ago
Although I do like one female I kinda know, petite with a full size lifted Dodge...and a chrome s*****m dangling from the trailer hitch. The last guy who said it was too big for her.
#24
Putting their hands on your thigh or back casually while talking to you. If I’m being friendly it’s not a signal for you to touch me. Far too many co-workers, creepy uncles, etc. find this ok!
Viviane 4 years ago (edited)
I found a technique that's been effective in the workplace: I tell the person, "Don't touch me", give them a quick second to be startled, then continue the conversation. Since I'm discussing work, they are unlikely to interrupt me to argue why they should touch me. There's always that weird inner sensation when I assert myself, but it's much better than the feelings I get if I let them continue touching me.
Donkey boi 4 years ago
I have a friend that does this. 'Don't touch me' then just carries on as if nothing happened. If they do it again (which doesn't happen too often), they get an assertive 'I SAID... Don't TOUCH me!'. Never known her to need a third reaction.
Load More Replies... DramaDoc 4 years ago
This is one of the many, many reasons I love Keanu Reeves: HE DOESN'T TOUCH. Google search 'Keanu Reeves posing with fans" 2_MAIN-Peo...7734ab.jpg 
SuzyG 4 years ago
My mother used to tell any of her male friends who ogled me that they would "lose any part of their bodies that touched me." And they would never be allowed in my presence again.
Viviane 4 years ago (edited)
I'm glad your mother was lioness. As a teenager, I retreated to the front stairs and yelled "He's a pig!" within earshot of my mother's friend. She was mortified and hushed me out the door. Problem solved, she never asked me to be friendly to him ever again.
Load More Replies... Hime 4 years ago
My boss used to walk up behind me and put her hand in the middle of my back and rub big oversized circles on my back while leaning over me. I kept pulling away and finally told her flat out to stop that and she reported me to HR as being insubordinate and rude to her. HR never said anything to me but they never reprimanded her either. Her boss used to ask me why I demanded she stop and all I ever said was because I don't like it. I think he was looking for a "good reason" and that wasn't good enough in his opinion. I would hear things from other people about how weird I was or over-sensitive about it.
Viviane 4 years ago
I wouldn't want anyone doing that to me other than my husband. Getting rubbed is not in your job description. Sounds like your boss needs a dog. For now, document what happened (how many times, when where, how you acted, what happened, etc.). If she's still doing it, it sounds like a case for sexual harassment. If not, document anyways in case of retaliation or she starts doing it again.
Load More Replies... Darla Middlebrook 4 years ago
I, once, had to say (loudly) to a man during a meeting to "take your hand off my knee". He told me to shush because (he said) "people are looking at you". I heard several ppl say (loud enough to be heard), "actually, we're looking at you". He moved to another table. And everyone at the new table moved their chairs away from him. That particular "professional" avoided me a meetings from then on.
Jennifer Gould 4 years ago
I am such an affectionate person once I am comfortable with someone BUT not unwelcomed touching especially someone you just met! It truly is creepy when someone puts their hand on my back, shoulder that doesn't know me. Not just men btw. I have had some women I have met that invade personal space before getting to know someone. Just creepy and I don't like it!
Rob Woodman 4 years ago
Lots of people are touchy though. Believe it or not, touching a persons back or putting a hand on a shoulder used to be a thing.
OBGYN KENOBI 4 years ago
I love to give hugs. I don't touch coworkers, especially their back or give shoulder rubs. This sounds like an excuse. It's not okay to touch people. People used to do a lot of things in the past, does not make it okay.
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Fee Hofmann 4 years ago
I used to just endure that when I was younger, nowadays I clearly state that I don't like to be touched. I've never been touchy-feely, so setting my boundaries in that regard was a big relief.
#25
Unsolicited d*ck pics.
“Smile!”
“Where’s my hug?”
“You’re too beautiful for all that makeup.”
Yelling anything at me from across the street.
Telling me I’m perfect during our first conversation - back off dude, you don’t know me.
Ancsuri 4 years ago
Once a dude sent me a pic where he was wearing a bra. I was so shocked, that I forgot to block him...in a minute he sent me the d*ck pic too. In that second I blocked him, but why do they do that. Nobody you dont know intimately is interested in such pictures.
Evil Little Thing 4 years ago
They do it because they get off on forcing themselves on you. It's sexual assault through phone.
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Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
I love it when I read that the women were able to forward the picture, plus the whole conversation, to the guys’ mothers. Talk about dropping a creep into a world of s**t!
Binxyminxem 4 years ago
I also like something I read that a woman who received a d*ck pic replied with an automated style message from the police saying the pic was going to be reported! It freaked the man out lol
Load More Replies... Brandy Grote 4 years ago
I love the "automated reply" where you say the number has been captured for violation of (some penal code about exposing to minors!) And they will be contacted by police/FBI at that number, etc. They get reeeal frantic, lol
Rus Kus 4 years ago
I got a dickpic a couple if weeks ago. Wrote back that I'm 12 and my mom doesn't allow me to use my own social media account so I'm using hers. Replied to the pic and asked "why your finger is so swollen? Did you hurt it?". The guy immediately deleted all pics and videos (yup, he sent videos as well) and blocked me. Hopefully he got scared enough to think twice before sending such stuff to strangers next time
Craig Reynolds 4 years ago
Check your state's laws on "sexting". Many states now have laws against sending unsolicited nude or pornographic photos. If your state has such a law, use it. Do not hesitate to report them.
Inge van Echelpoel 4 years ago
Why do men send pics like that anyway? 😕 it's not like we gonna answer nice sausage bro
Aryan Aryan 4 years ago
The old movie "Pink Cadillac" has the perfect answer. Send back "Looks like a penis, only smaller".
#26
Catcalling. Like, WTF. In what world is someone gonna turn around and be appreciative instead of creeped the f**k out?
Rosidah Yahya 4 years ago
make me wish, every teenage boys on this planet take a special education class tht teach them how to respect others esp.ly women so tht when they grow up, they will be mature and understanding man , later they will teach their kids abt gud manners
v 4 years ago
What you miss in your statement is that the way boys turn out to be as men is directly related to their parents, including their mother.
Load More Replies... John Topper 4 years ago
For a long time I thought this should come across as a compliment (I never did it). She explained to me that it has nothing to do with flirting, it's a power thing. That's when I understood why women hate it so much.
Abbella DiNoto 4 years ago
The movies and tv need to stop showing woman being flattered that they got cat called…. Ugly Betty.. smiled huge and said “thank you” sex in the city etc etc. the list goes on!
Rainy Day Wolf 4 years ago
it's not meant to be a compliment, who ever says it is they are lying... it's meant to objectify you and make you inferior
Gretchen Esquilin 4 years ago
My mom told me once that when catcalled, "A true lady never looks. You're worth more than to be beckoned like a dog."
Katie Andrews 4 years ago
I stop dead in my tracks, stare at them, and say I BELONG HERE. THIS IS MY SPACE. SHUT THE HELL UP. Yep, violence is a possibility, but it feels so much better when I reclaim my dignity and shred theirs.
Spinstapink 1 year ago
I once turned towards a group of cat-calling men on the top of a building, and did several muscle-builder poses. They cheered.
Lena Flising 1 year ago
They ought to imagine that happening to them; a big burly bear of a gay man catcalling them. Would they find that nice, or frightening?
#27
Grabbing my wrists
It is a huge ultimate f**k no
TK 421 4 years ago
Back home a guy would find himself in the ER for something like this. The ladies are always armed with something capable of changing a predator’s mind
Anita Pickle 4 years ago
Good! I recently found out much of the world makes it a crime to protect yourself. You cannot even hold your keys between your fingers or buy pepper spray! They have laws that only hurt victims and make it easier for criminals to get away with things. So sad.
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Jesse Ferland 4 years ago
I used to be in Jiu-Jitsu. If someone grabs hold of your wrist, turn your wrist so the side of your wrist is at the point where the assailant's finger and thumb meet, and then yank your wrist out.
Chloe *Leah* Pheonix 4 years ago (edited)
If someone grabs your wrist, drop to the floor and if they dont also fall and let go, you have sharp canine teeth. Top and bottom jaw. Bite like you're biting into a really tough carrot. Or pick the coconuts.
Joel Hopkins 4 years ago
Aikido. More women should learn it. A wrist grab like that puts the grabber in a very vulnerable position. How do I know? My 62yo, 90lb woman Japanese Aikido instructor told me to stop being a p**sy and grab her wrist and don't be afraid of hurting her. She was right I grabbed full speed and full force on this woman and the next thing I knew my face was hitting the mat hard enough to knock the spit outta my mouth.
Kirsten Verbeek 4 years ago
And they wonder why women like long nails. I have often used them to defend myself by jamming them in their arm to force them to let go of me
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago (edited)
Even short nails can dig and scrape, and draw blood, if you sink them in hard enough. Been there, done that.
Load More Replies... #28
When guys pick me up. I've always been really skinny, so guys think it's OK to just...lift me.
cassiushumanmother 4 years ago
This happens a lot to me, i'm 34yo, last year a coworker in front of everybody(working in an homeless shelter). Another time i told the man (a friends accointance) to put me back on the ground or i'll punch him,told him several times, he didn't, i punched his nose so hard he bled and lost his hat, and while i was walking away he just threw me a huge footsweep by behind, i literally flew in the air and thanks i was wearing timberland boots because he could have broke my ankle. He was like 2m tall, 120kg, i'm less than 1,60m and 45kg. My friend made him apologize, apologize not accepted. Apparently he did it because i looked at him in the eyes while saying "hello", meaning for him that i was interested. YEAH! Now i look people in the a$$ while saying "hello", to avoid any misunderstanding. WTF is wrong with people?
DC 4 years ago
I'd do that. If your were unconscious and looked like you needed help, medical help. Otherwise, I don't really get how one can think that this is ok. Unless you know each other and know what is ok, and usually, then more is ok than with strangers, but then, again, what your friends are allowed to do with you, ... is something else than some stranger or so.
Sorican 4 years ago
you shouldn't move an unconscious person unless the site is dangerous. and if the site is dangerous, lifting them out exposes you to more danger. Can't save anybody if you're dead, too.
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Abbella DiNoto 4 years ago
Idiots think they are showing you how strong they are, showing their fitness.. they all think we care.
Emily Larsen 4 years ago
God my close friend likes to just randomly pick me up. he once grabbed me from around the bottom of my ass and picked me up. I told him not to do that because I have ptsd from my band teacher slapping my ass and my friend still does it. he also grabs my arms alot and says I have twigs for arms. just btw he has a girlfriend of almost 6 months and he still does this to me. no wonder she's insecure whenever he tells her he's gonna hang out with me
ZenChickChristine 4 years ago
I had a coworker who did that twice. First time I gave him a gentle “Ok, that’s funny but don’t do it again.” Second time I was much more terse in my response but still subdued because I didn’t want to deal with HR. On his third attempt I threw him and just kept walking. Whole team saw and was shocked as hell. I never suffered any repercussions and he left all the women on the team alone after that. For some perspective, I’m 5’4” and was about 115lbs at the time. He was 6’2” and about 270lbs. I used his own momentum against him. He didn’t know I competed in martial arts.
#29
Using my name on my credit card receipt at the gas station to look me up online and try to add me on various social media platforms shudder
Rus Kus 4 years ago
I had similar situations when people found my whatsapp or social media account to talk about work related issues. I mean they had my work phone and email which I was always available at. If my company doesn't want to buy your services during work days why should I say yes in my personal account on a Saturday? After several situations like this I decided never to be super polite or human (don't know how to phrase it better) to sales managers. Just "Hello. No. No. Again no. No. Bye" and I hate the idea that adding human emotions and polite phrases to work interactions may give people an idea to intrude.
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago (edited)
They should be arrested for this. It’s invasion of privacy, as it is assumed a business would respect a customer’s privacy, and never tolerate an employee doing something like this.
Demi Bagulio 4 years ago
I am a doctor. I had to change names on social media acc to stop patients to contact me in a very inappropriate way.
Requiem 4 years ago
Credit card company has nothing to do with a gas station cashier
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#30
“Why aren’t you married?” Asked randomly. I’m 34. My fiancé passed
Marianne 4 years ago
Well, tell them that your fiancé died and ask them if they like this answer and if they think it's a cool conversation topic.
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
No, because that opens up a whole new conversation for them to trap you in. “None of your goddamned business” is a much better reply.
Load More Replies... Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
My experience is older women are the worst for this but I live in Russia so I think it is a babushka thing. My elderly neighbor likes to regularly remind me I should be getting hitched
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
My mom, since my dad died, just says, "I'm a plainclothes nun". She's not, but it worked.
Lea S. 1 year ago
A nosy client once asked me when I was going to get married and have kids already. I'd taken a day off that week to attend the funeral and wake of my long term partner. Yes, we dreamt of curly haired little boys running around a backyard. The aggressive brain cancer took that away from us - ask the cancer why I don't have kids and a husband.
#31
Block an exit while trying to start a conversation. Just.don't do it EVER.
ROSESARERED 1 year ago
Swift kick in the nether regions and a new set of earlobes are on offer if someone dies that to me
Joanne Hudson 4 years ago
Approach with an underhand pitch type of movement that would end close to their crotch. Do it quickly but stop short.
#32
I had a friend who for a while would always respond to my comments re: being a woman and sexually harassed or ogled at with the story of how he was such a good guy he saved a girl from being raped at a frat party. I'm not sure if the exact scenario is common but when guys hear women talking about sexual harassment or assault and launch into the reasons why they're not that guy...it just makes me even more uncomfortable because someone who isn't that guy shouldn't have to say it every time you talk about sexual harassment.
Logic and Reason 4 years ago (edited)
A lot of men assume they will be construed as “that guy” unless they say otherwise. Not speaking for myself here, and I’m not claiming that it’s a correct assumption.
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
If they are worried then they shouldn't behave like that guy. Usually men who have to say they aren't that guy are, in fact, that guy
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Rainy Day Wolf 4 years ago
congrats on being a decent human, for doing the bare minimum... do you want a parade for not r*ping women?
Luke Oakridge 4 years ago
There are a lot of women who wouldn't necessarily intervene if they saw a drunk girl being taken away to be raped at a frat party. It is somewhat uncommon for people to step up and intervene.
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Bad puns and finger guns 4 years ago
If you don’t see yourself in the situation, don’t insert yourself @“not all men”
Luke Oakridge 4 years ago
He wasn't inserting himself. He was just giving an example of him trying to stop it. He wasn't just saying that he wouldn't assault someone. I think this woman is misinterpreting the comments on her post.
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Luke Oakridge 4 years ago
Her complaint doesn't make sense. He isn't saying he "isn't that guy". He's saying he is actively working to stop OTHER men from being "that guy". Those are not the same thing.
#33
Since I got pregnant I've had more male friends think it's acceptable to call me a 'MILF,' especially at inappropriate times...like in front of my mom
K Witmer 4 years ago
When I was pregnant I got hit on so much. I thought for sure men would leave me alone. Nope it brought out a whole different kind of aggressive creepiness
ThatOneWriter 4 years ago
OMG same! I worked in a public-facing civil service job and the bosses had to move me in the back because the creepers would hit on me so aggressively it made not only me but my coworkers and other customers uncomfortable. After they moved me some of the creepers would come up asking for me to come out and help with their accounts. Me specifically 🤮
Load More Replies... Thorfin Wolfsbane 4 years ago
a good friend of mine said her waiter once called her a MILF; and she said it made her day
Rainy Day Wolf 4 years ago
so you want to f*ck me because I'm a mother?... say it loud so people look at them, specially your mom
Ka Se 4 years ago
If anybody wonder wah it means: "Mom I'd Like to F****" . Very inappropriate
Requiem 4 years ago
A lot of women call them selves that. even GILF now when their 42 and grandma. Ive only just heard DILF
Load More Replies... Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
I hope you and your mother call them out—-loudly and publicly—for it!
Lena Flising 1 year ago
"That's a premature exclamation. I'm not a mother YET!" (Or use "ej*c*lation" if you dare, it also means exclamation.)
#34
Saying anything along the lines of 'you’re perfect' within minutes of meeting.
Dynein 4 years ago
If you think I'm perfect when you barely know me, you either lack experience from never having had a closer relationship with anyone (red flag), or you think that women are superficial creatures with no personal, individual depth to learn about (also red flag).
Lauren Caswell 4 years ago
Ooh I often get perfect followed by are you god fearing? No dude I'm not scared of god if he's real, but ur scaring the s**t out of me!
Load More Replies... Donkey boi 4 years ago
Yeah, that's more of a 'when you discover she reads Harry Potter while listening to rock music and love pasta' moment!
Rugchairclockdog 4 years ago
That's only ok if it's someone meeting their chid after being born
Ana Jovanovic 4 years ago
And following that with "all the other women I know are crazy, horrible, bitches (insert any slur)
Mariette Ferreira 4 years ago
I was once invited over to hangout with a guy I met at a friend's house. I went over and he was just finishing up something, saying "you're already like family. Get yourself a drink, I'll be done in a sec" "family?" I didn't really see him again after that - the fake intimacy really bothered me in that. This was the first time we were spending any time alone together.
#35
When you get messages like "hi hun 💕😘" in a business setting. I draw for a living and regularly get guys messaging me under the guise that they want to commission something, when it's really just an excuse to get closer to me. This will sound blunt and b*tchy, but I don't want you. I want your money. You commissioning, or not? Alright stop wasting my time, thank you!
Luke Oakridge 4 years ago
In the South, women will refer to others as "hun" or "Sweetie" regardless of the situation. So it isn't something that comes mainly from men.
Ralph MALPH 4 years ago
Saying "This is what I do for a living" is not bitchy-- it is professional.
Rugchairclockdog 4 years ago
I'm from Baltimore and hun is used a lot there to everybody from everyone
#36
Constantly pushing for a date after saying we aren’t interested. Like a high school boy having a crush and the girl saying “I just like you as a friend...” and they keep pushing like she’ll fall in love. Sorry that’s just a fairytale. Please stop after we say we don’t like you. No hard feelings! We just don’t want to date you.
Marianne 4 years ago
A part of this problem is the movie industry giving men a false impression of how this works.
Shan Kissdani 4 years ago
Absolutely. In the movies, the men who approach always get the girl. But then again, if women do not want men to approach them, then will they approach the men?
Load More Replies... Lauren Caswell 4 years ago
Ugh and then you see posts from idiotic women saying "if he loves you, he'll email you if you block him on messenger" it's just so wrong. It's a horrible way to treat anyone, and it perpetuates this toxic thinking that 'no means yes you just have to try harder'. No means No, and anyone who can't see that is harmful/misguided and deluded
Shawn Barry 3 years ago
that mentality comes from video games. 'ya failed to win the princess, respawn and try again'. and so they eventually win/rescue the princess. I bet most boys are unaware they've just been programmed
Randy Klefbeck 4 years ago
Life is not like a romantic comedy. Hallmark channel is no measure of friggen life.
Pam Wilson-Hallinan 4 years ago
I have a ex boyfriend that keeps asking me for sex. We broke up 6 months ago and I'm dating someone else. What bothers me even more is that he knows I'm dating someone else and for some reason thinks me cheating with him is ok. NO respect for me at all. Which is why I broke up with him.
#37
Don't ask me for nudes within like...a week of meeting me and going on one date. The level of trust I'd have to have in order to share photos like that is phenomenal! And I may never ever want to anyway. How does a guy think it's just a casual thing to ask of me? It might be a turn on for you but it's highly risky and it makes me feel like I'm just there as a bit of titillation on his phone and not a real human being who he sees as equal and respected.
JennyLaRue 4 years ago
Or just don't ask for nudes full stop. You don't know where they'll end up once they've been sent
Nikki Sevven 4 years ago
We all know where they'll end up...on the Internet.
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Shelli Aderman 4 years ago
Why do people still take naked pictures of themselves on their phones? Have you not seen enough movies? IT ONLY EVER GOES BAD! 🤣🤦🏽♀️
Honu 4 years ago
Not just movies. There are plenty of real life examples of revenge porn. Sometimes it's not even the person someone sent the nudes to. Techs working on your phone or your computer, hacks of cloud storage.
Load More Replies... Donkey boi 4 years ago
Been with my wife for nearly 2 decades, never once asked her for nudes. The way I see it, if a woman is comfortable with things like that, she'll do it as a 'naughty surprise' when she's ready. If she's not comfortable this that kind of thing, you shouldn't make her uncomfortable by asking. So... don't ask!
Bumblebee 4 years ago
Same here. I am the woman in the relationship though. I would NEVER take naked pictures and send them to my husband, or just even have them on my phone. Neither would I let him take a picture of me naked. What? Both scenarios not even in my underwear! No matter how much you love and trust someone, you'll never know what happens in the future. With the marriage/relationship AND the pictures. I trust him with my life, but would never have pictures like that of me.. I have seen too many situations gone wrong. Real life, documentaries and movies. Just a huge NO-NO!
Load More Replies... Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago (edited)
Real multi-dimensional women are not like the vacuous one-dimensional women in male fantasy porn. But that’s what many men seem to base their knowledge on, for some reason. I mean, I know for a fact that the perfect Prince Charming doesn’t exist, and that I—-like all women—-have to base my knowledge and understanding of people on reality, not make believe. So why can’t men do the same? (Aaaand cue the “but I’m a nice guy” comments in 3…2…1.)
StrawberryParfait 4 years ago
Don't take nudes, and don't send them. It never ends well. If a man wants to see you naked then he can invest in a real relationship with you.
Marilyn Holt 4 years ago
What???????? Knowing what we know now about social media, why would anyone consider posting a nude photo to anyone ever anywhere anytime?
Gabby M 4 years ago
Ya Marilyn I agree totally BUT each generation brings with....their own stupidity and lack of common sense.
Load More Replies... Ivy la Sangrienta 4 years ago
I would never take naked pics of myself let alone send any. If they don't end up online someone could hack my phone or cloud. Not worth it.
Lynn Morello 4 years ago
Gosh, I have been married twice and living with my man now for 37 years, and I have NEVER allowed ANY Nude Photo's. Nor his or mine.
#38
When I am walking down the sidewalk, follow me slowly in a car while trying to talk to me. I f**king hate this.
TK 421 4 years ago
Take out your phone, dial 911 (or the appropriate number for emergency services in your area), put it on speakerphone, and have a loud and clear conversation with the authorities while showing the face of the phone to the predator. No one has ever been punished for being afraid.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Unfortunately, yes, they have, but it tends to be a huge PR nightmare. We had a case near me a decade ago where cops didn't ID themselves, so the girl took off and called 911, and she was arrested for evading arrest. She eventually won the lawsuit, her charges were dropped, and the agency looked realllllllly stupid. As theys hould have. They wanted to arrest her for buying beer underage, and didn't look and realize she'd bought fizzy water.
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Susan Trevaskis-Owen 4 years ago
Not that anyone should *have* to do this, but if you walk against traffic it's harder for them to follow you. Learned that in elementary school, part of the whole "stranger danger" thing.
Kimberley Gayle Thomas 4 years ago
I start walking in the opposite direction when I'm followed by a car. One jerk went so far as to drive backward. But when another car showed up behind him, he had no choice but to find someone else to creep on.
Trisha Chase 4 years ago
This happens to me a lot when I travel abroad, it's frustrating and creepy.
Pamela Blue 4 years ago
That's because so many Roman boys still live with their mamas. They're not under any illusions that their mama won't protect them against "designing" women.
Load More Replies... Jane Alexander 4 years ago
Without interupting your conversation you could take a step back and make a show of interest in their licence plate. they may decide to leave. If not maybe go in a building a get help.
#39
Messaging me late at night to tell me to 'go to bed.'
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
I started blocking people who think they can infantilize me. And I know they think it's just being caring but it is super controlling and treating me as less than an equal
K Witmer 4 years ago
This one guy I gave my number to bc I thought he was nice but I was wrong would message me Hey Snob in an attempt to get me to talk to him after I told him to leave me alone. He proceeded for the next year to track me down on all my SM and message me the exact same thing over and over.
StrawberryParfait 4 years ago
Any text from a dude you aren't already in a relationship with is just a dude looking to line up some late-night ass. Don't respond.
Keyy 4 years ago
hmm i usually get a cute response when i do this .. but maybe i'll stop i didn't think of it as infantizing someone
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
I have a friend named Tony who tells me to go to bed when he sees I'm still up past my bedtime. He knows I have difficulties doing things myself, so he helps out as much as possible. So, he checks up every so often, making sure I'm okay and that I'm getting enough sleep. That dude's saved my life once with those "go to bed" texts.
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Emily Larsen 4 years ago
my ex did that. he was a good guy and he only did it cuz I have insomnia and he was worried about my sleep
enzO denA 4 years ago
That was reasonable. It would be creepy if it was from someone who barely knows us.
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Stacy s 4 years ago
I'm a little confused on this one, I guess I need context? Prior to co-hab my BF did that - but I also talked a lit about how I had sleep issues and needed to make myself go to bed earlier. (And i would randomly txt him 'drink water!' because that was a goal. I can't think of any other reason someone would text 'go to bed'. ?
Kristen Bagan 4 years ago
I think in a flirtatious way. Like trying to be cute, often as a conversation "starter" when they see you're online.
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Katherine Boag 4 years ago
Idm between good friends, i do it to them too. Casual acquaintances or strangers no thx
#40
Asking, 'Where's my hug?'
Stephen Nichols 4 years ago
I only hug two women that aren't my family. My best friend and a woman in my office whose Christmas jumper says "it's Christmas, give me a hug" and if it's written on a Christmas jumper, it's the law and I have to!
Missy Moo Moo 4 years ago
As opposed to "can I give you a hug?" which I love. I have the ability to say yes or no. It's called consent, and it's so easy!!
Evelyn Haskins 4 years ago
THAT is creepy :-( Definitely not. IF you have to ask it is definiley NO, Only good friends who know you well should ever try to hug you. Favourite sisters, brothers, parents and grandparents.
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#41
When they walk behind you they either touch your lower back or give your shoulders a squeeze. Those things are only okay for my husband to do. No one else. It isn’t cute or endearing. It’s extremely uncomfortable to deal with and makes women avoid you or cringe when you’re near.
Alison O'Connor 4 years ago
I hate this guys at work are always doing this to me, its so annoying and I really dont like been touched in general until its my wife!
Luther von Wolfen 4 years ago
Women do the casual touch thing to me more than men. I used to feel awkward about it, but I've gotten better about saying "Don't touch me."
Sky Render 4 years ago
Try that with me and you're liable to get a reflexive sucker punch. Hypersensitivity is fun!
Neil Bidle 4 years ago
My wife would disagree, she doesn't think that's ok for her husband (me, obviously) to do either 🤦
#42
Guys who try to assert their dominance by crushing your hand while shaking it. I have arthritis and it is excruciatingly painful.
Kelly Johnson 4 years ago
My school headmaster did this, he would just grab your hand (already having met you) whenever he wanted and squeeze it and grind your bones together. He was terrible and creepy.
Isabel Care 4 years ago
And when you refuse to shake hands, they grab your hand anyway. Then they wonder why they are on the floor crying.
Aunt Messy 4 years ago
I have mild arthritis. I don't shake hands. I say it out loud, too. I don't care who it is - I don't care if it's the King of all the Popes. I don't shake hands.
Andi 4 years ago
i'm with you on this totally. I'm a big man and for some reason some men like to try and dominate by trying to crush your hand on first meeting. So now I just wince loudly, maybe bend at the knee slightly and say ' oi that hurts'.. no one expects it and its great to see their confused faces ...
Vetus Vespertilio 4 years ago
I spent 35 years as a purchasing agent, meeting sales reps nearly every day. The number of men who tried to break my fingers just baffled me. Like, dude, I’m the person who says whether or not you get the order. Why make me think you’re a jerk?
Daniel Marsh 4 years ago
Some guys have been taught that a handshake should always be "firm" and had it demonstrated to them with a bone-crushing shake. Otherwise, it's not "manly" or trustworthy.
Donkey boi 4 years ago
Men do this to men too. It's pathetic! We had a guy from head office come over. I was out of the clinic in the morning and one of the Women I worked with called me at lunch, told me that he damn near broke our receptionist's hand (major bruising) then laughed about it saying, 'Oh yes, I have a very firm handshake!' I look after my team, so I came in and met the guy, when he gripped my I could feel him trying to say 'I'm powerful, I'm dominant, I'm in control!', so when I popped his knuckle and dislocated his finger... I could only respond with 'Oh, ha ha, yes! I have a very firm handshake.' I was suspended for a while, but it was worth every unpaid day off.
John Topper 4 years ago
This is a well known thing. It's called "the vice" and it's an aggressive power play. Huge red flag of someone's personality. Even worse is when they grab too early and just end up clamping down on your fingers so you can't even squeeze back. The book The Ultimate Guide to Body Language has an entire chapter dedicated to handshakes that everyone should read.
#43
I f**king HATE when a guy walks behind me if they’re trying to get by how they put their hand on my lower back. I don’t know you, please don’t touch me, it’s pretty simple. It happens all. The. Time.
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
If they can open their mouths to say unacceptable creepy s**t, they can also open them to say the highly acceptable “Excuse me, I need to get by” when they need to go past you.
Amy Dodds 4 years ago
Aso-f*****g-lutely. They wouldn't touch a dude to get past. Dont touch me.
Rob Woodman 4 years ago
I do. Especially if I don’t get a reaction from saying excuse me.
Load More Replies... Bob Knob 4 years ago
Hand on the waist, WAY too close so you get the d*ck brush against my butt. I'm 6' so my butt is usually d*ck high and they just love to get the free rub. Complete strangers have done this to me in bars, the grocery store, a teacher in high school etc. It's assault. Period.
Deborah B 4 years ago
Either they do as an excuse to touch you, which is gross and inappropriate, or they're gently pushing you out the way, which is very disrespectful of you as a person, and inappropriate. Please guys, just say "Excuse me, please, may I get past?"
chuck.dont.surf 4 years ago
There's no "either," if it was a dude they would not touch them in the same place. Touch someone on the arm or say "excuse me," it's not hard
Load More Replies... Dillon Hughes 4 years ago
No not all the time at all. Only time I have ever seen or done it is in a tight loud place. Say excuse me make contact and move along. Nothing rude or creepy. Men and women have done it to me and I to women and men.
#44
What I get from all of this is: Actually tell someone if you're trying to pass them but keep your bloody hands to yourself. Acknowledge their existence if caught at an intersection, but don't flirt or be rude. Talk about things of interest or importance. If she's not interested, accept it as fact and drop it. This is not to say disregard the relationship/friendship, just don't pressure for more. Dick Pics are rarely okay. And even when requested should be met with healthy skepticism. Do not assume physical contact within a relationship. If you're making them uncomfortable, apologize. Am I missing anything of importance? Please note these are things I've tried to do myself. Though I still struggle with self-confidence/esteem and always feel as though I'm being too clingy or creepy even when I'm actively trying not to be.
Kirsten Verbeek 4 years ago
If you are not sure if something is okay to do or say, just imagine a random dude saying it to your (imaginary) daughter
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
Or just don’t do it, as the uncertainty is a sign your subconscious knows it’s a bad idea.
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Miraculous Klutz 4 years ago
I’ve found it works to collect the pics, so every time a creep sends one to me they get one in return!
just me 4 years ago
I'd like to add to one: If you're making them uncomfortable apologize even if you didn't realize or it wasn't on purpose. Then let it drop. I work with kids that have trouble understanding you apologize for harming someone accidentally and am seeing this in adults as well. If you keep apologizing over and over it feels less sincere and can become very uncomfortable. Just change whatever behavior was creeping me out, explain something if needed. And if you can't/won't change the behavior that's cool, I just don't want you around me then.
#45
Demand I smile.
#46
Honking, yelling or any form of catcalling while I'm running or even just walking down the street.
Chrissy Neibarger 4 years ago
When has this EVER worked? Men have been doing this for ages and I can guarantee no woman has been appreciative!
WhatEvenIsLife 4 years ago
I've had more than one man tell me that I would miss it when I stopped getting catcalled. Well, I'm now 38 and get catcalled way less than I used to, and I do not f*cking miss it. At all.
Pumpkin Spice 4 years ago
When someone honks, I look them dead in the eye and act like a turkey. I'm talking gobbles, screeches, the turkey run, EVERYTHING. Be the turkey.
Shelli Aderman 4 years ago
Is there ANY evidence in the history of the EARTH, where a woman turned around and said, “Oh, wow! Why YES, I’d LOVE to go on a date with you!” After being catcalled? Do men not realize that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results? 🤦🏽♀️
#47
This will probably be buried but when guys hug you and push your upper back into them so your boobs press into their chest. The guys that super duper creep me out is when they push multiple times. And it’s usually the old guys that do this. Ugh! I know what you’re doing, jackass.
Isabel Care 4 years ago
That's when my knee jerk reaction cuts in. I knee the jerk in the off switch
Dillon Hughes 4 years ago
I hate how auumption is always negative. Be positive maybe they like hugging! You don't know just assume the worst. They didn't do anything wrong and now your talking trash
Rob Woodman 4 years ago
Other than with my gf, hugs are disgusting. Why would anyone want to get that close to someone anyway.
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
I adore hugs and hugging, I've never had a negative experience when hugging. Unless you count nearly being squeezed to death by my favorite old lady XD.
Load More Replies... An Co 4 years ago (edited)
Problem is a lot of girls do it to men. Trick is to put one of your elbows towards your belly button. Keeps things civil
Natalie KS 4 years ago
Men and Girls? Men and Women, or Boys and Girls - anything else is creepy and wrong.
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#48
F**k society or movies or whatever it is that tells you "Fail at once try again" or "never give up on what you want." If you pursue a woman and she is not interested in you, take your loss and leave her alone. We are human beings not achievements to unlock in a video game. If we were interested in you we would have had said yes initially. If you keep pestering us we are just going to think you are not dateable AND annoying.
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago (edited)
Seriously, guys. Your behavior, especially our first impression of it, matters A LOT. Think about it. Imagine what a man who is that creepy and annoying when “introducing himself” (translation: forcing himself on us) would be like as a boyfriend or husband—-if he ever got that lucky (it’d never happen, but I say it for the sake of illustrating my point). If you still don’t get it, then turn the tables. Would you want a woman like that as a girlfriend or wife?
Martin Kaine 4 years ago
I completely agree.....but that being said "never give up on what you want" is like 75% of all rom-coms, which doesn't help the perceptions some men have.
#49
Doing something creepy, and then following up with, "You like that, don't you?" wtf
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago (edited)
Would your mom like it if some random creep said it to her?
Requiem 4 years ago
He doesnt know, just like he doesnt know what his parents like in the bedroom
Load More Replies... Candia Lee 4 years ago
This should be higher. Reminds me of listening to Blurred Lines, but worse.
#50
Pet names without consent. I even get messages on reddit calling me hun, honey, baby, babe, babygirl, sweetie, sweetheart... It feels so creepy and gross
N G 4 years ago
The trouble with the internet is it's international. Baby, babygirl, babe etc are gross and unacceptable across any culture, but sweetie and hun aren't necessarily the same because they can be used as a colloquial nicety in certain parts of the world with no sexual context intended or implied. See also the British out of context post with the Alcohol Storage Pet being the answer to what's a Geordie wine cellar? Here: "Pet" is a Geordie-ism, applied to anyone by anyone, regardless of gender. It's almost a verbal tic. It might be a case of calling it out the first time to establish, then follow up by blocking and reporting - but some 'pet' names are genuinely innocently meant, and it's a cross-cultural divide with no malicious intent.
Jon S. 4 years ago
After living in Yorkshire for a number of years I fell foul of this. I was used to everyone calling me things like 'duck,' which do not translate well we speaking to an American.
Load More Replies... Isabel Care 4 years ago
Whenever this happened at work I'd reply with things like peal, flower, luvvie, sweetums etc. Lots of the guys got upset, but then most stopped the pet names. Same with slapping my a**e, I slapped back, very hard. Many years working in mostly male environments. I only had to stab one guy (with the pen I was using when he grabbed me) who escalated the grabbing every time I said no. I threw him bodily out of the site office 3 times with various pains and bruises before bleeding him. If I knew beforehand that he fainted at the sight of blood, I would have arranged to have the red stuff around. Playing rough with older brothers is a very helpful thing sometimes.
TheFakeSteveRogers 4 years ago
If you keep on getting these messages, just say don't talk to me, you're creeping me out. And if you keep on proceeding to call me these names, i'll call 911 (Or any safety number depending on which country you are). Period. Threaten them.
#51
Touching my tattoos when they ask to see them. It's crazy how many don't understand personal space/boundaries. Just, why? I assure you, they're real.
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
Yes! I had a guy doing gas leak testing grab my arm ( in my narrow apartment hallway) and just stroke my tattoo like crazy. So creepy. I now no longer answer the door bell. If they are here to see me they text
DelvianBlue 4 years ago
I had a guy try to poke his finger into an open biopsy site on my neck when I was explaining what the injury was. Like no thanks, I don't need your dirty finger in my open wound!
#52
Standing randomly close to us for no reason. My best friend and I were fishing the other day and some guy stood half way down the path to the lake ( which only went to our area, there's a path around the lake he stepped off of) for like ten minutes just smiling and looking like a potential serial killer. I'm not good at being quiet and polite when I'm uncomfortable so I finally told him "hey, your kinda creeping us out here. We don't know you and you are blocking the only exit. Can you move on?". He smiled his serial killer smile and stood for another minute and when I started to grab my phone he finally moved on. Mucho creepo.
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago (edited)
Back in the day—-I was in my twenties, so it was the ‘80s—-I worked a job where my days off were mid-week. I’m a movie buff, and loved going to matinees while everyone else was at work, and I practically had the theatre to myself. One time I had settled into my seat, and put my purse in the seat next to me. There were maybe only 3 or 4 other people there, minding their own business a few rows in front of me, so basically an empty theatre. Suddenly this random guy just comes down my row of seats, picks up my purse, and proceeds to try and sit down in the seat next to me! I grabbed my purse from him and yelled out something like “What the hell are you doing? I don’t know you. You’ve got the whole rest of the theatre to sit in, you don’t need to sit next to me!” It got the attention of the other people in the theatre, who stood up to see what was going on. Creep made a quick and embarrassed exit, scuttling out like a cockroach, and never came back. I did make sure to keep people around me when I left, just in case. Out these creeps, loudly and publicly, every damn time they try this s**t. Maybe they’ll learn (hey, I can dream, can’t I?).
#53
When men I don’t know well at all do random favors for me without me asking. I know it can come from an innocent place, but I’ve had enough buildups to creepy behavior that started with small things, that I’m immediately suspicious. Example, (not terribly dark), a previous neighbor of mine who was around 45 (I was 25). We lived in a house split into apartments so we shared a yard. He would water my flowers, spread mulch onto my flowerbeds, clean my gutters, etc. without asking beforehand if I wanted or needed him to help, but he’d always tell me afterward he’d done it. (I was already kind of wary about what he expected from me, so I thanked him with a 6-pack, which seemed to disappoint him.) He also said numerous times that he worries about me living alone and he’d protect me if I ever had an intruder or anything. Which, okay, thanks? I decided he was just a generous person. He introduced me to the other neighbors, and once in a while we’d all go out for a drink at the pub down the road, and he’d pay for everyone’s drinks, regardless of whose idea it was to go out. So I thought “Ok this is just how he is.” And I thought that until I looked up from my couch around 11pm and he was standing in my flower bed staring through my window with his hands cupped around his eyes. He grinned and tapped on the glass like “Hey cmere let’s talk.” So I went outside (I was waiting on a friend to come pick me up) to find him wearing what I think was a suit, swaying, very drunk, and he says “Let’s go out. Where do you want to go?” I was like hey, sorry, I’ve got plans with a friend tonight. So he interrogates me about what kind of friend (it was a guy), then out comes the list of all the things he’s done for me, how he’d never let anyone hurt me, how even though he’s old enough to be my father.......(then he kind of trailed off). I asked “Do you mean go out on a date?” Mumbles yeah kind of. I said I didn’t think of him that way, and that he was right, I kind of did put him in the category of people my father’s age. Then he got mad saying things like “Woooww, so that’s how you’re gonna be huh” and I was just so surprised and had no idea what to do so I just started apologizing. My friend arrived with flawless timing.
Kalika Burgau 4 years ago
Hahaha. You missed thee exact point of multiple posts on this thread. When a man does something creepy don't blame the woman and don't point out how you're "not that guy" 🤦🏻♀️
Neil Bidle 4 years ago
If the guy is making a point that he's doing jobs for you, that's a red flag. I'd be the guy doing all those little jobs while I was about my own business (otherwise what, you stop cleaning the gutters at the border line?), but I wouldn't be making a fanfare about it. Magical DIY elf
#54
"this 'random thing' makes me so hard" A: did I ask about your d*ck B: y'all get boners from waking up, that isn't a compliment C: stop making this about your d*ck
Lynn Morello 4 years ago
Making ANYTHING about your D**k, denotes a serious LACK of Self Control.
Ellie Rosser 4 years ago
It says exactly NOTHING about me, we’re talking about what YOUR d**k does ffs.
Load More Replies... #55
I work with food. The countless times I’ve heard “What’s the favourite with the females?” Dude. I’m serving you fries. There is no gender divide. Stop making everything about that.
Nirity 4 years ago
Yes, because women are monolith and we all like exactly the same things. When I like something I transmit a mind wave to all females around the world and they instantly starts liking it too.
Mia Smith 4 years ago
Nirity you just made me have a craving to read some sci-fi, if that makes sense. So maybe you ARE transmitting something....👻👻
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Rob Woodman 4 years ago
In an article about all the things “men” (not some men) do that are bad, we learn we shouldn’t lump everyone from a gender together. Shocking!
#56
Those dudes that are incapable of being just friends with a girl. I know so many cool dudes that I would love to have as friends but once you're not a viable dating/f**king option (for whatever reason) they just peace out. It makes me sad.
David Butler 4 years ago
I read a tweet from a woman who, responding to men's complaints about being "friendzoned", used the word "fuckzoned" as the opposite; a guy who only "wants to be friends" until she makes it clear that she has no interest in taking said "friendship" further... and then ceasing to be even a friend at all. That disheartening situation where a man treats you as either sexually available or else non-existent.
#57
It's not most men at all but there was one man who acted super creepy and seemed to think it was fine. I worked with this guy back when I was 18. The two of us as well as some other coworkers would hang out all the time and I was generally friendly with the guy. Same sort of friendly as I'd use with anyone else but I guess it made him obsessed with me. For about 5 years he would constantly message me telling me how amazing I am. He clearly seemed to think that was a good idea and it would make me feel good and I guess make me in to him? Or maybe he already thought I was in to him? Point is if someone turns you down they probably aren't playing hard to get. Try once. If they turn you down and you suspect they're playing the stupid hard to get game then ask them directly. Don't pester them constantly for years. That is scary behavior. And yes, I did block the guy eventually. Then he started making alternative accounts to add me with. That's where we are getting in to stalker territory though. tl;dr// when someone says no you should back off, not turn in to a stalker *some people are still coming in with confusion. Let me reword it: Someone messaging you daily about how beautiful you are is not a nice compliment. It's scary, especially after making it clear nothing's going to happen.
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago (edited)
No, don’t ask if they’re playing hard to get. That’s creepy in itself. Just take what they say at face value, say something like “OK then“ or “Fine with me”, then just turn and walk away without looking back. Believe me, if you do that, and they really were just playing hard to get, it’ll be very obvious. You may just “dodge a bullet”, metaphorically speaking, that way. I mean, do you really want to be with someone who plays stupid head games like that?
#58
So there was this guy who I went on a date with. Once, never again. We had drinks, dinner, walked a bit. It was great until the point where I had to go Me: well it was nice, hope we can get to do it again soon, but I have to get home. Him: Let me walk you home... Me: It’s ok, it’s not that far. Him: No, no, I’ll walk you! Back off, mate, I don’t want you to know my address
David Higginbotham 4 years ago
Men who are properly raised (at least in the southern US) are taught to make sure the woman gets home safely
OBGYN KENOBI 4 years ago
Men who are properly raised respect women's wishes. I'm sure she's walked home alone many times. Real men would respect what she said and just ask that she text them when she got home.
Load More Replies... Allan Breum 4 years ago (edited)
He could have been trying to protect you from human predators...
Bob Knob 4 years ago
Or he WAS the predator. Also, making excuses/offering an "innocent" reason for other men's behavior is a problem too! Don't do it.
Load More Replies... OBGYN KENOBI 4 years ago
Um no. He should respect her wishes. They just met. Maybe he would have done something to her. You do know that most people are raped by people they know and not some creeper hiding in the shadows.
Load More Replies... #59
I don't have air in my car but it's so hot where I live so my windows are always down. When I come to a red light men try to talk to me from their vehicles and it makes me wildly uncomfortable because I obviously can't get away.
Lauren Caswell 4 years ago
When I was a kid and bored, I taught myself to burp on command. Seems like that skill could be useful after all!
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago (edited)
I had four older brothers, and was a tomboy as a child. So you know doggone well I can burp my name, and the alphabet, at will, amongst other obnoxious big brother talents. Never mastered playing my armpits, though, like one of my brothers could. He was a virtuoso at it, and I am still jealous.
Load More Replies... Lynn Morello 4 years ago
Advantage of electric windows. With a single raised middle finger telling them where to go.
Cathy Reynolds 4 years ago
My SIL has a false front tooth. When in this same position, she'd pop it out and then turn to the guy or guys and give them a big smile. The look on their faces was priceless and totally deserved.
Susan Trevaskis-Owen 4 years ago
Or pop in a CD of bagpipe music & put it on high volume.
Load More Replies... #60
Consistent pursuit. My senior year of high school, a junior guy kept pursuing me. We were in an algebra 2 class together and had after school practices for theater. This was my first year in any production. My goals that year were to try something new and maybe make some new friends. Enter "junior." It started off as friendly conversations. Things we had in common. He was nice and funny, but not my type. There was no spark for me. He asked me out. I said no. He was polite about my rejection and I figured we'd be friends. About two months into the school year, he said that he was having a bunch of the cast over for a party that weekend. Sure. Who doesn't like a party. When I got to his house it was just him, his family, and me. I thought I was early. No problem. I sat in the living room and we talked. Fifteen minutes later I texted a friend and told her to call me ASAP and fake an emergency because my gut felt off. By the time she calls: I've been there about 35 minutes, his mom is almost done cooking dinner, no one else has shown up, and his dad had made a passing remark about his son bringing "such a nice girl for dinner." That was the official red flag. I knew "junior" hadn't invited anyone else over. I noped out of there saying my "sister" had locked herself out of the house and she needed my key. I ignored him as much as I could after that. One word responses when he asked me things. Minimal interaction during class and practice. He asked me out three more times that year either oblivious or ignorant to my retraction. The last time was to prom and he knew I had started dating someone. He played it off as "oh no, i meant both of you come with me." Not a group mind you, just him. I had to drop out of theater that Spring due to a band conflict and it ended up being a blessing because it got me away from him. It's a tame example, but it still gives me the creeps when I remember him.
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago (edited)
It’s a good illustration of the fact that creeps start being creepy while they’re young. If this guy had just left things at the friendship level, you would’ve continued to talk to him—-as a friend, since you weren’t attracted to him. But he just had to take it to the weird level of telling his parents he invited a girl—-maybe even saying you were his girlfriend—-over to dinner. Bet he’s now living in their basement. Or in jail.
Stephanie Cunningham 4 years ago
I had a male coworker invite me to a comedy club as part of a group. Then, when I showed up, it was just him, and he told me he lied because he didn't think I would go on a date with him alone. Then he tried to kiss me.
#61
I guess I don't necessarily know if men think this is okay, but I work at a grocery store that is known nationwide for their exceptionally friendly/helpful employees, and I regularly have men take advantage of this by going down their entire shopping list (usually clearly written by their wife) asking me to guide them to each item because it gives them an excuse to keep talking to me. I know what you are doing. Stop it. It is entirely unfair to use my job's professionalism expectations to your advantage so you can hit on me.
TK 421 4 years ago
When I ask for the location of an item I always get a weird look for adding that I’d like them to just point me in the right direction because that’s just one of many things I need and don’t want more than a finger point to the vicinity
Neil Bidle 4 years ago
Yeah, I'm not a child, tell me the aisle number and I'm good thanks!
Load More Replies... #62
Very blatantly leering at women in public or talking about them like achievements or decorations, calling us “females” but calling men “men”
Alex_cat lover 4 years ago
I know it’s just all about them have you noticed feMALE woMAN
Load More Replies... Natalie KS 4 years ago
Worse - Infantilizing women by calling them 'girls' and still calling men 'men'.
#63
When strange men approach me and start asking personal questions like we’re on a first date.
Lyna Kader 4 years ago
Yeeep. It's so creepy! Wth makes them think it's acceptable to do that???
#64
My workplace is mostly men. There are 3 women and approximately 25 men. I used to bring in homemade baked goods a lot...pumpkin bread, brownies, cookies, smores bars and the like. I enjoy being in the kitchen. It's a nice gesture to share. One guy started drawing me borderline inappropriate Minnie Mouse drawings. Not done well. Traced images but with small changes like her bloomers too short. Weird to explain. I'm the exact opposite of a person you'd think would like anything Disney related, let alone sexy Minnie. He said he drew them to thank me for the treats. I stopped bringing in treats which resulted in everyone else questioning why I quit baking. Very awkward all around.
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago (edited)
Tell them the truth when they ask. Maybe they’ll step up and start policing the office creeps, like they should’ve been doing all along. Sunshine is the best disinfectant.
Bob Knob 4 years ago
:( sad that you had to give up something that gave you joy and pride because some dude with an unwashed ass can't control himself.
Rose Rosee 4 years ago
Unwashed ass... Oh that's a good one! I also think it's sad that she stopped baking for the office. I wish had spoken up.
Load More Replies... Ellie Rosser 4 years ago
I’d make treats for everyone else and explain to him why he’s not getting any until his behavior improves.
#65
"I know you said you're a lesbian, but I think you're cute and wanted to know if you'll give me a chance." Admittedly that has thankfully only happened to me online (and that is a politely worded version), but I have plenty of friends who have gotten it in real life too.
Lauren Caswell 4 years ago
I wonder if gay guys get this from women too? I can imagine they would. Ìts like that unrequited love issue again, not accepting another's choice to say no to them
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
Unfortunately they do, and it’s just as creepy to them. Please respect other people when they say NO. I mean, FFS, you want people to do the same for you, don’t you?
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Shelley Ollig 4 years ago
My lesbian friend was sometimes treated as "one of the guys" because she liked girls (she'd actually been involved with the same woman more than 20 years). They'd be at a bar and as an attractive woman passed by, comment to her, things like "she's got a nice rack, huh?" or "don't you wish you could kiss her juicy lips?" As if just because she's attracted to women, she's also like a visually stimulated, non-committed man.
Rose Rosee 4 years ago
This may not belong here, but here it goes. A long while ago I was walking down the street with my co-worker and friend. These 2 guys start walking behind us, but it's midtown Manhattan who isn't walking behind you. But we both started feeling weird and stopped talking, we started walking a little faster. We were standing on the corner waiting for the light to change, when one of the men is trying way to hard to get her number. She said she was married, he said "your husband will never have to know". She mentioned she was probably pregnant he said"pregnant p***y is the best in the world". She then says look I have herpes, he said without missing a beat "baby nonoxynol-9 will knock that s**t right out!" We both ran across the street as soon as the light changed. The other guy made sure to call me a stuck up bitch because I didn't say anything to him. That was just one of the many reasons I started to bring lunch from home. Disgusting.
Satirical Duchess 4 years ago
this gives me vibes of the lyric "everyone's a little queer, why can't she be a little straight?"
#66
Today I watched a guy in the hall basically jogging to keep up with a girl so he could hit on her. If you have to struggle to keep up just stop. She’s not interested.
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
Put yourself in his path, then stick your foot out when he passes you. He’ll be so embarrassed about tripping and face planting in the carpet, that he’ll slink out of the building and back under his rock at lightning speed, never to return.
#67
When I don't want to talk/go on a date/accept a drink/give them my number/etc., and they try to negotiate, coerce or rationalize me into saying yes. If I say "thanks, but I'm not interested," it does NOT mean that I'm "playing hard to get." If a woman doesn't respond positively to flirting, back off. "Playing hard to get" isn't a thing outside of 1950s movies. Showing me porn or random photos of hot women to... put me in the mood to go out with them, I guess? I don't even know why men think this is a good icebreaker, but it's happened to me and to my friends on multiple occasions so it seems to be A Thing. Men, why? Am I supposed to be flattered that you collect porn of girls who look vaguely like me? Don't believe movies. A big dramatic confession of TRUE LOVE to a girl you've never even been on a date with isn't romantic... it's awkward at best and terrifying at worst.
John Montgomery 4 years ago
Do people in real life ever play hard to get, or is that just something movies have made popular?
Sky Render 4 years ago
It's an illusion most of the time. There are a handful that do play games like that, but most of the time it's less "playing hard to get" and more "accidental miscommunication".
Load More Replies... Nirity 4 years ago
Yes, it's a thing and makes zero sense. Why dudes believe this? I suggest they think something like "see that hot whore - be like her". Many times I have asked "ok, if you think porn images will magically turn me on, why you don't show me hot men?". This makes them really uncomfortable - because hot men are competition and will turn me off when I realize the difference between the hot guy image and the ugly guy who tries to set me in the mood. Oh, men's logic... Is there any logic at all in this creatures?
Loralie Chase 4 years ago
Ok so I have a question if you've heard the song one of them girls by Lee Brice you'll know what I'm talking about. I've always liked the song but it also bothers me that the song specifically says that the girl isn't trying to meet anyone and is there for the party. Then it goes on to say how they're one of them girls who wants to see how far they'll go and this bothers me. Am I crazy or does anyone else feel this way?
Emily Larsen 4 years ago
this guy i knew sent me pictures of pretty girls and constantly told me how hot they were and stuff. he liked me at this time and it really felt like he was trying to get me to change to look like those girls
#68
I once repeatedly told a guy I had zero interest in dating and was 100% devoted to celibacy for religious reasons and he kept trying to find out my full name, and when I called him out on it, he said "that's okay, because it'll be [his last name] one day." This was literally in the first and only conversation (online) we'd ever had. I don't do online chat anymore. Guys, dont play that confidence game. Just be you. I swear, that over-confidence-to-make-up-for-perceived-deficiencies thing is CREEPY AS F*CK.
#69
"you should smile more" or calling me smiley/grumpy/happy
Susan Green 4 years ago
There was this guy who worked for the same company as me. He always looked kind of angry and never smiled. I always got a bad vibe from him, so I never smiled at him whenever I saw him. He always used to say why don’t you smile more, and then started to call me smiley. It pissed me off, and one day he saw me and once again said hi smiley, I said hi mr cheerful, and after that, he never called me that again.
Pumpkin Spice 4 years ago
Oh I'm grumpy? Yeah, let's see how much better I'll look when I slam my knee into your d**k.
#70
Something I have gotten at all of my customer service jobs (receptionist at a doctors office, front desk hotel, retail... etc) is older men who sidle up to the desk I’m working at and lean their elbow on it to “hang out and chat”. Most of the time the conversation starts with him saying something like: “Wow, if I knew the doctor hired girls as pretty as you, I’d have been a patient years ago!” (Or any variation of that depending on the place of work). This happens all the time. Whether or not I look cute that day. Whether or not I even AM cute. Whether or not I’m wearing my wedding ring. When I was 18 up to me being 25 today. Crusty old men always do this, sometimes in front of their wives. It’s lovely.
Sky Render 4 years ago
Sad thing is, it was culturally encouraged for men to be flirty like that back in the day. Older generations still have trouble dealing with the fact that it is not considered "okay" to do that any more.
Analyn Lahr 4 years ago
Oh yeah, my grandpa flirted with just about every woman he had any interaction with. Even though it clearly annoyed my grandma. The ones I saw, the women he was flirting with were always polite like they were placating an old man but looking back on it some were probably just trying to end the conversation.
Load More Replies... Pumpkin Spice 4 years ago
Ooh, ooh! Pull out your eyeshadow and start putting it behind your ears! Or lipstick on your eyes!
Cathy Reynolds 4 years ago
I used to be a Personal Banker. I was in my mid twenties and a male customer I had never seen before sat at my desk. He was probably early 30's, short, slight, average looking. I started working on whatever it was he needed with basically no conversation, for which I was thankful. Something felt off, and I was about to find out what that was. After a few moments of silence - Him: Are you married? Me: Yes. Him: Consider an affair? Me: Absolutely NOT. I finished his transaction with no other conversation, he left and I never saw him again. I think of this occasionally 30 plus years later and wonder if that line ever worked for him. Hope not, it was so creepy and wrong. I had a lot of the older, retired men who'd start with, "If I were 10/20 years younger..." Despite me being very married and young enough to be their granddaughter, and totally repulsed. Again, so creepy and wrong. Made me so uncomfortable, always. This was in the 80's.
#71
I've come across a few men who don't seem to understand that "I have a boyfriend" means I'm not single and I don't want to be pursued or flirted with.
Amy Dodds 4 years ago
"oh come on, he doesn't need to know. I'll make your knees shake so you won't want him after I'm done with you. Just don't tell him alright? It can be our little secret. I bet he's not a real man and I'm bigger than him. Oh come on, how do you know if youve not tried it? Just take a chance, I know you won't regret it' no no NO NO NO!!!
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
Or, that’s alright, I’m married. WT Actual F, dude? Tell you what, how about I give her a quick call first?
Load More Replies... WhatEvenIsLife 4 years ago (edited)
I've been straight up asked - more than once - "Well, do you cheat?" Was also told once, "Well, it's just a question of whether you can live with the guilt." If men have nothing else, they have the audacity.
#72
Bringing up sex in the first hour of conversation. Dude, I probably don’t even remember your name, don’t ask me about my favorite position or when the last time I had sex was.
Samantha Power 4 years ago
I feel your pain. I am on dating sites and after the 'how are you' launch right into what you said, without asking me anything at all about myself. It is incredibly rude and not the way to go if you want to meet a woman to go on a date.
Jeweled Dragon 4 years ago
I was once told by an ex that he was going to marry me after college and was constantly asking about sex. It was the first day. I was 13.
#73
Today I was grabbing some chicken nuggets at a Wendy’s drive thru as a once in a blue moon treat, and the cashier says “damn girl, you’re pretty”. Here I am in my business suit and blazer like ........ thanks. Then he goes “are you a princess or something?” I say nothing. He hands me my food- ”Bye, pretty girl, hope I see you again!” I know that to the outside observer, that seems innocent, but if I’m trapped waiting in my car I don’t want to have to respond to your flirting. Don’t flirt with women who are unable to leave. And it makes me very uncomfortable to be called a “pretty girl” and “princess” when I’m clearly an adult woman in formal business attire. Feels like I’m not being respected. I’m a woman not a girl damn it!
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
Park your car, then go in and ask for the manager. This is one time when it’s perfectly acceptable to be a “Karen”.
#74
Another big one is when your catching public transport and there's lots of spare seats around but a guy decides he wants to sit next to you. Even worse is when they try and talk to you even when you have headphones on.
Vetus Vespertilio 4 years ago
Then you have to literally climb over him. I can guarantee you you’ll get groped as you go.
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Dolevaal 4 years ago
I remember getting looong ago on an almost empty bus. After a few minutes someone was plucking my pony-tail. I was reading my book so a clear "leave me the eff alone" signal. I tied my hair up, he ignored. I changed seats, he came after me. Like, nothing dangerous happened, just me being pissed as hell.
#75
Maybe it's just me but, asking if I live alone. Now if at this point of inquiry there was an already established friendship I suppose it's okay. But if you are a stranger or an acquaintance that would freak me out.
Kim Kermes 4 years ago
One of my roommates is a baseball bat plugged with lead. Another is a .38
Kim Kermes 4 years ago
Forgot to start with my 8 inch chef's knife and my cleaver...
Load More Replies... #76
Hi cutie :3 blushes
Rae Reyn 4 years ago
"*Brushes your hair back and smiles shyly* Hi cutie. " My dude, this isn't some weird RP on Livejournal. Learn to have a conversation.
Rae Reyn 4 years ago
*growls and starts to turn into wolf* Actual response I've had, I wish I were kidding.
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#77
Hitting on a girl while she's on the clock
ベンジーBenji 4 years ago
When I younger I kind of liked getting flirted with at work. It made work more fun if it was slow. I don't see a problem with this unless they are not interested.
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
I've barely been flirted with. However, I have had several people stare at me in awe as I talked to them (they were 11, 12, and 13, I was around 14. All dudes). It was great.
Load More Replies... #78
Giving WAY too many compliments right off the bat. Met a guy at a bar and stupidly gave him my number. Next day I get text after text saying things like "you're so nice" or "you're so pretty". Sir I am a goblin with a rude sense of humor and a loathing of showers. Don't pretend you know anything after a chance encounter
Shelli Aderman 4 years ago
(Your area code here) 382-5633 is, in fact, 🖕🏽. 🤣
Load More Replies... #80
Telling me about your sh*tty childhood trauma as an icebreaker... I really dont want to know all that dude.
Samantha Power 4 years ago
So many men looking for a free therapist, want to dump all their problems on you.
#81
“I like thick girls.” Especially as their introductory sentence on a dating site. Just gross.
Rob Woodman 4 years ago
Why? As a woman (forgive the assumed heterosexuality) don’t you have preferences?
#82
STOP WINKING. It’s weird af
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
WTF is wrong with your eyes? Got some kind of nervous twitch or something? The only times a wink is OK are if it’s between people in a relationship who understand its meaning, or if someone is trying to let you know they’re stepping in to help you out, and to just follow their lead. Otherwise, it’s just f*****g creepy.
ベンジーBenji 4 years ago
AHAHA ok but I mean.. One of my 4 year old twins did it to some rando person who looked at him and it was funny. Winking can be ok.
blue 4 years ago
You are the kind of woman who is clueless. Stop commenting. You are making a fool of yourself
Load More Replies... #83
At my work, we ask phone numbers for our "club" and countless times I've been asked if I will personally call them, the answer is no... Then, "what's your number?" My reply, "I don't have a phone" Or "Oh you want my number? Where are we going tonight?!" And a creepy older guy like 70's.... "Well what's your number sweetheart?" Me..."Um no..no..no" Him,"Well I'm not gonna stop asking until there's a ring on this finger (tapping my left ring finger)... I yanked my hand away so fast and I was new at the job so I didn't want to make a scene and just said "have a great day!"
#84
Talk about their sex life or make sexual jokes to women they barely know. Mostly because it’s usually a first step towards more predatory actions.
#85
Stare at me. Like not glance at me or anything like that. But just stare, silently. Like, who told them that was ok
HighNMightyBigshot 2 years ago
Just met a friend of a friend, we are all dancing and he looks at me with this come hither look, I looked at him with a WTF! look, he stopped.
#86
Calling me any name like sweetie, honey etc. I'm not your sweetie a-hole.
#87
Coming up behind me at a bar and putting their arm around the back of my chair or on my shoulders, and then proceeding to ask if I am married or seeing someone. Should be the other way around. Another one is trying to lock eyes from across the room. Just come over and say hi, don’t stare and wait for me to notice.
#88
Random people online friending you just because you have a girly name just to say "hi, are you boy or girl" then asking for your snapchat or Instagram to see what you look like
What do you think ?
Hans 4 years ago
I am always wondering how such collections emerge. I mean, if so many people can add entries to them, there must be so many people with profound issues with respecting other people out there. I cannot relate to any of the behaviours described here...not in a "not all men" way but in a "wtf is wrong with these people?" way. My feeling now is to try having even more open ears and, at least if I witness disrespect in public, to say something so that those who experience a lack of respect get confirmation that the only thing that should see no tolereance is a lack of tolerance.
Q B F T 4 years ago
That's a great thing to aim to do Hans. I would say one thing: you use the word "respect", and you are right - it is a lack of respect - but I think it's more serious than that. Many of these situations feel threatening and dangerous - even if they don't amount to anything. Take the last entry here "Coming up behind me at a bar and putting their arm around the back of my chair or on my shoulders, and then proceeding to ask if I am married or seeing someone" - this can be scary, because if the guy is this invasive right off the bat, what else could he do? Can I tell him to get lost, of will that make him angry? If he gets angry will he be violent? If he's bigger than me, how can I defend myself? Are there people in the bar witnessing this? Would they help if I needed it? Etc. Now probably 99 times out of 100 I can get rid of him safely so 99 times it *is* just a matter of lack of respect. But every single time, you get that fear - even if it's just for a few seconds.
Load More Replies... Rae Reyn 4 years ago
Life hack: If a creeper keeps telling you how beautiful/perfect you are, just say "I know". Nothing is a bigger turn off to that type than a woman with confidence.
Lunar Bicycle 4 years ago
Hello, fellow men! Here’s a thought experiment: if a woman shows interest in you, but you’re not interested in her, what imaginary scenarios go through your head as you walk away alone, or are trapped in an elevator or a cab with her, or if she finds out where you live? For most of us, not much. Maybe a keyed car? Now, what are women imagining is the worst thing that could happen when that situation is reversed? You know the answer.
Allan Breum 4 years ago
You know, I'd love to see one where the genders were reversed "men-share-creepy-things-women-do".
Jon S. 4 years ago
Having shared 2 to this list I have to say that 90% of my problems are caused by other men, not women. So the real question is what do men hate other men doing, to which bored panda does indeed already have a thread https://www.boredpanda.com/what-people-hate-about-other-men-reddit/
Load More Replies...
Rose the Cook 4 years ago
After divorcing my first husband it seemed that every male I met began conversations with; "And how much was your settlement?"
Daniel Marsh 4 years ago
I can't imagine why anyone would ask that... unless you drove up to your job at the McDonald's in a Maserati. "Dayum, girl... How much WAS your settlement?"
Load More Replies... blue 4 years ago (edited)
landlords hitting on women who are working poor and have nowhere to go.I am in my 50ties and had to downsize to nice basement apt in a retired couples house. Then the pandemic hit and I was laid off. The 81 year old landlord flirted with me every-time he saw me. He grilled me about my employment status every time I saw him. He told me his wife was jealous of me and wanted me out but he was the only reason I was allowed to stay. I tried to find a job, any job for a year. As a 56 year old with only high school in a pandemic that was not happening. My rent was paid on time every month. Yet the flirtation, gross sexual comments about my body continued. He even followed me in his car a few times. I caught him in my apt 4 times unannounced. One day he put his hand on my thigh as I sat on my outside table and offered me money toward my rent. Of course while telling me his wife wanted me out. I finally told his daughter what was happening and the wife called me a s**t and said to stay away from her husband. She said I was flirting with him. My point. Stop putting women with no options in difficult situations. I had no choice but to stay in the apt because of the pandemic and a loss of income.I have no family and nowhere to go. The wife blamed me and said I had to leave. It has been a year of hiding in my apt when he is outside and being afraid of becoming homeless if I tell him to leave me the f**k alone. I told him so many times I was not interested and that I wanted to be left alone but in a very polite way. I am normally the kind of woman who would not think twice about telling someone to leave me the hell alone. But this is my roof over my head. My safe place. I am terrified of becoming homeless as I have no job. This kind of s**t traps woman with no money and no options. Right now I am sitting in my basement apt in Toronto wondering what will happen to me when they throw me out for something that was not my fault. This is an abuse of power.
Samara Morgan 2 years ago
His wife is pathetic. She's protecting a sexually abusive monster and blaming someone who feels enslaved. Both of them should end up homeless, not you.
Load More Replies... Mike Crow 4 years ago
Your opinion please. I am 43 and have a horse in a local stable where the population is 80% teenage girls. They are very friendly and I am new to horses so they told me I can ask them questions. So for months I talked to them about horses (I talk to the adults too), asked them questions and always made sure I never crowded them. Yet recently I was told one of the adults complained about me as they thought it was inappropriate for me to talk to the teens. Not about what we talk about just that the adult didn’t like me talking to them. What do you think?
Q B F T 4 years ago
Mike, it's a difficult situation. It sounds like you're doing nothing wrong etc. but it's important to remember that you may be making these girls feel uncomfortable unintentionally and unknowingly - if they are feeling uncomfortable, they may feel powerless to do anything about it due to their (perception of their own) position / power in relation to yours. If this is the case, it's not necessarily your fault - and it's not necessarily the girls' fault either - so it's very difficult to know what to do / how to respond to that. And it may not be this situation at all - maybe just a parent uncomfortable with a 43 year old man talking to their teenage daughter - which is understandable considering the number of middle-aged men who creep on young girls - even though you are clearly not that kind of person. It's a shame all those creepers tarnish innocent men - one of the many reasons why we should stamp it ou. Whatever the situation, it's difficult to play it right, I think. Good luck!
Load More Replies... 
V Martinez 4 years ago
Statistically, I would think it's generally more men than women. Some of these things, women also do. (Like the "if I was younger, etc.) It may not make it right on either side. However, why does it seem more acceptable, or less of an issue when women do this stuff? I'm trying to understand.
Q B F T 4 years ago
Yes, statistically it is more men than women do it - and I don't have stats to hand, but anecdotally, I'd say the difference is large - to use your "if I was younger..." example (a good one because I've spoken to my friends about exactly this) - this has happened to all of my female friends many times, but out of my group of male friends it had only happened to one or two of them only once or twice - and was recalled with a "haha" rather than a "urgh". So to your question, "why does it seem more of an issue for women than for men?" I would say, first, frequency: it literally happens more often to women. And second: power dynamics. Generally, when a woman does this to a man, the man doesn't feel in danger for various reasons - the woman is unlikely to be physically stronger, for example. Whereas vice versa, a woman may feel threatened, physically or otherwise. Which is why women often laugh it off - not because they think it's funny, but they're scared what will happen if they don't.
Load More Replies...
M M 4 years ago
Being polite to the store clerk and then getting a phone call in the evening from him saying he used my customer profile info to contact me and ask me out on a date. Because he felt there was a connection. It's one thing for a guy to ask for my number and give me a choice to say no but for him to look into the company data of regular customers for my number is creepy right? I told him it was a violation of my privacy.
Hans 4 years ago
I am always wondering how such collections emerge. I mean, if so many people can add entries to them, there must be so many people with profound issues with respecting other people out there. I cannot relate to any of the behaviours described here...not in a "not all men" way but in a "wtf is wrong with these people?" way. My feeling now is to try having even more open ears and, at least if I witness disrespect in public, to say something so that those who experience a lack of respect get confirmation that the only thing that should see no tolereance is a lack of tolerance.
Q B F T 4 years ago
That's a great thing to aim to do Hans. I would say one thing: you use the word "respect", and you are right - it is a lack of respect - but I think it's more serious than that. Many of these situations feel threatening and dangerous - even if they don't amount to anything. Take the last entry here "Coming up behind me at a bar and putting their arm around the back of my chair or on my shoulders, and then proceeding to ask if I am married or seeing someone" - this can be scary, because if the guy is this invasive right off the bat, what else could he do? Can I tell him to get lost, of will that make him angry? If he gets angry will he be violent? If he's bigger than me, how can I defend myself? Are there people in the bar witnessing this? Would they help if I needed it? Etc. Now probably 99 times out of 100 I can get rid of him safely so 99 times it *is* just a matter of lack of respect. But every single time, you get that fear - even if it's just for a few seconds.
Load More Replies... Rae Reyn 4 years ago
Life hack: If a creeper keeps telling you how beautiful/perfect you are, just say "I know". Nothing is a bigger turn off to that type than a woman with confidence.
Lunar Bicycle 4 years ago
Hello, fellow men! Here’s a thought experiment: if a woman shows interest in you, but you’re not interested in her, what imaginary scenarios go through your head as you walk away alone, or are trapped in an elevator or a cab with her, or if she finds out where you live? For most of us, not much. Maybe a keyed car? Now, what are women imagining is the worst thing that could happen when that situation is reversed? You know the answer.
Allan Breum 4 years ago
You know, I'd love to see one where the genders were reversed "men-share-creepy-things-women-do".
Jon S. 4 years ago
Having shared 2 to this list I have to say that 90% of my problems are caused by other men, not women. So the real question is what do men hate other men doing, to which bored panda does indeed already have a thread https://www.boredpanda.com/what-people-hate-about-other-men-reddit/
Load More Replies... Rose the Cook 4 years ago
After divorcing my first husband it seemed that every male I met began conversations with; "And how much was your settlement?"
Daniel Marsh 4 years ago
I can't imagine why anyone would ask that... unless you drove up to your job at the McDonald's in a Maserati. "Dayum, girl... How much WAS your settlement?"
Load More Replies... blue 4 years ago (edited)
landlords hitting on women who are working poor and have nowhere to go.I am in my 50ties and had to downsize to nice basement apt in a retired couples house. Then the pandemic hit and I was laid off. The 81 year old landlord flirted with me every-time he saw me. He grilled me about my employment status every time I saw him. He told me his wife was jealous of me and wanted me out but he was the only reason I was allowed to stay. I tried to find a job, any job for a year. As a 56 year old with only high school in a pandemic that was not happening. My rent was paid on time every month. Yet the flirtation, gross sexual comments about my body continued. He even followed me in his car a few times. I caught him in my apt 4 times unannounced. One day he put his hand on my thigh as I sat on my outside table and offered me money toward my rent. Of course while telling me his wife wanted me out. I finally told his daughter what was happening and the wife called me a s**t and said to stay away from her husband. She said I was flirting with him. My point. Stop putting women with no options in difficult situations. I had no choice but to stay in the apt because of the pandemic and a loss of income.I have no family and nowhere to go. The wife blamed me and said I had to leave. It has been a year of hiding in my apt when he is outside and being afraid of becoming homeless if I tell him to leave me the f**k alone. I told him so many times I was not interested and that I wanted to be left alone but in a very polite way. I am normally the kind of woman who would not think twice about telling someone to leave me the hell alone. But this is my roof over my head. My safe place. I am terrified of becoming homeless as I have no job. This kind of s**t traps woman with no money and no options. Right now I am sitting in my basement apt in Toronto wondering what will happen to me when they throw me out for something that was not my fault. This is an abuse of power.
Samara Morgan 2 years ago
His wife is pathetic. She's protecting a sexually abusive monster and blaming someone who feels enslaved. Both of them should end up homeless, not you.
Load More Replies... Mike Crow 4 years ago
Your opinion please. I am 43 and have a horse in a local stable where the population is 80% teenage girls. They are very friendly and I am new to horses so they told me I can ask them questions. So for months I talked to them about horses (I talk to the adults too), asked them questions and always made sure I never crowded them. Yet recently I was told one of the adults complained about me as they thought it was inappropriate for me to talk to the teens. Not about what we talk about just that the adult didn’t like me talking to them. What do you think?
Q B F T 4 years ago
Mike, it's a difficult situation. It sounds like you're doing nothing wrong etc. but it's important to remember that you may be making these girls feel uncomfortable unintentionally and unknowingly - if they are feeling uncomfortable, they may feel powerless to do anything about it due to their (perception of their own) position / power in relation to yours. If this is the case, it's not necessarily your fault - and it's not necessarily the girls' fault either - so it's very difficult to know what to do / how to respond to that. And it may not be this situation at all - maybe just a parent uncomfortable with a 43 year old man talking to their teenage daughter - which is understandable considering the number of middle-aged men who creep on young girls - even though you are clearly not that kind of person. It's a shame all those creepers tarnish innocent men - one of the many reasons why we should stamp it ou. Whatever the situation, it's difficult to play it right, I think. Good luck!
Load More Replies... V Martinez 4 years ago
Statistically, I would think it's generally more men than women. Some of these things, women also do. (Like the "if I was younger, etc.) It may not make it right on either side. However, why does it seem more acceptable, or less of an issue when women do this stuff? I'm trying to understand.
Q B F T 4 years ago
Yes, statistically it is more men than women do it - and I don't have stats to hand, but anecdotally, I'd say the difference is large - to use your "if I was younger..." example (a good one because I've spoken to my friends about exactly this) - this has happened to all of my female friends many times, but out of my group of male friends it had only happened to one or two of them only once or twice - and was recalled with a "haha" rather than a "urgh". So to your question, "why does it seem more of an issue for women than for men?" I would say, first, frequency: it literally happens more often to women. And second: power dynamics. Generally, when a woman does this to a man, the man doesn't feel in danger for various reasons - the woman is unlikely to be physically stronger, for example. Whereas vice versa, a woman may feel threatened, physically or otherwise. Which is why women often laugh it off - not because they think it's funny, but they're scared what will happen if they don't.
Load More Replies... M M 4 years ago
Being polite to the store clerk and then getting a phone call in the evening from him saying he used my customer profile info to contact me and ask me out on a date. Because he felt there was a connection. It's one thing for a guy to ask for my number and give me a choice to say no but for him to look into the company data of regular customers for my number is creepy right? I told him it was a violation of my privacy.
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