“Did I Maybe Overstep?”: Woman Tells Friend To Call Off Wedding, Gets Dragged Online
We depend on our closest friends for their unfaltering honesty. Whether your daring hairstyle of the day is a fashion faux pas or if you have made a rather odious choice, your BFF will have no qualms about giving it to you straight. But there are situations when honest talk could bring about misunderstandings and disagreements.
Just like in the case of this woman, who turned to the internet for advice after a tough conversation with her best friend. During her bachelorette party, the bride-to-be shared some big news—she was pregnant. But the groom-to-be had no idea. Concerned about the secrecy, the author suggested her friend come clean before the wedding. Keep reading to see how it all played out.
Deciding to have a child is a choice that both partners should make together
Image credits: Eko Agalarov / pexels (not the actual photo)
A woman shared how she advised her soon-to-be-married friend to tell her fiancé about her pregnancy before the wedding
Image credits: Pressmaster / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image source: PushHappy7055
Pregnancy emotionally and mentally impacts both partners, making it essential for them to navigate the experience together
Deciding to have a baby is one of the most life-changing decisions a couple can make. It’s not just about the happiness of bringing a new life, but the transition, the hurdles, and the responsibilities that come with parenthood. What often gets overlooked is that this decision should be shared, involving both partners equally. After all, becoming a parent affects both the mother and the father in profound ways.
When a couple decides to have a baby, it’s not just the mother who goes through emotional changes; the father does too. Research shows that becoming a parent can be stressful for both partners, and it can impact their mental health.
New moms often experience a mix of joy, anxiety, and even depression, and dads may go through something like that, too. They might worry about providing for the family or feel anxious about the changes a baby will bring.
Interestingly, studies have found that dads who are involved in the decision to have a baby tend to feel more prepared and less stressed when the baby arrives. If a couple decides to have a baby together, they are most probably going to be emotional support for each other, and this lowers the risk of having postpartum anxiety and depression.
We all know that pregnancy and childbirth are physically demanding on the mother, but the decision to have a baby also has financial implications for both parents. Raising a child isn’t cheap, and the financial burden can be significant. However, when both mother and father are prepared, they are able to manage the financial strain in a better way.
Dads are more likely to be present and engaged if they’re involved from the very beginning of the pregnancy
Plus, when dads are involved from the start, there is an advantage because they get to participate actively from the beginning and are more likely to do their share of the work, and that helps to reduce mothers’ burdens.
At the heart of this major decision is communication. Before making any decision regarding having a child, it is vital for couples to air their feelings, apprehensions, and hopes fully. When one person in a relationship is not ready or willing to go through the process, such feelings should be nipped in the bud. Without these discussions, one person might feel unsupported or overwhelmed, leading to potential fights.
This level of commitment by both parties not only enhances the couple’s relationship but also prepares them for future family responsibilities. Deciding to have a baby shouldn’t be a one-sided choice. It’s a decision that will affect both partners deeply, so it’s important to approach it as a team.
In this situation, the groom-to-be has no idea about the big change coming his way. Do you think it’s fair for the bride-to-be to keep this a secret? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Many online felt that the author had overstepped her boundaries
A few people believed that the author did the right thing by being honest with the bride-to-be
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Super weird she told her friends but not her fiancée. My husband would be the first to know then everyone else. OP is also being super weird about the situation.
I think Daisy wants to surprise Max on their wedding night or something. Like it's a gift. One would hope that she knows him well enough to know that he'll be happy about it.
Load More Replies...She argues that her friend has been hiding it for 2 months when she is all of 2 months pregnant? Friend probably discovered it in the last bleeping week at the most. This more than anything tells me she is just a trouble maker.
I don’t know why Daisy told her friends before her fiancé. Why didn’t she let them know after she had already told him? That’s weird to me. But if Daisy wants to wait and surprise Max then that’s her choice. She knows him better than OP.
Load More Replies...Surely he's agrees to a baby if he's had unprotected seggs with her
Accidents happen. But if they're planning on kids, there's nothing wrong here. I don't know why OP thinks that we can time conception down to the convenient minute. Yes, birth control can be somewhat effective, but sometimes babies just come when they come. And six months after a wedding isn't a bad time for a baby to come to two people who love each other and want a family together.
Load More Replies...I find very strange the idea that she share the news with her friends and not her partner. I hope she doesn't think to spring the surprise during the wedding... Imagine that he doesn't react right, maybe he froze or doesn't know what to say or has a brain fart in front of everyone.
She just found out and had a bachelorette at a vineyard already booked. She had to tell them why she wasn’t drinking at her own bachelorette. They would have guessed pregnancy right away anyways.
Load More Replies...The bride is TA - this is big news you tell your partner first, not your friends! And tbh, I didn't tell anyone until the first ultrasound at 11 weeks. The first check to see if the baby is healthy. Many miscarriages happen before that time. Also, is she going to get checkups alone? She is deliberately denying het fiance a choice. It's not about the wedding, even if there wasn't a wedding: tell your partner first if you really see him as an equal, as your partner! This is not a surprise like: surprise, I got you that game you wanted or that rare book. It's: surprise, you missed the first check ups, you missed the excitement, you missed the chance of getting for me/understanding my tiredness.
It is terrible that there is still such a stigma around miscarriage. Don't tell anyone until 12 weeks?! God forbid women get the support and help they need if they do have a miscarriage. We should be able to talk about it without blame or shame. As long as the mother is not experiencing any issues, checkups don't start until 8-11 weeks anyway and the window for the important disability tests (if they are even still allowed to have them in their country) is still very much open at two months. I'm not a fan of public announcements but she's not denying the husband choice in anything. If they've made the choice to have children together then they have made that choice.
Load More Replies...You people are crazy if you believe that the male partner has no opinion or rights to his partner's pregnancy.
Do you not understand the difference between OPINION and rights? He can have his opinion on if she should keep the baby or not. But if his opinion contradicts hers, then she gets to make the call. That's her rights. He does not have the right to override her wishes and force her to carry or abort the child.
Load More Replies...I agree with OP - Max should know, the sooner the better. Just cuz he wants kids doesn't mean he wants them 7 months from the wedding.
Don’tcha dose Daisy knows better than ALL OF US what Max wants? Whatta buncha busybodies. It’s no one’s business besides Max’s and daisy’s!
Load More Replies...She sounds very jealous & probably unhappy about her own life. Very strange "friend".
That's what I feel. First, yes, I would tell my husband before my best friend. Second, my best friend would ask me about me, how I feel about it, what I need. My friend's first thought would not be, "well, is your husband happy about it?" and if I said I didn't tell him, she would say, that's dumb, tell him first! She would be concerned that he felt left out, not that I was baby trapping the poor helpless man.
Load More Replies...I don't like how it was handled by OP, but she should be telling him before they get married. The people saying OP is trying to force an abortion are taking it to another level.
Super weird she told her friends but not her fiancée. My husband would be the first to know then everyone else. OP is also being super weird about the situation.
I think Daisy wants to surprise Max on their wedding night or something. Like it's a gift. One would hope that she knows him well enough to know that he'll be happy about it.
Load More Replies...She argues that her friend has been hiding it for 2 months when she is all of 2 months pregnant? Friend probably discovered it in the last bleeping week at the most. This more than anything tells me she is just a trouble maker.
I don’t know why Daisy told her friends before her fiancé. Why didn’t she let them know after she had already told him? That’s weird to me. But if Daisy wants to wait and surprise Max then that’s her choice. She knows him better than OP.
Load More Replies...Surely he's agrees to a baby if he's had unprotected seggs with her
Accidents happen. But if they're planning on kids, there's nothing wrong here. I don't know why OP thinks that we can time conception down to the convenient minute. Yes, birth control can be somewhat effective, but sometimes babies just come when they come. And six months after a wedding isn't a bad time for a baby to come to two people who love each other and want a family together.
Load More Replies...I find very strange the idea that she share the news with her friends and not her partner. I hope she doesn't think to spring the surprise during the wedding... Imagine that he doesn't react right, maybe he froze or doesn't know what to say or has a brain fart in front of everyone.
She just found out and had a bachelorette at a vineyard already booked. She had to tell them why she wasn’t drinking at her own bachelorette. They would have guessed pregnancy right away anyways.
Load More Replies...The bride is TA - this is big news you tell your partner first, not your friends! And tbh, I didn't tell anyone until the first ultrasound at 11 weeks. The first check to see if the baby is healthy. Many miscarriages happen before that time. Also, is she going to get checkups alone? She is deliberately denying het fiance a choice. It's not about the wedding, even if there wasn't a wedding: tell your partner first if you really see him as an equal, as your partner! This is not a surprise like: surprise, I got you that game you wanted or that rare book. It's: surprise, you missed the first check ups, you missed the excitement, you missed the chance of getting for me/understanding my tiredness.
It is terrible that there is still such a stigma around miscarriage. Don't tell anyone until 12 weeks?! God forbid women get the support and help they need if they do have a miscarriage. We should be able to talk about it without blame or shame. As long as the mother is not experiencing any issues, checkups don't start until 8-11 weeks anyway and the window for the important disability tests (if they are even still allowed to have them in their country) is still very much open at two months. I'm not a fan of public announcements but she's not denying the husband choice in anything. If they've made the choice to have children together then they have made that choice.
Load More Replies...You people are crazy if you believe that the male partner has no opinion or rights to his partner's pregnancy.
Do you not understand the difference between OPINION and rights? He can have his opinion on if she should keep the baby or not. But if his opinion contradicts hers, then she gets to make the call. That's her rights. He does not have the right to override her wishes and force her to carry or abort the child.
Load More Replies...I agree with OP - Max should know, the sooner the better. Just cuz he wants kids doesn't mean he wants them 7 months from the wedding.
Don’tcha dose Daisy knows better than ALL OF US what Max wants? Whatta buncha busybodies. It’s no one’s business besides Max’s and daisy’s!
Load More Replies...She sounds very jealous & probably unhappy about her own life. Very strange "friend".
That's what I feel. First, yes, I would tell my husband before my best friend. Second, my best friend would ask me about me, how I feel about it, what I need. My friend's first thought would not be, "well, is your husband happy about it?" and if I said I didn't tell him, she would say, that's dumb, tell him first! She would be concerned that he felt left out, not that I was baby trapping the poor helpless man.
Load More Replies...I don't like how it was handled by OP, but she should be telling him before they get married. The people saying OP is trying to force an abortion are taking it to another level.


































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