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“We’re Done”: Women Over 40 Officially Share What They’re No longer Willing To Tolerate
Interview With Expert
Everyone’s got opinions, sure, that’s normal. But here’s the thing: not every thought needs to be shared, especially when no one has asked for it. You don’t get a gold star for offering unsolicited advice to strangers at the grocery store or weighing in on someone’s outfit like you’re the fashion police. Sometimes, the kindest (and smartest) thing to do is zip it and sip your coffee.
That’s exactly the energy Melani brings to TikTok. She’s the founder of the “We Do Not Care Club,” a community for women navigating perimenopause and menopause. Her daily videos are packed with honesty and humor, and the comment section? A goldmine of women sharing the things they’ve stopped caring about entirely. Get ready to laugh, nod, and maybe join the club yourself.
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#1
I do not care if people think my legs are too fat for shorts. It's hot. You're lucky I'm wearing anything.
RELATED:
#2
We don't care that we want to be home all day on our days off! Everything I like is at home. I paid for it, Imma stay in it!
#3
We do not care if we have pet hair all over our clothes. Our pets are the only people we like
A person’s body goes through a lot of changes as they age: some expected, some surprising. But when it comes to women, those changes can feel especially intense. Hormones shift, energy levels dip, and moods? Let’s just say it’s a ride. One of the biggest transitions comes when the menstrual cycle starts winding down, and menopause enters the chat.
That’s where perimenopause kicks in, it’s the often confusing bridge between regular periods and full menopause. To understand what’s really going on during this life shift, Bored Panda spoke with Dr. Alka Pradhan, a general physician with over 30 years of experience running her clinic in Mumbai.
“Earlier, women usually hit perimenopause at a specific age,” she shared. “But nowadays, lifestyle changes have started shifting that timeline. You can begin showing symptoms much earlier.” Late nights, stress, and lack of exercise don’t just tire us, they may be accelerating the process. And the signs? They don’t always announce themselves politely.
#4
We do not care if a side part or a middle part is the hot trend. We style our hair whatever way the wind blows.
#5
Logging in from the Paris, France chapter of the WDNC club. We do not care if carbs and butter are 'bad' for us. Give us the damn croissant and nobody gets hurt.
#6
I do not care if my resting b—— face offends anyone. It's my face, it's not going to change right now.
Let’s talk about periods. “If you’ve noticed they’re getting irregular, maybe longer gaps, shorter cycles, heavier or surprisingly light flow, you might want to pay attention. Skipping periods might feel like a break, but it could also mean your body’s gearing up for a new phase. These changes can be frustrating, especially if you’ve always had predictable cycles. But they’re often one of the first big flags,” says Dr. Pradhan.
Another classic sign: your body suddenly decides it’s living in a sauna. She adds, “Hot flashes and night sweats can sneak up out of nowhere. You’re bundled in blankets one minute and flinging them off the next.” And sleep? Insomnia or constantly waking up tired becomes a common complaint. Dr. Pradhan says these temperature swings are all hormonal; it is just your body adjusting to the new normal.
#10
WDNC about washing instructions. If it can’t survive a cold wash and a dry cycle, then it wasn’t for me anyway
#12
I’m POST menopausal- I’m in. I could stay in my room w/o people, in sweats, with a book for YEARS! I don’t care about clean ANYthing! I am exerting my DOMINANCE after 70 years of service! NO is my new word!
It’s not just physical, either. Mentally, this phase can feel like an emotional rollercoaster. “Mood swings, anxiety, depression, and even forgetfulness are common,” says Dr. Pradhan. Some women worry they’re losing their grip when, in reality, it’s just their hormones talking. Trouble focusing or remembering things isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a symptom, and knowing that helps you handle it better.
#13
I don't not care if the 26 year old I work with thinks I "spoke mean" to her. And I don't care that my 28 year old manager had to talk to me about it.
#14
I don't care that I have a California king and I sleep on one half and the other half is a two-week pile of clothes out of the dryer.
#15
WDNC Club....I finally found my people!!!!! WDNC if anyone can tell if we don't have a bra on under the hoodie. The hoodie is an automatic exemption from a bra.
Then there are changes many hesitate to talk about: things like vaginal dryness and painful intercourse. “These symptoms can impact self-esteem and relationships,” Dr. Pradhan explains. But it’s important to know they’re both common and treatable. Opening up about these issues, even with a friend or doctor, makes a huge difference. You deserve to feel good in your body, no matter the stage.
#17
I do not care that this club is for perimenopause/menopause women and I’m in my 20s, I relate to everything
#18
I do not care to wear high heels anymore. flats and flip flops are the way to go. I do not care to follow fashion trends
Now, let’s clarify something. People often confuse perimenopause and menopause. Yes, the symptoms overlap, but they are not the same. Perimenopause is the body’s transition phase, a warm-up act, if you will. Menopause, on the other hand, is the moment your periods officially stop, like a final curtain call. Both come with hormonal highs and lows, but they mean different things biologically.
#19
I don't care that I came home.. got in the bed at 5 o'clock.. ate potato chips and raisins for dinner..and am fully under these covers
#21
We do not care if it says 'Not Dishwasher Safe.' It’s about to learn some hard lessons in this house
“The intensity and duration of symptoms vary for every woman,” says Dr. Pradhan. Some breeze through it, while others wrestle with it daily. Understanding your body’s rhythms can help you cope and prepare. It’s not about bracing for chaos, it’s about managing it with confidence.
#22
We do not care if the AC is on 60. Don’t touch that fan. If you're cold, get an extra blanket. I’m good.
#23
I do not care how long it takes for me to put my wallet back into my purse after I pay for my groceries. Your turn starts when I am finished. Don't rush me.
#24
WDNC about folding our fitted sheets. I’m rolling them up in a ball and throwing them in the dresser. They will straighten themselves out!
So, what can you do to make it easier? “A healthy diet and regular physical activity are the best starting points,” Dr. Pradhan advises. Whole foods, hydration, and a bit of movement every day go a long way. It’s not just about looking good, it’s about feeling better from the inside out. Managing weight, boosting mood, and sleeping well all get easier with small, consistent habits.
#26
WDNC if we forget the name of something. We will make a new word for it, and you will have to understand what I meant.
#27
WDNC about not having a husband at 50 hell they more or a responsibility at this age then a child
Whether you're just entering perimenopause or deep in the throes of it, one thing's for sure: you're not alone. Millions of women are navigating the same weird, wild ride. So, talk to your doctor, chat with friends, and join online communities.
Menopause or not, these women are laying it all out, things they’re just done tolerating. This list is honest, bold, and eye-opening. Got something you’re tired of hearing too? Drop it in the comments, and let’s keep the list growing!
#28
I do not care that I haven't showered in 3 days. I'm not going anywhere. Tomorrow I will. Today? Nope.
#29
And I don’t care about the perfect kitchen/bathroom/bedroom beige Pinterest aesthetic. I’m too old and tired. WDNC club.
#30
We do not care if we repeat the same story twice. If it was good once, it'll be better the second time.
#38
We do not care what healthy salad, vegan, vegetarian, gluten-free, lactose-free rubbish our co-workers are having for lunch. Just let me eat my lasagne in peace!"
#39
As an Eastern Canadian chapter applicant, We do not care that our Governments want to fight about terrifs. We just want the Mcdonalds ice cream maker to work when we pull up in a 7 seater with 9 kids.
#40
WDNC about your FaceBook post about how proud you are that your son or daughter has graduated from kindergarten.
#44
My grandson is eating marshmallows and I'm eating raisin bread. Dinner is served. We do not care!
#46
I do not care that my pants are orange and my sandals are pink. This is what I wore today. WDNC.
#53
I do not care that I haven't seen or spoke to my husband in 2 weeks,and we live in the same house
#54
Hey, Tennessee division here. We Do Not Care if our car is clean or dirty. It's just a car.
#55
I woke up wiped my face with a make up wipe, threw my not washed hair up and put some different shorts on with the shirt I slept in…stayed that way all day! I do not care!
#56
I do not care that I travel with my hot flash fan and break it out everywhere I go! I’m hot! I’m sweaty! I DON’T care!
#59
I do not care that you are cold, in the house or my office…it’s HOT and I am eyes are sweating to don’t touch my thermostat or my fans
#61
Hello,My name is Karen…and no I’m not crazy Karen but I don’t care bout nothing but surviving every day.
#62
I do not care that my toes are half unpainted and I have flip flops on. I’m too old for this today.
#63
I do not care that I wear crocs everywhere at least my feet don’t hurt at the end of the day
#65
I do not care that I’ve not had matching socks on in 2 years cause my dryer keeps eating them or maybe they’re under my bed.
#70
I don’t care that the polish is gone on my big toes. My feet hot so sandals it is. I don’t care.
What do you think ?
Lyone Fein 9 months ago
I do not care that my body hair is socially unacceptable. I am not shaving my legs any more.
Lyone Fein 9 months ago
I do not care that my body hair is socially unacceptable. I am not shaving my legs any more.
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