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Grandma Asks For A Bit More Free Time From Babysitting 5 Kids, Daughters Lose It
Older woman with short gray hair and glasses looking frustrated and raising hands indoors near window, feeling stuck babysitting kids
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Grandma Asks For A Bit More Free Time From Babysitting 5 Kids, Daughters Lose It

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Being constantly on call is exhausting even for work. But when you’re retired and it’s your family who treats you like a free on-demand nanny, the strain can feel much heavier.

Last week, one Mumsnet user made a post on the platform, asking others if she was being unreasonable for wanting to reduce the amount of time she spends caring for her grandchildren.

The woman explained that while she agreed to help with school and holiday childcare, the arrangement has left her feeling “trapped,” unable to visit friends or see her son in London.

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    Grandparents can help a family with childcare whenever parents are overwhelmed, and a lot of the time, they are happy to do so

    Image credits: choreograph / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

    But this retired grandmother feels like her daughters are taking advantage of her

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    Image credits: Wavebreakmedia / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: lucigerma / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: djoronimo / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: NannyNinn

    A lot of families rely on grandparents to help with childcare

    Image credits: nd3000 / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

    It’s hard to imagine how someone can place such a huge burden on their loved ones without honest conversations and hearing about the type of support they are not just willing, but also able, to provide.

    According to a survey from the UK, where the author of the post is from, more than half (57%) of parents with children under the age of thirteen rely on childcare support from at least one grandparent.

    The research also found that half (50%) live fewer than five miles from their child’s nearest grandparent, and seven in ten (68%) live within a 30-minute journey.

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    And when you look solely at parents who are less than half an hour away, the share of those who rely on grandparents’ help rises to more than seven in ten (72%).

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    However, only a third (36%) of parents who have grandparent support said they could not afford to be without it, and nearly two-fifths (19%) of parents reported that, since having children, they had moved closer to their grandparents, while 11% are currently planning to do so.

    And as long as it doesn’t become overwhelming to them, seeing their grandkids can be a wonderful and fulfilling part of their lives

    Image credits: shapoval08 / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

    Data from the National Poll on Healthy Aging, based at the University of Michigan’s Institute for Healthcare Policy and Innovation, suggests that people with at least one grandchild are more likely than those without grandchildren to say they hardly ever feel isolated.

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    In all, 72% of those with grandchildren say they hardly ever feel isolated, compared with 62% of those without grandchildren. People without grandchildren are also more likely to say their mental health is fair or poor compared with those who have grandchildren (13% versus 9%).

    “For many older people, becoming a grandparent is a major milestone in their lives. Our findings show there are many dimensions to grandparenting, and possible positive effects of grandparenting, some of which may not be widely recognized,” says Kate Bauer, Ph.D., an associate professor of Nutritional Sciences in the U-M School of Public Health who worked with the poll team.

    Hopefully, the author of the post and her family can find an arrangement that works for everyone, as childcare should never come at the expense of a person’s well-being.

    People who read the lady’s story said she’s not being unreasonable

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

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    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Author, Senior Writer

    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

    Viktorija Ošikaitė

    Viktorija Ošikaitė

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    I'm a senior visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

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    Viktorija Ošikaitė

    Viktorija Ošikaitė

    Author, Community member

    I'm a senior visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

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    Shelly Fourer

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    Shelly Fourer

    Shelly Fourer

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    Hey there! I'm Shelly, a Visual Editor at Bored Panda

    What do you think ?
    🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    3 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Call their bluff. Let them go to their father for five day a week childcare and school costs. I really don't think he'd want to provide that. Worst case scenario, you just end up spending more time with your son's children!

    Xenia Harley
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And stop paying the fees for school etc. if they stop sending the kids!

    Load More Replies...
    The_Nicest_Misanthrope
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your daughters sound like c***s. Let their other grandma take the kids if she's so wonderful

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's hard to change the family dynamics, and clearly the daughters are used to walking all.over their mum, but at some point everyone needs to grow up, even OP. If in person is too difficult send an email or text, with your availablity, explain it's for your health and they are adults they can figure it out Then book a trip the first time there's going to be conflict and have a holiday. Then you can be bullied and they will get some rage out before you have to see them again

    Load More Comments
    🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    3 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Call their bluff. Let them go to their father for five day a week childcare and school costs. I really don't think he'd want to provide that. Worst case scenario, you just end up spending more time with your son's children!

    Xenia Harley
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And stop paying the fees for school etc. if they stop sending the kids!

    Load More Replies...
    The_Nicest_Misanthrope
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your daughters sound like c***s. Let their other grandma take the kids if she's so wonderful

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's hard to change the family dynamics, and clearly the daughters are used to walking all.over their mum, but at some point everyone needs to grow up, even OP. If in person is too difficult send an email or text, with your availablity, explain it's for your health and they are adults they can figure it out Then book a trip the first time there's going to be conflict and have a holiday. Then you can be bullied and they will get some rage out before you have to see them again

    Load More Comments
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