“Why Do So Many Women Marry Men Like This?”: Woman Leaves Husband After Years Of Being Treated Like A Maid

People divorce for many different reasons. The most popular are infidelity, money troubles, lack of communication, simply drifting apart, or a lack of commitment. Women are more likely to initiate divorce, as 70% of divorces in the U.S. are filed by women.

This woman filed for divorce too when she couldn’t stand her man-child husband anymore. For four years, she carried the household on her back while he was the breadwinner but had no interest in his own daughter. His mother enabled his behavior and didn’t make the wife’s life any easier. So, she packed up her things on Christmas Eve and left the divorce papers on his gaming desk.

A woman had had enough of her lazy husband and decided to file for divorce

Image credits: SHVETS production/Pexels (not the actual photo)

At first, she named her self-proclaimed “boy mom” MIL as another culprit in the divorce

Image credits: cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Last_Climate_2159

“I stupidly thought he’d change,” the woman admitted in the comments

“Why do so many women marry men like this?” people asked rhetorically in the comments

Many women are financially trapped in marriages and delay asking for a divorce

This story is a classic example of why it’s harder for women to leave an unhappy marriage. Both men and women can feel equally unhappy in a marriage. Both men and women might want to get a divorce because they feel neglected. However, women often face more financial, social, and caregiving obstacles.

In this story, the wife hesitated to leave her husband because she had no financial cushion to fall back on. She spent four years of their marriage being the caregiver to their daughter and doing housework while he was the sole breadwinner. While this may work in relationships where spouses trust each other, communicate openly, and share household responsibilities, it’s definitely a recipe for disaster in toxic relationships.

In this story, the wife had to put a hold on her education and career, and thus became completely financially dependent on her husband. This is a common situation that many women find themselves in. In fact, according to a 2024 poll by MoneyShe, one in three women feel trapped in a relationship due to a lack of financial independence.

Entrepreneur, activist, and founder of MoneyShe, Gina Miller, told The Guardian that women don’t fall into this trap overnight. “Financial domestic [mistreatment] is chronically unreported; it is a form of coercive control. This happened to me, and it didn’t happen overnight,” she explained.

“It was a series of behaviours which led me to rely on him to look after our finances. It left me vulnerable. When I left, I left with nothing to get out.” The OP found herself in a similar situation, but said she would leave no matter what it took, even without a support system or a penny to her name.

Image credits: MART PRODUCTION/Pexels (not the actual photo)

In some cases, marriage benefits men more than it benefits women

As we grow up, society conditions men and women to see their value differently. We raise men to believe that they’re valuable fathers, husbands, and members of society if they contribute in material ways. A woman’s value, on the other hand, depends on how much she cares for others. As Brooklyn-based psychotherapist Tonya Lester, LCSW, writes, “Long-standing societal norms encourage men to be ‘self-oriented’ and women to be ‘other-oriented.'”

In this story, the husband imagined a traditional role of a husband and father. He provides for his wife and daughter financially, but leaves all the caregiving and household tasks to his wife. After he comes back from work, he locks himself in his gaming room and refers to taking care of his daughter as “babysitting,” adding that he hates doing it.

But women are realizing that marriage often benefits men disproportionately. For example, women lose free time when they get married, and even more so when children enter the picture. Single mothers actually do less housework than married women. After a divorce, women also experience an increase in how much they earn.

As this wife wrote, “No matter what happens, my life will be significantly better without him in it.” It’s not just her feelings talking: there’s some real evidence that women really do live better after exiting a marriage.

As she planned her escape, the wife realized that the MIL wasn’t the root of the problem – the husband was

Image credits: Ivan S/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Last_Climate_2159

Commenters congratulated the woman on her successful escape

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