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Someone Asks “What Are Some Immediate Red Flags In Women That Men Should Look Out For?”, And 30 Women Share Honest Answers
It's important to keep an open mind when you start dating someone. Sure, you might find it odd that they prefer walking only on your left or getting out of bed after the 12th alarm, but these things aren't exactly deal breakers.
Real dating warning signals tend to be more complex than habits you could pass off as behavioral quirks. So, to get a better understanding of where people draw the line, Redditor YummyYmir asked all the females on the platform what they believe to be immediate red flags in women that men should look out for. From not having girlfriends to emotional blackmail, we thought you'd also be interested in hearing the answers, so we put together the most popular ones into a list.
Continue scrolling to check it out and if you want to see men exploring the same topic, fire up our earlier publication here.
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#1
Women who are aggressive and slap or hit others then say "you can't hit a woman."
You can't hit anyone Stacy.
#2
A woman who loves the saying, "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best," or something like that. I understand the premise, that a relationship needs to be handle all the up's and down's. However, I find that woman who really love this saying tend to be rather mean, abusive, belittling, etc. at their 'worst'. No one deserves that.
Lauren Caswell 2 years ago
when you are at your worst, you are still responsible for any hurt or damage, physical or emotional, your worst causes.
#3
Emotional blackmail. Threatening to harm self each time anything doesn’t go her way. Threatening to tell the whole world something that’s private between the two of you whenever anything goes wrong.
#4
Not necessarily immediate, but having size or $$ requirements for the wedding ring is usually a bad sign.
#5
Princess mentality.
Trust me dealing with that is not worth it.
“I get whatever I want”
Ew
#6
Same as guys. If all the ex boyfriends or husbands are crazy and she says she hates drama, she is crazy and starts drama.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago
Just look at who is the constant in the equation, and you’ll have your answer.
#7
"You don't have to use a condom" Isn't always a trap. But if it's early in the relationship, it should be troublesome.
Chucky Cheezburger 2 years ago
Hearing "You don't have to use a condom" is a sure sign that you definitely SHOULD use one!
#9
Women (or men) who put people through s**t just to see if they pass the test. My friend used to create problems just to ‘test’ other people. Romantic relationships as well as friendships. She’d only admit it was a test afterwards when you inevitability failed and realized she was lying.
#10
For men and for women, rigid gender roles. Someone who sees you more as a gender than as a person brings a whole host of problems with that mindset.
M O'Connell 2 years ago
I look forward to fighting with my future partner about which of us changes the oil in the car because we both want to do it.
#11
Pretending to act dumb because she thinks it’s cute.
#12
Women who go from relationship to relationship without time to be single are usually trouble. Same goes for women who change their identity with each relationship. It doesn’t mean they’re bad people, but they clearly have issues to work through, if their self-esteem is validated through male attention.
#13
Expecting you to read their mind!
I'm bi and have dated a few women seriously.
I unfortunately seemed to have a type- charismatic and very social women who were also passive aggressive. They all expected me to just know when and why they were mad at me, as they would become cool and distant with me, they'd sometimes stop returning calls for periods of time, and their facial expression would appear angry. BUT, when I asked what was wrong,, repeatedly, they would only say " nothings wrong". They'd make me beg and plead to find out what was wrong. It was infuriating.
The last womani seriously dated decided she was just going to not take my calla suddenly for a number of days. I just got fed up and never called her again/ ended things that way. She tried to call me eventually but I'd just screen her calls and let them go to voice-mail. I was so done with the games
All women are NOT like this. But I definitely had to rethink what sort of ladies I was dating.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
Anyone, man or woman, who expects everyone around them—-and most especially their SO—-to be so tuned into them they can read their mind and “just know” what they want or what they’re thinking all the damn time, is only setting themselves up for a frustrating and disappointing life. People have their own lives and concerns, and aren’t tuning into you and your whiny b******t 24/7/365. Once in a great while other people might correctly guess, but don’t count on that as the birth of their mind reading abilities when it comes to you. So, open your goddamned mouth and communicate what you want, what you feel, what you need. As long as you don’t become demanding, the rest of us, well most of the rest of us at least, will be more than happy to accommodate you. Within reason, that is. Just don’t push it too far and start taking advantage or expecting it all the time, or we’ll stop it in a f*****g instant and leave.
#14
A woman who wants to move in right away. Who discourages you from seeing your friends and who slowly stops you from doing what you want.
It’s a MF trap.
Watched it happen to a friend of mine. It was heartbreaking
#15
If she always wants to be around you and gets irrationally angry with you when you want to leave for a bit..
Red flag..
#16
“If you really loved me, you’d know.”
#17
When they put other women down and hang out with men all the time, to be like “one of the boys”. There’s som deep misogyny going on and most of the time that girl is VERY insecure. Trust me, I was that girl.
#18
Anyone who tells other people about your private conversations. I mean, it's one thing if you tell a good joke and they want to pass it on, but you should be able to confide in them about serious topics without fear they'll run off and tell someone else. This goes for friendships, too.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago
I’m 61. There are secrets people told me back in grade school that I have yet to divulge—-and, no, I’m not going to here and now—-even though they stopped mattering decades ago.
#19
Expecting the man to "entertain" her on a date and arrange all logistics and events. Note: it is not a bad thing if a guy wants to surprise his date with something fun, or do something thoughtful, or plan something special. The problem is when the woman does constantly expects her boyfriend to arrange everything, like he's a concierge at a hotel, especially if she does not reciprocate. Worst is when the woman provides no input about what she'd like to do and then sulks when the man does not use ESP to divine her wishes.
Mary Elliott 2 years ago
Flip side: when your boyfriend asks you what you want to do, then shoots down everything you suggest. Why did they even ask? This is the most common reason women leave the plans up to men. So we don't have to listen to you whining and crying about what we planned for you.
#20
Not having any girlfriends because “I don’t get along with women.”
#21
When they insist that a lack of personal space equals to you not paying them enough attention. Like you can like/love someone without having to spend all your hours glued to them, or hanging on to everythingthey say.
Chucky Cheezburger 2 years ago
OMG yes...A healthy relationship is one where there is room for everyone to be themselves and enjoy their own likes as well as be a couple( or triple or whatever floats your boat)
#22
When she constantly belittle every other woman around her just to show off how "special" and "different" she is. Once in a while is ok I guess, but if she's always like that then there's a problem.
#23
Passive-aggressiveness to get her way. Like the silent treatment, guilt trips, etc. Until you're isolated or find yourself doing only things with/for her. It's like... emotional abuse and happens to men all the time but no one seems to care.
Bored Retsuko 2 years ago
I feel like adding it's done by all genders, and it happens to all genders.
#24
When every photo on her IG page is a selfie of some sort.
#25
They expect you to “rescue them” from their abusive exes/untreated mental health problems/shitty childhood.
A lot of women fantasize about the perfect man who never hurts her or burdens her with his needs. And he’s going to be the amazing guy who deals with all the anxiety and paranoia and baggage she has from abusive exes.
Remember that you’re human too and you deserve to be treated like a human and not someone’s white knight
Mama Panda 2 years ago
Honestly, I think a lot of women who have experienced childhood trauma/abuse and/or domestic violence are looking for a man that isn't going to keep them in the constant survival mode they live their lives in. I don't think it's a red flag per se. It's not so much that the SO needs are a burden but instead more of a desire to love and be loved without pain. I speak from personal experience.
#26
If she thinks she can control you/ win you over through sex. I had a friend that would say; I'm going to Fu*k him so good that he will fall in love with me. She would usually say this if it was their first date.
#27
When she gets mad at you for saying no to her. I'm not just talking about big things, if she throws a fit because you cancelled one plan, run. There are a lot of women out there that are more than ready to turn down guys but get real pissed when someone else tells them no. More trouble than its worth, and that lack of accepting no's *will* become a problem later on. One of my old high school friends was like this, she acted as if her boyfriends should always do her bidding and that they were bad people if their worlds didn't revolve around her.
Zelda Sterling 2 years ago
Some of these serve to only strengthen the idea of gender fluidity. I understand the title of the thread, but the longer this list goes on, the more obvious these can be found in people of any gender becomes.
#28
love bombing right after meeting for the first time
#29
I'm a guy, but I thought that I'd add something here anyways.
The red flag is extreme sensitivity to shame and pride. These are textbook examples of clinical narcissism and believe me when I tell you that you are not prepared for the myriad ways that dating a narcissist will f**k you up.
#30
Calls herself an empath, and says she’s more in touch with emotions than other people.
What do you think ?
B-b-bird 2 years ago (edited)
There's one good big old red flag if he's (she's) saying "oh, my ex was craaazy...". In my case I heard it once and there was no need to continue, but he goes on further "she called a police on me, imagine? then I was not allowed to see her again". Heard later that this dude who accused his ex of being crazy, was a stalker and had some anger management issues. Listen to your gut, if someone calls their ex crazy, run, because next "crazy" will be you.
B-b-bird 2 years ago (edited)
There's one good big old red flag if he's (she's) saying "oh, my ex was craaazy...". In my case I heard it once and there was no need to continue, but he goes on further "she called a police on me, imagine? then I was not allowed to see her again". Heard later that this dude who accused his ex of being crazy, was a stalker and had some anger management issues. Listen to your gut, if someone calls their ex crazy, run, because next "crazy" will be you.
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