Woman Can’t Forgive Her Sister Who Slept With Her Husband While She Was Losing A Baby, Refuses To Be An Aunt To Her Children
There is a wonderful concept in this life that is “family values”. In fact, it’s absolutely wonderful when it’s invoked in a positive context: for example, a warm, brightly lit house for the holidays, happy parents with children together at a large table, joint outings and games… Family values are great, extremely great.
However, on the other hand, how much can you tolerate a person who, despite being your close relative, betrays you in the meanest way? What would be more correct here – to hold a grudge and cut all ties, or to do as the ancients taught us – to turn your left cheek if you were hit on the right? The heroine of our story today simply chose the first…
This tale appeared on the AITA Reddit community a few days ago, and as of today the original post has roughly 20.4K upvotes and over 3.2K different comments. At the same time, people mostly support the author, so her position should probably be considered quite reasonable. However, let’s try to figure it out ourselves…
More info: Reddit
The author’s ex-husband cheated on her with her own sister seven years ago
Image credits: islandworks (not the actual image)
So, seven years ago, when the author of the post was married and expecting a baby, things went horribly wrong. Around ten weeks into her pregnancy, she suffered a miscarriage, and when she returned home, she found her husband in bed with her own sister. The woman simply could not stand such a double betrayal, so she not only filed for divorce on the spot, but also completely cut all ties with her sister – and limited communication with her parents, who tried to somehow justify her behavior.
Image credits: u/CraftingSunLove
Seven years later, the author married again and was completely happy, though she cut all ties with her relatives
The Original Poster recalls that after that, over the next several years, she gradually came to her senses, and only then, having met her current husband, she managed to completely calm down and find her happiness. The woman says that her husband is a wonderful person, and she considers his relatives her own, and his nieces and nephews her family as well.
Image credits: Bgmfotograofia (not the actual image)
One day the author’s sister called her and literally begged for help
Meanwhile, the OP’s sister married her ex-husband, they had three children, and they lived their own lives, until one day our heroine received a call from her sister on her work phone, hearing her urgently begging for help. The author of the post calmly hung up and continued to work until her parents called her this time. The news the OP got from them would make literally anyone believe in karma…
Image credits: u/CraftingSunLove
It turned out that the author’s sister tasted her own medicine as she had a miscarriage and her husband cheated on her
It turned out that her sister also had a miscarriage, and moreover, in parallel with this, she found out that her husband was cheating on her with someone else. The woman has been living with her parents with her three kids, and asked her sister, whom she had betrayed many years ago, to help her with parenting. Moreover, the parents also implied to the OP that her “aunt’s duty” was at least to meet her nephews.
Image credits: u/CraftingSunLove
The author flatly refused to reconcile with her sister and her kids, though her parents also asked her to do it
But the author of the post was actually adamant. She still held a grudge against her sister, and even though she seemed to be feeling almost worse now than the OP had seven years ago, she did not feel any kindred feelings in herself at all. In the end, relatives are given to us to help, not to betray…
Image credits: Julipu (not the actual image)
People in the comments massively supported the author of the post, claiming that her relatives’ motives weren’t actually pure
We must say that the Original Poster found really massive support among the people in the comments. According to them, for the sake of her mental health, she’d better cut these toxic people off. Moreover, some commenters just suspected that the OP’s relatives’ motives were not pure in nature and they likely wanted to use her somehow.
According to some commenters, the real jerk here is the Original Poster’s sister, who got pregnant by her sister’s husband and then simply decided it might be a “good idea” to marry a guy who thought it’s OK to cheat when he’s married. So she just made her own mess, according to most of the folks in the comments.
However, relatives are actually very often incredibly toxic. We’ve learned that, for example, from this story about a mom who first wrote a bunch of insulting messages to her daughter-in-law, and then accused her of sneaking when she showed everything to her husband, and he disowned his mother in public. In any case, we are already waiting for your comments about this tale, so please feel free to leave them below.
It sucks for the kids to have lousy people in their lives, but OP absolutely needs to put her health and mental well being first. People are saying the sister got the same. No, sister got easier. Sister did not have her own sister betray her, nor have her parents essentially tell her to suck it up buttercup. Both Parents and sister betrayed OP as well as husband. No contact seems reasonable here.
Why do parents always take the side of the a hole? Smh
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Let alone "deserve" one. Nobody deserves such a thing. It's just not a thing. I agree, they're super manipulative.
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Straight up. Like "We need you to look into the products of your pain and betrayal forever so we can have it easy". Like what? Some people make no sense.
Load More Replies... The sister knowingly slept with a married man - her sister's husband. It's ridiculous to expect reconciliation, especially as the sister hasn't shown any remorse for what she did.
Exactly. She was so sorry that she married the guy 🙄
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"My deep childhood trauma is that I have an aunt I never met." Said literally no one ever. Those kids don't care about the aunt they don't know, that's just a manipulation tactic.
If I had two daughters and one of them had done this to the other, I would without hesitation disown the one who’d committed such despicable acts (cheating/pregnancy/marriage) of malicious selfishness to my child. You shouldn’t be able to do something this gross to someone else that I love and expect me to co-sign it with my continued presence in your life and support of your choices. This was not a ‘mistake’, these were intentional acts of betrayal done with full knowledge of the devastation it would cause and lacking any guilt, or shame. This woman’s parents are disgusting in their lack of empathy for their child, which is probably why they raised a woman who would do this to her sister.
Im not sure i would Disown, the grandkids would still be MY grandkids and people make mistakes, some bigger than others.... But i certainly wouldnt entertain the idea of reconciliation or take that sisters side. And while id be supportive through her own miscarriage id still say. Baby i love you but Karma. You knew what kind of man. Ops parents are DEFINATELY taking the wrong path here.
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You can forgive the lot of them if you like. But for your own sake, that does not mean you have to have anything to do with them. Just because you forgive someone does not mean you will allow them to hurt you over and over again and be a doormat for their entitled abuse. No. No, no, no, no, no.
This! A lot of people think that forgiveness means giving the person another chance but that's not true at all. Forgiveness is for your own sake. Forgive and forget them forever.
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She needs more options for babysitting because it's more than the parents can handle. That's the sum total of her "value" to her toxic family.
NTA: She probably thinks she can charm her sister’s new husband and family away.
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It's not holding a grudge. She's holding her sister accountable. Big difference
"These kids need their aunt." Umm, no, they need auntie's $$$ + auntie's babysitting skills. Karma took awhile, but she got sis in the end. :)
This is sad, OP you have my full support, NTA-no don't even question yourself remember YOU ARE NOT THE A** YOUR FAMILY IS TRYING TO USE YOU
Your sister was so sorry for cheating on you with your husband that she went on to marry him and have his children? I can’t even fathom doing that to a friend, let alone my sister. Why risk having her hurt you again when you already know what kind of person she is? It’s unlikely you’d ever be able to trust her again with anything, so what is the point of having a shallow relationship with her? Sounds like she and the kids get enough support, attention and involvement from your parents. If your parents can’t be respectful of your feelings and decision not to reconcile with her, then they are the ones choosing to to put a wedge in the relationship. Loving, healthy parents support thier children drawing healthy boundaries. I can understand how it must disappoint them that this family riff happened, I imagine it’s difficult, but none of this is your fault. I’m thrilled for you that you have created a healthy new relationship with people who deserve to have you in thier lives.
Sister and parents are using the children to basically sway OP to contribute financially. OP should forgive. Forgiveness is about letting go of the negative emotions. It doesn't necessarily mean accepting betrayers back in your life. She definitely needs to cut ties completely.
Why is it always up to the one who was hurt the most to forgive and move on without someone apologizing and admitting they were wrong? I'm currently going through something with my family, an incident occurred this summer and I've pulled away, but I get constant messages from them about how I need to be more involved in their lives and move on, even though they have yet to apologize and admit they were wrong. Your family doesn't think you were hurt, that what you went through wasn't as bad. It's your pain. Your nephews and nieces can't miss someone they haven't met.
Forgiveness is a manipulation. The concept of 'forgiveness' was created by those who enjoy screwing people over and then wanting a clean slate to do it to them again. "Well, you're the one who 'forgave' me..."
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As someone who has suffered a miscarriage myself I dont say this lightly...the sister got what she deserved.
BP needs to stop with the "authors" take on every single story. There's no reason to read the same s**t twice! It's totally annoying and just like a recipe posted online. No one cares about how much your eggs benedict made everyone happy on Sunday. Just like no one cares about a stupid rewrite of the story! Stop doing this!
My ex husband told me he was single when we met. Got an email from a girl saying she was his gf and they are still together. He said it was his ex and she was crazy. I believed him. 8 years later i catch him having an affair. Now he has a baby with girl he cheated on me with. Safe to say he's going to do same thing to here but I hope she does it to him instead.
You set several boundaries and they completely disregarded them. I'm sad to say but it sounds like they are too toxic and you are better off giving and find support in your husband and his extended family.
It’s up to you if you want to forgive your sister but I wouldn’t. I’d fade away from their lives like a ghost and live happily ever after but it’s not for me to say what you should do just know whatever you decide do so guilt free. They made their beds.
Even sisters who aren't close have rules. Your sister took your bond and spit on it. You owe her nothing. Let her painfully lie in the bed she made. She deserves it
There used to be a code between sisters and best friends that we do not date, sleep with or mess with each other's boyfriends/fiance's/husbands/exes no matter what!! Kid sister found out the hard way as she endured the exact same thing OP did, and now she is reaping the consequences! What made it worse was their parents' willingness to turn a blind eye to sister's adultery and putting the onus on OP to forgive and forget! OP did right by ignoring sister's calls for help with the kids, who are the true innocents besides OP.
Ask the sister about how horrible it felt to be cheated on while losing a child. Then remind her that SHE did that to you. It sounds like the OPs family is full of sociopaths so she needs to cut them out of her life for good.
I’m gonna shout this for those in the back row: FORGIVENESS DOESN’T REQUIRE YOU TO MAINTAIN THE RELATIONSHIP. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve known who needed to forgive, but couldn’t overcome their resentment because doing so meant they felt they had to maintain or reestablish the relationship. Forgiving (including ourselves) is one of the most important things we can do to be healthy & continue to grow. When we forgive those we don’t have a relationship with, we can move to a place of apathy or ambivalence toward them rather than anger or resentment.
Yes!! I commented about this above. Forgiveness is for ourselves so we don't walk in hate, which will destroy us. It doesn't require us to forget or act like nothing happened.
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Smh, yeah, anyone with a functioning brain knows the kids had nothing to do with this, but that doesn't mean op has to see them. Maybe op doesn't want to see them, they're products of betrayal, im sure seeing them would be hard for op. Op is doing the right thing by cutting contact with that circus.
Cutting toxic people from one’s life is not holding grudge. Guilting a woman who’s been betrayed as this woman has is the ultimate in gaslighting. She has obviously emptied the trash. Everyone needs to move on as well.
Having a stillborn is a truly terrible experience (my older sis went through it) However, that doesnt man, the sister automatically needs to be the caretaker. There is no obligation to be kind to people who screwed you over so very badly (I mean seriouly, sleepping with your siters husband?? Who DOES that???) just because you are related to them. I hope the OP stays strong and keeps her distance. P.S. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Seriously, peeps! Choose your partners with open eyes!
Op was in the hospital having a miscarriage and No One was by her side?!! That in itself is unforgivable, let alone her then husband not bringing her home after such a devastating loss! I'm assuming OP's sister was her only sibling, no way my sister would be going through such a trauma without my support! She's much better off cutting ties with them, also sounds like she found her real family that actually love and support her.
The sister, ex, and parents are all equally the asshols! Yes, I would cut all of them off completely and permanently! Sad for the lost babies and other kids, besides OP. What a toxic disaster.
NTA. Wow, never ceases to amaze me how low people will go. I guess once a cheater, always a cheater. Karma strikes again. By what "magic" did the sister think the husband wouldn't do the same to her? It took the OP long enough to get over the betrayal. Now, and ONLY NOW, her family wants her to let bygones be bygones?? Step in now and feel sorry for the sister? Nah, don't fall for it. Where was everyone when OP needed support all those years ago? Let these toxic people go. It's really tough thing to do, I realize. But if OP is happy, settled down with a great husband and his family she loves, that's what really matters. Don't get sucked in to their drama.
All I'll say is OP needs to tell them "After this level of betrayal from all of you, I have NO family!" and sever all ties with them on the spot! The kind of parents she has deserve a few swift punches to the gut to see how much it hurts getting news of unfaithfulness within the family while losing a child. NTA, but I do pity the kids to some extent.
I am sorry that you had to endure that. I am also sorry about both miscarriages. But if I were you, I would forgive her in my heart, (because God would want me to, and that would free you to live your own life happily), but sever ALL ties. What your sister did was heinous and self-centered. She didn't care that you were suffering from a miscarriage, and was selfish for sleeping with your husband. The husband is a sociopath. Your parents are wrong for pressuring you to help your sister. They were wrong for even condoning the marriage of your sister to your ex-husband. If anything, they should have cut your sister off for her disgusting behavior. I wouldn't want ANYTHING to do with any one of them ever again. I feel sorry for the children because both of their parents are awful human beings.
You are right to cut ties with them. As some have suggested they are probably after money &/or a free babysitter. We can't choose our families but we can choose if we want to be friends with them. A lot of times real friends make better families. You have a wonderful new family in your husband's family. But, don't let this past pain define you. No one says you have to rub salt in the wound by being around those who betrayed you. They are reaping the consequences of their actions. Your sister needs to make a new life for herself and her children and it doesn't need include you.
Exactly. It's about time OP's ex~sister learn to take care of herself and family on her own. Time to pull up her big girl panties and be an adult.
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Oh Honey Now No! OP may not EVER " get over" this & that's OP's prerogative, no one else's. I applaud her for taking care of herself & staying away from her pit of vipers family. I am so sorry OP went thru that. You get what you settle for & she's a trooper for confronting this. Definite NTA
Fúck, and I cannot stress this enough, them kids. No one "deserves" an aunt. And NO ONE deserves to have strangers' children used against them as emotional manipulation. Fúck that whole family.
Wow! Unbelievable! I’m amazed at the parents omg as a mother I’d be reminding the offensive daughter every time she brought it up that she doesn’t have a sister because she slept with her husband I mean the freaking audacity of these ppl trying to make her feel like that’s nothing. I just can’t imagine the psychological torture of this scenario. I’d be firm and clear to my parents that they best worry about their relationship with me and to never speak to me about her or those kids again or I’m all no contact and won’t look back. Ppl think they can do selfish things with the thought that time heals all it’s so entitled like I can have my cake and eat it too it called consequences she chose lust over her sister own it!
As my wife always says, if someone cheats for you they'll cheat on you. Regardless of weaponising the kids, the sister and the (ex-)husband don't deserve anything from the OP. F**k 'em.
I will never understand why people try to force a relationship between other people when one or both are clearly not interested. All for the sake of family unity. B******t.
NTA in the least. Also, ex husband is a real POS for sleeping around while his wife (wives) was/were in the process of losing a baby (twice!). Dude has no chill, no morals, no sympathy because if he did, he wouldn't have messed around on either one of them. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he legitimately has Antisocial Personality Disorder or something similar. He is an EXTREMELY selfish person and I hope he dies alone and his remains discarded in the trash because that's where he belongs. He is not a good person at all.
I had a thought, what if he was just wanting women as broodmares? He cheated on OP when she was pregnant, her sister married the douche, got pregnant multiple times, and he cheated again. There's a possibility that the chick he cheated with while married to the sister would be pregnant with his kid. All in all, it's disgusting what the ex and the sister did. I hope some major karma comes after the ex.
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Cut my family out because of so called older sister did that same s**t didn't go to father's funeral won't be going to so called mothers no contact with eight siblings and I finally have peace life will go on
NTA. Stay away from those terrible people. You have a great life, no thanks to them. I am so sorry you had to go through that.
I really cannot understand why all these women who were the side chick or a hookup then turn into the girlfriend think that they're the only one or going to be the only one. Like if he cheated with you chances are he'll cheat on you. I just don't understand this.
Family is a strange thing. We are born into it, but it's also something that can be lost. I wouldn't see your ex husband or your sister as family. They chose to break that relationship. I was married and had kids and then was cheated on and divorced. Not long after she got pregnant with another guy. I don't consider her family personally even though my children will (we get along fine though). But my children now have a sister, and I have no problem considering her family. The child did not commit the crimes of the parent. So, just like my own kids, I can consider this girl family and not her parents. Family is a right at birth but a privilege as you grow older. What am I exactly to this child? Not a stepfather, nor an uncle, but names mean little anyway. But if that girl ever needed help, I would treat her as I would any family. Not saying in anyway this applies to OP's situation, but just wanted to share my journey through a similar messy situation and how I found peace in it.
NTA. You're parents backed the wrong side and now are tired of raising your daughters children. Karma is great. Not to point out that even after the same thing happened to her they still chose her side ... They want you to come babysit. I'm glad to see you found happiness and a loving family! Stay strong!
You slept with her husband while she was having a miscarriage and married him, then....when he did the same to you, you need her to help you through it. No!!!! You don't get to hurt someone and then want to cry on her shoulder and expect her to be there for you after you betrayed her.
The 1 constant in both situations is the man involved. The sisters have both been burned by him and I do not think the damage can be undone. The parents don't get a vote on this. Be glad the "pig" is out of their lives and you can move on. If the sister cannot forgive her sibling the relationship would most likely always be suspect so move on. No one ever said you are obliged to be friends with your siblings.
OP needs to do what is right for herself. Keep those contacts cut. Mummy and Daddy think Lucy Loosemorals needs support but not you, then they can support her and the kids. They turned their back on their daughter by siding with Tammy Tramp and now are dismayed? Yeah, no... OP isn't the problem in this. Keep the family that loves you, not the one that tossed you.
Love how the parents try to justify her actions. I wouldn’t even acknowledge her on the street. I would lose zero sleep for my choice never to talk to her again.
So why can't she "forgive her family" while simultaneously cutting them off...?? These 2 concepts aren't mutually exclusive. Time for OP to change her number or block the sister and parents from calling. Everyone got what they deserved. OP got a wonderful life and her family got drama so really everyone got want they wanted.
Everybody betrayed the OP but the sister got what was expected yet she got special treatment while OP was just treated like c**p by everybody? Sounds like favoritism to me. The epitome of people believing "Family before EVERYTHING" then screwing brother-in-laws hoping they'd be forgiven eventually. Family is in your heart, not your blood. My blood family are all on drugs and I don't speak to them. My SOUL family are amazing people who have been with me since I was 13 and I love them more than anything. I love my blood family too, of course, but I refuse to let them drag me down.
Nta. They're trying to manipulate her by guilt tripping her about her sister's kids needing an aunt. Life is hard enough without having to worry about family screwing you over behind your back. Its terrible the way they are now trying to make her out as the bad person in this situation. As a guy if a similar situation happened to me the last thing id want to see is the kids that resulted from that betrayal. Decisions we make have consequences and her family will have to live with the results.
No contact. Anyone who criticizes your decision, the same. The children are blameless, but you must wait until they reach the age of majority to explain why you're estranged from their parents. The fact that your sister and ex married demonstrated zero remorse. You can forgive someone but still insist on no contact. An adult relationship with their children is the only indication their parents deserve, when you're ready.
NTA your sister deserved what she got plus some you did not. Cut communication with the sister and parents I agree with other commenters here they arent reaching out to you out of concern or caring they want something I dunno what but something prolly money. Need to let them go and be happy sometimes you gotta cut off a finger to save the hand as future sang.
It's horrible truly horrible. My sister tried her best to betray me with my husband as my daughter died in hospital. She was 6 weeks early and I was desperately ill after a caesearean. My husband told me everything. 48 years later I have no contact with my sister who still does all she can to destroy me and any life I try to have. Kia kaha. Be strong and look after yourself first
As someone who has lost 2 babies I can honestly say the sister didn't deserve to give birth to her still born child. However, if she even has a shred of decency she would never allow her sister to be in hospital losing her baby and in bed with her BIL. then she chose to continue the relationship and marry him and have kids... and only now that the relationship has broken down she wants to get back talking with her sister? The woman is not remorseful whatsoever she's just wanting to invite OP to her pity party and the parents encouraged this and still must have had contact with OP's ex husband. So f*ked up on so many levels. Defo NTA
Wow. That is bonafide karma right there--to go through the exact same thing OP did.
If I was OP I'd go to petty/agressive. "Sorry, I don't feel confortable bringing you/my sister in contact with my husband ... We ALL known what happened the first time and she don't need to have three other cheat-babies" Then go no contact
Hateful, self-serving, manipulative ... hat trick? Tell your parents and your unbelievable sister you wish no further contact. You sister received the only treatment she should have expected from your ex. How do you not see that coming?! SISTER!? That kills me. I had one sister... and, lost her. Sisters do not do that, dear. No.
NTA!! The b!tch & your parents are trying to get you back for financial reasons. All they want from you is to provide money, services, or both. Don't give any of them a dime and cut them out of your life completely. She deserved what she got, though I seriously doubt that she learned anything from it. Go live your life with your new family & be happy that you're no longer tied to them.
Why do people who have relationships with some one who cheated on their partner to be in that relationship always think that they aren't gonna cheat on them to? Like is it egl thinking they are better and it won't happen to them? Like if this person cheated on some one else to be with you, why do you think they won't do it again? Who actually wants to be in that type of flammable relationship. Not to mention you are most certainly not gonna completely trust them ever/keep tabs on them.
The husband and sister betraying the OP means they are toxic, horrible ppl; not using birth control while doing it means they're stupid.
I absolutely have no use for "family". Always drama. Move away and don't leave a fwd address
You ABSOLUTELY are NTA. Those honors belong to your Ex-husband and Excommunicated Sister. Honorable Mentions go to Dad and Mom for trying to force this exceptionally toxic relationship upon you. Should you CHOOSE to return to your family; it should be NOT One Moment before you feel ready.
I honestly think that OP did the right thing. Her sister is absolutely the A- hole, but her kids have no part in this that they could control so I feel like things could have gone bad between OP and her trashy sister's kids. Her snake of a sister is horrible. OP is in the right here, this is karma. NTA
I thought of this one for a while. While NTA the author can walk away forever and feel no guilt. And maybe the family does have some ulterior motive in all this, IDK? However, it also could be that the parents simply want the siblings and family back together, no strings attached and maybe are going at it wrong. Also, yes, ad nausea, the sister owes nothing to the cheater. However, now consider that for what she did they will never speak again and die estranged. Forgiveness is noble and not for everyone, but baby steps maybe ok?
This story is disgusting, this woman's family can go straight to Hell where they belong. She needs to cut them all out and never look back.
Something everyone seems to miss is that sis was with her cheating bil. If BIL was willing to cheat on his current wife, Why would sis think he would be any different with her? Getting into a relationship with a known cheater is setting yourself up for disaster.
Life is a b***h and so is the sister. I wouldnt talk to her ever again even if the Pope called me. Parents need to stfu as well. No one stood up for the sister who was screwed over. She would be dead to me. Using the she is family BS wouldnt work either. Wasnt she family when she screwed and got knocked up by her sisters husband. The sister and the ex boyfried will meet again in the 9th ring of Hell.
That sister sure has ALL the audacity. She must have a pair the size of the Titanic if she's even thinking my name after doing that. "Dead to me" is a concept for a reason and that is a good enough one for me. Those parents would be right there with her bc I exist too and so do my feelings. Thank God I have brothers and wasn't raised by monsters.
B***h got what she deserved. I would've laughed then hung up, but I'm not a nice person. Cut them all off; let them hang themselves without you.
Of course children doesn't need an aunt, or do they mean that no only child should bear children? Anyway you needn't feel responsible for your sisters children, anymore than for a strangers.
If the guy cheated on his wife, he'll cheat on the one he cheated with too. Now she knows how it feels.
For me that could be a trauma for OP but her"family" are not capable of acknowledged it
The sister got smacked hard with karma, and she deserves her misery. Of course, miscarriages & stillbirths are horrible and should never be wished on anyone. However, my family has always had our own fights throughout my mother's 3 marriages plus my own personal issues with my sister...but I've never been able to exclude the children involved. They are completely innocent & generally have no idea why the adults in their family don't get along. I was a child who was treated terribly by "family" because of adults' not liking each other & I can't imagine having it done to another child.
Sounds like the "sister" forgot that a guy who will cheat WITH you, will cheat ON you.
Why in the world does her sister need help parenting. She is a grown up.
These people are toxic and don't deserve to be in your life. The sister is insane expecting sympathy for going through what she put you through herself. Glad you found love again with someone better. I feel bad for the kids that have these crappy people raising them.
The gall of some people... The op's sister for thinking ' the guy won't ever cheat on me' to the parents for letting the op's ex into their family. Sorry the sister got a miscarriage but sometimes karma be like that
So when the slither said "sorry.".. was it pertaining to her sleeping with ex-jerk when he was married to you while your miscarried? Maybe it was for her getting pregnant. No, wait a minute maybe it was her staying with him and marrying said jerk(a double combo). Perhaps it's was for the other pregnancies! What it seems like karma came around FULL circle. She lost him how she got him, and wants to compare wounds(eyes rolling). The kids don't deserve it, but that slither (and yes I called her slither, deal with it). She should have called Jesus, your parents, his parents, and or whomever showed up to their wedding before calling you.. definitely NOT your problem. I couldn't imagine having to try fake love someone. Your parents ATAs too for trying to tell you to give up your peace or sanity for another therapist or any other institution you might need before harming them. "Holy Spirit Activate!"
Send this thread to your parents and sister and tell them that the whole world hates them they are the a******s and need to f off. So now the whole world knows they are narcissists. How does that feel parents and sister.
Omg Your sister did not once think about you while she was fooling around with your husband while you were in hospital. Stick too your guns.
Holy s**t I have no words... Sisters a b***h. Husbands a worse b***h. Parents shouldn't be having children if they don't know what non biased compassion and love is. Jesus Christ lady, get the hell out of their lives, cut them off, fake your death, something. Those psychopaths don't deserve you.
Naw, you don't get out much do you? Lol This s**t happens all the time in narsisstic families who enjoy a dabble in crazy and chained drama. 💁♀️
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Yes, your sister messed up. But the real devil is your ex-husband who seems like a Glenn Quagmire. He will cheat, and cheat again. Probably entice your sister to sleep with him. When he managed to divorce you without any baggage or settlement; he is at the top of his world. Too bad about your family. Hope you can patch up.
NTA f**k your side of the family stick with your husbands side and keep toxic people out of your life
So it's clear that the sister is in shock and can't believe that karma served her well. Its that age old saying, "the same way you got him, is the same way youll lose him" clealrly was heard of or adhered to. The OP needs validation, for what - I'm unsure - as she's moved on and found happiness. I feel that if she continues to allow her family to dictate what she should be doing, she will not allow herself to fully heal. Drop them like the dead weight they are.
Wow...... It's best to keep your new peace and happiness. To hell with their toxic a*s lives. There would be no reason for me to EVER see any of them again. Blood doesn't make you family. In my world they would not exist. Many blessings. #SheisMonaLisa314
NTA for sure. But I did have one thought, you do need to forgive them but in your own way and in your own time. The beautiful thing about it, is you don't even have to tell them that you forgive them. I suffered quite a traumatic childhood, and it took me 21 years to finally forgive the person. When I finally came to the realization that I had wholeheartedly forgiven them, this amazing weight that I never knew I had on my shoulders felt like it just vanished. It truly felt like something physically lifted off of my shoulders. So I say that you should forgive for your sake, not for theirs. They don't deserve anything from you, not even your forgiveness. But you deserve to forgive them for you.
Gah! Why this 'forgiveness' nonsense? Gee, Sis! I'll forgive you for being a wh0re and screwing my husband while I was losing my BABY~~NO benefit to OP in doing the 'forgiving' and everything for the wh0re! There is no spiritual uplift to turning the other cheek aside from having a matched set of bruises. Forgiveness is purely a social construct to keep people from getting even, nothing more.
Load More Replies... "the ancients" didn't teach us to turn the other cheek. Jesus taught us that. I don't think He meant we must keep toxic people in our lives. He just meant for us to not hit back. The OP didn't seek revenge. She just moved on with her life without toxic relatives and that's a good thing. She definitely NTA
That sounds like something my parents would say. In fact I can say, with a great deal of certainty, that my mother would have said something like, "Yeah, but suppose it's really you that he wants to be with." Now, a few years ago I'd have done exactly what you did. Now, I would forgive her, especially after 7 years, but no, I would not be babysitting. It's not about the children, it's about your sister's betrayal. It's bad enough when strangers betray you but familial betrayal is the absolute worst!
Explain to me why OP should 'forgive' such a conniving b!tch? The one who betrayed her multiple times and yet demands that she be forgiven? There is no reason why that piece of filth should get another chance and OP would be extremely foolish to do so. Along with wanting money and free childcare, I'm sure the b!tch wants to take a bite out of OP's new husband.
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Why do you people feel the need to post this on every story? Just move on.
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Im sure the kids don't give a f**k because they probably didn't even know op existed. Op doesn't have to do s**t for or with anyone either, that family is trash garbage
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Sister went behind op's back and had sex with her then husband while op was losing a child, parents, husband and sister tell her to suck it up and pretend nothing happened, sister then marries now ex husband and has 2 (was 3) kids with him, sister loses child, sister and parents DEMAND op be there for her because she's "suffering". Who tf do you think is going to forgive all that s**t?!?! Cutting off her entire family is going to give op space from these circus clowns. They're dogshit.
Load More Replies... Having a relationship with the kids and not with the parents? It was 7 years ago and they had two more children, so they must be small. No contact with the mother (OP's sister) and her parents is not possible in this scenario. I am done with this "be the bigger person" b******t, you essentially advise her to be a pushover... Other people in her sisters vicinity can step up to be role models to those kids.
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No, she should think of her own mental health, and cut all contact. You don't owe your family anything, just because you are related to them. Her sister knowingly chose to sleep with her husband, have a baby with him, and get married. Not everything needs to be forgiven. Plus she already is an awesome Aunt.
Load More Replies... It sucks for the kids to have lousy people in their lives, but OP absolutely needs to put her health and mental well being first. People are saying the sister got the same. No, sister got easier. Sister did not have her own sister betray her, nor have her parents essentially tell her to suck it up buttercup. Both Parents and sister betrayed OP as well as husband. No contact seems reasonable here.
Why do parents always take the side of the a hole? Smh
Load More Replies... Let alone "deserve" one. Nobody deserves such a thing. It's just not a thing. I agree, they're super manipulative.
Load More Replies... Straight up. Like "We need you to look into the products of your pain and betrayal forever so we can have it easy". Like what? Some people make no sense.
Load More Replies... The sister knowingly slept with a married man - her sister's husband. It's ridiculous to expect reconciliation, especially as the sister hasn't shown any remorse for what she did.
Exactly. She was so sorry that she married the guy 🙄
Load More Replies... "My deep childhood trauma is that I have an aunt I never met." Said literally no one ever. Those kids don't care about the aunt they don't know, that's just a manipulation tactic.
If I had two daughters and one of them had done this to the other, I would without hesitation disown the one who’d committed such despicable acts (cheating/pregnancy/marriage) of malicious selfishness to my child. You shouldn’t be able to do something this gross to someone else that I love and expect me to co-sign it with my continued presence in your life and support of your choices. This was not a ‘mistake’, these were intentional acts of betrayal done with full knowledge of the devastation it would cause and lacking any guilt, or shame. This woman’s parents are disgusting in their lack of empathy for their child, which is probably why they raised a woman who would do this to her sister.
Im not sure i would Disown, the grandkids would still be MY grandkids and people make mistakes, some bigger than others.... But i certainly wouldnt entertain the idea of reconciliation or take that sisters side. And while id be supportive through her own miscarriage id still say. Baby i love you but Karma. You knew what kind of man. Ops parents are DEFINATELY taking the wrong path here.
Load More Replies... You can forgive the lot of them if you like. But for your own sake, that does not mean you have to have anything to do with them. Just because you forgive someone does not mean you will allow them to hurt you over and over again and be a doormat for their entitled abuse. No. No, no, no, no, no.
This! A lot of people think that forgiveness means giving the person another chance but that's not true at all. Forgiveness is for your own sake. Forgive and forget them forever.
Load More Replies... She needs more options for babysitting because it's more than the parents can handle. That's the sum total of her "value" to her toxic family.
NTA: She probably thinks she can charm her sister’s new husband and family away.
Load More Replies... It's not holding a grudge. She's holding her sister accountable. Big difference
"These kids need their aunt." Umm, no, they need auntie's $$$ + auntie's babysitting skills. Karma took awhile, but she got sis in the end. :)
This is sad, OP you have my full support, NTA-no don't even question yourself remember YOU ARE NOT THE A** YOUR FAMILY IS TRYING TO USE YOU
Your sister was so sorry for cheating on you with your husband that she went on to marry him and have his children? I can’t even fathom doing that to a friend, let alone my sister. Why risk having her hurt you again when you already know what kind of person she is? It’s unlikely you’d ever be able to trust her again with anything, so what is the point of having a shallow relationship with her? Sounds like she and the kids get enough support, attention and involvement from your parents. If your parents can’t be respectful of your feelings and decision not to reconcile with her, then they are the ones choosing to to put a wedge in the relationship. Loving, healthy parents support thier children drawing healthy boundaries. I can understand how it must disappoint them that this family riff happened, I imagine it’s difficult, but none of this is your fault. I’m thrilled for you that you have created a healthy new relationship with people who deserve to have you in thier lives.
Sister and parents are using the children to basically sway OP to contribute financially. OP should forgive. Forgiveness is about letting go of the negative emotions. It doesn't necessarily mean accepting betrayers back in your life. She definitely needs to cut ties completely.
Why is it always up to the one who was hurt the most to forgive and move on without someone apologizing and admitting they were wrong? I'm currently going through something with my family, an incident occurred this summer and I've pulled away, but I get constant messages from them about how I need to be more involved in their lives and move on, even though they have yet to apologize and admit they were wrong. Your family doesn't think you were hurt, that what you went through wasn't as bad. It's your pain. Your nephews and nieces can't miss someone they haven't met.
Forgiveness is a manipulation. The concept of 'forgiveness' was created by those who enjoy screwing people over and then wanting a clean slate to do it to them again. "Well, you're the one who 'forgave' me..."
Load More Replies... As someone who has suffered a miscarriage myself I dont say this lightly...the sister got what she deserved.
BP needs to stop with the "authors" take on every single story. There's no reason to read the same s**t twice! It's totally annoying and just like a recipe posted online. No one cares about how much your eggs benedict made everyone happy on Sunday. Just like no one cares about a stupid rewrite of the story! Stop doing this!
My ex husband told me he was single when we met. Got an email from a girl saying she was his gf and they are still together. He said it was his ex and she was crazy. I believed him. 8 years later i catch him having an affair. Now he has a baby with girl he cheated on me with. Safe to say he's going to do same thing to here but I hope she does it to him instead.
You set several boundaries and they completely disregarded them. I'm sad to say but it sounds like they are too toxic and you are better off giving and find support in your husband and his extended family.
It’s up to you if you want to forgive your sister but I wouldn’t. I’d fade away from their lives like a ghost and live happily ever after but it’s not for me to say what you should do just know whatever you decide do so guilt free. They made their beds.
Even sisters who aren't close have rules. Your sister took your bond and spit on it. You owe her nothing. Let her painfully lie in the bed she made. She deserves it
There used to be a code between sisters and best friends that we do not date, sleep with or mess with each other's boyfriends/fiance's/husbands/exes no matter what!! Kid sister found out the hard way as she endured the exact same thing OP did, and now she is reaping the consequences! What made it worse was their parents' willingness to turn a blind eye to sister's adultery and putting the onus on OP to forgive and forget! OP did right by ignoring sister's calls for help with the kids, who are the true innocents besides OP.
Ask the sister about how horrible it felt to be cheated on while losing a child. Then remind her that SHE did that to you. It sounds like the OPs family is full of sociopaths so she needs to cut them out of her life for good.
I’m gonna shout this for those in the back row: FORGIVENESS DOESN’T REQUIRE YOU TO MAINTAIN THE RELATIONSHIP. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve known who needed to forgive, but couldn’t overcome their resentment because doing so meant they felt they had to maintain or reestablish the relationship. Forgiving (including ourselves) is one of the most important things we can do to be healthy & continue to grow. When we forgive those we don’t have a relationship with, we can move to a place of apathy or ambivalence toward them rather than anger or resentment.
Yes!! I commented about this above. Forgiveness is for ourselves so we don't walk in hate, which will destroy us. It doesn't require us to forget or act like nothing happened.
Load More Replies... Smh, yeah, anyone with a functioning brain knows the kids had nothing to do with this, but that doesn't mean op has to see them. Maybe op doesn't want to see them, they're products of betrayal, im sure seeing them would be hard for op. Op is doing the right thing by cutting contact with that circus.
Cutting toxic people from one’s life is not holding grudge. Guilting a woman who’s been betrayed as this woman has is the ultimate in gaslighting. She has obviously emptied the trash. Everyone needs to move on as well.
Having a stillborn is a truly terrible experience (my older sis went through it) However, that doesnt man, the sister automatically needs to be the caretaker. There is no obligation to be kind to people who screwed you over so very badly (I mean seriouly, sleepping with your siters husband?? Who DOES that???) just because you are related to them. I hope the OP stays strong and keeps her distance. P.S. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Seriously, peeps! Choose your partners with open eyes!
Op was in the hospital having a miscarriage and No One was by her side?!! That in itself is unforgivable, let alone her then husband not bringing her home after such a devastating loss! I'm assuming OP's sister was her only sibling, no way my sister would be going through such a trauma without my support! She's much better off cutting ties with them, also sounds like she found her real family that actually love and support her.
The sister, ex, and parents are all equally the asshols! Yes, I would cut all of them off completely and permanently! Sad for the lost babies and other kids, besides OP. What a toxic disaster.
NTA. Wow, never ceases to amaze me how low people will go. I guess once a cheater, always a cheater. Karma strikes again. By what "magic" did the sister think the husband wouldn't do the same to her? It took the OP long enough to get over the betrayal. Now, and ONLY NOW, her family wants her to let bygones be bygones?? Step in now and feel sorry for the sister? Nah, don't fall for it. Where was everyone when OP needed support all those years ago? Let these toxic people go. It's really tough thing to do, I realize. But if OP is happy, settled down with a great husband and his family she loves, that's what really matters. Don't get sucked in to their drama.
All I'll say is OP needs to tell them "After this level of betrayal from all of you, I have NO family!" and sever all ties with them on the spot! The kind of parents she has deserve a few swift punches to the gut to see how much it hurts getting news of unfaithfulness within the family while losing a child. NTA, but I do pity the kids to some extent.
I am sorry that you had to endure that. I am also sorry about both miscarriages. But if I were you, I would forgive her in my heart, (because God would want me to, and that would free you to live your own life happily), but sever ALL ties. What your sister did was heinous and self-centered. She didn't care that you were suffering from a miscarriage, and was selfish for sleeping with your husband. The husband is a sociopath. Your parents are wrong for pressuring you to help your sister. They were wrong for even condoning the marriage of your sister to your ex-husband. If anything, they should have cut your sister off for her disgusting behavior. I wouldn't want ANYTHING to do with any one of them ever again. I feel sorry for the children because both of their parents are awful human beings.
You are right to cut ties with them. As some have suggested they are probably after money &/or a free babysitter. We can't choose our families but we can choose if we want to be friends with them. A lot of times real friends make better families. You have a wonderful new family in your husband's family. But, don't let this past pain define you. No one says you have to rub salt in the wound by being around those who betrayed you. They are reaping the consequences of their actions. Your sister needs to make a new life for herself and her children and it doesn't need include you.
Exactly. It's about time OP's ex~sister learn to take care of herself and family on her own. Time to pull up her big girl panties and be an adult.
Load More Replies... Oh Honey Now No! OP may not EVER " get over" this & that's OP's prerogative, no one else's. I applaud her for taking care of herself & staying away from her pit of vipers family. I am so sorry OP went thru that. You get what you settle for & she's a trooper for confronting this. Definite NTA
Fúck, and I cannot stress this enough, them kids. No one "deserves" an aunt. And NO ONE deserves to have strangers' children used against them as emotional manipulation. Fúck that whole family.
Wow! Unbelievable! I’m amazed at the parents omg as a mother I’d be reminding the offensive daughter every time she brought it up that she doesn’t have a sister because she slept with her husband I mean the freaking audacity of these ppl trying to make her feel like that’s nothing. I just can’t imagine the psychological torture of this scenario. I’d be firm and clear to my parents that they best worry about their relationship with me and to never speak to me about her or those kids again or I’m all no contact and won’t look back. Ppl think they can do selfish things with the thought that time heals all it’s so entitled like I can have my cake and eat it too it called consequences she chose lust over her sister own it!
As my wife always says, if someone cheats for you they'll cheat on you. Regardless of weaponising the kids, the sister and the (ex-)husband don't deserve anything from the OP. F**k 'em.
I will never understand why people try to force a relationship between other people when one or both are clearly not interested. All for the sake of family unity. B******t.
NTA in the least. Also, ex husband is a real POS for sleeping around while his wife (wives) was/were in the process of losing a baby (twice!). Dude has no chill, no morals, no sympathy because if he did, he wouldn't have messed around on either one of them. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he legitimately has Antisocial Personality Disorder or something similar. He is an EXTREMELY selfish person and I hope he dies alone and his remains discarded in the trash because that's where he belongs. He is not a good person at all.
I had a thought, what if he was just wanting women as broodmares? He cheated on OP when she was pregnant, her sister married the douche, got pregnant multiple times, and he cheated again. There's a possibility that the chick he cheated with while married to the sister would be pregnant with his kid. All in all, it's disgusting what the ex and the sister did. I hope some major karma comes after the ex.
Load More Replies... Cut my family out because of so called older sister did that same s**t didn't go to father's funeral won't be going to so called mothers no contact with eight siblings and I finally have peace life will go on
NTA. Stay away from those terrible people. You have a great life, no thanks to them. I am so sorry you had to go through that.
I really cannot understand why all these women who were the side chick or a hookup then turn into the girlfriend think that they're the only one or going to be the only one. Like if he cheated with you chances are he'll cheat on you. I just don't understand this.
Family is a strange thing. We are born into it, but it's also something that can be lost. I wouldn't see your ex husband or your sister as family. They chose to break that relationship. I was married and had kids and then was cheated on and divorced. Not long after she got pregnant with another guy. I don't consider her family personally even though my children will (we get along fine though). But my children now have a sister, and I have no problem considering her family. The child did not commit the crimes of the parent. So, just like my own kids, I can consider this girl family and not her parents. Family is a right at birth but a privilege as you grow older. What am I exactly to this child? Not a stepfather, nor an uncle, but names mean little anyway. But if that girl ever needed help, I would treat her as I would any family. Not saying in anyway this applies to OP's situation, but just wanted to share my journey through a similar messy situation and how I found peace in it.
NTA. You're parents backed the wrong side and now are tired of raising your daughters children. Karma is great. Not to point out that even after the same thing happened to her they still chose her side ... They want you to come babysit. I'm glad to see you found happiness and a loving family! Stay strong!
You slept with her husband while she was having a miscarriage and married him, then....when he did the same to you, you need her to help you through it. No!!!! You don't get to hurt someone and then want to cry on her shoulder and expect her to be there for you after you betrayed her.
The 1 constant in both situations is the man involved. The sisters have both been burned by him and I do not think the damage can be undone. The parents don't get a vote on this. Be glad the "pig" is out of their lives and you can move on. If the sister cannot forgive her sibling the relationship would most likely always be suspect so move on. No one ever said you are obliged to be friends with your siblings.
OP needs to do what is right for herself. Keep those contacts cut. Mummy and Daddy think Lucy Loosemorals needs support but not you, then they can support her and the kids. They turned their back on their daughter by siding with Tammy Tramp and now are dismayed? Yeah, no... OP isn't the problem in this. Keep the family that loves you, not the one that tossed you.
Love how the parents try to justify her actions. I wouldn’t even acknowledge her on the street. I would lose zero sleep for my choice never to talk to her again.
So why can't she "forgive her family" while simultaneously cutting them off...?? These 2 concepts aren't mutually exclusive. Time for OP to change her number or block the sister and parents from calling. Everyone got what they deserved. OP got a wonderful life and her family got drama so really everyone got want they wanted.
Everybody betrayed the OP but the sister got what was expected yet she got special treatment while OP was just treated like c**p by everybody? Sounds like favoritism to me. The epitome of people believing "Family before EVERYTHING" then screwing brother-in-laws hoping they'd be forgiven eventually. Family is in your heart, not your blood. My blood family are all on drugs and I don't speak to them. My SOUL family are amazing people who have been with me since I was 13 and I love them more than anything. I love my blood family too, of course, but I refuse to let them drag me down.
Nta. They're trying to manipulate her by guilt tripping her about her sister's kids needing an aunt. Life is hard enough without having to worry about family screwing you over behind your back. Its terrible the way they are now trying to make her out as the bad person in this situation. As a guy if a similar situation happened to me the last thing id want to see is the kids that resulted from that betrayal. Decisions we make have consequences and her family will have to live with the results.
No contact. Anyone who criticizes your decision, the same. The children are blameless, but you must wait until they reach the age of majority to explain why you're estranged from their parents. The fact that your sister and ex married demonstrated zero remorse. You can forgive someone but still insist on no contact. An adult relationship with their children is the only indication their parents deserve, when you're ready.
NTA your sister deserved what she got plus some you did not. Cut communication with the sister and parents I agree with other commenters here they arent reaching out to you out of concern or caring they want something I dunno what but something prolly money. Need to let them go and be happy sometimes you gotta cut off a finger to save the hand as future sang.
It's horrible truly horrible. My sister tried her best to betray me with my husband as my daughter died in hospital. She was 6 weeks early and I was desperately ill after a caesearean. My husband told me everything. 48 years later I have no contact with my sister who still does all she can to destroy me and any life I try to have. Kia kaha. Be strong and look after yourself first
As someone who has lost 2 babies I can honestly say the sister didn't deserve to give birth to her still born child. However, if she even has a shred of decency she would never allow her sister to be in hospital losing her baby and in bed with her BIL. then she chose to continue the relationship and marry him and have kids... and only now that the relationship has broken down she wants to get back talking with her sister? The woman is not remorseful whatsoever she's just wanting to invite OP to her pity party and the parents encouraged this and still must have had contact with OP's ex husband. So f*ked up on so many levels. Defo NTA
Wow. That is bonafide karma right there--to go through the exact same thing OP did.
If I was OP I'd go to petty/agressive. "Sorry, I don't feel confortable bringing you/my sister in contact with my husband ... We ALL known what happened the first time and she don't need to have three other cheat-babies" Then go no contact
Hateful, self-serving, manipulative ... hat trick? Tell your parents and your unbelievable sister you wish no further contact. You sister received the only treatment she should have expected from your ex. How do you not see that coming?! SISTER!? That kills me. I had one sister... and, lost her. Sisters do not do that, dear. No.
NTA!! The b!tch & your parents are trying to get you back for financial reasons. All they want from you is to provide money, services, or both. Don't give any of them a dime and cut them out of your life completely. She deserved what she got, though I seriously doubt that she learned anything from it. Go live your life with your new family & be happy that you're no longer tied to them.
Why do people who have relationships with some one who cheated on their partner to be in that relationship always think that they aren't gonna cheat on them to? Like is it egl thinking they are better and it won't happen to them? Like if this person cheated on some one else to be with you, why do you think they won't do it again? Who actually wants to be in that type of flammable relationship. Not to mention you are most certainly not gonna completely trust them ever/keep tabs on them.
The husband and sister betraying the OP means they are toxic, horrible ppl; not using birth control while doing it means they're stupid.
I absolutely have no use for "family". Always drama. Move away and don't leave a fwd address
You ABSOLUTELY are NTA. Those honors belong to your Ex-husband and Excommunicated Sister. Honorable Mentions go to Dad and Mom for trying to force this exceptionally toxic relationship upon you. Should you CHOOSE to return to your family; it should be NOT One Moment before you feel ready.
I honestly think that OP did the right thing. Her sister is absolutely the A- hole, but her kids have no part in this that they could control so I feel like things could have gone bad between OP and her trashy sister's kids. Her snake of a sister is horrible. OP is in the right here, this is karma. NTA
I thought of this one for a while. While NTA the author can walk away forever and feel no guilt. And maybe the family does have some ulterior motive in all this, IDK? However, it also could be that the parents simply want the siblings and family back together, no strings attached and maybe are going at it wrong. Also, yes, ad nausea, the sister owes nothing to the cheater. However, now consider that for what she did they will never speak again and die estranged. Forgiveness is noble and not for everyone, but baby steps maybe ok?
This story is disgusting, this woman's family can go straight to Hell where they belong. She needs to cut them all out and never look back.
Something everyone seems to miss is that sis was with her cheating bil. If BIL was willing to cheat on his current wife, Why would sis think he would be any different with her? Getting into a relationship with a known cheater is setting yourself up for disaster.
Life is a b***h and so is the sister. I wouldnt talk to her ever again even if the Pope called me. Parents need to stfu as well. No one stood up for the sister who was screwed over. She would be dead to me. Using the she is family BS wouldnt work either. Wasnt she family when she screwed and got knocked up by her sisters husband. The sister and the ex boyfried will meet again in the 9th ring of Hell.
That sister sure has ALL the audacity. She must have a pair the size of the Titanic if she's even thinking my name after doing that. "Dead to me" is a concept for a reason and that is a good enough one for me. Those parents would be right there with her bc I exist too and so do my feelings. Thank God I have brothers and wasn't raised by monsters.
B***h got what she deserved. I would've laughed then hung up, but I'm not a nice person. Cut them all off; let them hang themselves without you.
Of course children doesn't need an aunt, or do they mean that no only child should bear children? Anyway you needn't feel responsible for your sisters children, anymore than for a strangers.
If the guy cheated on his wife, he'll cheat on the one he cheated with too. Now she knows how it feels.
For me that could be a trauma for OP but her"family" are not capable of acknowledged it
The sister got smacked hard with karma, and she deserves her misery. Of course, miscarriages & stillbirths are horrible and should never be wished on anyone. However, my family has always had our own fights throughout my mother's 3 marriages plus my own personal issues with my sister...but I've never been able to exclude the children involved. They are completely innocent & generally have no idea why the adults in their family don't get along. I was a child who was treated terribly by "family" because of adults' not liking each other & I can't imagine having it done to another child.
Sounds like the "sister" forgot that a guy who will cheat WITH you, will cheat ON you.
Why in the world does her sister need help parenting. She is a grown up.
These people are toxic and don't deserve to be in your life. The sister is insane expecting sympathy for going through what she put you through herself. Glad you found love again with someone better. I feel bad for the kids that have these crappy people raising them.
The gall of some people... The op's sister for thinking ' the guy won't ever cheat on me' to the parents for letting the op's ex into their family. Sorry the sister got a miscarriage but sometimes karma be like that
So when the slither said "sorry.".. was it pertaining to her sleeping with ex-jerk when he was married to you while your miscarried? Maybe it was for her getting pregnant. No, wait a minute maybe it was her staying with him and marrying said jerk(a double combo). Perhaps it's was for the other pregnancies! What it seems like karma came around FULL circle. She lost him how she got him, and wants to compare wounds(eyes rolling). The kids don't deserve it, but that slither (and yes I called her slither, deal with it). She should have called Jesus, your parents, his parents, and or whomever showed up to their wedding before calling you.. definitely NOT your problem. I couldn't imagine having to try fake love someone. Your parents ATAs too for trying to tell you to give up your peace or sanity for another therapist or any other institution you might need before harming them. "Holy Spirit Activate!"
Send this thread to your parents and sister and tell them that the whole world hates them they are the a******s and need to f off. So now the whole world knows they are narcissists. How does that feel parents and sister.
Omg Your sister did not once think about you while she was fooling around with your husband while you were in hospital. Stick too your guns.
Holy s**t I have no words... Sisters a b***h. Husbands a worse b***h. Parents shouldn't be having children if they don't know what non biased compassion and love is. Jesus Christ lady, get the hell out of their lives, cut them off, fake your death, something. Those psychopaths don't deserve you.
Naw, you don't get out much do you? Lol This s**t happens all the time in narsisstic families who enjoy a dabble in crazy and chained drama. 💁♀️
Load More Replies... Yes, your sister messed up. But the real devil is your ex-husband who seems like a Glenn Quagmire. He will cheat, and cheat again. Probably entice your sister to sleep with him. When he managed to divorce you without any baggage or settlement; he is at the top of his world. Too bad about your family. Hope you can patch up.
NTA f**k your side of the family stick with your husbands side and keep toxic people out of your life
So it's clear that the sister is in shock and can't believe that karma served her well. Its that age old saying, "the same way you got him, is the same way youll lose him" clealrly was heard of or adhered to. The OP needs validation, for what - I'm unsure - as she's moved on and found happiness. I feel that if she continues to allow her family to dictate what she should be doing, she will not allow herself to fully heal. Drop them like the dead weight they are.
Wow...... It's best to keep your new peace and happiness. To hell with their toxic a*s lives. There would be no reason for me to EVER see any of them again. Blood doesn't make you family. In my world they would not exist. Many blessings. #SheisMonaLisa314
NTA for sure. But I did have one thought, you do need to forgive them but in your own way and in your own time. The beautiful thing about it, is you don't even have to tell them that you forgive them. I suffered quite a traumatic childhood, and it took me 21 years to finally forgive the person. When I finally came to the realization that I had wholeheartedly forgiven them, this amazing weight that I never knew I had on my shoulders felt like it just vanished. It truly felt like something physically lifted off of my shoulders. So I say that you should forgive for your sake, not for theirs. They don't deserve anything from you, not even your forgiveness. But you deserve to forgive them for you.
Gah! Why this 'forgiveness' nonsense? Gee, Sis! I'll forgive you for being a wh0re and screwing my husband while I was losing my BABY~~NO benefit to OP in doing the 'forgiving' and everything for the wh0re! There is no spiritual uplift to turning the other cheek aside from having a matched set of bruises. Forgiveness is purely a social construct to keep people from getting even, nothing more.
Load More Replies... "the ancients" didn't teach us to turn the other cheek. Jesus taught us that. I don't think He meant we must keep toxic people in our lives. He just meant for us to not hit back. The OP didn't seek revenge. She just moved on with her life without toxic relatives and that's a good thing. She definitely NTA
That sounds like something my parents would say. In fact I can say, with a great deal of certainty, that my mother would have said something like, "Yeah, but suppose it's really you that he wants to be with." Now, a few years ago I'd have done exactly what you did. Now, I would forgive her, especially after 7 years, but no, I would not be babysitting. It's not about the children, it's about your sister's betrayal. It's bad enough when strangers betray you but familial betrayal is the absolute worst!
Explain to me why OP should 'forgive' such a conniving b!tch? The one who betrayed her multiple times and yet demands that she be forgiven? There is no reason why that piece of filth should get another chance and OP would be extremely foolish to do so. Along with wanting money and free childcare, I'm sure the b!tch wants to take a bite out of OP's new husband.
Load More Replies... Why do you people feel the need to post this on every story? Just move on.
Load More Replies... Im sure the kids don't give a f**k because they probably didn't even know op existed. Op doesn't have to do s**t for or with anyone either, that family is trash garbage
Load More Replies... Sister went behind op's back and had sex with her then husband while op was losing a child, parents, husband and sister tell her to suck it up and pretend nothing happened, sister then marries now ex husband and has 2 (was 3) kids with him, sister loses child, sister and parents DEMAND op be there for her because she's "suffering". Who tf do you think is going to forgive all that s**t?!?! Cutting off her entire family is going to give op space from these circus clowns. They're dogshit.
Load More Replies... Having a relationship with the kids and not with the parents? It was 7 years ago and they had two more children, so they must be small. No contact with the mother (OP's sister) and her parents is not possible in this scenario. I am done with this "be the bigger person" b******t, you essentially advise her to be a pushover... Other people in her sisters vicinity can step up to be role models to those kids.
Load More Replies... No, she should think of her own mental health, and cut all contact. You don't owe your family anything, just because you are related to them. Her sister knowingly chose to sleep with her husband, have a baby with him, and get married. Not everything needs to be forgiven. Plus she already is an awesome Aunt.
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