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56 Women Reveal What Made Them Say “No” When Their Partners Proposed
Proposing marriage is asking a person to spend the rest of their life with you. But many factors have to feel right for someone to say “Yes.” In fact, about one in four women have rejected a marriage proposal, according to research from the travel firm Superbreak.
It might seem impossible for a relationship to continue after the woman says “No.” However, studies show that about 30% of couples go on as if nothing happened or even get married later on.
Some people bring up the question to their partners unexpectedly and then have to deal with a response they didn’t anticipate. Bored Panda has collected some stories from several online threads about what happens when proposals go awry. Some end in heartbreak, others get do-overs and end in lasting marriages, while others lead to shocking and extra-public revelations.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Proposed to Girlfriend after she got off work on a Monday with her favorite meal prepared, and the apartment all lit with candles, rose petals on the floor after having had a special weekend together. (she is shy and promised violence if proposed to in public)
She said No no no! No! NO! when i asked her to marry me as she came in the door to our apartment.
She worked in the medical field and had puke all over her.....
She showered and said yes.
RELATED:
#2
My dad proposed to my mom the night he met her. The way they explain it, they "bared their souls to each other" that night. They talked for hours uninterrupted. And even though my dad wasn't looking to get married, he just knew. She said no, but did say yes to another night out.
He proposed again. She said no, but again, accepted another date. This went on nearly daily for 6 months.
One night, my parents played Scrabble against each other for the first time. My mom loves Scrabble. She kicks people's bum up and down the block, and this is a woman who takes pride in being well read enough to serve as a quick reference thesaurus. After a hard fought game, she lost for the first time she could remember. And my 105 pound 5 foot nothing mother swept the board and pieces of the table sending them flying across the room. She looked at my dad and said in a fury, "Fine, I'll marry you!" My dad responded, in classic male fashion, "Uhhh. I need to think about it."
He thought about it, and barely 8 months after they met, my parents married in a tiny chapel in Vegas. They celebrated 23 years this year.
#3
I proposed after 7 months of dating and she said "no" as it was too soon. I agreed and put the ring in a safety deposit box and told her that if she changed her mind, it's there for her. After 2 weeks, she said "yes" and we decided to have a long engagement period (2 years) so that we could be sure. We've been married for 37 years.
#4
She said no and then confessed that she had been sleeping with my brother it ruined the trip a bit tbh.
Balseraph 2 hours ago (edited)
It has to be one of the most selfish f*****g things ever to sleep with a family member of the person they're cheating on. It potentially ruins two relationships and certainly exposes that the sibling/cousin/parent/whomever doesn't respect them either. Don't cheat. If you do cheat, do it with someone your partner doesn't even know.
#5
I proposed after 3ish years of dating and one year of living together and she said no. I was offering her my great-grandparents wedding ring. That was Friday night. By Sunday night, after a trip to her parents, she came back and told me that she was gay. That was 22 years ago.
Since then I have been married for 16 years to the next woman I dated. My wife has the wedding ring that I offered to my ex. The gay girlfriend has been with her partner for nearly 22 years. I have a daughter and they have a girl and a boy. I love them and they are just the best people ever. This is a bullet we both dodged.
Lukas (he/him) 3 hours ago
I love OP, they seem like a really great man. They said their ex had gone through horrific a***e and trauma, and OP was one of the first men she felt safe with, and that led to her feeling safe enough to finally figure it out.
#6
Not my story but the best one I've ever heard.
My friend's parents met at a bar down the shore. Her dad was crazy about her mom, but it was unrequited. She slept with him anyway, just a one night stand, and ignored him after that. Until she found out she was pregnant.
He was over the moon and she was intent on having the baby. He tried to be with her, but she consistently refused him. Proposed to her several times, ending in eye rolls and exasperated "no"'s from her each time.
After 9 months, she went into labor and let him come with her into the delivery room. Just her and this guy who had been begging her to marry him. A few hours into labor, the doctors started to notice something was wrong. The baby's heartbeat was slowing rapidly.
The mother started to panic, but the father stayed calm. He stayed with her and communicated information from the doctors. But there was little anyone could do. She delivered a stillborn.
After everything happened, my friends mom realized she had found her soulmate. They finally got together and are still married to this day.
#7
I asked, she said no because I drank way too much. I said I would get it under control. I tried bluffing instead. She saw through it and kicked me out. She was right.
I don't have a clue where she is or whatever happened to her.
I quit drinking now but that was definitely my life's most cruel lesson.
#8
My dad proposed to my mom after they'd been seeing each other for just under two weeks. She laughed and basically told him he was crazy, that it was way too soon. My dad said, (and he is very proud of this fact,) "Fine. I asked you once. I'm not gonna ask again." My mom thought he was bluffing. After a year of dating she started giving him a hard time about not asking her to get married again, and he stuck to his guns and said she missed her chance and he wasn't going to ask again. My mom finally broke down and asked *him* to marry *her*. Made sure she properly made fun of him when she did it, too. Made a big show about asking his father for permission, got down on one knee in public, got him the gaudiest engagement ring she could find. He said yes and they just celebrated their 30th anniversary.
EDIT: I guess I could have done a better job of conveying the spirit of my dad's initial proposal, because some people seem to think it was a serious thing where he actually got down on one knee, but it wasn't anything like that. My mom and dad were planning their next date, trying to figure out if they could go do anything after he got off of work, and he said, "Hey! I know! We could go get married!" He was serious but he framed it as a joke because he knew it was insane.
She thought he was joking but kind of suspected he wasn't, asked him if he was crazy in the very loud, hard to be offended-by-it way she has, said it's too soon but, you know, feel free to ask again later. My dad kept up his joking tone when he said he wouldn't ask again, hence why my mom thought he was just kidding when he wouldn't ask again. It wasn't at all framed like an ultimatum, but he really enjoyed reminding my mom of the fact that he'd already asked her to marry him whenever she nagged him about when he was going to get around to proposing.
Auntriarch 2 hours ago
Sounds like they understood each other perfectly, and it's a good story to chuckle over afterwards
#9
I'm the denier.
I'd been dating this girl for 6 months, and it was going pretty well. We hardly ever fought, but when we did it was hard for us to get back to normal.
At a good point, she said "I feel like I should pop the question". I have absolutely no poker face, and she instantly saw that I wasn't on board. As a child of the 80's, ALL of my friends had parents who'd divorced, and I'd made an oath to myself that I was just going to be married once. I liked this girl a lot, but I wasn't convinced yet that what we had was going to last forever.
So, we stayed together, went to couples counseling, and learned how to fight. It sounds strange, but I can't tell you how effective it was. We learned that my conflict pattern is to constantly work on a problem until it's solved, where her pattern is to blow off steam over time. The result was that I would keep conversations going when we fought, and would basically chase her around keeping her mad and blocking her attempts at breaking off to cool down. I learned to just let her be mad, and check back in later, and she learned to say "I just need to be by myself for a bit". It worked.
Our 'good relationship with rough fights' turned into 'great relationship with mature, low drama fights'. Conflicts that used to hang a dark cloud over the house for days were now resolved in hours. At that point I felt comfortable enough to say yes to a year long engagement.
....and we've now been married 18 years, have supported each other through thick and thin, and are raising two awesome kids.
The ONLY regret I have is that we ended up without a proposal story, as it was effectively negotiated over time. I did get on my knee and present a ring at a fancy dinner, but even then it was a ring we'd picked out together, as she was a jewelry smith
#10
Not denied during a proposal but 99% sure she realized I was going to propose and bailed before I had the chance.
Eight years and change together, everything seemed totally fine, we talked about a future together plenty of times, engagement rings, jobs, housing, kids, etc. The job and housing parts were going forward and she had shown me rings and talked weddings plenty so it felt like it was time to finally do that. Bought a ring, tried planning some neat trips to take her on for an awesome proposal, they kept not happening, finally decided I was just going to do it around New Years, but right before that she bailed. Timing was just so perfect for her not to have figured it out.
Never really got an explanation, just the general, "I love you but I'm not in love with you."
One of those kinda generic statements that you hate to get, especially after so long, but at the same time I'm sure there was plenty of legitimacy to it. We met when we were young and we grew into different people. People change a lot between the mid teens and mid twenties.
We tried to maintain a friendship for a while after that but it was super hard for me because I was still totally into her. I had to basically drop off the map entirely for a year or so because we shared the same social circle and I just got so incredibly uncomfortable around her. No hard feelings I guess at the end of the day, it sucked, but it wasn't like something awful happened between us. Eventually we just stopped talking. She drifted to a new social group, I got back in mine, life goes on. Definitely not where I expected to be at this point in my life though.
Not anywhere near as exciting/interesting as some other stories.
#11
I was proposed to and said no.
After 4 weeks of dating he got down on his knee with a HUGE diamond ring and said a huge speech along the lines of "when you know you know. Will you marry me?"
Since i barely knew the guy i flat out said no followed by "sorry...are you okay?"
He didn't speak to me for the rest of the night and then when he dropped me home i told my roomate about it. As i was telling her about it i get a text from him - YES A TEXT - saying "you've broken my heart. I never want to see you again. Goodbye. I love you."
We were both 22 at the time.
#12
From South India.. proposed her and got rejected right away. The reason is her parents won't accept the marriage outside their caste. Long story short, I waited and she accepted me after 3 years and took another 5 years to convince both our families. Married at 2011 and expecting our 2nd child next month.
Sorry for bad English, not even my second Language here.
#13
She said no, because she didn't think we were ready yet. She was a Senior in College, I had graduated but hadn't found a good job in my field.
After graduation, and her getting a professional job (And me getting a not quite so bad job)
We got married exactly 1 year later, on the Anniversary of the day she said no the first time.
19 years and 4 kids later, It's going pretty well.
#14
We had been together on and off for five years.
She kept coming back and telling me she couldn't live without me, then get sick of me and drop me for a few months at a time.
(And make no mistake, I was a no-esteem whiner back then).
She knew I am the marrying type, but she could not commit. Finally, after I had moved into my own apartment away from roommates, she asked to move in. I basically countered with a marriage proposal, knowing in the back of my head she would likely say no.
That's what happened, and we never got back together. 18 months later, I met the woman of my dreams and now we have been happily married for over 15 years.
Worked out just fine, thanks :)
#15
I've had three or four nos depending on how you count.
First one was initially a yes. We'd had a mostly long distance romance and I proposed after a couple years, but we still hardly knew each other. After visiting her family, and spending time learning less flattering things about me, I think I became tarnished in her eyes and she broke it off.
Second one, I proposed once, she said yes, and then when she called her parents the next day they refused to recognize the engagement and pushed her to cut it off. I hadn't met them.
Third time, same girl as second. We were engaged for a few months, even took our invite pictures. We were apart for 3 months before the wedding so I could complete a work project. During that time I had a crisis of conscience and felt like I needed a little more time. I asked her to push back the wedding, saying I loved her but I wasn't quite ready. She simply called it off. Absolutely gutted me. And I'm sure it wrecked her too. I suspect her parents had some influence, but in the end I think it was probably for the best.
Fourth time, new girl, three years later. We'd been best friends who fell into dating. I'd gotten a new job and was leaving town and wanted to take her with me to kinda start grown-up life together. So I proposed marriage. It was too early in the relationship (5 months) and it was a bad decision. She had a missionary opportunity that she took and left town.
Fifth time I proposed, new girl in a new town. We'd been dating a year. She said yes, and we have 3 kids and 13 mostly great years together.
TL;DR Keep trying.
LATE EDIT: 4 kids now.
#16
He (we were a gay couple) said no but I planned it that way. I'd been gone on a trip to Italy for a few months and had suspected he was cheating on me with his ex for awhile. While in Italy my best friend sent me pictures of them kissing at a bar.
The next day I bought the ring and flew back to the US. After I landed I proposed to him at the airport gate. He said no and I asked why not. He said it was too early. I showed him the picture of him and his ex and asked "You sure it isn't because you're a sack of trash?", took the ring back, and he moved out two weeks later.
#17
I said no because we're not ready! We've been long distance for 3 years now, and although we love each other very much, he knows I won't marry him until we're both settled in together. Still, he asks almost three times a week, and it's become a bit of a laugh for us. He tries to sneak the question in without me noticing, and I add ridiculous conditions to my yes.
I'm sure that when we decide to get married, he'll be too nervous to actually ask properly. He'll probably end up farting in bed and threatening to Dutch oven me if I don't say yes.
It's not all bad in "no" world.
#18
I proposed after dating my girlfriend for two years. I was about to graduate college and move away, and she was a year behind me.
I had the ring, everything perfectly planned, we discussed our future together. When I proposed, she initially said yes. About half an hour later, she seemed off. I asked her if anything was wrong, and she said she needed to think. We talked for awhile, and then she said changed her answer. She said we were too young, she wanted to be on her own for awhile, to be independent, etc...
Jokes on her though, because now we're married.
Edit: ok, didn't expect this much attention. To explain, yes, we are married to each other (and she does know). We stayed together afterward and another year later I proposed again, that time with a longer lasting success.
I just thought; if Turk from Scrubs, an incredibly immature, selfish guy can endure being rejected multiple times by the woman he loves, then I think I can at least maintain the same level of persistence in reality.
Edit2: For some added embarrassment, I proposed on day 2 of a 5 day trip we were on together. That, in retrospect, was poor planning. Trip was fun though!
#19
I turned down a proposal using the excuse that he was drunk. He was but I knew he was serious. I drove him home and tried the old 'I want to be friends' speech but he shut me down. He said if I didn't love him he would just have to get over me. And he got out of the car and walked away.
A day later I realized what a idiot I was being and I called him.
Tomorrow is our 26th anniversary.
#20
I had a couple of friends that had been seriously involved since college. They felt that marriage was a tool of the patriarchy, was only a piece of paper, etc. 6 years on and the relationship was still going strong.
They decided they wanted a kid. She got pregnant and things were going well. One night they had a serious discussion and decided that since there was going to be a baby they really needed to figure out the legal implications. They decided it was best if they got married so that there wouldn't be any question of who takes care of the kid if something happened to one of them etc.
A little while later the guy realized that he was going to get married but it was decided more or less in a discussion after weighing the costs and benefits. Not very romantic. He decided, "Eff it, if we're going to get married I should do this properly."
So he plans and makes a fancy meal, candles, wine (with champagne at the ready), the whole 9 yards. At what he thought was the right moment, got down on his knee, presented her with a ring, and asked her to marry him. She looked aside and said, "Actually, I've been thinking about that a little more..."
She turned him down. I learned about this when he called me up to vent. He was hot, anger was his go to emotion. She had already agreed, it should have been a great moment for the both of them but instead he felt humiliated and foolish. I couldn't blame him, after all she had already agreed to get married. Talk about a slam dunk marriage proposal lol.
They were still way into each other and did end up getting married once the kid was born. They've now been together for over 20 years but at the time I thought that their relationship was done.
#22
She said no and I ate the ringpop.
#23
I told my husband no the first time he asked. We were drunk and hadn't been dating long, so I thought he was joking. (He will swear to you that it was not a joke and that he would have taken me to Vegas that night if I'd said yes.)
The second time I said no, he was on R&R from deployment and I think he asked because it felt like the right thing to do since I was waiting for him to get back so we could continue dating (and not seeing anyone else while he was gone), not because he really wanted to get married.
He asked again almost as soon as he got back and I said no again, to take a few months and decompress and just date for a little while. We kept dating and talking about it and decided the time was right about six months later.
I am SO GLAD I said no all those times. Not because he wasn't the right one, but because he was and I didn't want us to mess it up by getting married before we were both totally sure.
#24
I had found out after we had broken up that she wanted me to ask her to marry her. I never did because I wanted to wait until I had my degree and had a real job to support both of us. I still lived with my mom but she didn't care. She would have said yes if I asked her. Fortunately we found out we were NOT good for each other a few years after and broke up. My buddy told me that apparently she confessed quite a bit to him that she was waiting for me to pop the question. I'm glad I didn't because we'd probably be divorced by now. But I'm an almost 30 year old man with a college degree and good job living with his mom posting on reddit at work... so... I got that goin' for me.
She's married now and I think expecting a kid.
I think I may be happier as a bachelor, I wasn't good at the relationship stuff.
*Update: Apparently people care more about my living situation than my failed relationship which is actually kind of interesting to me. I will say based on the page we're on this should be, and pretty much has been, a judgment free zone. I'm happy to answer any questions about both situations as long as it's respectful.*.
#25
So ever since I was little when I asked how my parents got engaged this is what I got.
"Yeah your father had to ask me three times to marry him before I said yes. It was at this beautiful restaurant so on and so forth."
Cool so my dad was denied twice and got accepted on the third go around. I asked my brothers and they agreed this is the story.
Nope
Turns out my parents suck at telling stories. My father took my mother out to a fancy restaurant and said "will you marry me."
My mother being dumb was like, "yes at some point we plan on getting married" and kept going on with her life.
Then right after my dad was like "dude will you marry me?" And my mother said "of course we will don't worry."
And then my dad decided Oh maybe I should get down on one knee type deal and my mother finally understood and accepted.
They only corrected us last year after they heard us tell my brothers fiancé how they got engaged and they were like no that's not true. I've been lied to.
Edit: I'm 21 and found out earlier this year. My brothers never knew the truth either.
#26
Me: If I asked you, would you say yes?
Her: Are you asking me?
Me: I guess I sort of am.
Her: Then yes.
Me: Oy. Now I've got to get a ring.
Her: Forget it. If that's you're first thought, now it's no.
A few months later I asked again more properly, and she said yes. We went a long run before divorcing.
#27
Dated this girl off and on for 12 years. Most recently we had been together 6 years. We're on a trip to the Philippines and we're swimming in this beautiful lagoon. I decide it's the perfect setting to propose. I begin with "hey baby" and she must have heard it in my voice because she turned around and said "doooon't do it". Took the wind out of my sail real quick. She eventually said yes a few months later in Australia.
#28
So my other half doesnt care for "pomp" or fuss or anything like that. Hates it all. So I told him to "book the registry office" then. That is how we are. He said no and said it wasnt a real proposal. Everyone he has spoken to has said it was a proposal.
Now we are in the stage where I am trying to find a way to ask more officially but its going slower.
#29
My then-girlfriend proposed to me on the leap day of 1992. I said no (I was too young to know better). We went our separate ways ... long story ... and came together again, now married 19 years. The result of saying no was 5 wasted years!
#30
I was proposed to by my ex boyfriend and accepted, then changed my mind the next day. We loved each other a lot, but we fought like cats and dogs. We stayed together for a couple of years after that, but he eventually broke it off, in a very vengeful way.
He married someone else after dating for only a year. They have been together for many years now, but they fight a lot, more than we did. He now recognizes that he was a stubborn, difficult person and that he wasn't a good partner. He regrets being such a difficult person with me but I am happy I dodged a bullet. I really don't like fighting with people who I am close to, or even in contact with every day. I prefer a more rational way of settling issues, with some give and take. Wow, the more I think about it, the happier I am I rejected him.
#31
My friend proposed with a ring his girlfriend had picked out. She said no, but kept the ring as a promise ring.
They are now happily married.
Auntriarch 2 hours ago (edited)
I don't understand this one, unless it was just a ring she fancied
#32
Turned down one guy because we didn't agree on how children should be raised.
Turned down another guy because he proposed after I had moved on from our relationship.
#33
Not a woman who turned down a proposal but I have a friend who did. I assume it had something to do with the fact that he was 50 years older than her. And she was 13. And he was drunk. And homeless. And he proposed with a potato.
#34
I'm not a woman but I am a man who has been turned down before. I did the whole shabang, even brought roses, but being in the fourth grade probably ruined it for me.
#35
So I own a company that deals with various precious gems and metals. We are vertically integrated and actually go through the entire supply chain of diamonds, from mining to cutting to retail, so I have a pretty intimate knowledge base and experience on the matter. It's really annoying that people don't understand this simple concept. The proposal is the surprise NOT the question of will she marry you. It boggles my mind how many people don't understand this. You TWO are getting married means you BOTH need to have talked about it. It's not a surprise like getting someone a puppy, which even that is a terrible idea if you haven't talked to the person about if they'd like the responsibility of being a dog owner. Honestly, if you propose, and your SO says "No" it's a good thing because you're clearly not ready to be married as you lack the very foundation... COMMUNICATION!
So, to all you women/men who've said "No" to guys/ladies that asked you without talking about it, even if you've been dating for 50 years, don't feel bad.
Now, let's say you've talked about the marriage and know you're getting a Yes. Make sure she is an active part of picking out the ring, go RING SHOPPING TOGETHER!!! This isn't some small purchase like curtains that she may not like. She will have this on her finger every single day for the rest of her life, make sure SHE loves it. Don't try to guess this. Chances are she may even be ecstatic and pretend she loves it but deep inside not like it. If she's a great girl it may not really be important to her, but in any case, it doesn't hurt for her to like what she's got on her finger. If you have already purchased a ring, MOST, retailers will allow a return within 90 days. I personally don't, but I also make sure I go through various conversations with clients about his/her relationship such as how long they've dated, why they intend to marry if they've talked about getting married and if the SO is part of the ring/diamond choice process. This way I mitigate any risk of returns short of rare instant annulments or call-offs.
#36
He was really drunk and I had never met him before. He bought me a drink and then asked the next girl. St Patrick's Day is a beautiful thing.
#37
We'd been dating long distance for two months when he called me and laid out his entire life plan for "us". We were to marry. Immediately. I would graduate school, become pregnant a lot while using my (art) degree to support our kids and his suddenly desired career in full time volunteer ministry work. Never mind our religious differences and my already stated intention to remain childless.
He didn't propose. Propose implies asking. He just stated it as fact and was honestly surprised when I objected.
None of this was in my life plan, at all, nor was it discussed between us prior. He broke up with me very shortly afterward, citing my supposed inability to be a 'reasonable, rational person' in light of my rejection of his unilateral propositions.
We were both in our early 20's. Bullet. Dodged.
#38
We'd been dating for three years, having some trouble and he wasn't interested in making any changes to work things out. He basically broke up with me, turned out I was relieved, then found out he was really just bluffing to 'teach me a lesson'. When he figured out that I was okay with breaking up, he proposed. Really pissed me off. I actually responded with 'I have a date this weekend'. I guess that was a little harsh, but don't propose out of desperation because you screwed up.
#39
We were 19 and in a crazy on/off relationship. At the time of the proposal we were off and in my head we were off for good.
He came to my house and begged for me to come back including a tear filled proposal.
I said no, got out of his truck and went back inside.
A month later he told me he was going to be a dad. He knocked someone up around the time he wanted me back.
#40
He asked me which Indiana Jones movies I liked. I told him the first and third ones were good, but didn't care for Temple of Doom (this was before the 4th one came out). Right then and there he got down on one knee and proposed to me with the taco he was about to eat. Five years later we're still dating.
Edit: It was a hard shell standard issue taco bell taco; it was later eaten but I don't remember by who. The whole thing was over shadowed when we walked outside and found the physics department assembling a trebuchet.
The answer was some day; being college students at the time and now working professionals we're not in a good financial or career spot to get married yet.
#41
Two friends in my old high-school clique dated for a couple months when we were all 14. We still remained friends after high-school but the guy never got over the girl, he was scary obsessed. Before we all went our separate ways for college, the dude came out of nowhere and asked me once if we were both single by 30 if I would agree to marry him. He was 100% serious. I said no thanks. I wasn't interested in him and he did it out of desperation and wanting to make his ex mad, because we were once best friends.
He eventually dated a whole bunch of unstable and (not to be cruel) very unfortunate looking women. He had low self-esteem and didn't take care of himself after the breakup. He actually married one a year or so before he turned 30. He spent most of his 20s harassing his old girlfriend, and driving by her house playing "their song" on the radio as loudly as possible. Cops were called.
Even at 30, He still stalks his high-school ex-girlfriend/my old friend from time to time and sits outside her place of work staring at her through the window, trying to get her attention. Yet again, she's had to call the cops a number of times. It's really awkward for her because she has to explain to her co-workers "Yeah, that's some guy I dated for 2 months when I was a freshman in high-school... can we get him out of here?".
#42
I said no because i honestly was not prepared for such commitment so early and that fast. We have been seeing each other for about a year I was 22 he was 24 and was always the super romantic kind of guy, Don't get me wrong i love this but it he was always rushing things way too early and too soon. Luckily he didn't plan a fancy proposal kind of thing just surprise asked me at home so I had to say no then. It didn't take long for us to break up eventually.
#43
He was already married, offered to get divorced for me, and asked me multiple times with a ring. I have no idea why in the hell he kept asking. We were coworkers and he saw me as a challenge, I think. So obviously, said no every time.
#44
When I was a little kid I didn't understand marriage obviously all I knew is you marry someone you love and I loved my mom so I would always ask her to marry me and it made me so sad when she would say no.
#45
It was simply a ridiculous suggestion. We had been on and off, he hadn't been speaking to me for months until about a week before the proposal, and we hadn't discussed even *dating* again and suddenly he was on one knee with an actual diamond ring.
#46
One guy - we worked together. Never dated until my divorce was final. He asked me to marry him less than 1 month after it was final. Nope. Nope. Nope.
#47
Not me personally, but one of my close girlfriends.
She was dating this guy for 8 years, he proposed, she said no because he wasn't going anywhere with his life (not sure if true, i only know he's been working in a retail store for years and gained a lot of weight).
Her saying no was just too hard to recover from, and they broke up. He's been doing a Facebook rampage about her, starting to work out and stuff, while she found someone who she seems to love dearly.
#48
We were 19. He proposed with a cubic zirconia ring and pretended to impress me (and all of our friends) by stating it was real.
In general, he was a chronic liar and cheater. Very insecure and seemed to be the type who wanted to "trap" someone into marriage. I was much more insecure and passive then.
He got married two months ago. Thank God I said no.
#49
We started dating two weeks into college and dated all through college. It was really REALLY rocky the last year or so. Because I didn't have an identity outside of "dudes girlfriend" I had trouble breaking it off. So I got a second job, enrolled in 18 hours, and decided I would get a 4.0. This was all done so I wouldn't see him as much. The fighting decreased because I was too busy with all that to sweat the small stuff.
Well, we stopped fighting because I didn't give a frick anymore. He believed that it was a good sign and popped the question on the way home from his parents house in Chicago. On the plane.
Worst flight ever. It was a good decision because it turned out he already had someone lined up and they were dating within a couple of weeks or so. He got her pregnant I think three months after we broke up.
Poor thing... I remember that she used to call me about their relationship problems, WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT FOR HIS CHILD, because I knew him better than she did.
It always struck me as insane that she was carrying his child, but also knew that she didn't know him well enough to know when he was lying. Who does that?
She was beautiful too. Just a wee bit dumb. Got caught up in the DJ ho mode I guess.
#50
My coworker turned down a guy when he proposed to her at work. She turned him down because they had finalized their divorce two months prior.
#51
Well it was a blonde girl at this hindu festival, we were there as a whole office party. I dated her for only maybe couple of weeks but while talking with some old married indian couple i decided to confess my love to her. I made it public, she said no, she wanted us to talk about it. Anyway, we broke up and now i'm dating my boss.
#52
My boyfriend just told me (in so many words) that I'm fine to sleep with and great to live with, but he isn't really interested in marrying me.
This was probably the wrong thread for me to dive into today.
#53
Not me, but someone I know.
At a high school reunion, I re-met the first girl I ever dated. Turns out she had just gotten engaged. But that wasn't so good.
First red flag: she had proposed to him, but he had said it wasn't her place to do that, so he brushed her off and then made her wait until he proposed to her.
Second red flag: She invited me to hang out with them one afternoon. He acted like a real immature jerk, and I hoped she knew what she was getting into.
They went ahead and got married, had kids, then his jerk routine got old and they got divorced. Now she's middle aged and on her own. Saw that coming way too clearly .... sigh.
#54
I denied my now husband the first time he proposed. At the time I assumed we would one day marry as we loved each other completely. However, we hadn't had that conversation yet. When he proposed I was so blown away and went through some sort of shock. Utter surprise is an understatement. I started crying and told him how much I loved him but I just needed to process the magnitude of what happened. We spent a long time just talking. We went on through the rest of the day by having a very nice day date. We spent more time talking about what I said and why. We were and still are very in love. He proposed again a month or so later, I said yes. That was 3 years ago. Our first baby will be here in February!
#55
Oh god. I have a story!
My good friend was dating this guy for nearly two years.
I could tell things were getting a bit stale with them, one day when we went out to get lunch she told me that she was going to break it off with the guy.
She seemed far more stressed about hurting the guy, he was an alright person in my book, but anyhoo she is telling me how she is going to do it and was asking for advice.
Right in the middle of me giving her some input, the guy comes in and looks a bit frantic, she must've told him that she was going there to meet me.
He musters up the courage and walks right to our table, completely ignoring me, gets on one knee and pulls out the ring. The dude was shaking so much, and I was in awe of the worst timing ever, that my mouth was open in shock. People around that I was excited so everyone gathers around the table starts cheering, the guy asks my friend and my friend just got up and walked out to her car and drove off.
I almost passed from second-hand embarrassment .All I remember if gasps and snickering from the people near me and he just sat in her place looking crushed. I didn't know what to say. I feel kinda bad so I just got the check ASAP and gave him a pat on the back.
He is doing better, the last I heard, this has been about a year now.
My friend is still recovering from the whole ordeal lol.
#56
I'm proposing today. I will hopefully not report back.
EDIT: I'm not d**d yet. I want to go for a walk!
Seriously though, I'm proposing tonight around 8pm CT. I likely won't update this until tomorrow with the results, but I will keep you all updated. Thanks everyone for the best wishes and encouragement!
Edit 2: I'm only here for a minute! She said yes! Will post pictures later!
Edit 2.5: Pictures, as promised. Sorry for the potato quality. http://imgur.com/a/jfKms
I will likely post one final update tonight with the story, for those of you still interested! Thank you all so much for your support! It really helped my nerves yesterday to know I had so much support from so many internet friends.
Final Update: First, thank you guys so much for all of the encouragement and best wishes! It really meant a ton to me, and to my fiancé (I'm totally just using that BECAUSE I CAN!) as well when I showed her!
So, my birthday is in a few weeks, and I decided to use that as the cover for the proposal (fiancé saw through that until halfway through the night... but I'm getting ahead of myself) and an excuse to get all dressed up. My brother and his wife took us out to dinner at one of the classier places in town at 6:30. The fiancé and I met them at their house early so we could all ride together, for the sake of simplifying the return. The stated plan was to go to dinner, then go back to my family's house to watch a movie by a bonfire in their little grove, where we would be joined by my other brother and his wife. What was really happening was that we were using the sheet to conceal a small group of our friends who were there to (hopefully) celebrate with us when she said yes.
The brother who was supposed to be joining us at the house for the movie was actually there to receive the guests and hide their vehicles, as well as to show them where to hide, etc. He had the fire already made. My fiancé sat down by it immediately. I stood next to her, mentally prepping for the moment. My brother nodded to me, asking if I was ready. I gave him the confirmation, and he dropped the sheet. I wish I had a picture of the exact moment, because the look on her face was perfect. I think it will always be engraved in my memory. At first, she didn't know what was happening, and thought the sheet had been knocked down by accident. Then she realized there were people behind the sheet. After another moment, she realized they weren't my family, but our friends. I remember saying something like "This isn't actually my birthday party." and then dropping to one knee. Here's [a photo from during my speech](http://imgur.com/a/dMyuA), which I barely remember making. She started crying, then said yes, then I tried to put the ring on her finger.
I'm going to pause here, because there was a beautiful surprise from my brother at this moment. First, some context is necessary. I lost my mom to breast cancer when I was 15. My brother asked for her engagement ring as a token to remember her by, and planned to hand it down to one of his children someday. Instead, he secretly had it repaired and resized for my fiancé's finger and swapped it with the ring I'd purchased; because I don't make a ton of money, I'd chosen to get a very simple band to propose with. I didn't really like the idea, because I wanted her to be able to show off her engagement ring.
Anyway, back to the story. When I tried to offer her the ring, she said, "I don't care! Just hug me!" through tears. I stood up, but had already started to take the ring out of the box. I realized at this moment that the ring in my hand had something on it. I had a brief moment of panic because I thought I had accidentally left the price tag on the ring I got. Then I realized that I was holding onto the very edge of something solid, and that there was a stone on this ring. I gave my brothers a super perplexed look, trying to process what had happened.
I embraced the girl, and then kissed the girl, and then embraced her again for what was probably an awkwardly long time for everyone watching on. The rest of the evening was spent celebrating and talking with our friends by the fire. While we were talking, she mentioned to me that she had kind of expected me to propose that night, but thought I would do it at dinner. When I failed to do so, she second-guessed herself, and thought it must have actually been just a birthday part for me. I am so glad I managed to surprise her in the end. It was wonderful and emotional. I am so excited to be engaged, and I can't wait to marry this woman!
TL;DR: We had dinner with my brother and his wife, then went back to their house with the stated goal of watching a movie on a projector by a bonfire, but really, the "projector screen" was hiding a group of our friends who were waiting to celebrate with us! It was awesome!
What do you think ?
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