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11
Woman Accused Of Throwing A Tantrum After Boycotting Sister’s Wedding Because Of Her Dumb New Rule
Planning the guest list for a small, intimate wedding can be tricky. Some people close to the couple may not be invited. In some cases, like in the story you’re about to read, this may include a sibling’s child.
Reddit user Eastern-Second-2528 has a sister who is about to get married. The problem arose when her teenage daughter was excluded from the guest list. A heated argument ensued, and the author got called out for “throwing a tantrum.”
The stressful situation made her vent her frustrations on the AITA subreddit for clarity.
RELATED:
Pre-wedding family drama can be a massive headache to deal with
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Guest list issues caused a rift between a woman and her soon-to-be-married sister
Image credits: Alex Green / Pexels (not the actual photo)
A heated argument ensued, leading to some name-calling
Image credits: Eastern-Second-2528
Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The desire for control is one of the common reasons for family drama
The two women in the story argued about including the teenage girl on the wedding guest list. Neither of them was willing to back down, likely because they wanted to control the situation and get their way.
According to licensed marriage and family therapist Sarah Epstein, it is one of the common causes of pre-wedding family drama. Her article published in Psychology Today states that logic gets thrown out the window during such tense moments.
Epstein brought up another possible factor: the fear of being left out. In this case, the author didn’t want her daughter to miss out on a significant family event.
Image credits: Emma Bauso / Pexels (not the actual photo)
A successful ceremony is possible even if the people in conflict are present
A peaceful, drama-free ceremony is achievable, even with the warring family members around. According to experts like The Wedding Academy founder Kylie Carlson, it’s about maintaining distance.
In an interview withShondaland, she advises speaking with wedding planners for appropriate seat assignments and with the photographers to ensure the people at odds aren’t in the same shot.
Overall, Carlson emphasizes the importance of communication. She encourages one-on-one dialogues with certain family members about behavior expectations if needed.
“These aren’t easy conversations to have, but taking this step means you’re not leaving things to chance,” she said.
The bride-to-be seemed set on her decision to exclude her niece, which likely didn’t sway the author to change her mind about not attending. Unless they were willing to reason, any conversation would’ve been futile.
What do you think, dear readers? Who was in the wrong here?
The author answered some questions to provide more information
People in the comments were divided, but most of them sided with her
However, there were a few who blamed her
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What do you think ?
V 1 year ago
If you are going to have a childfree wedding you cannot complain when your friends and family with children don't come.
Max Fox 1 year ago
My kid was away at college before she turned 17, and these YTA dorks believe that she was too young to be allowed to be at a wedding. Morons. Hell, I started my basic training in the military at the ripe old age of 18 years a 13 days, so I guess that I was old enough to be trusted with weapons of mass destruction, but not with a glass of champagne and wedding centerpieces. As I wrote - morons.
Mary Lou 1 year ago
I also love the reasoning about teenagers testing their limits - like what are the chances that the quiet shy 17year old girl will test her limits rather than the 18-20 year old bunch of guys?
Load More Replies...
arthbach 1 year ago
A friend who lived in France was invited to her father's 5th wedding. The wedding was in the USA. My friend's children were not invited. She declined the invitation as she was not going to leave her children behind. . When pressed to come, she replied she'd give this wedding a miss, but she'd be sure to come to the next one. - - - - Perhaps a similar response was needed in this story.
Dainty72 1 year ago
Those people that are saying YTA ARE TA's it's only one girl who turns 18 a month after and this is absolutely deliberate! The others are boys between 18 and 21 she also the only girl. This is not being a cry baby (to the person who wrote that) you all would do exactly the same and think "it's MY day and MY rules= bridezilla's. If this was you, you'd be feeling very different! You "YTA" commenters are just nasty like this MF sister. I'm btw I'm all for child free, but this isn't the same at all. People who are like this haven't/wont feel a little bit sorry, disgusting!!! These aren't nice people if they can exclude their niece knowing it's ONLY HER that can't go. Have a heart and understand how this may effect her, especially because she's quiet? Horrible b***h!!! DON'T GO TO THIS WEDDING! If you do, that girl will be sitting by herself wondering what TF has she done? NTA by a long way! Ignore people trolling calling you names, they're as bad as your sister! The troll brigade!!!!!
Wendy Herman 1 year ago (edited)
You're 100% correct. Imagine that poor kid crying alone at home, wondering why her entire family hates her. Like being a teenaged girl isn't difficult enough already. This Grandma-to-be wants to send her a Giant Hug. 💙
Load More Replies...
UpupaEpops 1 year ago (edited)
I was just at a wedding last week and I now understand why someone wouldn't want toddlers at their wedding. It's not pretty when a very young child has a complete meltdown during the bride's entrance, in the middle of the vows, during pictures, etc. I think we clocked in at 5 tantrums throughout the ceremony and unfortunately due to the setting the parents couldn't just remove the child. But in my view the point of a "child-free" wedding is to minimise disruption. A 17-year-old is perfectly capable of understanding appropriate behaviour. If they don't, then you absolutely do have the right to exclude them from your event. To do it on a basis of "just because", especially at such a small wedding is petty.
Trillian 1 year ago (edited)
I totally agree about child-free weddings being fine but the main problem is actually the parents, not the toddler here. They need to take the kid outside the minute they start crying ffs. I used to take my daughter along to events but I or her dad would always stand close to the entrance in case we had to do this.
Load More Replies...
martin734 1 year ago
What is it with Americans infantilising their kids for so long? A 17 year old is not a child and should not be treated like one. I can understand a childfree wedding excluding those under 16 but excluding a 17 year old is ridiculous, she could be going to her own weddung in a few months ffs!
Wendy Herman 1 year ago
It's not about anyone truly believing that this quiet 17 y.o. girl is somehow "too childish" to attend a wedding that her 18-21 y.o. male cousins have been invited to. It's either about a sister who's really more of a "frenemy" (as well as a Terrible aunt), or else is beyond-jealous & suffering from NPD (while causing an innocent teen to suffer the effects of it, as well). So glad this Mom stood up for her kid. I love the comment about declining b/c she couldn't find "childcare" for that day. Great response. The "5th wedding" reply was spot-on, too. I don't understand why some folks get a charge out of being purposely cruel or spiteful. Esp. w/ family. It's just sad, really. And pointless.
Load More Replies...
Mr. Jones 1 year ago
This sounds like something my sister would pull and she'd do it just to be mean. My mother would have pulled something like this as well and she'd do it just to be mean. I was the target of c**p like this growing up and it was all just to be mean. Stop trying to figure out what's wrong with the 17yo and start wondering my this adult is so threatened by her.
V 1 year ago
If you are going to have a childfree wedding you cannot complain when your friends and family with children don't come.
Max Fox 1 year ago
My kid was away at college before she turned 17, and these YTA dorks believe that she was too young to be allowed to be at a wedding. Morons. Hell, I started my basic training in the military at the ripe old age of 18 years a 13 days, so I guess that I was old enough to be trusted with weapons of mass destruction, but not with a glass of champagne and wedding centerpieces. As I wrote - morons.
Mary Lou 1 year ago
I also love the reasoning about teenagers testing their limits - like what are the chances that the quiet shy 17year old girl will test her limits rather than the 18-20 year old bunch of guys?
Load More Replies... arthbach 1 year ago
A friend who lived in France was invited to her father's 5th wedding. The wedding was in the USA. My friend's children were not invited. She declined the invitation as she was not going to leave her children behind. . When pressed to come, she replied she'd give this wedding a miss, but she'd be sure to come to the next one. - - - - Perhaps a similar response was needed in this story.
Dainty72 1 year ago
Those people that are saying YTA ARE TA's it's only one girl who turns 18 a month after and this is absolutely deliberate! The others are boys between 18 and 21 she also the only girl. This is not being a cry baby (to the person who wrote that) you all would do exactly the same and think "it's MY day and MY rules= bridezilla's. If this was you, you'd be feeling very different! You "YTA" commenters are just nasty like this MF sister. I'm btw I'm all for child free, but this isn't the same at all. People who are like this haven't/wont feel a little bit sorry, disgusting!!! These aren't nice people if they can exclude their niece knowing it's ONLY HER that can't go. Have a heart and understand how this may effect her, especially because she's quiet? Horrible b***h!!! DON'T GO TO THIS WEDDING! If you do, that girl will be sitting by herself wondering what TF has she done? NTA by a long way! Ignore people trolling calling you names, they're as bad as your sister! The troll brigade!!!!!
Wendy Herman 1 year ago (edited)
You're 100% correct. Imagine that poor kid crying alone at home, wondering why her entire family hates her. Like being a teenaged girl isn't difficult enough already. This Grandma-to-be wants to send her a Giant Hug. 💙
Load More Replies... UpupaEpops 1 year ago (edited)
I was just at a wedding last week and I now understand why someone wouldn't want toddlers at their wedding. It's not pretty when a very young child has a complete meltdown during the bride's entrance, in the middle of the vows, during pictures, etc. I think we clocked in at 5 tantrums throughout the ceremony and unfortunately due to the setting the parents couldn't just remove the child. But in my view the point of a "child-free" wedding is to minimise disruption. A 17-year-old is perfectly capable of understanding appropriate behaviour. If they don't, then you absolutely do have the right to exclude them from your event. To do it on a basis of "just because", especially at such a small wedding is petty.
Trillian 1 year ago (edited)
I totally agree about child-free weddings being fine but the main problem is actually the parents, not the toddler here. They need to take the kid outside the minute they start crying ffs. I used to take my daughter along to events but I or her dad would always stand close to the entrance in case we had to do this.
Load More Replies... martin734 1 year ago
What is it with Americans infantilising their kids for so long? A 17 year old is not a child and should not be treated like one. I can understand a childfree wedding excluding those under 16 but excluding a 17 year old is ridiculous, she could be going to her own weddung in a few months ffs!
Wendy Herman 1 year ago
It's not about anyone truly believing that this quiet 17 y.o. girl is somehow "too childish" to attend a wedding that her 18-21 y.o. male cousins have been invited to. It's either about a sister who's really more of a "frenemy" (as well as a Terrible aunt), or else is beyond-jealous & suffering from NPD (while causing an innocent teen to suffer the effects of it, as well). So glad this Mom stood up for her kid. I love the comment about declining b/c she couldn't find "childcare" for that day. Great response. The "5th wedding" reply was spot-on, too. I don't understand why some folks get a charge out of being purposely cruel or spiteful. Esp. w/ family. It's just sad, really. And pointless.
Load More Replies... Mr. Jones 1 year ago
This sounds like something my sister would pull and she'd do it just to be mean. My mother would have pulled something like this as well and she'd do it just to be mean. I was the target of c**p like this growing up and it was all just to be mean. Stop trying to figure out what's wrong with the 17yo and start wondering my this adult is so threatened by her.
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