“I Just Ignored It And Went To Sleep”: Woman Won’t Answer Roommates’ Calls About Letting Them In

We’ve all encountered inconsiderate people at some point. And as a sensible human being, taking the high road would be the advisable course of action. 

However, there will come a point when tolerating their abhorrent behavior is no longer an option. By then, you must set boundaries to send the message that what they’re doing is no longer acceptable. 

This was a quandary a woman found herself dealing with while living with some insensitive housemates. She finally took action one day, which made her realize something about herself. 

Taking the high road is the sensible response to an inconsiderate person

Woman fed up ignoring roommates’ calls while studying at a wooden table in a sunlit room filled with books and papers.

Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

This is what a woman initially did when she dealt with some insensitive housemates

Woman fed up with being roommates’ personal doorman, ignoring calls while discussing key and house-sharing issues.

Text image showing a woman fed up with being her roommates’ personal doorman, explaining key access issues.

Text about a woman fed up with being her roommates’ personal doorman, describing being locked out after long shifts.

Woman with closed eyes, looking fed up and stressed, holding her head in frustration indoors.

Image credits: Sinitta Leunen / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

However, their behavior had become more and more intolerable for her

Woman fed up with being roommates’ personal doorman ignores their calls after repeated key and yard gate issues.

Woman fed up being roommates’ personal doorman ignores calls after inconvenience of unlocking front door alone at home

Woman fed up with being her roommates’ personal doorman, ignoring repeated calls at the apartment door.

Close-up of a door handle with keys in the lock, symbolizing a woman fed up with being her roommates’ personal doorman.

Image credits: Alena Darmel / Pexels (not the actual photo)

She finally took action one day, but wondered whether she went too far in doing so

Text excerpt about a woman ignoring calls from roommates, fed up with being their personal doorman.

Text post showing a woman fed up with being her roommates’ personal doorman ignoring their calls and setting boundaries.

Image credits: Sensitive-Pack4666

Deciding to “ghost” someone you live with is a use of power or force

Based on the author’s account, she had been enduring her housemates’ insensitivity for a while before she began ghosting them. Apart from letting them know that their behavior was becoming unbearable, it may also have been her way of exerting power. 

“Choosing to engage or not is forceful,” Conflict First Aid founder Joan Feringa told Bored Panda. “Silence and shutting down can be bullying, even when it is a form of self-preservation, for both internal or external and sudden or chronic needs.” 

However, ghosting may also be a sign of a lack of skills or confidence to handle conflict. It did take a while for the author to take action, after all, which may indicate her lack of desire for confrontation. 

“Whether this comes from lack of practice, or a trauma response (think ‘flight’ in fight or flight), the person is choosing withdrawal, rather than conflict resolution, as a coping strategy,” licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist Margaux Flood said, noting that ghosting can feel safer, especially if they fear escalation or don’t trust their ability to calmly hold boundaries. 

So, how do you go about resolving conflicts with people you live with? Feringa says timing is key. 

“The secret is to see timing and time (say, ‘a day’ or ‘3 months’…or ‘right now’) as part of the answer – or part of the problem. Discerning that, as part of what and how the problem came to be and is solved, can change everything, whether it is a one-time problem or a pattern of toxic behavior.”

Meanwhile, Flood says repair begins with accountability, without trying to justify your actions. 

“Roommates do not have to be best friends, but it is important that everyone feels safe and valued by the people they share a home with,” she said, while also stressing that dealing with roommate conflict shouldn’t be done via text, as it creates room for interpretation. She only recommends doing so for safety reasons or when documentation is needed. 

Unfortunately for the author, the issue was never actually resolved. It may be best for her to find another place to live.

Commenters were unanimous in their reactions as the woman addressed some questions

Screenshot of a Reddit conversation about a woman fed up with being her roommates’ personal doorman ignoring their calls.

Text message conversation showing frustration, illustrating a woman fed up with being her roommates’ personal doorman.

Screenshot of a forum comment discussing a woman fed up with being her roommates’ personal doorman ignoring their calls.

Text comment from a user discussing setting boundaries with roommates who don’t pay rent or have keys.

Text message advice suggesting blocking numbers and securing belongings from roommates to stop being their personal doorman.

Comment about roommate issues and safety risks, reflecting a woman fed up with being her roommates’ personal doorman.

Comment text about roommates relying on a woman for favors, highlighting her setting boundaries and ignoring their calls.

Comment discussing the risks of leaving a hidden spare key and addressing roommates who forget their keys.

Woman ignoring multiple phone calls, fed up with being roommates’ personal doorman in a shared apartment setting.

Woman fed up ignoring calls from roommates at the door, showing frustration and setting boundaries inside a home.

Woman annoyed by roommates constantly asking for help, ignoring their calls and refusing to be their personal doorman.

Woman ignoring calls from roommates at home, visibly fed up with being treated like a personal doorman.

Comment about roommates ignoring calls, showing frustration of woman fed up being their personal doorman.

Comment explaining frustration with roommates not paying rent and urging action to involve landlord and remove them.

Comment on social media post showing frustration about roommates, relating to woman fed up being roommates’ personal doorman ignoring calls.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing a woman fed up with being her roommates’ personal doorman ignoring their calls.

Text post showing a user sharing a story about roommates and being fed up with acting as their personal doorman.

Text post showing a Reddit comment about a Walmart having a key maker near the entrance.

User comment about being a doormat for roommates, expressing frustration and setting boundaries for personal space.

Reddit advice on lease violations and overnight guests affecting roommates and landlords, discussing potential eviction risks.

She shared an update three weeks later

Woman fed up with being roommates’ personal doorman, reads messages about setting boundaries and confronting disrespect.

Woman fed up with being her roommates’ personal doorman, ignoring their calls after repeated frustration and boundary setting.

Woman fed up with being her roommates’ personal doorman, ignoring their calls during a tense living room conversation.

Image credits: SHVETS production / Pexels (not the actual photo)

She confronted the people she had a problem with, but reached no definite resolution

Woman fed up with being roommates’ personal doorman, ignoring calls and dealing with unresponsive roommates.

Woman fed up with being roommates’ personal doorman, ignoring their calls while explaining her frustration in a message.

Text on a white background describing a friend refusing to acknowledge her boyfriend rummaging through the fridge, causing a misunderstanding over missing food.

Woman fed up with being roommates’ personal doorman, ignoring their calls and dealing with shared fridge conflicts.

Text excerpt showing a woman fed up with being her roommates’ personal doorman and ignoring their calls.

Young woman fed up with being roommates’ personal doorman, sitting on couch looking frustrated and ignoring calls.

Image credits: Gui Spinardi / Pexels (not the actual photo)

She also revealed her plans to find another place to live

Woman fed up with being roommates’ personal doorman, expressing frustration about incompatible living situation and ignored needs.

Woman fed up with being roommates’ personal doorman sets boundaries by ignoring their calls and buying a mini-fridge.

Text on screen showing woman fed up with being her roommates’ personal doorman, choosing peace over drama.

Image credits: Sensitive-Pack4666

Commenters showed support for her next move

Comment expressing frustration about roommates and suggesting a lock for the mini fridge to avoid being a personal doorman.

Comment expressing frustration about roommates relying on her to handle door duties, questioning their ability to get a key made.

Text comment on a forum discussing adding a bedroom door lock. Woman fed up with being roommates’ personal doorman context.

Comment expressing frustration about disrespect and feeling unsupported when living with roommates who gang up.

Comment discussing frustration of a woman fed up with being her roommates’ personal doorman and advice on finding a new place.

Woman fed up with being roommates’ personal doorman, ignoring their calls while sitting on couch with phone.

Comment reading Hopefully you threw away the spare key posted by user Lisa_Knows_Best in a casual online discussion about being a roommate’s personal doorman and ignoring calls.

Screenshot of a forum comment about liking spicy food, illustrating frustration similar to a woman ignoring roommate calls.

Screenshot of a supportive comment saying Proud of you, reflecting a woman fed up with being her roommates’ personal doorman.

Woman ignoring phone calls, fed up with being roommates’ personal doorman and tired of unwanted tasks.

Screenshot of an online comment expressing frustration about living with roommates and ignoring their calls.

Screenshot of a comment discussing frustration with roommates and being treated like a personal doorman.

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