Woman Tries Selling Her Phone, “Nice Guy” Wants To Collect It From Her House, Doesn’t Get The Address So He Goes Nuts
When Amber J. put up her old iPhone for sale on Facebook, she didn’t expect she’d be the one paying the price. “I’ve had it listed for sale for a few days, maybe 3 or 4,” she told Bored Panda. “I got a lot of messages from different people; a lot of weirdos, but no one as weird as him.” This man who introduced himself as a ‘nice guy’ started bombarding Amber’s inbox with creepy messages, inviting himself over to her place to check out the item. After she calmly refused, however, he showed his true dark colors.
“I’ve had [the iPhone] listed for sale for a few days, maybe 3 or 4. I got a lot of messages from different people; a lot of weirdos, but no one as weird as him”
“I realized something was wrong with him as soon as he said the part about being scared ‘because you’re a woman,'” she said. “But there are so many weirdos online that I was ‘eh, ok so he’s a little sexist, it’s fine, I’ll sell the phone and never talk to him again.’ But then of course, it got way weirder.”
Amber has already blocked him, but his descent into madness was so quick, she was completely stunned. “It was like a train wreck I couldn’t look away from.”
“I think he’s scary. I think he’s probably dangerous. He doesn’t believe women can say no to sex and doesn’t believe rape is real. That’s scary to me.”
“I would like to add that a bunch of men got offended by my use of ‘mansplaining’ and I think that’s messed up,” Amber pointed out. “Here there’s a guy literally saying rape doesn’t happen and that feminists are Nazis, but they’re choosing to be offended by a word. It’s not a word I use daily; I just knew with a guy like him, it would get under his skin.”
The good news is, at least she sold the phone. Not to him, of course.
People thought the guy was very, very creepy
This thing should be reported, in my opinion. But somehow I don't think anything would be done about it.
I had the exact same thought process... "This needs to be shown to the police, that guy definitely isn't normal, he's gonna hurt someone, assuming he hasn't already. Oh... what am I saying? Even if she takes it to the police, they won't do anything about it." Because that's the thing with rape culture, even the police doesn't help you. Especially if you "only" almost got raped. I have friends who were stalked by perverts, thankfully got away and went to the police to give the plate numbers and were told "can't do nothing, no crime was committed! just leave." So sad that this is the terrifying world we live in.
When I said "in rape culture even the police doesn't help, especially in cases of almost-rape" I was speaking in general, not especially about this woman. In the case I mentioned earlier, the police saying "you weren't raped, so there's nothing to do" basically equates to "we won't help you until it's too late." Which is beyond ridiculous. Well, what could the police do? They could send just 1 or 2 plainclothes to stakeout said place around said time for the next few days, check if the stalkers return to prey on a new target. But when my friend suggested as much, they laughed in her face and repeated the same thing. They could at least check the many CCTV cameras around the mall where it happened, see if their car returned, see if they do something bad, without even leaving the station. My point was, the police didn't even attempt to try, sadly they just didn't care. That's why I doubt anything would happen if this lady took these messages to the police.
She wasn't ALMOST raped. She knew well enough to never meet him. And the police can't arrest a guy before he commits a crime. I'm not saying at ALL she shouldn't report him, but it's kind of annoying with the tone of blame toward the police as if they COULD act but choose not to. Report it so they have a history, but I don't know of what could BE done about this other than name and shame.
Sadly, the police do not have much power if no crime is committed yet. Perverts like this have "rights". If you are not a "Real" victim yet - just leave and hope you can get away before something fatal happen. And they are surprised why women are so suspicious, like we don't have any reasons to be ....
Layla yes, agree to disagree. To your earlier point, I don't think we will ever get to the point that we simply stop trying no matter how many people need help. I personally don't think that. And I wasn't implying that we should ever stop trying just because the resources are low. I was just saying that if you were in charge of that same police station, for ex., your friend went to (horrible what happened to her by the way) and assuming you didn't know her, how would you propose to handle every case/problem/potential threat, given you only had x amount of time, ppl, staff, funding, etc to devote. It's easy for us to say we'd do it better (not that you yourself said that necessary). But these are very complex issues that dont always have clear cut solutions. Iappreciate having a respectful dialogue with someone who is willing to hear someone out despite having differing opinions. Thanks for that! Positive vibes only!!
Kartoshka If we start applying that kind of logic, how long do you think it will take before we start saying "since we can't help everyone, we shouldn't try to help anyone"? Because that's what it boils down to. Since we can't watch every potential rapist, if we get a report on one particular potential rapist, we shouldn't bother acting on it. We shouldn't take it seriously. We can't protect all potential victims, so why bother with these few? See the problem here? Also I disagree that this post sounds made up, but to each their own. We can agree to disagree, no hard feelings.
Well no, it's because in our justice system; people are presumed innocent until proven guilty. The police won't, and legally can't, do anything just because you think someone is creepy.
Layla I get that that in theory that sounds like it's a fair solution. But do you think that it's actually practical for two cops to sit on a suspected person for two days for every single complaint they get? I'm not an expert on law enforcement but that doesn't seem realistic. Not to mention the level of paranoia it would create if just my accusation could result in cops following you for two days. What if I accused you of something and cops just sat watching you for two days? Can you see the problem? I get your sentiment but we need REAL SOLUTIONS that actually work in REAL LIFE. People need protection from creeps who prey on people. But just because there aren't enough resources available to follow up on potential threats doesn't mean cops don't care. Regardless, this post seems like it was made up
What do you think is the proper recourse for that behavior?
If it's clear that he isn't normal, which I totally agree, wouldn't that undermine the premise that "that's the thing with rape culture"? These are mutually exclusive. If his behavior WAS seen as normal, that would be more indicative of a culture that normalized his behavior. As far as I can tell, I don't see any scenario in which his behavior would not be largely regarded as either completely crazy or some sort of prank.
Should not have blacked out his identity. The world needs to know who this asshole is.
Agreed. Why respect the privacy of people like this? He deserves to be outed.
I generally agree, but technically he could have sued her for slander if she shared his name and depending on the judge and the courtroom he could win
Is it slander if it’s factual and his own fucking words???
Pretty sure it's only slander or libel if it's false.
You could get into serious legal trouble for outing names and other personal information.
Ironic thing is...this dude just showed a prime example of why women shouldn't give out their addresses to strangers. I, however, would have given his phone number and the text messages to the authorities since what he is doing is called sexual harassment.
@isle_of_stressed_pilots, saying something isn't an arrestable offense isn't the same as saying it's normal. And I'm not even saying I know whether harrassment of that nature IS arrestable.
yeah, its categorized as stalking. Which implies that the police want something really bad to happen to you before they do anything about it. Recent Dateline NBC story literally called "She did everything right." Documented harassment, tried to get restraining orders, showed videos of him breaking into her apartment, etc., and she still got killed by the guy.
This thing should be reported, in my opinion. But somehow I don't think anything would be done about it.
I had the exact same thought process... "This needs to be shown to the police, that guy definitely isn't normal, he's gonna hurt someone, assuming he hasn't already. Oh... what am I saying? Even if she takes it to the police, they won't do anything about it." Because that's the thing with rape culture, even the police doesn't help you. Especially if you "only" almost got raped. I have friends who were stalked by perverts, thankfully got away and went to the police to give the plate numbers and were told "can't do nothing, no crime was committed! just leave." So sad that this is the terrifying world we live in.
When I said "in rape culture even the police doesn't help, especially in cases of almost-rape" I was speaking in general, not especially about this woman. In the case I mentioned earlier, the police saying "you weren't raped, so there's nothing to do" basically equates to "we won't help you until it's too late." Which is beyond ridiculous. Well, what could the police do? They could send just 1 or 2 plainclothes to stakeout said place around said time for the next few days, check if the stalkers return to prey on a new target. But when my friend suggested as much, they laughed in her face and repeated the same thing. They could at least check the many CCTV cameras around the mall where it happened, see if their car returned, see if they do something bad, without even leaving the station. My point was, the police didn't even attempt to try, sadly they just didn't care. That's why I doubt anything would happen if this lady took these messages to the police.
She wasn't ALMOST raped. She knew well enough to never meet him. And the police can't arrest a guy before he commits a crime. I'm not saying at ALL she shouldn't report him, but it's kind of annoying with the tone of blame toward the police as if they COULD act but choose not to. Report it so they have a history, but I don't know of what could BE done about this other than name and shame.
Sadly, the police do not have much power if no crime is committed yet. Perverts like this have "rights". If you are not a "Real" victim yet - just leave and hope you can get away before something fatal happen. And they are surprised why women are so suspicious, like we don't have any reasons to be ....
Layla yes, agree to disagree. To your earlier point, I don't think we will ever get to the point that we simply stop trying no matter how many people need help. I personally don't think that. And I wasn't implying that we should ever stop trying just because the resources are low. I was just saying that if you were in charge of that same police station, for ex., your friend went to (horrible what happened to her by the way) and assuming you didn't know her, how would you propose to handle every case/problem/potential threat, given you only had x amount of time, ppl, staff, funding, etc to devote. It's easy for us to say we'd do it better (not that you yourself said that necessary). But these are very complex issues that dont always have clear cut solutions. Iappreciate having a respectful dialogue with someone who is willing to hear someone out despite having differing opinions. Thanks for that! Positive vibes only!!
Kartoshka If we start applying that kind of logic, how long do you think it will take before we start saying "since we can't help everyone, we shouldn't try to help anyone"? Because that's what it boils down to. Since we can't watch every potential rapist, if we get a report on one particular potential rapist, we shouldn't bother acting on it. We shouldn't take it seriously. We can't protect all potential victims, so why bother with these few? See the problem here? Also I disagree that this post sounds made up, but to each their own. We can agree to disagree, no hard feelings.
Well no, it's because in our justice system; people are presumed innocent until proven guilty. The police won't, and legally can't, do anything just because you think someone is creepy.
Layla I get that that in theory that sounds like it's a fair solution. But do you think that it's actually practical for two cops to sit on a suspected person for two days for every single complaint they get? I'm not an expert on law enforcement but that doesn't seem realistic. Not to mention the level of paranoia it would create if just my accusation could result in cops following you for two days. What if I accused you of something and cops just sat watching you for two days? Can you see the problem? I get your sentiment but we need REAL SOLUTIONS that actually work in REAL LIFE. People need protection from creeps who prey on people. But just because there aren't enough resources available to follow up on potential threats doesn't mean cops don't care. Regardless, this post seems like it was made up
What do you think is the proper recourse for that behavior?
If it's clear that he isn't normal, which I totally agree, wouldn't that undermine the premise that "that's the thing with rape culture"? These are mutually exclusive. If his behavior WAS seen as normal, that would be more indicative of a culture that normalized his behavior. As far as I can tell, I don't see any scenario in which his behavior would not be largely regarded as either completely crazy or some sort of prank.
Should not have blacked out his identity. The world needs to know who this asshole is.
Agreed. Why respect the privacy of people like this? He deserves to be outed.
I generally agree, but technically he could have sued her for slander if she shared his name and depending on the judge and the courtroom he could win
Is it slander if it’s factual and his own fucking words???
Pretty sure it's only slander or libel if it's false.
You could get into serious legal trouble for outing names and other personal information.
Ironic thing is...this dude just showed a prime example of why women shouldn't give out their addresses to strangers. I, however, would have given his phone number and the text messages to the authorities since what he is doing is called sexual harassment.
@isle_of_stressed_pilots, saying something isn't an arrestable offense isn't the same as saying it's normal. And I'm not even saying I know whether harrassment of that nature IS arrestable.
yeah, its categorized as stalking. Which implies that the police want something really bad to happen to you before they do anything about it. Recent Dateline NBC story literally called "She did everything right." Documented harassment, tried to get restraining orders, showed videos of him breaking into her apartment, etc., and she still got killed by the guy.