Woman Refuses To Host Thanksgiving For 30 People, Pushy Family Still Tries To Guilt-Trip Her Into It

Hosting Thanksgiving is not an easy task. When the cooking giant Allrecipes asked its readers how many hours on average it takes to prepare for the holiday, they said that cooking the meal itself takes around seven hours! So, it’s understandable why someone wouldn’t want the burden of hosting.

However, when this woman approached her big family about taking a break from hosting Thanksgiving, she was met with accusations of selfishness. Detailing her reasons for feeling burnt out, she asked strangers on the internet whether passing the baton of hosting Thanksgiving to one of her sisters would be so terrible.

The oldest sister of the family asked her big family whether she could take a break from hosting Thanksgiving

Family gathering around a traditional Thanksgiving meal with roasted turkey and autumn decorations on wooden table.

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

Although she mentioned feeling burnt out, her sisters still accused her of being selfish

Woman asking for a break in hosting traditional family Thanksgiving, facing criticism from her sisters in a close-knit family.

Woman asks for a break from hosting traditional family Thanksgiving, sparking conflict with her sisters.

Text about woman asking for a break in hosting a traditional family Thanksgiving due to burnout and responsibilities.

Woman in glasses sitting thoughtfully on chair, focusing on her phone, reflecting on traditional family Thanksgiving hosting.

Image credits: Gabrielle Henderson / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Woman asks for a break from hosting traditional family Thanksgiving, causing conflict with sisters in group chat.

Woman asks for a break in hosting traditional family Thanksgiving, facing criticism from sisters over hosting duties.

Woman asking for a break in hosting a traditional family Thanksgiving faces criticism from sisters over responsibility.

Text excerpt showing a woman asking for a break from hosting a traditional family Thanksgiving and facing upset sisters.

Woman feeling stressed and overwhelmed while asking for a break from hosting a traditional family Thanksgiving.

Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Text about a woman called selfish by her sisters for asking for a break from hosting a traditional family Thanksgiving.

Woman asks for a break in hosting traditional family Thanksgiving, facing pressure and criticism from sisters.

Woman asks for a break in hosting a traditional family Thanksgiving, facing criticism from her sisters.

Text excerpt about woman asking for a break from hosting traditional family Thanksgiving, facing criticism from sisters.

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Image credits: Askar Abayev / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Thanksgiving hosting stress is caused by financial worries and anxiety about carrying out hosting duties properly

Holiday stress is a very real thing, and Thanksgiving is the start of the holiday season. Even when people are not the hosts of Thanksgiving celebrations, it’s still stressful. According to a 2023 poll by the American Psychological Association, 89% of Americans feel joyous but overwhelmed during the holiday season.

Although the majority associates the holidays with positive feelings and words like “fun” or “exciting,” many people also admit that the season can be bittersweet. 40% see the time as stressful, and 34% say it even becomes exhausting.

The source of that hosting stress can be financial. Experts say that Thanksgiving is going to cost an average of $1,000 for a host this year. That includes the meal, traveling, and any unexpected surprises like fixing an appliance or buying a new outfit. On average, a host has to feed eight people, and each plate costs about $21.88.

Market research experts at Circana asked people what about hosting Thanksgiving worries them the most in 2025. 43% of hosts are afraid the meal won’t come out as planned, and 27% worry they might not make enough food to go around. Younger hosts, especially Millennials and older Gen Z, worry that they will spend too much time in the kitchen and not enough time socializing with their guests.

Younger hosts are also more inclined to think that participants should share the financial burden of Thanksgiving. One in three baby boomers thinks that the host should cover all the expenses of the dinner. However, 33% of Gen Z say guests should all divide the costs evenly.

Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Hosting Thanksgiving by yourself is an almost impossible task, experts say

When it comes to hosting duties, sharing tasks can also be a good way to reduce the load for the host. The woman in this story is not crazy for asking her family for help: no matter how much we’d like to uphold family traditions, life sometimes just gets in the way.

Ingrid Helander, LMFT, writes that telling at least one guest that you’re overwhelmed with Thanksgiving hosting duties can be enough. She suggests showing yourself compassion: “Remind yourself that you can do this meal in any way you want as it is in your home.”

Even planner Crysta Miller agrees, saying that some guests might be waiting to be asked for help; that makes them feel like they’re a bigger part of the day. “Just because you are hosting doesn’t mean you have to do everything,” Miller told Martha Stewart. “Maybe pies aren’t your specialty, so ask a friend to help you out! Don’t be afraid to ask for help from your guests.”

Food enthusiasts at Delish reassure those who think that asking for help while being the host might be seen as a sign of weakness. “A Thanksgiving meal is nearly impossible to execute on your own. You need a brigade to take on some of the tasks,” they write.

The solution is similar to what the sisters in this story did: asking others to bring dishes, having catering do the hardest parts of the meal, or just asking for help in the kitchen. People say that raising kids takes a village, but once a year, the village can come together and help make Thanksgiving a memorable day of kindness, closeness, and family connection.

“I’m just so tired,” the woman wrote, “this year has been a rough one”

Text from a Reddit thread where a woman describes hosting traditional family Thanksgiving and feeling tired.

Comment thread discussing a woman asking for a break from hosting traditional family Thanksgiving, called selfish by sisters.

Comment discussing woman asking for a break from hosting traditional family Thanksgiving and being called selfish by sisters.

Online discussion about a woman asking for a break from hosting a traditional family Thanksgiving, seen as selfish by sisters.

Reddit comments discussing a woman asking for a break from hosting a traditional family Thanksgiving.

Reddit conversation discussing a woman needing a break from hosting traditional family Thanksgiving with sister conflicts.

Commenter discusses woman asking for a break from hosting traditional family Thanksgiving amid stress and criticism from sisters.

Commenters sided with the woman, accusing her sisters of using “tradition” to manipulate her

Comment discussing the challenges of hosting a traditional family Thanksgiving and dealing with sisters’ expectations.

Comment discussing a woman asking for a break from hosting a traditional family Thanksgiving and the family burden involved.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing challenges when a woman asks for a break in hosting a traditional family Thanksgiving.

Comment from No_Tough3666 describing feeling unappreciated while hosting traditional family Thanksgiving meals.

Woman asks for a break in hosting family Thanksgiving, sparking argument with sisters calling her selfish.

Text response from an online forum debating a woman asking for a break in hosting a traditional family Thanksgiving and being called selfish by sisters.

Comment defending woman asking for a break from hosting a traditional family Thanksgiving, calling her deserving a rest.

Text conversation about a woman asking for a break from hosting traditional family Thanksgiving, facing criticism from sisters.

Comment discussing the challenges of hosting a traditional family Thanksgiving and sharing household roles.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment defending a woman asking for a break from hosting a traditional family Thanksgiving.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing a woman asking for a break from hosting a traditional family Thanksgiving.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman asking for a break in hosting a traditional family Thanksgiving.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment suggesting options after a woman asks for a break from hosting a traditional family Thanksgiving.

Comment discussing the stress of hosting a traditional family Thanksgiving without help, calling the family delusional.

Woman asks for a break from hosting traditional family Thanksgiving, causing conflict with sisters over selfishness.

Screenshot of a forum comment discussing a woman tired of hosting a traditional family Thanksgiving and being called selfish by sisters.

Comment discussing a woman asking for a break from hosting traditional family Thanksgiving and facing criticism from sisters.

In the end, the sisters sympathized with the eldest’s struggles and agreed to divide hosting tasks

Woman upset and asking for a break from hosting traditional family Thanksgiving, speaking with her sister on a couch.

Image credits: Nini FromParis / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Text update about woman asking for a break in hosting traditional family Thanksgiving and family reactions.

Text discussing a woman arranging full service catering for a traditional family Thanksgiving and cost splitting.

Text excerpt about a woman asking for a break in hosting a traditional family Thanksgiving and facing criticism from sisters.

Text from a woman explaining family dynamics around hosting a traditional family Thanksgiving and holiday expenses.

Image credits: Acemer0904

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