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“Do You Have A Crush On My Husband?”: Coworker Crosses Major Boundary, Regrets It
Contrary to what romantic comedies and daring relationship stories might lead you to believe, having a crush on someone doesn’t immediately make you into a plot-critical, above-the-law main character who “gets the girl despite adversity.”
In reality, if you do end up developing a crush on your coworker’s husband, then attaining his phone number through nefarious means and start driving a wedge into their relationship, all you’ll get is a meeting with the HR.
RELATED:
While having a crush is normal, letting that crush lead you into doing nefarious things is not
Image credits: Damir Kopezhanov / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
A woman recently asked the internet if she’d be too harsh for reporting a coworker to HR over a privacy violation
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Ruan Richard Rodrigues / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: jadenicole_gardens
The ‘crush’ part didn’t bother the woman, but the breach of privacy did, and a report would’ve likely meant her coworker would be fired
A Redditor recently visited r/AITAH for some perspective on an issue she has. Long story short, she has a coworker who admitted to having a crush on her husband. OP didn’t think much of it—it’s a harmless crush.
Unfortunately, harmless turned inappropriate really quickly when OP learned her husband got a text from her coworker. A text that attempted to drive a wedge in their relationship.
And so OP wondered if it’s something that HR ought to hear about considering the harsh policies in the company. Spoiler: folks in the comment section were all in favor of her coworker being reported.
Folks emphasized the brevity of the privacy violation that the coworker caused—using company resources for personal gains in ways that breach people’s privacy. Not only is this a violation against OP, it’s also a potential source of a data leak, so the company wouldn’t be happy about it either.
Besides that, some commenters suggested that the coworker is “unbalanced” and is attempting to become a homewrecker with her crazy behavior.
The story received nearly 6,000 upvotes and generated a discussion with 2,400 comments.
Multiple issues arise from abusing the privileges of access to information, ranging from security risks to hurting people
Employees working in a company might be given certain privileges that would allow them to do their job, if not empower them to do it better. However, some might choose to abuse their privileges for personal gain, either maliciously or accidentally.
In any case, that is a huge problem as it can cause leaks of sensitive data and business intelligence and, if not done cautiously, might crash systems and apps essential for a business to run, thus hurting the bottom line.
This is besides things like damage to a company’s reputation, bad publicity, risk of lawsuits and penalties due to failure to comply with safety and security standards.
Based on Verizon’s Data Breach Investigation Report from 2017, privilege misuse was the second most common cause of security incidents and third most common for breaches. Needless to say, it’s only natural for companies to employ strict policies to make sure privilege misuse is nonexistent.
And all of the same points apply on a personal level—privilege abuse such as access to personal data can empower employees to get personal gain from their coworkers, thus putting them in a situation where everything from their reputation to their financials might suffer.
So, what are your thoughts on any of this? Share your takes and stories in the comment section below!
The author of the story provide a bit of context in the form of responses to commenters
In any case, folks thought she wouldn’t be wrong to tell HR about the incident
The woman also provided a bit of an update to the original post
Image credits: Anna Shvets / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: charlesdeluvio / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: jadenicole_gardens
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What do you think ?
Bewitched One 1 year ago
I'm just genuinely curious what she thought was gonna happen by texting her coworkers husband that?! "You know what, now that I think about it.... she's bothering me too! Let's run away together and live happily ever after and make babies!!!" ?!?! Hahahaha WUT
Elio 1 year ago
I know right? Like she seriously thinks he's going to divorce his wife and I guess run away with her. Seriously delusional.
Load More Replies...
Lauren 1 year ago
She sounds like a walking, bl**ding, red flag. If she would go as far as employee misconduct and straight up lying to her husband to get her foot in the door of their life, she obviously either does not believe rules apply to her, consequences apply to her, or that she will do or take what she wants when she wants. Those are not personality traits that usually accompany rational thinking individuals. I wouldn't stop until she's fired and then I would take extra precautions to ensure she doesn't retaliate. Not worth the risk. Make her be gone before she tries to make you be gone. Period.
Ivanka G 1 year ago
The update was on AITA, copied and pasted below: "Update: Hey everyone, since almost every comment was on the exact same page I really do appreciate everyone's input. With that said there was an overwhelming appreciation for the need for my privacy so I'd like to provide that to my co-worker as well. She was indeed fired from her position this week but that's all the information I will provide in respect to her privacy. If she ever sees this I honestly hope the best for her and all I have to say is just make smarter choices in the future. Thank you everyone ❤️"
Load More Replies...
MR 1 year ago
I couldn't get past the "bring family to help us" thing. Yeah, great, they got paid. But if this is such a big, great, company, they should be able to handle that internally or hire externally for this process. But no, it has nothing to do with jealousy and everything to do with privacy invasion. She looked up your private information and used that for non business purposes. That's absolutely a fireable offense and has nothing to do with you or your wants. And a willingness to do so means she's easily willing to do worse by abusing her position. That's too dangerous to have around. The fact that she did so in a likely attempt to have an affair with a coworker's husband just adds fuel to that fire. If she succeeded and you got pissed, that could easily lead to lawsuits they want no part of. She made her bed and you really do need to report it.
Papa 1 year ago
OP obviously didn't have a problem with it, so I don't see why people with no knowledge of the situation should get bent out of shape about it.
Load More Replies...
Susan Bell 1 year ago
Crossing a boundary like that, referring to a congenial co-worker in such a negative, dishonest way, being so obsessed with sexuality are 3 big red flags. If you have an HR dept, they need to know. Getting fired happens to a lot of people. For some, they are being set free to come closer to a desired path. For some, like your colleague, it is a wake-call to get counseling, to set realistic life goals, to develop moral fortitude. You are not responsible for the path she has taken with her behavior. You are doing the right thing for the workplace and for her. She needs the wake-up call. It is a chance for her to be happier.
James016 1 year ago
Definitely go to HR. This is a data breach at the very least and could be considered theft of personal data. Just after the first lockdown, someone in our finance team resigned. Someone else in another finance team was promoted into the role. However despite his experience, this newly promoted person struggled. So what he did was go into one of the HR systems (he had access as he was doing payroll in his old role), got his predecessor’s personal number and called him. The resulting s**t storm was not fun to watch. The guy who left complained in a big way. As we are subject to GDPR it had to be reported to the Information Commissioner’s Office. Guy was asked to leave and the company somehow avoided a fine.
Rostit.. . 1 year ago
She needs consequences. While op may not want her to be fired, the breach of company policy is the main issue.
varwenea 1 year ago
Superbly stupid of that women. A breech of privacy as well as company resources to achieve that breech of privacy is a double whammy no-no. The OP is right to report her. If the OP only spoke with the woman 1:1 in an attempt to correct her, the woman will 100% proceed to sabotage her work as she has no qualms with lying to her husband in the text. The company was right to fire her. Such poor judgment will undoubtedly show up in her work, too. Good riddance.
Bewitched One 1 year ago
I'm just genuinely curious what she thought was gonna happen by texting her coworkers husband that?! "You know what, now that I think about it.... she's bothering me too! Let's run away together and live happily ever after and make babies!!!" ?!?! Hahahaha WUT
Elio 1 year ago
I know right? Like she seriously thinks he's going to divorce his wife and I guess run away with her. Seriously delusional.
Load More Replies... Lauren 1 year ago
She sounds like a walking, bl**ding, red flag. If she would go as far as employee misconduct and straight up lying to her husband to get her foot in the door of their life, she obviously either does not believe rules apply to her, consequences apply to her, or that she will do or take what she wants when she wants. Those are not personality traits that usually accompany rational thinking individuals. I wouldn't stop until she's fired and then I would take extra precautions to ensure she doesn't retaliate. Not worth the risk. Make her be gone before she tries to make you be gone. Period.
Ivanka G 1 year ago
The update was on AITA, copied and pasted below: "Update: Hey everyone, since almost every comment was on the exact same page I really do appreciate everyone's input. With that said there was an overwhelming appreciation for the need for my privacy so I'd like to provide that to my co-worker as well. She was indeed fired from her position this week but that's all the information I will provide in respect to her privacy. If she ever sees this I honestly hope the best for her and all I have to say is just make smarter choices in the future. Thank you everyone ❤️"
Load More Replies... MR 1 year ago
I couldn't get past the "bring family to help us" thing. Yeah, great, they got paid. But if this is such a big, great, company, they should be able to handle that internally or hire externally for this process. But no, it has nothing to do with jealousy and everything to do with privacy invasion. She looked up your private information and used that for non business purposes. That's absolutely a fireable offense and has nothing to do with you or your wants. And a willingness to do so means she's easily willing to do worse by abusing her position. That's too dangerous to have around. The fact that she did so in a likely attempt to have an affair with a coworker's husband just adds fuel to that fire. If she succeeded and you got pissed, that could easily lead to lawsuits they want no part of. She made her bed and you really do need to report it.
Papa 1 year ago
OP obviously didn't have a problem with it, so I don't see why people with no knowledge of the situation should get bent out of shape about it.
Load More Replies... Susan Bell 1 year ago
Crossing a boundary like that, referring to a congenial co-worker in such a negative, dishonest way, being so obsessed with sexuality are 3 big red flags. If you have an HR dept, they need to know. Getting fired happens to a lot of people. For some, they are being set free to come closer to a desired path. For some, like your colleague, it is a wake-call to get counseling, to set realistic life goals, to develop moral fortitude. You are not responsible for the path she has taken with her behavior. You are doing the right thing for the workplace and for her. She needs the wake-up call. It is a chance for her to be happier.
James016 1 year ago
Definitely go to HR. This is a data breach at the very least and could be considered theft of personal data. Just after the first lockdown, someone in our finance team resigned. Someone else in another finance team was promoted into the role. However despite his experience, this newly promoted person struggled. So what he did was go into one of the HR systems (he had access as he was doing payroll in his old role), got his predecessor’s personal number and called him. The resulting s**t storm was not fun to watch. The guy who left complained in a big way. As we are subject to GDPR it had to be reported to the Information Commissioner’s Office. Guy was asked to leave and the company somehow avoided a fine.
Rostit.. . 1 year ago
She needs consequences. While op may not want her to be fired, the breach of company policy is the main issue.
varwenea 1 year ago
Superbly stupid of that women. A breech of privacy as well as company resources to achieve that breech of privacy is a double whammy no-no. The OP is right to report her. If the OP only spoke with the woman 1:1 in an attempt to correct her, the woman will 100% proceed to sabotage her work as she has no qualms with lying to her husband in the text. The company was right to fire her. Such poor judgment will undoubtedly show up in her work, too. Good riddance.
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